Dealing With Misery

09-21-2021, 08:49 PM

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#61

sam212
Registered User

sam212
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Join Date: May 2009

Age: 43

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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩

I want to marry this girl I’m talking to and I want her to live with me in a decent house in a decent suburb. I’m fine with a middle class life. I think I want a couple of kids. I would be ok with renting an apartment temporarily if I had to.

Sounds like you have dreams. It’s good to have dreams. Dreams give us hope, and with hope, we keep going.

Your dreams are totally dependent on your ability to take control of your life and being able earn a decent living. How bad do you want it? Forget this woman, focus on yourself for a second. Do you want to continue to live the way you are in 10 years? Invest in yourself right now, make sacrifices, work hard like no tomorrow. Alternative is continued misery.

09-21-2021, 09:01 PM

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#62

SicilianPower
Registered Anti-Hero

SicilianPower
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Join Date: Aug 2013

Location: Bronx, New York, United States

Posts: 9,395

Rep Power: 47886

Originally Posted By MyGhettoFantasy⏩

So you feel crushing disappointment when you don't succeed at something, but you don't feel any pride when you accomplish something? That would be tough for anyone to deal with.

You have ambivalence about how strongly you desire to cjange, because you don't know what change to make, but something in you obviously wanyt to change.

Would it be fair to say you feel "driven" to change? What I mean by this is it true that forces are pushing you rather than some future oriented thing is luring you? I know you said you want a future with your current gf, but is that desire stronger then the memories of the past that seem to be haunting you, perhaps causing or contributing to your depression, stress, and anxiety?

What does your gf see in you? You said she jelps and it supportive. What is she helping and what is she supporting? What kind of feedback, verbal and nonverbal, does she give you?

Your relationship with her suggests to me that you have more going for yourself than you might be aware of or appreciate.

I feel like I need to change because I need to get my life in order in hopes I can find some sort of fulfillment and purpose and in doing that maybe I can find a hint of happiness. Something I haven’t felt in such a long time. I am haunted by some aspects of my past, I’m not trying to get into that. We all have emotional scars, regrets, lingering questions of what if’s. At the end of the day I am not a victim, I don’t feel sorry for myself and I don’t want anyone else to feel sorry for me either. I can sit here and talk about all these bad experiences I’ve had but I find the more you dwell on such a thing the less likely you are to find a solution to move forward.

I’ve never had a hard time getting girls to like me. I guess I would be considered good looking by most standards and I’m a complicated thinker. I think this girl is interested in me because of the fact that we have nearly identical ideology and values, she thinks I’m intelligent, she likes that I am intuitive, she finds me attractive physically, and we have great chemistry and conversations. Stuff like that.

She is supportive in the sense that she is good emotional support, supplies feminine attention to me, and acts somewhat as a stabilizing element for me. She’s a taste of something good in this wicked world. Likewise I am very supportive for her as well, she has commented that because of me she feels stronger and more hopeful. So it’s mutually beneficial.

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09-21-2021, 09:06 PM

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#63

SicilianPower
Registered Anti-Hero

SicilianPower
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Join Date: Aug 2013

Location: Bronx, New York, United States

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Originally Posted By sam212⏩

Sounds like you have dreams. It’s good to have dreams. Dreams give us hope, and with hope, we keep going.

Your dreams are totally dependent on your ability to take control of your life and being able earn a decent living. How bad do you want it? Forget this woman, focus on yourself for a second. Do you want to continue to live the way you are in 10 years? Invest in yourself right now, make sacrifices, work hard like no tomorrow. Alternative is continued misery.

I don’t really care about myself. So I have find my motivation to life in other people, people I care about.