Think I had Covid or something, also always dealing with some kind of minor health issue seemingly. Not sure what that’s about. Have good days and bad days health-wise. I guess that’s normal?


Still making progress in strength so I guess that’s a good sign? I’m not dying?






Used to be able to bench 365x5!!!! But was 25 lbs heavier and had been lifting continuously for like 4 years. Right now I’ve only been back lifting for like 8 months so progress is pretty good.


Still not drinking. That’s the main thing. As long as I don’t fail in that, everything else is secondary.

Have doctors appointments all scheduled for January. Hope they all go well.


Moved into a new apartment, nicer than my last one. Quieter.

90 days down.

Excellent! How are you feeling? Is sobriety getting easier/more normal for you?

Some days I’m good, some days I’m not.

Iv been stressing out a lot lately and need some relief, not sure where to get it.

Ideally I’d like to hit the gym. If I am lucky I can hit the gym once or twice a week.
However,
I am down about 25 pounds in the last two months; Iv been eating at a deficit.

That stressing out chit is normal boyo, it goes away.

Sometimes it’s just the natural reaction to actually dealing with your anxious thoughts instead of numbing them down.

It’s OK to feel anxious, address the things that are making you feel anxious.

Down 25 lbs good job man

Sorry to hear about getting sick, that ****ing sucks. Especially when it ruins your exercise and self care routine! Killer lifts, damn you're strong! And congrats on the new apartment! Definitely a worthwhile reward for your continued sobriety!Congrats on the 90 days!I feel ya man, the first several months of recovery is tough because that motivation to stay sober can take a hit and also sometimes we forget about the negative consequences of our use and lapse/relapse. Nice work on the 25lb loss! Have you ever tried meditation or guided meditation? It's a good mindfulness technique that can be pretty helpful with stress. Also, writing in a journal can be a really good way to get thoughts and feelings out of your head and onto a different medium. That's what I have been doing with my Youtube videos; it is essentially a way to journal, but in video format!

Awesome man! On spread.

First time I went to rehab (only time) 10 years ago or so. I was first introduced to yoga and meditation and it was pretty cool.

Me and my wife will do yoga sometimes but it’s more of that exercise style yoga:

I know I should journal I just don’t know how to start. Maybe that’s a lie, maybe I know journaling will bring the “feels”

I’m also paranoid someone would find my journal.

Well maybe check out some guided meditation videos on Youtube. I like guided meditation over regular meditation because putting on headphones, laying in bed with my eyes closed, and listening to the person guiding you is super easy. And that's a legit concern, maybe you can do it electronically and save it to a passworded thumb drive or something. And there's no proper way to start, it is just whatever you want it to be. You could start writing about how your day has been and then you might start thinking of some feelings or emotions and write about that!

Bros we all gotta realize the good things that we have:

Family/Friends

Roof over head

Food in belly

Place to sleep

Internet (lol)


Gotta remind myself of this when I start getting dissatisfied with life. Could be way fukin worse and we’ve ALL, every one of us, been there and it’s because of drugs and/or booze.

Just enjoy being sober, it’s way fukin better than the alternative (hospital, mental hospital, prison or dead)

All that being said I had a good workout today

Good post.

I started a gratitude journal a couple of weeks ago, and counting all of my blessings and being thankful for what I have has made a positive impact already -- and I'm just starting small by trying to list only 3 things a day at a minimum.

I agree 100%! Practicing gratitude is such a valuable skill! It definitely helps to keep me positive.That sounds awesome, although I personally like to practice gratitude more casually, like going over things I'm grateful in my head, every day. Usually upon waking up and also before bed time. There is a lot to be grateful for!

Anyone doing the whole make amends thing?

I haven't made or been making direct amends specifically, but I have incorporated living amends into my recovery. So, the way that I have been making amends in my recovery have been by living the best life that I can and to then go on to help others as best as I can. Of course, if possible, I want to apologize and do what I can to make up for my past ****ty behavior to specific people, but I don't formally work that step of AA, like writing it down or anything.

Is that something that you have been doing or wanting to do? On that note, have you been working or are interested in working on the other steps of AA. I know that for some people, working the steps with the help of their sponsor is very beneficial to their recovery and sense of well being.




I hope everyone has been having a solid weekend so far! This week has been a lot better for me than the previous week and a half. I don't know if I was actually sick, but it felt like I was fighting off some sort of bug (most everyone in our sober living house has been sick). As a result, I had been feeling really drained mentally and physically to the point of missing out on about 10 days worth of workouts. However, I've been finally feeling better and got back into the gym on Wednesday and have worked out daily since. It reminds me to be grateful of being in good health and being able to workout, so I need to take full advantage of that while I can!

I was first introduced to AA but i am kinda coming around to thinking maybe NA is more my route. I have an addictive personality I just tend to switch things up.

Part of me really wants to work the step, I just can’t find the time.

Joey88 has some really good ideas for recovery programs other than AA/NA.

Both of those work great for a lot of people, but they aren’t for everyone.

(final) bender ended sunday evening
went through the insomnia hell
now my equilibrium is still off and i feel nauseous
how many more days would you guess until i'm feeling somewhat normal

Bought a bunch of pocket notebooks, gonna start mini-journaling, kinda looks like an old school little black book.

Acute physical withdrawal would be around 4-7 days and then post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) can last as long as a few years, although it is much more manageable than the acute physical withdrawal symptoms.Hell yeah, that's awesome! I'm glad you got yourself the supplies and hopefully you have already put it into action! Let us know how it goes!

Speaking of journaling, it has been a while since I've made a YT video. I might make one today although I don't have anything specific to talk about lol. Not that anyone probably cares that much, but I am open to suggestions for topics of what you think would make for a good recovery video. Otherwise, I probably will just do a recap video and go over what has happened and everything that I am grateful for.

And how are ya'll doing? I hope that it has been a good weekend for everyone and have been able to have some fun! Is anyone doing anything for Halloween? I am not going to be doing anything special for Halloween and will not be doing a costume.

Not sure if you ever posted ITT before this but you should keep doing so.

Hope you find success mang, life is better when you’re not a slave to this poison.





Joey, you should make a video addressing questions or topics that come up ITT that would take you too long to write.

Like Ratfish’s questions, maybe you could go into further detail with your answer? Just a thought.

I second the bit about continuing to post here! It's helpful to be able to share and receive support as well as give support.

And that's a good idea! I feel like I should brush up on some information and refresh myself so I could make an accurate video. How is the lifting going? Hitting some more PRs?

right before I hit the 1 year mark, I was going on a multi peak trek in the mountains. Met a girl in the parking lot, shot the sh!t for a few then I headed up the trail. Bumped into her on the 1st summit and we hiked the rest of the way together. Turns out she was 2+ years sober at that point.

Xmas was coming up so we got talking about company parties, and being the only one not drinking. She was toying with the idea of just having one, and that she'd been sober long enough that it would be ok. She never did over the holidays, but come spring time, she fell off the face of the planet.

Fast forward a few months and I get a random text from her wanting to meet up for coffee. Turns out she got into the drinks on Mother's day, and it snowballed bad. Lost her apartment, lost her job (at a law firm), lost her fiance and got an OUI. She's been clean for 1 month and living in a sober house now.

WTF, I don't even know what to say. Flushed everything down the toilet in less than two months. Good for her for getting clean again, but fack. Had to be 10x as hard to quit with all those stresses going on.


I think I'll stay on the sober train

Ratfish I hope you toughed it out bro.

I promise you life is so much more beautiful when you are not viewing it through a bottle.

You can do this if you want it bad enough but remember this and don't let this be a reason to mess up but just knos you are only human and when and if you do backslide one day dont let it destroy your progress. You get back up and start swinging again. Never go back to that life but when you slip and fall don't stay down.


If you aren't working out start you a program ASAP. Even if it's just push ups and ab work for now with lots of walking. It's a first step Ratbones.

Pretty happy with this one:



Nowhere near, even in the same realm as when I was at my strongest but it’s progress

It's crazy how fast a lapse or relapse can spiral out of control! It doesn't always happen, but when it does, it can get bad!Damn, well still a hell of a lot stronger than me! lol

Had one of my lowest weeks since I stopped drinking. Sometimes everything hits me. How I ruined my life, my finances, my relationships, how I have nothing and it’s my fault. Had a rough week at work. It’s darker all the time. I just want to lay in bed. My thoughts are so negative, I hate the way I feel. I hate my appearance, how I sound, how my face looks, how I act, everything about me. This is a pathetic existence. I want to isolate myself. I can’t control my emotions. I can’t keep track of anything. My memory is shot. I don’t have any desires or interests. I’m not me anymore. My family has to realize that.

Coming up on one year. It went by fast and I have nothing to show for it. Nothing. Let’s just do this 20 more times and get this show over with. This is going to be painful. Jesus Christ.

Don't give up man, keep your head up.

Just got out of a 5 day detox and then 90 day in patient rehab

Today marks my fourth month, clean and sober. Went out last night with my wife, she had a glass of some wine, I had a glass of sparkling water. Things are slowly aligning it’s been a long road, I say i am four months clean, but this journey started almost two decades ago.

Iv taken a deep hard look into myself and the root of addiction, and I believe my problems stems from wanting instant gratification, I want to feel good now, and if I have to use people, places or things to do that I will.

But I am learning when I choose the path of instant gratification the price is always the destruction of my future.

I’m not where I want to be, but I am willing to now put in the work to get there, and not take shortcuts.

I’m at a point now where I believe we need to be getting help and giving help, and providing services to our community.

There’s always going to be stuff to cry about, so if you want to be in business of wiping tears away, business is booming.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through it. It really is tough when you look back and think about all of the **** you ****ed up, especially if you are also comparing yourself to others who are seemingly doing well, like having a house, family, etc. I believe that in times like these it is especially important to practice gratitude. I know that that is easier said than done when you are feeling the way that you are feeling. Try to think of and express gratitude for what you do have: better health, much better strength and fitness, being alive, having a job, having a place to live, having food to eat, etc.

I also find it helpful to remind myself that these challenging feelings and thoughts are only temporary; there will be better times and I just have to get through this now. It can be helpful to lean on your natural supports a bit more; reach out to friends and family, go to some meetings, and even posting on here is a bit of support. I hope that you can give yourself lots of credit and recognize that almost hitting a year of sobriety is a huge deal. Not many people in recovery get to hit that milestone! And I can say that it does get better as you gain more time in recovery. I feel a lot better at 19 months of sobriety than I did at 12 months. I'm sure other people with longer recovery time will agree. Is there anything that I or we can do to help support you?Hell yea, nice job brah! So you did the 5 day detox and are now going into inpatient? Or you did the detox and also finished inpatient? Either way, you are on the path to success. Those first few days and weeks are especially tough. Keep us updated!Congratulations on the four months clean! I agree with you that a huge part of my addiction was influenced by my need and desire for instant gratification. It was like, why feel bad or depressed, or anxious when you can just drink and/or use! And of course I also would choose the easier and quicker option for pleasure at the cost of the long term goals, like eating poorly or not going to the gym. We definitely **** ourselves over when we choose the option of now versus making some sacrifice and working hard, which pays off much better in the long term.

I agree with the crying bit and I think it is good to recognize that feelings and emotions are going to occasionally hit like a ton of bricks in early recovery (and later in recovery too although I feel it gets better) because we avoided those feelings and emotions through the use of drugs and alcohol. So, without those, we are going to express feelings and emotions that we haven't felt strongly for a long time. By recognizing that this is going to happen throughout recovery and life, we can work on coping mechanisms to work through those feelings and thoughts in a healthy, sustainable way. Like doing guided meditation when I'm anxious, instead of drinking. It definitely is a daily practice, but it does pay off later with more stable emotions and allowing yourself to feel those emotions instead of hiding from them.