im about to post all my therapy receipts in the past 9 years to shut u and all the female miscers up about that chit. doesnt do chit. is my therapist going to suck my dick? are they going to set me up with their daughter??? lmfao

We're just concerned

A lot of Miscers need therapy but I think these 2 have posted they go to therapy. Therapy is helpful but many times therapists suggest meetups or other ways to meet people besides online, and it's tough to in this clown world. Still, it's good that they hae someone to listen to them. My therapist has made a lot of good suggestions of how to handle difficult work or family situations, but when it comes to finding a loving partner, they have no clue what to do as the dating game has changed dramatically in the past few years.

Mine keeps saying to meet a guy IRL but most in my area are foreigners. My meetup group is full of foreigners.

the only girl I actually like lives 5 hours away

I stayed with her for 4 days this past weekend and it was awesome af

I also met her organically which is a nice change

but

I'm really tired of the whole dating app thing and the sloots on it, and I know I can't do a long distance relationship

pain

That sucks. Why not try long distance if she's a keeper?

You don't like Foreigners?

I like blonde hair and blue eyes. I guess they would be foreigners if they were from Holland. We all have our preferences.

Because I don't see an endgame happening with the long distance

She wants to stay close to her family + planning on going back to school in their area next year

I would never live in the bay area as I love it here in socal

Sorry to hear brah.
How long were you seeing her before being ghosted?

when you see some chick you haven't seen in almost a decade sent you a few messages months ago on a social media platform you haven't used in forever saying she needs your help....and you are just reading it.

well i looked her up on FB.
she's still alive.

sooo guess she don't need my help.

Lol she’s probably been hacked brah
Or crazy
Or both

She wants the pork and beans.

So here’s one thing I struggle with lately. Was out of the game for a long time until a relationship ended, and the past couple years since then I’ve been dating I haven’t figured this out. Just feel more clueless on this subject than I should be.

How long typically do you guys wait progress into an actual official relationship when dating a girl (who is on apps). I realize it can be different for everyone. But I feel my approach is sometimes unhealthy when I start liking a girl. When I start to like someone after 4-5 dates that went well, I start overthinking and wondering when I should ask her to be official, or if I should just simply keep pursuing and dating her without bringing it up. I start to also get paranoid that it’s taking too long and worrying that she’s seeing other guys and I’m wasting my time.

This is sort of happening now with the girl I’ve been seeing lately. She said she’s looking for a relationship but I’ve seen a couple small signs she’s playing the field and it kind of feels like she’s just having fun. I also think I sometimes jump to those conclusions when it’s possible she wants to be with me officially. But I can tell she gets excited so far when I make plans with her (besides the one time she didn’t text me back and apologized next day, she was also working a lot that day and tired)

I’m going on a 5th date with her thurs, just a hike at a trail I suggested. I don’t really want to rush things and bring up exclusivity because I want to let things flow naturally, but eventually I might want to ask her. At that point if she agreed I’d obviously want to get us both off the apps.

Any advice on the timeline of these types of scenarios and how to let things flow naturally but also not wait too long?

From my experience, women have always been the ones to bring up being in a relationship and I just assumed it was their territory to move forward in that way if they were interested, even if I was ready sooner. Not sure if it works any other way considering the dynamics, until then, you just kind of go with the flow.

Women also made it VERY apparent they wanted that too with me specifically so there was never a question or doubt.

most likely.
wouldn't be the first time a chick reached out yrs later looking for some dink.

her FB says she is married.
pass.

LOL. She asks you for help before asking her husband.

pretty much.
I learned the hard way not to invest too much in one woman when she wasn't wanting me all to herself.

I decided if they are still playing the field I was still playing the field.
when they didn't like that i simply asked "are you my GF?"

they usually shut up after that and things either became official or fell apart.

You can be exclusive/monogamous without the "official BF/GF" title.

IMO it's not needy to bring that up after 5 dates and already having slept together. While you're likely overly concerned about playing it cool, the reality is that if she's not ready for that then she's just not the one for you, at least not at this point in her life.

Thanks for your take and notes on your experience with similar scenarios. I don’t want to bring it up with her too soon because I don’t want to put pressure on her. If she likes me and wants to be together I’ll find out soon enough. I do think women with a lot of options are just willing to wait longer and be courted, not always but sometimes. If I don’t get strong inclination that she’s thinking about a relationship with me soon I’ll likely bring it up or move on. She also got out of a 4 year relationship 7 months ago, and she told me he called her recently when he was looking for some personal items, so I know that could mean nothing but he also may not be over her. She strikes me as an honest person and has told me she’s realized she wants to move on from him. I know she’s obviously getting attention from the apps too. Hate that but oh well. I’m taking to other girls too but only really able to think about her lately.
I may bring up a couple comments she’s made on our upcoming date that gave me pause, because a couple comments about dating sort of contradict her original statements about being a relationship type girl and only looking for that. I want to hear and see her response and also let her know it gave me pause.

4 dates 2 smashes

Makes sense. I know I should be keeping my options open. She’s not showing much urgency at all yet. She’s a very busy girl with hobbies and works a lot which I consider a positive, but I do think if she sees a potential future with me she could step up her game a bit and show me serious interest.

Fair points brah. I’m not going to hook up with her again without bringing up being exclusive physically at least. Right now I’m leaning towards enjoying this hike date and learning more about her, while bringing up a couple concerns that stuck with me.
I also haven’t mentioned here yet that we haven’t added one another on ig yet. There’s a ton to learn about her still from seeing that and it’s always a possibility there will be dealbreakers on her ig, for me. Her profile is private but I noticed she posts a ton. Kind of ridiculous it says she has almost 1k posts. However it’s the world we live in and I think it’s possible I won’t be shocked by anything I see. My reasoning is she’s very family and business oriented, she has a bit of ADD I can tell. But it will be interesting. I think I’ll follow her this weekend and see what’s up.

She’s finding any old excuse to speak to you. There’s clearly someone else who could have helped her that’s been in her life for last ten years.

Keep an eye on that. It’s not healthy behaviour unless she comes clean out and says she wants the pork and beans.

I’ve seen it a few times. Worst was when one claimed she was sexually assaulted. Now I don’t know if it was true we have to assume it was. Found excuses why she couldn’t speak to her sister, mom, dad, best friend etc.

I spoke to her Sister given the level of concern and let her deal with it. Although Sister was less willing to give the benefit of the doubt and reckons she just said stuff to get a reaction.

Bad juju!

Agree with this. I won't have sex with someone if it's not exclusive. Doesn't mean we have to be considered bf/gf the first time we have sex but its what we're both aiming for down the road.

If you're not seeing clear interest through their actions then I think it's time to say something and figure out what they're looking for. People can talk all day about what they're interested in but if their actions show the opposite then that's what you have to listen to.

InsanePain, maybe bring it up as you think it would be best to be exclusive so that you two can figure out if there is something there without the interference of others. It's a valid and reasonable concern.

Thanks Legz. Yeah I definitely am considering it. I don’t want to waste time or not be appreciated if she’s still at a stage where she wants to hook up with more than one person at a time. At first I thought she was strictly a relationship girl (had a nice bio and seems down to earth, sweet, loyal) but the first time we made out at her place, we were watching some Netflix show about some dbag guy online collecting nudes and she casually mentioned while drinking wine that she’d send nudes maybe online.. total wtf moment and lead me to believe maybe she isn’t what I’m looking for. She does seem to have some good loyal qualities, like she adamantly said she’ll never be a cheater in a relationship but the nudes comment was a wtf moment..and My intuition says she’s honest. btw she has little filter in general and a bit ADD like I said. Other than that totally fun, pretty sweet, slightly conceited which I dislike but nobody is perfect. Family oriented, similar music taste, I’m attracted to her, she has a funny goofy side which I love, seems like we’re politically aligned which is rare for me.

Ah damn that's actually pretty brutal.
Did you see relationship potential or were there red flags?Kind of interested to see what she posts if she posts that much.
How many followers does she have/would being active on IG be beneficial for her line of work?

Yea we shall see. Seems a bit much with the posting.
She has 1.3k followers and follows about the same.
Here’s the thing, she runs a side business sell clothes and she has another ig for that. (I actually think her side hustle is cool)
So I’m guessing her main one is all personal. She also had one for her dog lol (there are a couple photos with her ex still on there) She has a sister who is almost the same age and similar, who has an IG NOT on private, and she posts a lot too but not quite as much. It’s mostly friends, family, occasional parties, events, pets, travel etc.

I don't have IG so maybe a dumb question, but isn't that a lot of followers especially considering her IG is private? It obviously isn't just people she knows IRL.

Not a dumb question. It’s not really a ton these days, many people especially girls can get follows quickly, I bet her profile used to be public (like her sisters is). However it’s more than a lot of people who are subtle on there, don’t post a ton, and only have friends added. I think her sister has been on there for several years so I’m guessing that’s same for her. She’s also an outgoing and extroverted person who has lived in a couple states (her family’s home and now where I’m at)

So yea, I’d guess she has had a bunch of dudes follow her combined with friends over the years. With the apps and ig and all the simps out there following girls, it’s not something I’m in love with. But it’s part of society and so many girls have a ton of followers.

From what I’ve seen so far she doesn’t dress too revealing for the most part, which is more than I can say for most girls these days. But we’ll see when I add her, I’m sure there will be a couple surprises to look forward to lol.

Yeah, it'll be interesting once you see her IG. That'a a lot of posts.