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Thread: Matches have pretty much died ²

post 1618045921 09-30-2020, 02:33 PM
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#8851
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
It is worse. I've seen women try to explain the situation where they do all the freaky stuff with other guys and then don't want to with the "better catch" and it never makes any sense. If it was something they just tried once and didn't like then I could understand but if they do it multiple times with multiple other guys then that excuse doesn't work.

In all likelihood they don't find the "better catch" as attractive or sexually arousing as the guys she was with in the past
Pretty much which is why alot of women marry dudes they're not physically and sexually attracted to but they got other qualities that make them a suitable mate like money, status, a good listener, a nice person, gives them alot of attention and someone they can boss around.

I can read people fairly well and I can tell the couples in public that generally like each other over the ones that don't. For one if a girl really likes you, she's gonna be real touchy feely. If your girl ain't touching you alot or at all? Dawg she ain't into you sexually.

Regardless it ain't my problem if dudes keep trying to get into relationships with women by a certain age that don't really care for them. If they don't properly vet women for an extended period of time then that's on them.
post 1618045991 09-30-2020, 02:34 PM
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#8852
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
It is worse. I've seen women try to explain the situation where they do all the freaky stuff with other guys and then don't want to with the "better catch" and it never makes any sense. If it was something they just tried once and didn't like then I could understand but if they do it multiple times with multiple other guys then that excuse doesn't work.

In all likelihood they don't find the "better catch" as attractive or sexually arousing as the guys she was with in the past
I think it's because deep down women know that being perceived as slutty is not the best path to gaining commitment. Even the sluttiest that rail against slut shaming, will tend to behave with some perceived class when trying to get commitment from a decent guy. I've witnessed it IRL. It's the classic "I'll make this guy wait 3 dates because I really like him" stuff.

There may also be a sexual arousement component to it, but I suspect it's more indirect and nuanced (unless the guy is clearly an unattractive beta chump). If the girl is with a guy she finds attractive but sees zero future with, she can feel more liberated as a sexual object. That itself can turn her on.

I reckon it may be partially true for some guys too. If you're ****ing a complete slut that you know is never going to get serious, you may be more objectifying and derive a different sort of pleasure, as opposed to the pleasure you derive from a partner you care about more intimately.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1618046041 09-30-2020, 02:34 PM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
In all likelihood they don't find the "better catch" as attractive or sexually arousing as the guys she was with in the past
I'm sure that's common enough, but I'd also wonder if it's an ego thing (she doesn't want to see herself as a sloot/wants to leave her slooting behind).

The way she justifies it so poorly ("no because you're my *boyfriend*") also makes it seem like dealing with her outside of sex would also be annoying af.
post 1618046501 09-30-2020, 02:39 PM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I think it's because deep down women know that being perceived as slutty is not the best path to gaining commitment. Even the sluttiest that rail against slut shaming, will tend to behave with some perceived class when trying to get commitment from a decent guy. I've witnessed it IRL. It's the classic "I'll make this guy wait 3 dates because I really like him" stuff.

There may also be a sexual arousement component to it, but I suspect it's more indirect and nuanced (unless the guy is clearly an unattractive beta chump). If the girl is with a guy she finds attractive but sees zero future with, she can feel more liberated as a sexual object. That itself can turn her on.

I reckon it may be partially true for some guys too. If you're ****ing a complete slut that you know is never going to get serious, you may be more objectifying and derive a different sort of pleasure, as opposed to the pleasure you derive from a partner you care about more intimately.
Not sure this is the case in the situation mentioned. If this is the path a girl takes she wouldn't let the guy know that she had done those things at all. If the guy knows she's done those things then what is the point of not doing them with him? This situation reeks of "This guy has status/money so I want to settle down with him but am not physically attracted".
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post 1618048041 09-30-2020, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
Not sure this is the case in the situation mentioned. If this is the path a girl takes she wouldn't let the guy know that she had done those things at all. If the guy knows she's done those things then what is the point of not doing them with him? This situation reeks of "This guy has status/money so I want to settle down with him but am not physically attracted".
This.

It's like they respect the boyfriend so little that they want him to feel below her and her past lovers sexually/attraction-wise as a way to manipulate them. Otherwise they'd zip it and hope he never finds out.
& of course the boyfriend might think "hmmm if i just do x, y, and z for her and show her how much she means to me and how bad I want it I bet I'll get it too."
Obviously, the boyfriend never gets what he wants in said scenario.
post 1618049321 09-30-2020, 03:13 PM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
This a point that comes up here repeatedly. It's poor logic to say that just because somethingcouldbe true, means it equivalent. There's a probability assignation here, and I'm making the claim that it's non-negligible.

Sure, in the end it entirely depends on the actual individual person and their character, but I don't have a year to find this out. We all have to apply these shortcuts at some level to evaluate character without investing months or years.

If I could make the differentiation within a few dates? Ye sure. But I think low count is a decent indicator.

Also, I understand that women can and will lie about counts, but I'd like to set that aside for the sake of discussion. I did discover this girls count at 20+, for sure.
Yeah that’s understandable. I’ve went on dates with girls who have had extremely low kill counts but then they’ve slept with me on the first date. To me that says regardless of how low their kill count is you can only base assumptions on a kill count to X amount. I think the thing with me is I don’t really trust anyone because I’ve heard so many different stories told from women in so many ways that I kind of just think to myself whatever they say or however they act is to be taken with a pinch of salt. The only true indicator of the woman you’re with is by her actions....then again that being said she could be perfect then in 20 years lose her marbles and have a gang bang lol.

Taking everything into account would you only date women who have low kill counts? If so why?
post 1618049491 09-30-2020, 03:15 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
This.

It's like they respect the boyfriend so little that they want him to feel below her and her past lovers sexually/attraction-wise as a way to manipulate them. Otherwise they'd zip it and hope he never finds out.
& of course the boyfriend might think "hmmm if i just do x, y, and z for her and show her how much she means to me and how bad I want it I bet I'll get it too."
Obviously, the boyfriend never gets what he wants in said scenario.
I can confirm I’ve been the guy in this scenario. Chitty situation to be in. It was flipped on me by her that “I don’t do any of that anymore because I don’t like doing it anymore you can’t force me into doing this” and played the guilt trip card on me. It was not a good time.
post 1618049891 09-30-2020, 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
One part that disagrees with me about your last statement is the fact that a woman who says that is implying "sex was a priority to me in the past and I thought the best way to fulfill that was by sleeping with many partners/having sex with little to no emotional connection."
& saying she's ready to settle down implies "sex is less of a priority for me now and fulfilling my desires gets in the way of having a relationship that leads to marriage and kids."
IMO the opposite should be true and having a great sex life with your one partner should help lead you to a potential LTR that could result in marriage/kids. Anyone who thinks they're "sacrificing their sex like" in an LTR is destined for failure.
There is often so much more to the story than someone's number itself and how they may refer to past experiences and their current actions/state of mind tells a more complete story.

That being said i believe there are factual studies (which I've seen posted on the misc) that confirm higher kill counts are more likely to negatively affect a woman's ability to have a successful LTR than a man's. There are exceptions to all rules/trends and I don't care to waste my energy shaming/judging anyone but yeah... facts are facts.
I don’t think it’s so much the actions that had the affect on me, it was more so the way it has been said to me in the past that I’ve felt somewhat disrespected and as if this girl is just looking to “settle” with me. I’m not really one for turning someone away with a high kill count. A part of me wouldn’t like it but it is what it is however I truly believe if a girl was to find out about my numbers they wouldn’t take anything I had to say as serious anymore which is the reason I do not tell them of my actual numbers.

However one thing I will judge on is cheating. If I’ve found out a girl has cheated on someone else in the past I am immediately out, no ifs ands or buts. That’s it.
post 1618050851 09-30-2020, 03:36 PM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
Taking everything into account would you only date women who have low kill counts? If so why?
I'd have a strong preference for those women that do not display signs of high promiscuity, let's put it that way. For the reasons I mentioned, with regards assigning a diminished meaning/value to sex.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1618051031 09-30-2020, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
I can confirm I’ve been the guy in this scenario. Chitty situation to be in. It was flipped on me by her that “I don’t do any of that anymore because I don’t like doing it anymore you can’t force me into doing this” and played the guilt trip card on me. It was not a good time.
Wow, even a guy with 40+ count has experienced this.

Can any women chime in on this? And be honest!
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1618051331 09-30-2020, 03:42 PM
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Originally Posted By BlackScorpio91⏩
Pretty much which is why alot of women marry dudes they're not physically and sexually attracted to but they got other qualities that make them a suitable mate like money, status, a good listener, a nice person, gives them alot of attention and someone they can boss around.

I can read people fairly well and I can tell the couples in public that generally like each other over the ones that don't. For one if a girl really likes you, she's gonna be real touchy feely. If your girl ain't touching you alot or at all? Dawg she ain't into you sexually.

Regardless it ain't my problem if dudes keep trying to get into relationships with women by a certain age that don't really care for them. If they don't properly vet women for an extended period of time then that's on them.
I can tell a girl is really into me is when it seems like she'd be willing to walk on hot coal to get to me. You are 100% right.

If she did sexual acts (or other things) with another guy but not me, she's clearly not into me.
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post 1618052381 09-30-2020, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Wow, even a guy with 40+ count has experienced this.

Can any women chime in on this? And be honest!
It’s because they weren’t sexually attracted to me as someone has already said. It’s as simple as that. If I thought a girl was 10/10 the best girl I’ve ever seen in my life I’d suck a fart out her ass but I sure as chit will not do that to a 7/10.
post 1618055201 09-30-2020, 04:28 PM
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#8863
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
Yeah that’s understandable. I’ve went on dates with girls who have had extremely low kill counts but then they’ve slept with me on the first date. To me that says regardless of how low their kill count is you can only base assumptions on a kill count to X amount.I think the thing with me is I don’t really trust anyonebecause I’ve heard so many different stories told from women in so many ways that I kind of just think to myself whatever they say or however they act is to be taken with a pinch of salt. The only true indicator of the woman you’re with is by her actions....then again that being said she could be perfect then in 20 years lose her marbles and have a gang bang lol.

Taking everything into account would you only date women who have low kill counts? If so why?
You don't trust others because you're a liar yourself. lmao
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Wow, even a guy with 40+ count has experienced this.

Can any women chime in on this? And be honest!
I've never done anything with a casual sex partner that I haven't done with a long term partner. I'm the opposite. I've done stuff with that long term partner that I'd never do with a casual encounter.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1618065221 09-30-2020, 06:27 PM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
I lie about my count because women don’t like high numbers. If I told a woman I had a high count she’d think I’m just the type to fuk around and be untrustworthy so it would ruin my chances with something serious with said woman. It’s the same reason women lie about counts really, if you met a 10/10, had perfect personalities that match up perfectly same life goals etc then she turns around and says she’s slept with I dunno 30+ then you’d probably avoid her I imagine because you’re only after low counts. It would blow her chances with you effectively.
Better to just not answer than to lie about it in my opinion. But yes, women lie about it all the time, which is why I never asked. Better to just judge from their behavior and get a feel for it.
Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
You don't wanna marry the town whore but I agree with you. Also, do women really ask you guys your kill counts? No girl has asked me that since I was in my early 20s. After you reach about 20 or so no one keeps up with their kill count or at least I didn't and none of my friends did either
My wife has asked me several times. I just tell her that I don't remember or joke that I waited for her. She replies with, "It must be something high, like 20." Yeah, I'm not going to correct her, lol.
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
You may be my favorite poster.

What I do know is getting through 2/3 more women helped me move past the psychological discomfort a bit. So I figured maybe another 10 would help more. But like you said, probably diminished returns. I'm still probably going to be uncomfortable by a woman with a high count. But I could get past it if she's the right match for sure.
Right back at you man.
Originally Posted By Noliberals4⏩
The count should matter, but what should matter more is if she does things with you she did with other guys/experiements with you.

I was dating a chick about 5 years ago, and she did all things with random guys. Threesomes, BDSM, sex in public, etc. etc. She simply would not do them with me because I was her "boyfriend." That literally caused our break up. How can she say she loves me when she did the fun things with random guys but not me?

If a girl did things with other guys she won't do with you, then that's more of a red flag than the kill count IMO.
Jesus. This is straight out of those red pill comics.
Originally Posted By redliner9⏩
I agree with this and find myself comparing past sexual encounters with the new women I'm dating.

I feel bad about it but I cant seem to drop the mindset.

There was one i really liked recently but she was so bad in bed that I coudn't get past it, like I'm always craving/comparing whatever i had in the past.
I don't miss any of my exes since I'm very happily married, but I do think about the sex sometimes. If you haven't had a cheeseburger in a long time, you're going to think about it even if it's not your favorite food. Think it's just natural.
Originally Posted By BlackScorpio91⏩
I never said anything about marrying the town whore, I'm just saying I'm never concerned about a woman's sexual past cause it doesn't matter.

I care more about if she's clean and how many bfs she's had. If she's been with 18 dudes and all of them were her bfs? To me that's more of a red flag than a woman who's been with 18 dudes but she's only had two bfs and the 16 others were just flings, fuk buddies, FWB, ONS.

Edit: Also I can't even remember the last time a woman has ever asked me how many women I've been with. Women assume I either have a gf or I have multiple women interested in me. And yeah once you get to a certain age, most people assume you're gonna be fuking anyway so it doesn't matter about the killcount.
Yeah, but you're also not looking for a relationship.
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Wow, even a guy with 40+ count has experienced this.
I've had a girl pull that on me once too, but I was very inexperienced then.
post 1618089461 09-30-2020, 11:56 PM
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#8865
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
You don't trust others because you're a liar yourself. lmao
You can’t just highlight one part of the sentence without addressing the rest of it. I said the reason why but you just ignored that bit.
post 1618092821 10-01-2020, 02:00 AM
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#8866
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
You can’t just highlight one part of the sentence without addressing the rest of it. I said the reason why but you just ignored that bit.
That's bullchit. There's no justification for lying about that. Especially not when you're cutting your number by 3/4. lol Just becauseyou thinksomeone else may lie about it doesn't mean you have to. People are liars, they lie about all kinds of things, does that mean you need to lie about everything? So if someone lies to me and cheats on me, does that justify me turning around and lying and cheating on the next guy? No. Of course not.
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post 1618094391 10-01-2020, 02:58 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
That's bullchit. There's no justification for lying about that. Especially not when you're cutting your number by 3/4. lol Just becauseyou thinksomeone else may lie about it doesn't mean you have to. People are liars, they lie about all kinds of things, does that mean you need to lie about everything? So if someone lies to me and cheats on me, does that justify me turning around and lying and cheating on the next guy? No. Of course not.
I see what you’re saying and I don’t disagree with you about the morality of it but I believe if I was to tell women I’m potentially interested in my true figure it more than likely would turn them off.
post 1618096391 10-01-2020, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
I see what you’re saying and I don’t disagree with you about the morality of it but I believe if I was to tell women I’m potentially interested in my true figure it more than likely would turn them off.
Lol Srsly? So that's a consequence you have to deal with for whoring it up.
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post 1618096441 10-01-2020, 04:33 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Lol Srsly? So that's a consequence you have to deal with for whoring it up.
We’ll revise this in 10 years when I create a post saying my wife found out I slept with more women than I initially said when I first met her lol
post 1618096511 10-01-2020, 04:35 AM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
We’ll revise this in 10 years when I create a post saying my wife found out I slept with more women than I initially said when I first met her lol
I just think honesty is the best policy. It's one thing to never say, but to flat out lie? And a big lie at that with you chopping your count by 3/4? Yeah, when I find out someone lied to me about stuff that's not going to go well.
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post 1618097121 10-01-2020, 05:00 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I just think honesty is the best policy. It's one thing to never say, but to flat out lie? And a big lie at that with you chopping your count by 3/4? Yeah, when I find out someone lied to me about stuff that's not going to go well.
I don’t mean to come across as an ******* if it seems that way, I do agree with you that honesty is the best policy and it would be better to be honest but I just genuinely think it’s something that will harm my chances with some women that I’m interested in. Lying isn’t the best thing to be doing and I agree with you. Arguably you could say I don’t deserve a nice woman being as I’m a liar but I suppose it’s each to their own in that sense, a lot of people hide things from potential partners that we never know of. This is one of the things that I would hide.
post 1618097451 10-01-2020, 05:15 AM
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
I don’t mean to come across as an ******* if it seems that way, I do agree with you that honesty is the best policy and it would be better to be honest but I just genuinely think it’s something that will harm my chances with some women that I’m interested in. Lying isn’t the best thing to be doing and I agree with you. Arguably you could say I don’t deserve a nice woman being as I’m a liar but I suppose it’s each to their own in that sense, a lot of people hide things from potential partners that we never know of. This is one of the things that I would hide.
We're just going to have to agree to disagree. Like I said, not ever mentioning it is one thing. That's more what I'd consider hiding it. Lying is a completely other thing. Would you be ok with someone lying to your face? If you don't care if people lie to you, then I guess keep on lying. If you do care, then stop. You should treat people how you wish to be treated.
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post 1618107721 10-01-2020, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
We're just going to have to agree to disagree. Like I said, not ever mentioning it is one thing. That's more what I'd consider hiding it. Lying is a completely other thing. Would you be ok with someone lying to your face? If you don't care if people lie to you, then I guess keep on lying. If you do care, then stop. You should treat people how you wish to be treated.
What you’re saying is a fair point but I think this is just an agree to disagree thing. If I told someone I’ve been with 40 women they might have the same outlook on it and think I’m more than likely to be unfaithful in the future and then continue not to pursue anything further with me even though there’s no chance of me being unfaithful in the future. When/if I’m asked I always say lower numbers than what it actually is and I’ll still continue to do that for the reasons I have said. It’s inevitable in a lot of relationships that lies are told and what-not do no doubt in a few months time or something I’ll be here writing a thread about how a girl had lied to me and I imagine there’ll be several people remembering these messaging and hit me with the “you reap what you sow” which is fair.

Am I the only person on here that lowers the figures of the amount of people they’ve actually slept with...?
post 1618111111 10-01-2020, 09:02 AM
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#8874
  1. MediocreGains
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  1. MediocreGains
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
What you’re saying is a fair point but I think this is just an agree to disagree thing. If I told someone I’ve been with 40 women they might have the same outlook on it and think I’m more than likely to be unfaithful in the future and then continue not to pursue anything further with me even though there’s no chance of me being unfaithful in the future. When/if I’m asked I always say lower numbers than what it actually is and I’ll still continue to do that for the reasons I have said. It’s inevitable in a lot of relationships that lies are told and what-not do no doubt in a few months time or something I’ll be here writing a thread about how a girl had lied to me and I imagine there’ll be several people remembering these messaging and hit me with the “you reap what you sow” which is fair.

Am I the only person on here that lowers the figures of the amount of people they’ve actually slept with...?
Honestly, I don't see any real point in a man lying about his number. To me, it's not even a morality thing. Women generally don't care as much as men, and you're essentially misrepresenting yourself, which is a problem if you're looking for someone who's compatible. It may create more trouble down the line while not benefitting you in any way.

This is why it's better to just not give an answer. When I don't answer or say something cheesy as a joke like, "It didn't count before you," a woman is going to correctly assume that my number is higher than average. But at the same time, no number has been said, so it hasn't been made "real" yet, meaning that there's no number for her to dwell on that could lead to more probing questions about your past.
post 1618112591 10-01-2020, 09:23 AM
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#8875
  1. Legz422
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
What you’re saying is a fair point but I think this is just an agree to disagree thing. If I told someone I’ve been with 40 women they might have the same outlook on it and think I’m more than likely to be unfaithful in the future and then continue not to pursue anything further with me even though there’s no chance of me being unfaithful in the future. When/if I’m asked I always say lower numbers than what it actually is and I’ll still continue to do that for the reasons I have said. It’s inevitable in a lot of relationships that lies are told and what-not do no doubt in a few months time or something I’ll be here writing a thread about how a girl had lied to me and I imagine there’ll be several people remembering these messaging and hit me with the “you reap what you sow” which is fair.

Am I the only person on here that lowers the figures of the amount of people they’ve actually slept with...?
If it comes up, I don't lie about mine.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
post 1618113161 10-01-2020, 09:32 AM
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#8876
  1. HoustonMiscer
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  1. HoustonMiscer
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Hi guys just checking in. Hope yall are doing great. No new stories from me unfortunately. Stay tuned
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post 1618113981 10-01-2020, 09:45 AM
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#8877
  1. Luc1fer
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Originally Posted By Austin317⏩
What you’re saying is a fair point but I think this is just an agree to disagree thing. If I told someone I’ve been with 40 women they might have the same outlook on it and think I’m more than likely to be unfaithful in the future and then continue not to pursue anything further with me even though there’s no chance of me being unfaithful in the future.
Irresponsibility is a flag too. 20+ partners by 23, I see my ex as irresponsible. For men, that's more about health/STDs but for women going back to a man's apartment etc. is dangerous and irresponsible.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
post 1618114411 10-01-2020, 09:50 AM
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#8878
  1. DustinTheHuss
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  1. DustinTheHuss
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Irresponsibility is a flag too. 20+ partners by 23, I see my ex as irresponsible. For men, that's more about health/STDs but for women going back to a man's apartment etc. is dangerous and irresponsible.
Yup, as I posted about my friend who got bruised up and sexually assaulted when she went to a guy's apartment. He admitted to it over text, was arrested and is looking at felony charges. She is promiscuous though as she's mentally unstable, but he took it too far and wouldn't let her leave and was biting her.
post 1618114911 10-01-2020, 09:58 AM
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#8879
  1. skinnyfat88
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  1. skinnyfat88
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Even if a woman asks mine I probably won't ask to know hers.

W/ my last gf I played it off once or twice then finally caved and told her.

Last two girls I've seen still implied a number without me even asking though. Obviously it's because they wanted me to know (or think) it was relatively low.
post 1618116131 10-01-2020, 10:15 AM
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#8880
  1. Kev1972
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  1. Kev1972
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Numbers don't matter much in my opinion. I've been with tons of women but never had any issue falling in love and never cheated on anyone I was ever in a relationship with.

My ex-wife I met when she was 22 and I was 25. She had one partner before me that she was with from 15-21. We were together for 15 years and had 3 children together and she cheated on me with a 21yo nursing assistant when she was 37.

Moral of the story, sloots gonna sloot.
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