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Forum » Borderline Personality Disorder - Help a Brah
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Thread: Borderline Personality Disorder - Help a Brah

post 1590053061 10-19-2019, 11:05 PM
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Originally Posted By DJKhaled⏩
You've never truly knew anyone with BPD then. Its more than just being a "mean and bad person." These people are truly messed up and crazy. Someone who is just a mean person doesn't rapidly switch moods every hour and minute. They also don't lack the ability to assign both positive and negative traits to a person at the same time. Whereas someone with BPD will go from loving you to hating you multiple times per day depending on the slightest trigger. For example, you get off the phone with them and they adulate you, then they text you later that day and you don't respond within 15 minutes and suddenly they hate you and you're the worst person ever.
****ing THIS!
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post 1590053281 10-19-2019, 11:14 PM
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No kidding, just had another episode tonight. I've head an appointment with the counselor for first thing Monday, gonna figure out how to end this thing.
Laconic
post 1590053671 10-19-2019, 11:33 PM
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Dated a girl with BPD. Knew her from growing up (similar social circles), dated her in my mid 20s. The relationship will be good for a little bit but it will dissolve into constant conflict and chaos. I never want to go through that **** again. Like legit was about to get a restraining order. Her ex-bf's had the same experience.

One of my majors was psych so I have some academic knowledge on the disorder. This is knowledge from 2008, but my professors that were clinicians said it's basically untreatable, to the point where psychiatrists would refuse to treat patients that had a history of the disorder.
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post 1590059421 10-20-2019, 05:16 AM
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Originally Posted By xvicknumber7x⏩
like seriously we are warning you all for a reason. these traits need to be recognized because getting involved with someone with this condition, unfortunately, could very likely end in disaster for you.

like I am all for giving the benefit of the doubt, etc. and seeing the best in people (my job revolves around this,) but as a man and not a therapist, i am telling you:run, dont walk, in the opposite direction of those who have bpd.
I hear you brother. I'm definitely going to talk to the counselor Monday about a transition plan.
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post 1590059911 10-20-2019, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted By BalkanBulker⏩
After being in a relationship with 3, 100% srs, only option is, block. Ghost. NC.

After my first 1, I learned the hard way. Once i spotted it in the other 2, I walked immediately and ignored all attempts to lure me back.

The problem is, these girls are almost always extremely attractive and the sex, is the best you’ll have. That’s why weak men keep getting lured back, into the trap.

Even when I finally got the first one into help/support, because she was a pathological liar, it was a waste of time. She just lied on every question she was asked, so wasn’t diagnosed with anything or seen to have any issues.

These girls run purely off impulse.
Very attractive, great teds, good sex. Weird thing is, and it's actually the first thing I noticed, was that she treated sex in a servile way rather than a mutual thing. And no it wasn't role playing or anything like that, it was like she NEEDED to do this or that and made it super weird for me.
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post 1590060681 10-20-2019, 06:18 AM
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Originally Posted By DJKhaled⏩
You've never truly knew anyone with BPD then. Its more than just being a "mean and bad person." These people are truly messed up and crazy. Someone who is just a mean person doesn't rapidly switch moods every hour and minute. They also don't lack the ability to assign both positive and negative traits to a person at the same time. Whereas someone with BPD will go from loving you to hating you multiple times per day depending on the slightest trigger. For example, you get off the phone with them and they adulate you, then they text you later that day and you don't respond within 15 minutes and suddenly they hate you and you're the worst person ever.
I deal with this at home all the time now. It's very tough.
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post 1590061091 10-20-2019, 06:38 AM
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#97
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Originally Posted By WishIWasJawBrah⏩
Do people with bipolar self harm?
Not typically, but moods can become so low that it's a possibility.

I have it and almost did...got IVCd. Mine comes with some psychotic symptoms as well, and reality can become very confusing. So much so, that it's hard to describe. Things would seem magical.

Medications help a lot...but it has been a real struggle to find the right combination and the right ones. Sometimes they would be effective for a while and then stop.

Supposedly bipolar responds fairly well long term to the right medication.

I'm married, kids, good job. It's been a real struggle and I've almost lost it all before. Doing well now. Have to be 100% abstinent from alcohol, though.

I've had seizures and catatonia too...slightly afraid it is schizophrenia progressing but if that is the case there's little I can do.

A lot of these conditions imo are still poorly understood.

The classification is not as solid as everyone would like, and neither are the treatment options.

Idk about BPD...it seems really tough.

Bipolar can be really impulsive during mania. You can do risky and dangerous things and not care. Like, I've walked 50 miles in 24 hours twice before during mania.

Climbed a small mountain (walk up mountain) with a 55 lbs kettlebell in 7 degrees where I could have easily fallen off. Outrun a police in a motor vehicle (a long time ago).

You can become like the incredible hulk. I would love to enter a Judo tournament in full mania. Bursts of creativity...I'll paint and draw for days, write and play music on end.

And the lows can be so bad you can't get out of bed. Or you seriously consider leaving.

It's a tough road and tough on the people around you.
post 1590061401 10-20-2019, 06:50 AM
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I know they have been working on genetic testing for psychoactive medications.

Perhaps that is something that could help with BPD.

I don't know what if any medication they would take, though.

There are mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that are really powerful...idk if those are appropriate, though.

I'd like to say not to abandon hope, though. Having experienced some rather extreme symptoms of mental illness myself and still being...well, alive and now doing pretty well I do have some faith in psychiatrists and DBT and CBT.

Good luck to OP and his girl.
post 1590065301 10-20-2019, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted By GreatOldOne⏩
I know they have been working on genetic testing for psychoactive medications.

Perhaps that is something that could help with BPD.

I don't know what if any medication they would take, though.

There are mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that are really powerful...idk if those are appropriate, though.

I'd like to say not to abandon hope, though. Having experienced some rather extreme symptoms of mental illness myself and still being...well, alive and now doing pretty well I do have some faith in psychiatrists and DBT and CBT.

Good luck to OP and his girl.
Thanks for that man, but I wanted to get married, have four or five years of us enjoying each other before kids... Now I'm three years into the the marriage with the fake person and thinking I might have to start over with anyone else. She can't handle kids. She can't. Deep down I know that even if she makes a ton of progress, she won't be able to handle the emotions that come with kids. She's barely been able to make it with me, and I'm very supportive, level headed, and forgiving.
Laconic
post 1590067211 10-20-2019, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted By macrocrunch⏩
Very attractive, great teds, good sex. Weird thing is, and it's actually the first thing I noticed, was that she treated sex in a servile way rather than a mutual thing. And no it wasn't role playing or anything like that, it was like she NEEDED to do this or that and made it super weird for me.
That's funny you say that. My ex with BPD was the same way with sex. It felt like a servile thing instead of a mutual thing. Like I had to serve her needs.

Eventually near the end of the relationship she, no chit, started calling herself a "princess" or "queen" and would say chit like "come serve your queen"
post 1590067381 10-20-2019, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted By macrocrunch⏩
Thanks for that man, but I wanted to get married, have four or five years of us enjoying each other before kids... Now I'm three years into the the marriage with the fake person and thinking I might have to start over with anyone else. She can't handle kids. She can't. Deep down I know that even if she makes a ton of progress, she won't be able to handle the emotions that come with kids. She's barely been able to make it with me, and I'm very supportive, level headed, and forgiving.
You're right about that. The emotions that come with having kids will make her worse. Also menopause will be a nightmare with her.
post 1590071461 10-20-2019, 11:42 AM
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Just saw some pics of my ex (through a mutual friend's social media account) enjoying and partying it up this weekend. She looked amazing in the pics ffs.

It's unreal how they can seem normal, innocent, sweet and social in group settings.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm the one who was crazy because it seriously looks like this girl is having the time of her life while I'm still struggling over the break-up. And this girl hates my guts now and won't even look or acknowledge at me when I see her at a mutual social group but at the same time she' so friendly and social with everyone else.

I can't even understand it.
post 1590080141 10-20-2019, 02:30 PM
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#103
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Originally Posted By DJKhaled⏩
That's funny you say that. My ex with BPD was the same way with sex. It felt like a servile thing instead of a mutual thing. Like I had to serve her needs.

Eventually near the end of the relationship she, no chit, started calling herself a "princess" or "queen" and would say chit like "come serve your queen"
Interesting. With her it's the inverse, she shows me through everything in our relationship, that she needs to "serve" me and it's... Icky.
Laconic
post 1590082541 10-20-2019, 03:14 PM
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#104
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Originally Posted By DJKhaled⏩
You're right about that. The emotions that come with having kids will make her worse. Also menopause will be a nightmare with her.
Damn I didn't even think about menopause
Laconic
post 1590083361 10-20-2019, 03:28 PM
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#105
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oh boyo run fast and never look back

fast
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post 1590084071 10-20-2019, 03:44 PM
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#106
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Originally Posted By UknowWho11⏩
oh boyo run fast and never look back

fast
Nice edit haha
Laconic
post 1590085211 10-20-2019, 04:03 PM
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Sounds like a real fun way to spend your life.

Also, I'm totally sure she'd be willing to put up with the same crap from you. Totally!
post 1590085551 10-20-2019, 04:07 PM
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Originally Posted By WishIWasJawBrah⏩
How do you differentiate bpd from bipolar?
Completely different. Bipolar people tend to have periods of extreme highs followed by periods of crippling depression, and periods in between where they are basically normal. A lot of the time they can lead normal lives. They are also not evil, soul-sucking demons which is the way people tend to describe BPDs.

Oh and bipolar often responds to medication.
Originally Posted By WishIWasJawBrah⏩
Do people with bipolar self harm?
Not in my sample size of two. Sure it's possible because the depression phase is really bad.
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post 1590085581 10-20-2019, 04:08 PM
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#109
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Originally Posted By Nonsense916⏩
You’re gonna catch a DV case
This, it happened to me when I dated a bpd girl for 5 years

She’s gonna fuk you over in every way possibly whether you think she will or not

We warned you, up to you to decide how much time you wanna waste
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post 1590085841 10-20-2019, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted By MiscInformed⏩
on a scale of "worstness"...

psychopath > malignant narcissist > BPD > ordninary narcissist > bipolar (aka manic-depressive)

BPD and above are the sort of people who can/will ruin or end your life.
I read an article by a therapist who said something like "malignant narcissists are worse for the people around than than most sociopaths" because the majority of sociopaths aren't serial killers, they just have zero empathy. Whereas the malignant narcissist actively ruins lives.
"A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
post 1590088601 10-20-2019, 04:55 PM
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#111
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Not every liar has an illness

some people are just dikheads
post 1590090211 10-20-2019, 05:22 PM
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#112
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Originally Posted By RealAesthetic⏩
This, it happened to me when I dated a bpd girl for 5 years

She’s gonna fuk you over in every way possibly whether you think she will or not

We warned you, up to you to decide how much time you wanna waste
What kept you around and what finally made you leave? What was your breaking point?
Laconic
post 1590090651 10-20-2019, 05:28 PM
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#113
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Married one worst 4 years of my life. Took me a long time to figure out she was evil and nothing I could do.
post 1590090941 10-20-2019, 05:33 PM
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Why have so many folks on here had a similar experience or been in a relationship with someone like this? Is it because we are more likely to be the type of personality that they seek out?
Laconic
post 1590091721 10-20-2019, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted By macrocrunch⏩
Why have so many folks on here had a similar experience or been in a relationship with someone like this? Is it because we are more likely to be the type of personality that they seek out?
Not sure really. Perhaps its just must more common than thought in women? Especially considering how many broken households there are these days and higher chances for childhood trauma that can trigger something like BPD. BPD is already statistically more common in women, where men tend to have NPD instead.
post 1590093361 10-20-2019, 06:09 PM
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Originally Posted By JewSeeJohn⏩
Stems from being abandoned by somebody important in their life, most usually a male.. could be father, boyfriend, or husband
Her pops left for a year or so when she was little, came back eventually. Also she was molested by her make cousin from 3-10 years old.

Fun fact, I knew none of this until about a year in to marriage.
Laconic
post 1590093691 10-20-2019, 06:15 PM
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Misc nailed it in this thread. I've experienced it as well and lots of these stories could be my own.

Run. Just run. No matter what they say/do to get back with you needs to be ignored.
post 1590094681 10-20-2019, 06:34 PM
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#118
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Originally Posted By JeepBruh⏩
Misc nailed it in this thread. I've experienced it as well and lots of these stories could be my own.

Run. Just run. No matter what they say/do to get back with you needs to be ignored.
why is misc always right
Laconic
post 1590094711 10-20-2019, 06:35 PM
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Lol, you never hear "we worked on it and things got better".
post 1590096751 10-20-2019, 07:07 PM
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#120
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Originally Posted By JeepBruh⏩
Misc nailed it in this thread. I've experienced it as well and lots of these stories could be my own.

Run. Just run. No matter what they say/do to get back with you needs to be ignored.
If they stay typically they don't think they're going to get a girl as good looking or they also have mental issues they have not dealt with yet. #ProveMeWrong
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