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Confess some dumm chit that your young self was unbelievably lucky to get away with
02-09-2019, 02:23 AM
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#91
02-09-2019, 02:33 AM
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#92
- blackflgst
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: Florida, United States
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Originally Posted By bsrkoacar⏩
We got ourselves a hardened criminal here boys. Ted Bundy would quiver in his bootsThese stories are PG. I would probably get banned if i talked in detail on the really illegal chit i did. I used to live the Sex, drugs, rock and roll life style....
A simple story, once was walking down main street drunk as fuk at midnight. I was looking over my shoulder for a cop and as soon as i saw a cop car coming i pulled my pants down and mooned him bare ass. Then took off running. Made it about half a block and got cut off by police cruisers. Dude was cool and laughed it off. He told me to make sure i went to the right house.
A simple story, once was walking down main street drunk as fuk at midnight. I was looking over my shoulder for a cop and as soon as i saw a cop car coming i pulled my pants down and mooned him bare ass. Then took off running. Made it about half a block and got cut off by police cruisers. Dude was cool and laughed it off. He told me to make sure i went to the right house.
02-09-2019, 02:35 AM
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#93
Originally Posted By bsrkoacar⏩
Nice edit. Topic is what you got away with...not what you were stupid enough to get caught doing like comatose driving.Yeah cause im going to confess to crimes on the internet. Sounds like an awesome idea.
I got caught for driving with a .36 bac. This was hours after i quit drinking. Can admit to that cause i was prosecuted... got off with 6 months suspended license, 3 years probation and 100 hours community service. Pretty dumb huh? Still pg to other chit i did
I got caught for driving with a .36 bac. This was hours after i quit drinking. Can admit to that cause i was prosecuted... got off with 6 months suspended license, 3 years probation and 100 hours community service. Pretty dumb huh? Still pg to other chit i did
Go Cubbies! <opening day coming soon>
02-09-2019, 02:43 AM
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#94
02-09-2019, 03:33 AM
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#95
- mobavaly
- Registered User
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- mobavaly
- Registered User
- Join Date: Sep 2018
- Age: 56
- Posts: 83
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So much **** but i was never caught.
- vandalised a school at night time, smashed windows, trashed rooms etc. I was like 10 as well lol.
- vandalised some random dudes apartment during school time, chucked a bucket of paint pretty much everywhere. (Was actually caught for this one)
- stole some nice wheels of a porsche with my mates. As we left with the goods a cop car literally went flying past us and turned quickly into where we were.
- Chucked like a 20 kg stone of a bridge onto a busy highway. Luckily the car saw it and stopped but that was probably the dumbest thing ive done. An hout later the park we stayed at was flooded with cops but we blended in with the croud so we never got caught. Would take it back if i could even no one got hurt.
-masturbated in history class at my back desk while everyone was focused on a documentary on ancient roman war tactics.
- - busted a nut in the back seat of my parents car while tbey drove. Long trip.
-pegged a stone of a hill where i could clearly hear other people down their. Was big enough to kill someone.
- rode my skateboard down a huge road with oncoming cars. No helmet i stacked it and got fuarkked.
-did a back flip of a 10m bridge into water even tjough i clearly knew i didnt know how to do one. That one was painful as ****.
- Used to always go for swims when it was thundering outside
-- Let a bmw x5 run over my foot for lols
-probably alot more but those are what i remember. I was definently a menace to society when i was younger. Im just thankful i never seriously hurt anyone as im so much different today.
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- vandalised a school at night time, smashed windows, trashed rooms etc. I was like 10 as well lol.
- vandalised some random dudes apartment during school time, chucked a bucket of paint pretty much everywhere. (Was actually caught for this one)
- stole some nice wheels of a porsche with my mates. As we left with the goods a cop car literally went flying past us and turned quickly into where we were.
- Chucked like a 20 kg stone of a bridge onto a busy highway. Luckily the car saw it and stopped but that was probably the dumbest thing ive done. An hout later the park we stayed at was flooded with cops but we blended in with the croud so we never got caught. Would take it back if i could even no one got hurt.
-masturbated in history class at my back desk while everyone was focused on a documentary on ancient roman war tactics.
- - busted a nut in the back seat of my parents car while tbey drove. Long trip.
-pegged a stone of a hill where i could clearly hear other people down their. Was big enough to kill someone.
- rode my skateboard down a huge road with oncoming cars. No helmet i stacked it and got fuarkked.
-did a back flip of a 10m bridge into water even tjough i clearly knew i didnt know how to do one. That one was painful as ****.
- Used to always go for swims when it was thundering outside
-- Let a bmw x5 run over my foot for lols
-probably alot more but those are what i remember. I was definently a menace to society when i was younger. Im just thankful i never seriously hurt anyone as im so much different today.
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02-11-2019, 06:38 AM
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#96
- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
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- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
- Join Date: Oct 2010
- Location: Canada
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My buddy climbed to the top of a municipal building, hung his bare ass off the side, and took a schit off the building. We all just stood at the bottom watching the turd hit the pavement with a soft *thud* and laughed like hyenas.
A few of my friends had the tendency to engage in delivering 'upper deckers' in gas station bathrooms. That's when you remove the top of the toilet where the plumbing is, take a schit in there, and put the lid back on. Then, when someone flushes, all your mixed poo infiltrates the toilet like an MI6 spy. Also peeing in soap dispensers in bathrooms. Animals, I tell you.
Come to think of it, there was a lot of poo pranks going around when I was an adolescent. I blame it on the jackass culture at the time.
A few of my friends had the tendency to engage in delivering 'upper deckers' in gas station bathrooms. That's when you remove the top of the toilet where the plumbing is, take a schit in there, and put the lid back on. Then, when someone flushes, all your mixed poo infiltrates the toilet like an MI6 spy. Also peeing in soap dispensers in bathrooms. Animals, I tell you.
Come to think of it, there was a lot of poo pranks going around when I was an adolescent. I blame it on the jackass culture at the time.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
02-11-2019, 06:46 AM
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#97
- WoofieNugget
- Join Date: Jun 2010
- Age: 51
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Had a girl over to my place and had literally just finished a sweaty sex session when I hear a knock on the door. It's my girlfriend unexpectedly (thank god she didn't have a key). Girl I was in bed with knew I had a girlfriend so she grabbed her clothes and ran into the basement storage room to hide. I quickly clean up evidence (wine glasses, clothing, shoes by the door etc.) and answer the door.
Girlfriend comes in and I was shaking in fear for about 20 minutes, especially when she started to get frisky and obviously wanted to go at it. I had to beg off that I was really tired. She didn't notice that there were two plates out in the kitchen thank god. Locked the door and girl downstairs comes back up and thankfully we had a laugh about it and then had sex again.
Girlfriend comes in and I was shaking in fear for about 20 minutes, especially when she started to get frisky and obviously wanted to go at it. I had to beg off that I was really tired. She didn't notice that there were two plates out in the kitchen thank god. Locked the door and girl downstairs comes back up and thankfully we had a laugh about it and then had sex again.
02-11-2019, 06:59 AM
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#98
- ichmagwasser
- Registered User
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- ichmagwasser
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Got a girl pregnant at 16 (lol@pullout method), while she was debating getting an abortion or keeping it, she miscarried.
Never been so secretly happy in my life!
Never been so secretly happy in my life!
“I have become blackpill, destroyer of cope.”
LTC crew
02-11-2019, 07:25 AM
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#99
- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
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- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
- Join Date: Oct 2010
- Location: Canada
- Posts: 57,269
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Last two posts = class acts!
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
02-11-2019, 07:45 AM
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#100
- lildave
- Registered User
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- lildave
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- Location: Calgary, BC, Canada
- Age: 44
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I would drink and drive the odd time when I was younger. Actually had a cop follow me from the bar back home one time but I managed to pull it off. Now I won't even have one drink and get behind the wheel. Getting in trouble is one thing. Not sure I could live with myself if I killed or hurt someone.
02-11-2019, 08:16 AM
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#101
- Max1mu5
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- Max1mu5
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Met this girl when I was 19, she was 17.
phucked on the first date after a classy nandos, i went in without any protection srs
After dating her for a bit found out she was baby crazy, the type to pose with her aunts baby on FB with a maniacal smile. When I broke it off with her she threatened to burn my house down......never stick it in crazy brahs, i could have been shackled to that crazy bich for life.
phucked on the first date after a classy nandos, i went in without any protection srs
After dating her for a bit found out she was baby crazy, the type to pose with her aunts baby on FB with a maniacal smile. When I broke it off with her she threatened to burn my house down......never stick it in crazy brahs, i could have been shackled to that crazy bich for life.
Misc ninja
Thumbhead brah
Northern Irish Brah
02-11-2019, 08:23 AM
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#102
- SirFapsAIot
- YEAH YOU MAD
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- SirFapsAIot
- YEAH YOU MAD
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back when I used to be a pimp in Smack City I pissed in the ass of a cop car when they were trying to arrest me and steal my smack city dollaz, so I smacked the fuk out of the swat unit they sent to take me down and pissed the fuk out of there asap, you can't outrun the long arm of the law, but you can smack it and piss on the hand so it's slippery and you get away. Pimp of Ass, Smack City, LLC homie.
Dr. Ass Pimp Smack
aka
Dr. Smackenstein
Dr. Ass Pimp Smack
aka
Dr. Smackenstein
02-13-2019, 12:54 PM
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#103
- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
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- lightsarefallin
- Nukem
- Join Date: Oct 2010
- Location: Canada
- Posts: 57,269
- Rep Power: 504833
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I'll admit I once banged a girl I became friends with in a tent after a drunken camping night with some friends. We had made out 2 nights before during a town festival when we were both loaded. That camping night, she told me she was interested in someone else and didn't want to pursue this, but after a couple of drinks, she was practically dragging me to the tent (lol)
To make a long story short, this was my first time banging a girl, and years of regular masturbation (and drunkenness) made it so I couldn't nut. I banged her for 2.5 hours straight, absolutely could not get off, gave up, exited the tent, and made my way home drunk as schit as the early, opaque and gentle color of summer dawn light began to hazily caress the horizon.
However, there was nothing gentle about the color of my balls. I've never had such bad blue balls in my life. Could barely walk out of those woods. Feelsbatman.jpeg that this is my losing virginity story. I saw her a few weeks later at the store she worked in part time when I was with my parents. I hadn't spoken to her since that night. Needless to mention, that schit was so awkward.
And the reason this makes it an irresponsible story of my youth is because I wasn't wearing a rubber. I consider myself a really responsible guy, but alcohol made me abandon all fuks. I remember asking her where guys usually cum with her. She said, and I quote, "either in me or on my face." We were both teenagers. I'm lucky I didn't get an STD. Dead srs.
To make a long story short, this was my first time banging a girl, and years of regular masturbation (and drunkenness) made it so I couldn't nut. I banged her for 2.5 hours straight, absolutely could not get off, gave up, exited the tent, and made my way home drunk as schit as the early, opaque and gentle color of summer dawn light began to hazily caress the horizon.
However, there was nothing gentle about the color of my balls. I've never had such bad blue balls in my life. Could barely walk out of those woods. Feelsbatman.jpeg that this is my losing virginity story. I saw her a few weeks later at the store she worked in part time when I was with my parents. I hadn't spoken to her since that night. Needless to mention, that schit was so awkward.
And the reason this makes it an irresponsible story of my youth is because I wasn't wearing a rubber. I consider myself a really responsible guy, but alcohol made me abandon all fuks. I remember asking her where guys usually cum with her. She said, and I quote, "either in me or on my face." We were both teenagers. I'm lucky I didn't get an STD. Dead srs.
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
02-13-2019, 01:02 PM
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#104
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