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[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III
06-17-2020, 06:57 AM
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#7681
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Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
The problem I see with this is that it’s too reductionist.It's all chemical. If I'm doing work stuff when my mood is very low, I couldn't give a fukk about it. It's just a chore to get through. Same with everything really. But then if you take something like ********, suddenly everything you do is super interesting and enjoyable. So it's nothing to do with the task or activity itself which remains the same, it's just what's going on in your brain.
I think that whatever you’re doing massively influences the brain, but drugs can act as a sort of ‘hack’.
For example, if I go out at night to a noisy club/bar, and I remain sober, then i’m in for a bad time. But if I have a drink or two, I find the environment much more tolerable and dare I say it even enjoyable.
Maybe the future of humanity is to take drugs to help us do undesirable/enjoyable things that need doing, and perhaps in moderation this will be okay, but if it becomes a ‘way of life’ then I can’t help but think we’ve slipped up somewhere.
06-17-2020, 07:18 AM
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#7682
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Keep trying to reply to alltrap and getting Access Denied. Yet I can post this. Not sure what's going on.
Will try to break up response into two posts.
Everything you say makes sense brah. I can only hope that things improve for you in the key areas you mentioned above and always here to chat if you feel like it.
Will try to break up response into two posts.
Everything you say makes sense brah. I can only hope that things improve for you in the key areas you mentioned above and always here to chat if you feel like it.
06-17-2020, 07:20 AM
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#7683
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As for that woman that killed herself, she was an Insolvency Partner at the law firm and this went down immediately after the financial crisis. She would have been completely inundated with work and under huge pressure from her Clients and other partners at the firm. My guess is that she got completely overwhelmed to the point where she felt like the walls were closing in on her. Thinking rationally she would have realised that she had the financial means to take time off and focus on her mental health. It is absolutely what I would do now because of the experiences I have had with depression.
But, during my first (and maybe worst) episode of depression I was sitting exams and I felt completely trapped, like the exams were life and death so even though I was in absolutely no state to be taking exams, i put more and more pressure on myself to keep studying and get through them. It made me worse and worse until I snapped completely. I simply lost all sense of perspective.
But, during my first (and maybe worst) episode of depression I was sitting exams and I felt completely trapped, like the exams were life and death so even though I was in absolutely no state to be taking exams, i put more and more pressure on myself to keep studying and get through them. It made me worse and worse until I snapped completely. I simply lost all sense of perspective.
06-17-2020, 07:21 AM
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#7684
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Suicide is always going to be a very emotive issue and some people are always going to feel that it's somewhat selfish, especially when kids are involved.
That said, imagine the worse physical pain you have ever been in (I'm not sure if you have ever been in unbearable pain or not - if you haven't, then imagine being tortured). Then imagine that there is no painkiller (bearing in mind that antidepressants, even if they work take weeks to kick in). How long could you stand that pain for before you simply had no choice but to take your own life?
We all have our limits but for every one of us there is a point at which we simply cannot tolerate a certain level of pain for an indefinite amount of time. I'm not saying that every person that has killed themselves has been at that level of pain and I agree that for some people who commit suicide it may have been done for 'silly', selfish reasons, like wanting to punish somebody that they are angry with, etc. But for others I do feel that they endured life as long as they could and, despite not wanting to die, simply could not go on anymore.
On the drugs point you're right and I'm not suggesting that drugs are the way forward at all. I have just tried so so many times to get by without taking anything at all and I always end up in the same dark place in spite of making every effort do do things 'right' in terms of lifestyle, etc.
That said, imagine the worse physical pain you have ever been in (I'm not sure if you have ever been in unbearable pain or not - if you haven't, then imagine being tortured). Then imagine that there is no painkiller (bearing in mind that antidepressants, even if they work take weeks to kick in). How long could you stand that pain for before you simply had no choice but to take your own life?
We all have our limits but for every one of us there is a point at which we simply cannot tolerate a certain level of pain for an indefinite amount of time. I'm not saying that every person that has killed themselves has been at that level of pain and I agree that for some people who commit suicide it may have been done for 'silly', selfish reasons, like wanting to punish somebody that they are angry with, etc. But for others I do feel that they endured life as long as they could and, despite not wanting to die, simply could not go on anymore.
On the drugs point you're right and I'm not suggesting that drugs are the way forward at all. I have just tried so so many times to get by without taking anything at all and I always end up in the same dark place in spite of making every effort do do things 'right' in terms of lifestyle, etc.
06-17-2020, 07:22 AM
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#7685
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Sorry about the multiple posts. It wouldn't let me post all in one go for some reason. No idea why.
06-17-2020, 08:03 AM
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#7686
- hidingwithmusic
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Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
I got nothing from taking wellbutrin. It sucked... I even still had suicidal thoughts the whole time.Taking a failed SSRI for me was literally like taking a sugar pill. No side effects but no beneficial effects either. Did you get any effects from Wellbutrin? The first few days for me I was pretty much hypomanic, was like being on an amphetamine. Unfortunately that wore off after a few days then it did nothing.
06-17-2020, 08:10 AM
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#7687
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Originally Posted By hidingwithmusic⏩
I agree, that for me at least, it sucked. Those first few days of energy were great and gave me an insight into hypomania but after that, nothing.I got nothing from taking wellbutrin. It sucked... I even still had suicidal thoughts the whole time.
Am really hoping that Nardil does something. I think I'm starting to notice some beneficial effects from it (4 weeks in but only 2 weeks at my current dose). The only side effect so far is crazy orthostatic hypotension. Have fallen over a couple of times getting up during the night.
06-17-2020, 08:17 AM
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#7688
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Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
The website has a character limit that causes an error, and it includes quoted text. Snipping quotes is the most effective way around it, or ultimately just double postingKeep trying to reply to alltrap and getting Access Denied. Yet I can post this. Not sure what's going on.
Will try to break up response into two posts.
Everything you say makes sense brah. I can only hope that things improve for you in the key areas you mentioned above and always here to chat if you feel like it.
Will try to break up response into two posts.
Everything you say makes sense brah. I can only hope that things improve for you in the key areas you mentioned above and always here to chat if you feel like it.
Originally Posted By alltrapbrah⏩
The culture is garbage and rejects our tribal origins to an extreme. I've always felt there are some things that can be garnered from the University setting. Most people agree that some of the best times of their lives were during that stretch. The common elements are living in proximity to close friends, frequent shared experiences, more leisure time, and the availability of diverse recreational activities.Maybe the future of humanity is to take drugs to help us do undesirable/enjoyable things that need doing, and perhaps in moderation this will be okay, but if it becomes a ‘way of life’ then I can’t help but think we’ve slipped up somewhere.
After college, suddenly the only thing anyone chases is money and possessions, having the best dwelling (that almost nobody visits), and chasing career status. The educated barely even have children anymore, so it's even more nihilistic and pointless.
06-17-2020, 08:20 AM
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#7689
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
Ah thanks so much, that's why! Appreciate the heads up.The website has a character limit that causes an error, and it includes quoted text. Snipping quotes is the most effective way around it, or ultimately just double posting
06-17-2020, 01:51 PM
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#7690
I get so bored at work from the monotony I almost cry. So embarrassing when people try to talk to me. I cant control it though its just so depressing slaving away without a purpose. Idk how the hell people stay in a good mood doing the same tasks over and over. Everyone I work with is on **** though nicotine, ********, monsters and other stuff.
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06-17-2020, 07:50 PM
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#7691
06-18-2020, 05:11 PM
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#7692
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
do u live alone man?I get so bored at work from the monotony I almost cry. So embarrassing when people try to talk to me. I cant control it though its just so depressing slaving away without a purpose. Idk how the hell people stay in a good mood doing the same tasks over and over. Everyone I work with is on **** though nicotine, ********, monsters and other stuff.
Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
smoked alot green since corona started.just smoked and feel worse than ever
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06-18-2020, 05:52 PM
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#7693
06-18-2020, 05:58 PM
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#7694
Originally Posted By ButcherSir⏩
Nah i live with my GF but we have been together for over 6 years and there is no spark. And she is a liberal. There is nothing to do lol. Just wish i had someone to play video games with or go walk on the trail or something.do u live alone man?
smoked alot green since corona started.
smoked alot green since corona started.
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06-18-2020, 08:22 PM
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#7695
Is anyone here just the quiet guy at work that doesn't fit in with the other people or politics so its just really awkward?
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06-19-2020, 05:14 AM
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#7696
- alltrapbrah
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Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
Yea I can picture something like that being the case, but I still reckon she was overly self-involved. As a rule, I think that unhappy people have a self-involved inclination. This is something that very much dawns on me when I think about my life as a child versus my life as an adult. My happiness has waned since childhood, and there are many reasons for that, but one of the more interesting reasons is that I am far more self-involved now than I ever was as a child.As for that woman that killed herself, she was an Insolvency Partner at the law firm and this went down immediately after the financial crisis. She would have been completely inundated with work and under huge pressure from her Clients and other partners at the firm. My guess is that she got completely overwhelmed to the point where she felt like the walls were closing in on her. Thinking rationally she would have realised that she had the financial means to take time off and focus on her mental health. It is absolutely what I would do now because of the experiences I have had with depression.
Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
You see this is an interesting example for me, because it doesn't read like depression (at least as I see it). I suggest this because your 'depression' acted as a driving force, in that it got you to continually study and take action, which is not something I associate with depression. It sounds more akin to fear/anxiety. Btw, I'm not saying that you did not have depression, but just that I cannot quite wrap my head around this particular example.But, during my first (and maybe worst) episode of depression I was sitting exams and I felt completely trapped, like the exams were life and death so even though I was in absolutely no state to be taking exams, i put more and more pressure on myself to keep studying and get through them. It made me worse and worse until I snapped completely. I simply lost all sense of perspective.
06-19-2020, 05:28 AM
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#7697
- alltrapbrah
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
Yea i'll agree with that. The way we live in the first world definitely breeds mental illness. I think tribes/communities have been slowly dying for a while now, but the family unit was holding relatively strong. Now, or more recently rather, the family unit is breaking down, and that's going to be the final nail in the coffin.The culture is garbage and rejects our tribal origins to an extreme. I've always felt there are some things that can be garnered from the University setting. Most people agree that some of the best times of their lives were during that stretch. The common elements are living in proximity to close friends, frequent shared experiences, more leisure time, and the availability of diverse recreational activities.
After college, suddenly the only thing anyone chases is money and possessions, having the best dwelling (that almost nobody visits), and chasing career status. The educated barely even have children anymore, so it's even more nihilistic and pointless.
After college, suddenly the only thing anyone chases is money and possessions, having the best dwelling (that almost nobody visits), and chasing career status. The educated barely even have children anymore, so it's even more nihilistic and pointless.
06-19-2020, 05:32 AM
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#7698
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Thanks man I really appreciate your comments. I maybe didn't describe the episode clearly because it was catastrophic depression. It started out as stress and anxiety which motivated me to study but it became overwhelming and one day I snapped. All the stress and anxiety became this enormous depression. I was an absolute zombie. My Mother was having to drive me to exams. It's the worst I've ever felt and I just didn't know what was going on, it was so far out of the realm of normal human experience. Prior to that I had had ordinary periods of feeling moody and getting down about things but this was something else altogether.
On the suicide point, I don't know. I'm not saying you don't have a point, I just have enormous sympathy for people that kill themselves. Things have to be really, really bad. Most of us are scared of death and our greatest instinct is survival so to kill yourself is something that runs contrary to all of that. Virginia Woolf walked into a river with rocks in her pocket. It's just a horrifying image to me. Again, not really disagreeing with anything your saying and it's good to have this conversation.
On the suicide point, I don't know. I'm not saying you don't have a point, I just have enormous sympathy for people that kill themselves. Things have to be really, really bad. Most of us are scared of death and our greatest instinct is survival so to kill yourself is something that runs contrary to all of that. Virginia Woolf walked into a river with rocks in her pocket. It's just a horrifying image to me. Again, not really disagreeing with anything your saying and it's good to have this conversation.
06-19-2020, 06:02 AM
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#7699
Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
I'm quiet at work but people come and talk to me. It helps to be good at your job and contribute a lot and people will like you even if you're an autist. I have been invited to hang out outside of work even if I just sit there quietly the whole time. But I don't know if this would happen if I was in my 30s.Is anyone here just the quiet guy at work that doesn't fit in with the other people or politics so its just really awkward?
06-19-2020, 08:53 AM
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#7700
Theres just nothing you can do as a loner male. A woman will find someone by default. Its just nobody really cares about men or will judge them or think they are creepy or whatever
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06-19-2020, 08:57 AM
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#7701
Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
Exact same here man. Ppl want to talk to me and I get invited to lunches and stuff but I never talk. I never relate to people or can't keep up with them socially. I legit never talk man. I just work all day and might say a few words and go homeI'm quiet at work but people come and talk to me. It helps to be good at your job and contribute a lot and people will like you even if you're an autist. I have been invited to hang out outside of work even if I just sit there quietly the whole time. But I don't know if this would happen if I was in my 30s.
All of my coworkers are either 22 or 43-65 so there's nobody I would hang out with anyways.
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06-19-2020, 09:03 AM
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#7702
And normies somehow always manage to stay in a good mood or don't get bored of conversations. They know how to talk about anything. My mood is constantly changing. If I get bored or annoyed with something I just want to isolate for a couple hours
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06-19-2020, 09:10 AM
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#7703
- ButcherSir
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
lol are u srs?! u got a long term gf? a job? tall? big dink?Nah i live with my GF but we have been together for over 6 years and there is no spark. And she is a liberal. There is nothing to do lol. Just wish i had someone to play video games with or go walk on the trail or something.
why u so depressed.
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06-19-2020, 11:39 AM
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#7704
Originally Posted By ButcherSir⏩
A lot of thingslol are u srs?! u got a long term gf? a job? tall? big dink?
why u so depressed.
why u so depressed.
I dont talk. There's just nothing to talk about with people these days so it results in extreme loneliness
When I'm around people at work I just hear them talking about other people or food and stuff like that. Its pointless
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06-19-2020, 05:30 PM
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#7705
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So tired of never feeling normal. This **** sucks where I just have too many health problems to ever feel normal again. I think when the virus isn’t anywhere as bad anymore that I’ll start going to doctors again to see if they can try to help me. I don’t know what else to do.
06-19-2020, 05:37 PM
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#7706
Originally Posted By BigTimePlayer⏩
Telling you man if you aren't getting affection from a woman or have a connection so you can do hobbies with people you will be depressed. I've been to the doctor 55 times and nothing works. It's just a waste of money.So tired of never feeling normal. This **** sucks where I just have too many health problems to ever feel normal again. I think when the virus isn’t anywhere as bad anymore that I’ll start going to doctors again to see if they cab try to help me. I don’t know what else to do.
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06-19-2020, 06:44 PM
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#7707
made some changes in my life the past few months and was starting to feel better but i broke my ankle last week and completely tore ligaments in it and have to have surgery in a few days. Feel like chit now and have no appetite
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06-20-2020, 12:30 PM
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#7708
I just never feel right. I have major internet addiction or ADHD or something. I will just feel off all day until later at night but it's like i don't want to do anything irl anymore. Wish i knew what is wrong with me or how to fix it.
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06-20-2020, 01:09 PM
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#7709
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Woke up today just wanting to give up. Not sure what to do anymore. What I’m doing now isn’t living just existing. I feel so dead inside everyday.
06-21-2020, 05:08 AM
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#7710
- alltrapbrah
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Originally Posted By MrDevereaux⏩
I too have a great deal of compassion (well above average, according to most personality tests) for people who take their own lives, but I also yearn to develop a greater understanding of the issue. Suicide is obviously the extreme end of human unhappiness, and I was making a broader point about the correlation between self-involvement and human happiness.On the suicide point, I don't know. I'm not saying you don't have a point, I just have enormous sympathy for people that kill themselves. Things have to be really, really bad. Most of us are scared of death and our greatest instinct is survival so to kill yourself is something that runs contrary to all of that. Virginia Woolf walked into a river with rocks in her pocket. It's just a horrifying image to me. Again, not really disagreeing with anything your saying and it's good to have this conversation.
If you take an inventory of the people you know decently well, and give them a rating on 1) happiness and 2) self-involvement, I would not be at all surprised if you found that your most self-involved friends were the least happy.
Note: Although happiness is somewhat easy to gauge, self-involvement can be a little trickier. Many people are externally focused, but for self-serving reasons, which is a type of self-involvement. The man (or woman) who is genuinely interested in the outside world will become lost in it, to the point he forgets him/herself.
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