. Truth is true..I'm on spread and mod negged.. great post

I like to think I'm emotionally healthy lol. But I'm certainly not completely 'normal'.

I'd also like to thank you, Rabbit, US Ranger and a few others for the feedback on the control thing.

"The sooner you realise you can’t completely control anything, including your own emotions the better".
"Nothing in life can be controlled, only influenced."

That got me thinking, and I'll keep that in mind. Feel like I got some free therapy on the misc, lmao

Ye, over-analyzing and fear of regret probably goes hand-in-hand with ceding control of outcomes. I was often paralyzed with fear that I would get my ex pregnant (or she was pregnant) which kinda ruined sex quite a bit. I think that was partially because I felt she was a bit crazy and I was really anxious about her having my child, but I also could've been worrying too much.

Yeah that's pretty rare. I met a girl a few years ago just like that. I was like 21 and I talked to her and met her like a week after matching, and only had been using the app for like a few days when I matched with her. We became exclusive right away and dated for like 10 months. The relationship naturally ran its course but looking back I'm starting to realize how uncommon that was. I didn't appreciate it at the time..

OP you just cursed me. I was syncing my phone to my computer since I'm getting a new phone soon. Thought I deleted all pics of my ex but just uncovered a stash of old nudes of her that I forgot I even had. Getting some massive hnggg feels right now.

Bro,

I know I'm gonna be in the same situation with that borderline girl from my thread. I know shes nuts. I know it would never have worked. I know shes doomed to repeat the same pattern, yet I still liked ****ing her and liked when things were good as those BPD girls make you feel like a king.

I keep checking her friends list for any new Chads. I gotta let it go but I know in the next couple of weeks, some Chads will be added as friends.

Why is she still on your IG?

You need to find a rebound. Seriously, if you had someone it'd keep you distracted. Additionally, you need to just move the fuk on. She's your ex, you put work in to find out it was chit so stop being insecure and move on to something better.

Have you tried retreats? What about Christianmingle.com? Maybe take a vacation to other countries and see for yourself other beautiful women there?Isn't there a bro-code where you do not mess with other's exes? Well that is what my ex told me.

Just clicked this thread. First breakup. I'm in a similar place OP, but this isn't about me. It's about you.

You should block her social media for a short time then delete her number. Blocking the social media will lower the temptation too look at it, and deleting her number will make you less likely to try to contact her. The worst feeling is knowing the person you still have feelings for seems like they've forgotten about you easily and his having fun/sex with other people. It hurts and I can understand that relentless feeling of anxiety that comes with it. After sometime you should unblock her social media after you've attained enough self control not to check it anymore. Whatever you do: Please DO NOT break NO CONTACT. Please.

I also agree with Trinnie on staying single for a few months. Take that time to heal and improve yourself, it can do wonders for you. Anyways I think everyone else has offered solid advice and you seem like solid dude. You're gonna make it OP.

I think with dating that’s how it usually works for the couples that last. Moving fast (but at the same pace) at the beginning is a pretty good indicator that the spark is there. I was casually dating a few guys for 2 months, honestly it was fun and interesting getting to know people who don’t have the same background as I do. Met current bf at a work conference, got tea the next day and ended up just walking around some random neighborhood for 2h just talking. And the very next day we went on date 2 and that lasted 6h. We both stopped dating other people on date 2. I think if you’re hesitant to see someone too often at the beginning, or just not even wanting to see them bc you have other dates to attend to. That means you two aren’t that attracted to each other. People who click move fast.

I asked my bf about online dating bc that’s what he was doing for half a year before we met. And basically most women don’t really fit the bill, the ones that do have issues he didn’t even know could exist. I had a lot of trouble believing that online dating is that bad until I met him. His main problem with it was he’s not a casual sex person, and most of the women he met wanted to get it on within the first 3 dates.

Ye, it's true. The first girl I dated was getting anxious by date 3 for sex, while I was chill.

My friend has multiple similar experiences; one girl assumed he must not like her because he hadn't made a move for sex by the 3rd date. Another girl wanted him to move faster too.

This all seems backwards.. lol.

It's good to know there's both men and women out there that aren't that promiscuous and sex-obsessed.

you need to get some decent strange.