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What are some passive-aggressive power plays you do at the office to get the edge?
What are some passive-aggressive power plays you do at the office to get the edge?
11-15-2016, 09:30 AM
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#91
Originally Posted By RobParks2M⏩
Definitely gonna incorporate this into my playbook.Check up on people randomly even if they don't work for you. Act like your really concerned about them and if they call you on it say "I've heard from above that you were struggling and I wanted to see if you were doing ok"
11-15-2016, 09:47 AM
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#92
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When someone forgets to add the email attachments they reference, reply all when you call them out on it. Makes you look attentive to detail, and makes them look sloppy/forgetful.
Also, any advice on how to assert dominance in a meeting where you know nothing about the topic?
Also, any advice on how to assert dominance in a meeting where you know nothing about the topic?
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11-15-2016, 09:57 AM
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#93
- sm1ke
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Originally Posted By Rajc⏩
One of the guys in my office does this constantly. Annoying, to say the least.ask people about a topic i vaguely know about and in while they're answering / explaining it, i just start saying in a know-it-all, loud and hectic tone while nodding furiously "yeah yeah oo yea yea" while repeating the last words they said
for example "he has 50'00 debt an-"
"yea! 50 thousand yes debt yeah yeah yep yea 50" while nodding
for example "he has 50'00 debt an-"
"yea! 50 thousand yes debt yeah yeah yep yea 50" while nodding
Originally Posted By LieutenantGains⏩
Combine these moves for maximum effect. Sit cross legged with your hands on your hips during meetings. Power pose achieved.Always stand with your arms on your hips. Total power play stance. And always cross your leg over the other when sitting in a meeting. Shows you're relaxed and confident.
Or:
But with a power suit on.
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11-15-2016, 10:05 AM
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#94
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11-15-2016, 10:11 AM
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#95
Originally Posted By PeteJonesHTX⏩
Ask as many detailed questions as possible and hope you can make people look stupid/uninformed.When someone forgets to add the email attachments they reference, reply all when you call them out on it. Makes you look attentive to detail, and makes them look sloppy/forgetful.
Also, any advice on how to assert dominance in a meeting where you know nothing about the topic?
Also, any advice on how to assert dominance in a meeting where you know nothing about the topic?
Personally I would probably skip that meeting altogether.
11-15-2016, 10:16 AM
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#96
Originally Posted By PeteJonesHTX⏩
"power listening" aka active listeningAlso, any advice on how to assert dominance in a meeting where you know nothing about the topic?
Just be super animated and nod your head yes a lot and say "yea" in a high pitched voice
11-15-2016, 10:20 AM
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#97
-"mansplain" to female co-workers to assert your alpha dominance over their smaller brains.
-do 3 sets of 5 reps on power poses while in a meeting. this will let others know what the heirarchy is and know that you're on the top.
-wait until someone goes toilet and IMMEDIATELY go in after. Take the biggest loudest dump of your life to remind your co-worker you're not someone to phuk with
-do 3 sets of 5 reps on power poses while in a meeting. this will let others know what the heirarchy is and know that you're on the top.
-wait until someone goes toilet and IMMEDIATELY go in after. Take the biggest loudest dump of your life to remind your co-worker you're not someone to phuk with
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11-15-2016, 10:27 AM
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#98
Originally Posted By Fatebound⏩
Nice.-wait until someone goes toilet and IMMEDIATELY go in after. Take the biggest loudest dump of your life to remind your co-worker you're not someone to phuk with
Also, while we are on the topic:
-When you are standing in the urinal next to a shy-pisser, strike up a convo to make things even more awkward. Drop subtle hints about him taking his time while you are at it.
11-15-2016, 10:29 AM
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#99
Originally Posted By jawbruh⏩
Yeah say something like "woah woah woah, I heard about you, dont be looking at my dick" and then look at theirs.Nice.
Also, while we are on the topic:
-When you are standing in the urinal next to a shy-pisser, strike up a convo to make things even more awkward. Drop subtle hints about him taking his time while you are at it.
Also, while we are on the topic:
-When you are standing in the urinal next to a shy-pisser, strike up a convo to make things even more awkward. Drop subtle hints about him taking his time while you are at it.
11-15-2016, 10:32 AM
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#100
11-15-2016, 10:34 AM
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#101
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11-15-2016, 10:35 AM
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#102
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11-15-2016, 10:47 AM
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#103
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If an older woman gets on my nerves; I just tell her "Beat it; you 50 year old mattress!"
11-15-2016, 10:55 AM
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#104
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Speaking of bathroom work etiquette...I always try to get into it first in the morning. Then i use all the TP and only make sure to leave a little slice hanging out of the dispenser to make it look like there is some left. Then on the toilet paper roll i write 'Lol CUCK' in magic marker. If i know who used the bathroom after me i will throw out subtle phrases like 'man, do you smell schit?' when they walk by to make them self conscious about not being able to wipe.
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11-15-2016, 11:05 AM
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#105
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We have those laser sensitive mouses at work. I often times will cover up the laser with tape or something so the mouse won't work and watch them freak out about it.
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11-15-2016, 11:11 AM
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#106
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Have sexually explicit conversations on the phone with your girlfriend in the office. Accidentally hit the speaker phone.
A young bull and an old bull were standing atop a hill looking at a bunch of heifers in a field below.
The young bull says "Let's run down this hill and fuk one of those heifers."
The old bull replies "No. Let's walk down there, and fuk them all."
11-15-2016, 11:18 AM
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#107
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Originally Posted By jawbruh⏩
This is the only thing that is good advice in your whole post.-Always arrive 10 minutes early and leave 10 minutes later after the managers
I will admit I used to use my 32 hours personal time to leave an hour early on Monday nights (my Friday) so I could hit the bars and catch end of MNF.
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11-15-2016, 11:21 AM
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#108
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Originally Posted By Sanguivorant⏩
This. I will bash your skull in if you keep CCing my boss on everything in attempt to make me prioritize my day around your issue.Hopefully I don't have to deal with *******s like you in the workplace.
11-15-2016, 11:22 AM
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#109
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Originally Posted By IlChosenOne⏩
Reminds me of a personal tactic...I work with a lot of vegans/vegetarians/hippies.^^
^
You are in this for the long game, try to ghost bulk all your coworkers.
Bring in cake, donuts, and chit every week, but never eat any of it yourself.
^
You are in this for the long game, try to ghost bulk all your coworkers.
Bring in cake, donuts, and chit every week, but never eat any of it yourself.
Sometimes I'll leave out meaty snacks I know they won't eat but will want, and almost every day I cook something meaty that smells amazing...BBQ pulled pork, Indian cuisine with chicken, taco meat, roasted chicken legs, burgers from the grill, meaty pizza (homemade and healthy of course) and meatloaf. I've made pizzas for them, with meat of course. We have a toaster oven in the kitchen so I can cook things for half an hour and make the place smell amazing with the scents of delicious meat.
They always come out like prairie dogs popping their heads up and tell me it smells so good...and I proceed to tell them what kind of meat they're missing out on.
They do go CRAZY over any kind of candy or desserts...I don't even get to them, not that I eat a lot of junk anyways.
11-15-2016, 11:34 AM
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#110
- sm1ke
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Double-sided tape all of the things. Phone handsets, staplers, keyboards and mice.
Surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet, but ALT+CTRL+Arrow key to flip/rotate a coworker's screen. Only works if the computer isn't locked though. Funny to watch them google how to fix it while their head is cocked 90 degrees to the side.
Surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet, but ALT+CTRL+Arrow key to flip/rotate a coworker's screen. Only works if the computer isn't locked though. Funny to watch them google how to fix it while their head is cocked 90 degrees to the side.
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11-15-2016, 11:49 AM
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#111
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What I've done before:
When someone emails you a mistake you made but its also has to do with another employee of another department. Bold out the text or reference about the employee and send it to your supervisor to take the heat off.(I don't do this often unless they've been a str8 kunt)
If someone from another department or seniority has it out for you then send any and all tasks to that person. I mean all tasks related to them. They will leave you alone.
When someone emails you a mistake you made but its also has to do with another employee of another department. Bold out the text or reference about the employee and send it to your supervisor to take the heat off.(I don't do this often unless they've been a str8 kunt)
If someone from another department or seniority has it out for you then send any and all tasks to that person. I mean all tasks related to them. They will leave you alone.
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11-15-2016, 11:51 AM
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#112
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Originally Posted By sm1ke⏩
IT WORKS! Never knew about that one.Surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet, but ALT+CTRL+Arrow key to flip/rotate a coworker's screen. Only works if the computer isn't locked though. Funny to watch them google how to fix it while their head is cocked 90 degrees to the side.
Going to do this. Big reps for you.
Upside-down looks cool.
11-15-2016, 12:06 PM
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#113
11-15-2016, 12:22 PM
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#114
- IlChosenOne
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Originally Posted By RICHSTRONG⏩
Don't you work from home?Speaking of bathroom work etiquette...I always try to get into it first in the morning. Then i use all the TP and only make sure to leave a little slice hanging out of the dispenser to make it look like there is some left. Then on the toilet paper roll i write 'Lol CUCK' in magic marker. If i know who used the bathroom after me i will throw out subtle phrases like 'man, do you smell schit?' when they walk by to make them self conscious about not being able to wipe.
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11-15-2016, 12:28 PM
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#115
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1) If you have a client that attempts to blame you over something on an 'official' e-mail - even though they are the one who mightve ****ed up, not you - just write a simple 'sorry about that' in an e-mail and click send, with no explanation whatsoever. (It pisses them off ALOT - especially if your management is copied. Because it shows you dont give a flying **** and that you are not a pushover. )
2) If you find out its your rival's birthday and they are at work... order a cake to the office. Then bring the cake around, and offer the pieces to most of your co-workers (excluding the rival) just because "your a nice guy".
2) If you find out its your rival's birthday and they are at work... order a cake to the office. Then bring the cake around, and offer the pieces to most of your co-workers (excluding the rival) just because "your a nice guy".
11-15-2016, 12:30 PM
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#116
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Originally Posted By Sanguivorant⏩
You will, they are crawling all over. *******s make 50k a year and think they are important or hot chit, its hilarious to me.Hopefully I don't have to deal with *******s like you in the workplace.
11-15-2016, 12:32 PM
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#117
Originally Posted By ShhOnlyDreams⏩
This is wrong. Never admit your fault.1) If you have a client that attempts to blame you over something on an 'official' e-mail - even though they are the one who mightve ****ed up, not you - just write a simple 'sorry about that' in an e-mail and click send, with no explanation whatsoever. (It pisses them off ALOT - especially if your management is copied. Because it shows you dont give a flying **** and that you are not a pushover. )
Bounce the ball back at them and blame them for whatever you can. You have to be confrontational.
If none of the seniors or managers is copied on it, simply delete it without acknowledgment.
11-15-2016, 12:35 PM
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#118
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Originally Posted By jawbruh⏩
I agree that you shouldn't accept blame 99% of the time. But sometimes when serving a client, at least in the market im in, Im forced to accept the old mantra 'the client is always right'. In this case, I say accept it, but dont provide any explanation.This is wrong. Never admit your fault.
Bounce the ball back at them and blame them for whatever you can. You have to be confrontational.
If none of the seniors or managers is copied on it, simply delete it without acknowledgment.
Bounce the ball back at them and blame them for whatever you can. You have to be confrontational.
If none of the seniors or managers is copied on it, simply delete it without acknowledgment.
11-15-2016, 12:45 PM
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#119
- RICHSTRONG
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Originally Posted By IlChosenOne⏩
Don't you work from home?
yes<-----------------always cuckin myself. feelsbadmayne
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