Least u honest mayne

it's really my own fault, it came from within my own flaws. I always focus on hot, fashionable girls and am deep down a sucker for girls that need to be taken care of. I guess it used to fulfill my ego and also give me purpose, and I've always been a people-pleaser since growing up my parents were not the best and quite cold. I've gone to therapy since, and have been working through it. but that's what it comes down to a lot of the time, realizing you're the reason you're still stuck with this psycho chick and then breaking through your thought patterns and weaknesses and growing strong enough to leave and not chase those things in the future. but it definitely left me with some sadness in my heart and a quite a knock on my confidence and ability to trust others.

it's really my own fault, it came from within my own flaws. I always focus on hot, fashionable girls and am deep down a sucker for girls that need to be taken care of. I guess it used to fulfill my ego and also give me purpose, and I've always been a people-pleaser since growing up my parents were not the best and quite cold. I've gone to therapy since, and have been working through it. but that's what it comes down to a lot of the time, realizing you're the reason you're still stuck with this psycho chick and then breaking through your thought patterns and weaknesses and growing strong enough to leave and not chase those things in the future. but it definitely left me with some sadness in my heart and a quite a knock on my confidence and ability to trust others.

it's really my own fault, it came from within my own flaws. I always focus on hot, fashionable girls and am deep down a sucker for girls that need to be taken care of. I guess it used to fulfill my ego and also give me purpose, and I've always been a people-pleaser since growing up my parents were not the best and quite cold. I've gone to therapy since, and have been working through it. but that's what it comes down to a lot of the time, realizing you're the reason you're still stuck with this psycho chick and then breaking through your thought patterns and weaknesses and growing strong enough to leave and not chase those things in the future. but it definitely left me with some sadness in my heart and a quite a knock on my confidence and ability to trust others.

Good for you man, this is a lot of self-awareness. People who get into relationships with BPDs need to take a hard and long look at themselves. Hope nothing but the best for you.

Something that can be helpful to keep in mind with BPD is its familial association (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150490/) meaning that it runs in families.

I dated a woman for two years whom I suspect has BPD and has not been diagnosed. Her mother has it and has been in therapy for it and appeared to find it helpful; she certainly was more stable, at times, than my ex-girlfriend. I had hoped that the family history would have served as a bridge, and; that my ex would have been more open to acknowledging her disposition and eventually engaging in strategies to help manage it. I, unfortunately, neglected to consider the fragility of her ego and the extents that she would go to in order to maintain it.

She projected her own toxicity onto others; constantly accusing the people who cared about her of disingenuously trying to take advantage. She made a routine of poisoning her relationships, one transgression at a time, until they reached a threshold of toxicity and she would then disengage. Each of her relationships, whether it be with a coworker, friend, best friend, family member, me as her boyfriend, etc, was somewhere on the cycle of being slowly poisoned or on a cool down. Eventually it got so bad that the only two major relationships that she was focused on was her relationship with me and her relationship with her mother. I continued to urge her to seek professional help, for her own benefit and for the sake of our relationship, however; nothing that I said could ever penetrate.

I often felt like I was speaking a different language and the absolute inability to effectively communicate eventually wore me down. She was convinced that I was the literal embodiment of every wrong she had been done. Her projection of her own toxicity onto others allowed her to then displace onto them the stresses that her ego could not stand to bear. I spent a lot of time pondering the question of how someone whom was presumed to hate me so much would go to lengths to keep me around and it eventually started to really get to me. I began to hate myself for all of the trauma that I caused and, at that point, I had to get out. We lived together at the time and there was no immediate economical exit strategy. We seemed to have come to an agreement to keep things cool until the end of the month and we would both go separate ways.

Cliffs for the story time ahead: didn't happen.

I was awakened to her viciously mounting the bed and striking me in the face. She gave me a black eye. I hopped out of bed, naked, and found myself cornered against the wall as she continued to lunge at me, screaming and holding my phone in one of her hands. She alleged to have caught me cheating on her (I wasn't - the notification she is presumed to have seen was from my roommate who had forgotten his keys and was in an uber home), destroyed my phone, and then threw it at me as I attempted to cover up and get out of the house. She had me backing up through the living room, trying to get my underwear on, when she ducked into the kitchen. I ran out the door. Halfway down the street I heard the door open, turned to look back, and saw her coming with a knife. Ran all through the neighborhood and lay low while she threw all of my things out of the window.

Someone evidently called the police and they took statements from the both of us. She said that it was just a disagreement that never got physical; I provided my battered face, shattered phone, and sidewalk full of belongings as proof of battery and destruction of property. The cops concluded that, since they weren't witness to the battery, the destruction of my phone, or the depositing of my belongings on the sidewalk, and because our stories were in disagreement, that nothing warranted their actual involvement. They did, however; order me to surrender my key to the house. I complied and left to find a parking lot to sleep in before returning the next day, with police, to recover the rest of my things. She had conveniently tossed everything, including my refrigerator and two car seats, into a neat pile in the backyard, on top of my scooter. Police didn't seem to find any issue with that, nor would they allow me into the house to retrieve any of the specific items that I had not found in the pile. Cut my losses and took off.

At the time I was working at a local high school and she knew that the coming Monday was the first day back from spring break. She and her brother drove onto the school grounds, broke into my truck, and she smeared her literal feces all over the inside of my vehicle and then posted about it on instagram. The school resource officer was mandated to report the crime as it occurred on school grounds, during school hours, and involved a school employee (me). At that point I felt it necessary to get a restraining order. The judge granted an immediate order of protection on my word alone, and the next judge saw fit to extend the order for the year after hearing both hers and my accounts. The last I saw of her was at that hearing. I never wish to see her or hear from her or her family ever again. Both her and her brother are on court ordered pretrial probation as a result of two felony counts, each, for the incident with the truck.

Stay safe.

Girl I dated for a month caused me more emotional pain than any human has ever done to me