-sophomore year
-just broken up w ex gf
-been chattin up this chick, 6/10 at best w a nice azz tho
-get smashed, snort xanies in broom at house party
-hook up
-back to my apartment
-bedroom, continue hard make out
-im fingering her, shes extremely wet
-*****/whiskey dick I literally could not get hard for like an hour
-turn around and fall asleep
-NC



another time, more recent

-seen girl from college max 6.5/10 at local bar
-flirt, blah blah blah
-I go over hers at 2am
-vodka shots
-im actually hammered so take a half Viagra
-start smashing
-loosest poosay ever
-I'm literally like:

-force a nut
-woke up at 9am and left
-NC


nothing too crazy, no piss/sh*t involved stories even though I've been with a few chicks (high teens)

OK, what the hell...

-Move to new town, no friends/contacts whatsoever
-Hop on POF/Tinder/OKC
-Chat up Asian girl from OKC, tell her I'm making dinner and have extra, she agrees to come over
-Eat dinner, sit down to watch Stranger Things
-She takes off her shirt down to a tank top, smells like fukkin awful B.O.
-She's rubbing my nipples through my shirt, I'm like wtf, after a while it starts to hurt like hell.
-She undoes my shorts button/zipper, proceeds to play with dink
-Starts poking/rubbing/massaging the spot between my dink and ballsack.....HARD...I tried to enjoy it but it was so fukkin weird
-Fukkin hurts like hell, can't get hard
-"you nervous?" in strong Asian accent....I LOL at her and say no just try sucking it.
-Proceed to get worst BJ ever and never got fully hard.
-She tries to jump on my dink, I'm like aw fukk whatever I'll give it a shot, she lifts up her arms and smell B.O. again, goodbye softie erection
-Pretend to fall asleep while watching Stranger Things, she says "oh you tired....I go" in strong Asian accent again LOLs
-Asians from the internet......never fukking again

I've told this on the misc before, but my peak ONS was during a trip to South Carolina with some friends while I was in college. We went out to a bar; it was dead. I had to take a bad dump, so I use this ridiculous bar bathroom with no door on the stall. It was a disgusting, sloppy poop and there was no toilet paper, so I had to do a quick wipe down with a paper towel and gtfo before anyone else came into the room.

I really just wanted to go home and shower, but couldn't bail with my friends all there, so I continued to drink. This sloot shows up (7/10) and is eye-fuking me hard, so we start dancing. I find out she doesn't speak any English (she was French Canadian), but her fat friend did, who let me know her sloot friend wanted to hook up with me. So the fat girl drove me and my buddies home, like a 20 minute drive and then waited in the car while her friend came inside to bang me, lol.

So we get naked and start going at it and she's on top of me and in one quick swoop, she grabs both my legs and throws them up in the air and swan dives tongue first into my a$$hole. At that point, no one had ever tossed my salad, so I was taken aback and trying to figure out wtf was going on, but within seconds, the sloppy poop came crashing back into my mind and I started to dry heave. So my legs are straight up in the air and this girl is going to town down there without hesitation and the idea of what she's ingesting is more vile than I could comprehend.

So I get up, and I'm like, "nah, none of that" -- but she had no idea what my issue was and was starring me down like I was a prude, saying a bunch of random French sh!t to me. So she pushes me back onto the bed and starts riding me like a mad woman...and within five minutes she cums, however, she was also a squirter. I was young and dumb and didn't know about squirting and I thought she pissed on me, so I jumped up again and start losing my **** "YOU FUKING PISSED ON ME!" -- this time she realized what I was mad about and appeared to be trying to tell me that it wasn't piss, but I didn't know wtf she was saying and at this point I was too far in not to get my nut. So I bent her over the bed and went to town until I came.

So we're finished and I'm trying to get her dressed and out of the house, which she took great offense to being rushed....again, no idea what she was saying. She was trying to get dressed, but she was wearing this slooty shredded black dress and couldn't get it back on because it was in a fuking knot. So she's half in her dress and I'm pushing her to the door, and then she tries to kiss me goodbye...but again, after what she did to my ass, that was not happening, so I yelled "Fuk no!" and slammed the door on her.

SHE pulled HER dink out of YOUR mouth WAT????

Fuk yes this is why i misc, gold thread

-With good buddy who has a gf, drink until we close the bar down (3am)
-Hanging outside the bar, figuring out our next move
-Bunch of wasted native girls outside, cant really speak any english or french, but still manage to entertain us
-One of them, 5/10, manages to openly say she wants my bud to fck her
- He says fck no, but since im down (dryspell) we somehow both walk 30 minutes to her hotel
-Once we get there, i tell him to wait in the staircase while i do her in her room
-Shes super confused cause she wanted my bud, but still goes along with it
- halfway through, condom breaks, scared but she insists me on (pls no aids).
-still pumping, she screams "GIVE ME BABY" (boring lay btw, only missionary, apparently for the sole purpose of procreation)
-Instant boner killer, want head to try and finish but she wont
-No success
-She manages to explain that she wants my baby tomorrow
-I pretend pass out, she passes out, i slide out of bed and tippytoe my way the **** out of there
-wake my friend up in the staircase and make our way back to his place (good bro)

Got tested after, was scared as **** but i made it bruhs

Never even knew her name

wat

Head out to bar strip with friends 35 minutes from home.
All proceed to get very very drunk.
End of night my friend grabs a girls and pushes her into me so we dance and w/e
Finger blast her in the bar lol
I go home with # and pussy fingers
Dont remember what she looks like.
She comes over the next day to smash.
Pulls up in front of house and shes legit over 200 lbs but 5'7ish so not a short stub
Shes there so I smash anyway
Cant even go completely in because shes pushing my pelvis away as im smashing
Send her on her way and never speak again
--------------

2nd one is a tinder whore who used me to get off
tells me shes great in bed
comes over after a week chatting
in bed watching drive
making out and fingering her
she cums, turns around
picks up and leaves
lol never answered my texts after that

Its called a grundle

as requested from my user CP, the other story of a BAD experience happened at a resort hotel i use to work at.


I was a bartender for the bar and grill within the hotel. After 11pm, room service ends but is still available for drinks until 1am. So either myself or 1 server would run the order upstairs. slow night and the restaurant was empty. get a call from a couple asking for a bottle of wine and an opener. no big deal. quick and easy and i asked the server to close up and im gonna run this upstairs. get to the room on the top floor at the very end of the hotel.

So I knock on the door, which is left opened by the chain lock flipped around, and they tell me to come in. no biggie. it was a 40 something year old black couple from Kansas City in town for a brief weekend getaway to "renew our love life". the male was average size, thin beard. the woman was stacked all over. nearly pushing boundaries on thickness. semi attractive though, i guess. so they started asking questions, random things, like about the wine, what to do in the city, etc.

about 10 min. later, they open the bottle of wine and ask if i would like a drink with them. this is grounds for termination. I am not suppose to be in a room more than 5 minutes with a customer of the hotel. on or off the clock unless it's family. but it's nearly 1am so what the hell. the bars closed up and nearly no one is in the hotel. have a glass of wine and they start talking of their sex life. how they wanted to spice it up, different ideas they had to do it. the wife starts explaining a story visually of a crazy orgy they had and she was reenacting it on me. this lady was grinding down on me. i actually felt a little uncomfortable at this point as the husband was just kinda staring like he enjoyed it.

so they both ask me questions about my sex life, while the wife still is straddling over me. slowly grinding on me still. something was definitely up but didnt believe it was actually happening. so the man then says "would you wanna **** my wife while i watch?". I rejected the offer a couple times he asked. pulls out a bottle of cognac and asks to stay for one more drink. I shouldve left then. but i didnt.

have a drink, not a fan of cognac but **** it. i dont like much either. at this point the way starts playing with herself as me and the dude are now talking football. he then asks one more time how they like me and appreciates the wine at 1am, and for the info and then if i would **** her and if i felt uncomfortable at all i can quit.

to speed this story up a bit, me and the wife are having sex. the husband is sitting over in the chair near the window watching. i didnt want to look over there. after about 10 minutes, she asks for him to come over. here he comes, in his bball shorts, and he's standing by the bed about a foot from my face (still on top). Dude drops his shorts and it's like a lunar eclipse. This dudes hog is right next to my face, he grabs it to put it near her mouth and clocks me in the side of the head with this ****ing banana leg. instantly got upright and put the brakes on the whole situation. dude said it was an accident, that he doesnt do the gay stuff. the wife is laughing, she thinks it's funny, "first time you had a black dick in your face?"...well, yeah. the **** man. so now it's this very uncomfortable threesome as im dodging from giant swinging meatstick man. it wasnt until she was on top that he decides for the ol dp manuever. makes a joke about balls touching and no homo. im committed at this point and just want to get off. i was so uncomfortable.

dude decides he wasnt going backdoor but in the same hole. i feel this tight pressure and a lot of new contact. I realize then, we combined out dicks like voltron to get his wife going. im mortified now. im not even moving. dude is going in. i can feel the tightness. dudes engorged member flailing in and out. **** was bad news bears. dude pulls out and busts all over her ass and im left that with this gaped hole that wraps around my dick like a wet bandage at this point. she finished me off by giving some pretty good head. grabbed my clothes and told them to enjoy their stay and left as fast as humanly possible. it was now 3:30 at this point. forgot to clock out. passed security who gave me an odd look as to why i was leaving so late (in the parking garage).


this is the only time ive ever mentioned this story to anyone. ever. i look back at it and just laugh my ass off.

Nah, that's between your a$$hole and balls.

yeah, is that not normal of a woman to do ?

go home w/ 6/10 from party
she takes me to her dorm
start smashing
bed is super loud
too drunk can't finish
"cum in me"
my drunk self "aww yeah"
start hammering her out as hard as possible
can't cum
leave to half the surrounding dorms in the hallway clapping as i leave....
gtfoutta there, srs

-broke up with ex of a year
-was desperate for strange, hit up tinder
-first tinder match was a girl named "Precious" but her pics made it seem like she was 6/10
-obvious weave, nice body, below average face.. "eh worth it"
-tells me to pick her up from her hosue an hour away, desperate enough to do it.
-its about 4am in the morning, dark af in the car otw back to my place.
-get into my room, and turn on light
-no weave, hair shorter than mine, looks like Koba from planet of the apes, fatter than i remembered - legit 1.2/10
-proceeded to smash with the force of 10000 mohammads who succeeded their jihad
-pass out
-10am, asks me to drop her back home, i happily do so.
-get there and ducked, told me to keep driving cause her BF was at her front door looking for her (Tyrone looking dude)
-waited on the block parrelell her house playing hearthstone for about 2 hours until BF left.
-no regrets

I got pooped on once..



Also brought a black girl back from the club, and apparently she was sweating pretty bad out there because her cooch smelled like death.

Read it wrong. Ouch,that would hurt

Invited POF date to my home for dinner
bragged about what a wonderful chef I am
started to prepare our dinner
started making out in kitchen
slowly remove her clothes and start going in
she tells me to stop abruptly
says her poosey burns..
Didn't wash my hands after handling paprika
she leaves in a hurry
Drunk text her days later
never hear back from her...

thats dorm life for yah

liquid or solid? Contact info of sloot

Yeah i wouldnt brag about that story either lol specially not the part where you got bitch slapped in the face by a black footlong

Gg bro was a good read anyhow

More lol

Not me but the story of a good friend of mine, lets call him jeff:

-me and gf want to set up a birthday party (barbecue) for jeff
-open whatsapp group (without jeff in it)
-since jeffs gf left him recently i literally added every sloot i knew
-one of them was a weird sloot. she was hot but had the mind of a 5 year old.
-meet @ public barbecue area
-birthday started @ sunset
-as it got dark, we started to make a campfire
-loud music, lots of alcohol and people having a good time
-op sees weird sloot pissing in what looked like a water bottle behind a tree laughing her azz off
-weird sloots returns to the campfire, jeff makes a move on her
-they understand each other and laugh a lot
-they get super wasted together
-30 mins later op catches them making out
-party hits its peak
-another 30 mins later op catches them fukkin behind a tree
-op sees jeff having a water bottle in his hand, drinking and sharing it with weird sloot
-op realizes its the same water bottle the sloot pissed in before
-op almost dies of laughter
-everyone witnessed them
-ops gf feels bad for jeff and pulled weird sloot away from him
-weird sloot passes out
-jeff passes out
-jeffs new nickname turned to pissface (jokingly)
-still confronting him with it to this day

LOL. Boston is ugly as sin. Lived in NE all my life and the people are ugly in general.