Thread: Matches have pretty much died ³
10-16-2020, 09:34 PM
#121
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
TFW hinge is nothing but harpooning in my area.
#1 Hinge
#2 CMB
The rest are trash.
#2 CMB
The rest are trash.
Guess i really need to jump on CMB. Any opportune time best?
MFC
Misc Cologne Crew | **BBC** | Aventus Friday Crew
RIP YGST
- twovalvekid
- N3rd Op3rator
-
- twovalvekid
- N3rd Op3rator
- Join Date: Sep 2013
- Location: Saratoga Springs, New York, United States
- Posts: 24,929
- Rep Power: 436,322
-
Quote
10-16-2020, 09:52 PM
#122
Originally Posted By wutevs⏩
What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.
Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol
Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol
I meant fk boys lol my phone did amazing at autocorrect. Nothing wrong with casual dating (: I’d just keep your expectations to reality lol
I met maybe around 10 in person. Just make sure it’s in public and trust your gut feeling.
-SS is jealous of me crew-
-SS is my hater crew-
CremeFraicheBro is my love <3
⋆100+ lbs down⋆ ✦5’10”✦
〜(^∇^〜）HW 360lbs - CW 172lbs（〜^∇^)〜
Join the Boyos Discord;
https://discord.gg/P5jAXWfN4h
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
-
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
- Join Date: Nov 2014
- Posts: 4,253
- Rep Power: 85,240
-
10-17-2020, 07:15 AM
#123
Originally Posted By wutevs⏩
Nope, haven't seriously been on apps in many years. Every blue moon I'll download one and take a look through and then delete within a day. Even when I was on them 5 years ago I'd be on for a month or two, get disgusted, get off, then try again. lol I just really dislike the whole thing. It's so hard to find someone that you really click with.
Do ya not use dating apps anymore? Yeah, I've been on a first date at this fancy schmancy restaurant once and the guy went all out. Bill was prob $200 just for dinner, I offered to pay my portion and he didn't let me. Felt really bad cus I wasn't feeling him. Much less guilt if a guy buys me a burrito bowl and it doesn't work out lol
What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.
Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol
I'd pass on that. Something I've learned over the years (doesn't even have to do with dating), is that people will make time for what's important to them. No one is so busy that they can't carve some time out for a lunch/dinner date. Pretty chitty of her to waste your time though to only say she's too busy to fit you into her schedule.
What are flyer boys? Lol. No idea what I'm looking for, prob just casual dating right now till I find someone I really hit it off with. Not sure when I'll download the app but def trying not to have too much expectations.
Have you met many guys from these apps? I'm always wary about meeting strangers lol
I'd pass on that. Something I've learned over the years (doesn't even have to do with dating), is that people will make time for what's important to them. No one is so busy that they can't carve some time out for a lunch/dinner date. Pretty chitty of her to waste your time though to only say she's too busy to fit you into her schedule.
Never meet for meals for a first meet. I've gone to dinner with guys I've met IRL. Because I already know I'm interested. Pretty much always meet in a public place. I met a lot of guys and never had a problem or felt unsafe.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-17-2020, 03:47 PM
#124
Out with the girl on 2nd date. She’s touching my leg, added me on FB etc - guess she’s interested eh, hopefully not too crazy.
Also, I might be a little drunk.
Also, I might be a little drunk.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-17-2020, 07:26 PM
#125
I took a break from hinge and came back. They went from charging 20 bucks for premium to 40 where I’m at. The fuk. I guess they are taking advantage of everyone on there because of corona..
- InsanePain11
- brb Acquiring gains
-
- InsanePain11
- brb Acquiring gains
- Join Date: Aug 2007
- Location: United States
- Posts: 7,053
- Rep Power: 17,400
-
10-17-2020, 07:29 PM
#126
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Sounds promising!
Out with the girl on 2nd date. She’s touching my leg, added me on FB etc - guess she’s interested eh, hopefully not too crazy.
Also, I might be a little drunk.
Also, I might be a little drunk.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-17-2020, 10:55 PM
#127
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.
Sounds promising!
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 07:59 AM
#128
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Glad to hear that it was a good night, man.
Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
- brightbrah
- Misc's Supreme BMW Driver
-
- brightbrah
- Misc's Supreme BMW Driver
- Join Date: May 2014
- Location: Ohio, Antarctica
- Posts: 2,146
- Rep Power: 7,703
-
10-18-2020, 08:45 AM
#129
Originally Posted By luc1fer⏩
gjdm
had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if i still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - i don't want to get attached too quickly, but i also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so i tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if i still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - i don't want to get attached too quickly, but i also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so i tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
Positive vibes crew
NYC crew
10-18-2020, 08:55 AM
#130
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Nice. FHRITP.
Had a good day, several more hours together - brought her back to mine, and we had sex. I don't think she expected to be having sex tbh (she was embarrassed about her panties lol), but the chemistry was high.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
Some light signs of possessiveness; asked me if I still talked to my ex. So she's appearing very high interest.
I always feel a bit weird in these situations - I don't want to get attached too quickly, but I also don't want her to. I know that her feelings technically isn't my responsibility but we barely know each other, so I tend to take a somewhat realistic position early during that honeymoon period to protect expectations and emotions.
MFC
Misc Cologne Crew | **BBC** | Aventus Friday Crew
RIP YGST
- twovalvekid
- N3rd Op3rator
-
- twovalvekid
- N3rd Op3rator
- Join Date: Sep 2013
- Location: Saratoga Springs, New York, United States
- Posts: 24,929
- Rep Power: 436,322
-
10-18-2020, 09:03 AM
#131
Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly
how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman?
I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 09:07 AM
#132
^^ as a complete aside, after typing that I recognize what a complete piece of **** my recent ex is. She knew I respected her and the relationship, and would NEVER meet up with women behind her back. Yet she did it… it's fuked up.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 09:40 AM
#133
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
That's true. I'm on Bumble and Hinge but rarely swipe on them. My schedule is crazy and I'm going camping next week with my adventure group and sailing the next weekend after. I guess they have taken away time from dating apps. So far I haven't met anyone I like in the adventure group, but it beats staying home swiping. Camping will be easier to meet people as we will spend a lot of time together. Even a new friend is good. I signed up for stand-up paddleboarding again in the ocean, too. There's kayaking and surfing. I did the surfing. The problem is that I have friends from my high school in the adventure group, so I end up talking to them more than others. Luckily they won't be on the camping trip.
Why even bother being on dating apps then? I'd guess that if it was someone you were really interested in, you'd find the time and energy to see them.
I'm in kind of a depressed mode lately where I want to work on myself first before meeting anyone else. Just a lot of bad things have happened lately. But yeah I'm sure it isn't fun for those who swipe on me and get nothing or delayed responses.
- DustinTheHuss
- Banned
-
- DustinTheHuss
- Banned
- Join Date: May 2019
- Posts: 15,169
- Rep Power: 0
-
10-18-2020, 09:47 AM
#134
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I thought you were on the pro exclusive side when it comes to sex? I'll never be that person that has sex with multiple guys so will never understand the mindset when it comes to having multiple partners.
Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly
how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman?
I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-18-2020, 10:02 AM
#135
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I am on the pro exclusive side. Just curious, because it's confusing to me.
I thought you were on the pro exclusive side when it comes to sex? I'll never be that person that has sex with multiple guys so will never understand the mindset when it comes to having multiple partners.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 11:33 AM
#136
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”
Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly
how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman?
I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
-SS is jealous of me crew-
-SS is my hater crew-
CremeFraicheBro is my love <3
⋆100+ lbs down⋆ ✦5’10”✦
〜(^∇^〜）HW 360lbs - CW 172lbs（〜^∇^)〜
Join the Boyos Discord;
https://discord.gg/P5jAXWfN4h
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
-
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
- Join Date: Nov 2014
- Posts: 4,253
- Rep Power: 85,240
-
10-18-2020, 12:23 PM
#137
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.
I am on the pro exclusive side. Just curious, because it's confusing to me.
Originally Posted By FemaleWarriorxo⏩
I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.
I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-18-2020, 12:28 PM
#138
Originally Posted By FemaleWarriorxo⏩
I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.
I think most people think “well if they are doing it then I’m doing it too”
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.
I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.
I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.
I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.
However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.
I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 01:15 PM
#139
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Yeah, I agree it's a hard conversation to start. People might think oh, they just want to immediately be boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing which is not at all what my intention of being physically exclusive is about. We're all adults, we have sex drives. I don't want to wait 3, 6, or whatever months that it would take to say "we're in a relationship" but I also want to know my health is safe with that person because they're not out f'ing around. I also don't want to have sex with someone who has no interest in the possibility of it turning into a relationship down the road. I think it's a good way to weed those kind of people out.
I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.
I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.
However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.
I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.
I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.
However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.
I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-18-2020, 02:52 PM
#140
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I'll probably invent and start to use the term "proactive selection" because I think this is a good example.
Yeah, I agree it's a hard conversation to start. People might think oh, they just want to immediately be boyfriend/girlfriend kind of thing which is not at all what my intention of being physically exclusive is about. We're all adults, we have sex drives. I don't want to wait 3, 6, or whatever months that it would take to say "we're in a relationship" but I also want to know my health is safe with that person because they're not out f'ing around. I also don't want to have sex with someone who has no interest in the possibility of it turning into a relationship down the road. I think it's a good way to weed those kind of people out.
The type of woman that responds well to my boundary, is more likely to be the type of woman that I want to be with long term. And vice versa.
With proactive selection, you will lose more women than you would otherwise, but you'll also be more likely to be attractive to the right ones.
This is a concept I heard years ago and it resonated with me. Too many people think of dating as maximizing your pool; unfortunately that pool is full of poop.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 03:44 PM
#141
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
That's a great term for it and I totally agree with everything you said.
I'll probably invent and start to use the term "proactive selection" because I think this is a good example.
The type of woman that responds well to my boundary, is more likely to be the type of woman that I want to be with long term. And vice versa.
With proactive selection, you will lose more women than you would otherwise, but you'll also be more likely to be attractive to the right ones.
This is a concept I heard years ago and it resonated with me. Too many people think of dating as maximizing your pool; unfortunately that pool is full of poop.
The type of woman that responds well to my boundary, is more likely to be the type of woman that I want to be with long term. And vice versa.
With proactive selection, you will lose more women than you would otherwise, but you'll also be more likely to be attractive to the right ones.
This is a concept I heard years ago and it resonated with me. Too many people think of dating as maximizing your pool; unfortunately that pool is full of poop.
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-18-2020, 04:46 PM
#142
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I’d say you hit the nail on the head.
I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
I agree with you on the top part also mama legz.
I really hope you don't turn into one of those guys. It always gives me hope to know there are some (albeit few) people out there who share my same thoughts on this.
I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.
I think that's why it's good to talk about up front. That way you know if you're both of the same page and there's no misunderstanding or assumptions.
It’s always good to talk up front. I always try to and most of the time it keeps the time wasters away.
On a side note. My job offered me a position at the Newport Beach research center. Don’t know if Cali would be my thing. Especially since it’s mostly liberal men there. Also want to be around my niece since she’s coming February.
-SS is jealous of me crew-
-SS is my hater crew-
CremeFraicheBro is my love <3
⋆100+ lbs down⋆ ✦5’10”✦
〜(^∇^〜）HW 360lbs - CW 172lbs（〜^∇^)〜
Join the Boyos Discord;
https://discord.gg/P5jAXWfN4h
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
-
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
- Join Date: Nov 2014
- Posts: 4,253
- Rep Power: 85,240
-
10-18-2020, 05:16 PM
#143
Originally Posted By FemaleWarriorxo⏩
Ye, you might hate it if you're single. I'm leaving asap.
On a side note. My job offered me a position at the Newport Beach research center. Don’t know if Cali would be my thing. Especially since it’s mostly liberal men there. Also want to be around my niece since she’s coming February.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 05:45 PM
#144
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Yee. That’s what I was thinking about even with making new friends. At least I have a few conservative friends now. I can’t imagine how hard it’ll be in Cali. I’d rather stick in Michigan.
Ye, you might hate it if you're single. I'm leaving asap.
I don’t blame you for wanting to leave. However, if you are wanting to leave Cali then do you expect your LTR lady to dip out of Cali also?
-SS is jealous of me crew-
-SS is my hater crew-
CremeFraicheBro is my love <3
⋆100+ lbs down⋆ ✦5’10”✦
〜(^∇^〜）HW 360lbs - CW 172lbs（〜^∇^)〜
Join the Boyos Discord;
https://discord.gg/P5jAXWfN4h
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
-
- FemaleWarriorxo
- Whale whale whale...
- Join Date: Nov 2014
- Posts: 4,253
- Rep Power: 85,240
-
10-18-2020, 05:48 PM
#145
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
If you start having sex regularly (weekly) and monogamy doesn't happen even without "the conversation" then you were probably never on the same page to begin with.
I suspect defensiveness is part of it, I know the thought crossed my mind before. Why am I holding back, if she's potentially doing it. So that's why I just set my expectations upfront. If she is going to break them, then she has to explicitly lie. And it's more difficult to explicitly lie than avoid the conversation.
I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.
However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.
I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.
I can't escape that fact that it's shady on some level, unless both parties have explicit and open conversations about it.
However, I think most guys (or girls) intentionally avoid the conversation. And most people are too afraid of seeming clingy/insecure by asking the questions.
I think it's incredibly secure to set boundaries and get the information you require, for your physical and emotional health.
- skinnyfat88
- Registered User
-
- skinnyfat88
- Registered User
- Join Date: Apr 2014
- Location: Canada
- Age: 36
- Posts: 5,016
- Rep Power: 27,255
-
10-18-2020, 05:59 PM
#146
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Why do you feel guilt? Uncondition your mind, try meditating, and don’t listen to these outdated female virtual signalers ITT.
Question for guys with high counts, that evidently slept around. Firstly
how do you deal with the natural escalation over time with a woman?
I assume you have to keep her at some sort of distance.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
Every new girl I date, we tend to grow more intimate and closer over time. Even now, I'd feel guilty if I had sex with another girl – hell, I feel a bit guilty right now about meeting up with other girls.
Second question: Do you just not feel this guilt of being with multiple women while one may be getting attached, and figure that technically what you're doing is fine?
Not that I desire it, but I know technically I'm free to meet up with and have sex with other women; however I'd feel so guilty because it might hurt this girl to discover that.
Men since the dawn of time have courted multiple women at the same time, only people who have been sold on these 1920 movie fantasies believe otherwise.
Biologically speaking it is in a mans best interest to connect with as many women as possible, before choosing one, and the opposite is for women.
Back on topic, I don’t feel guilt and never will personally. I don’t lie and straight up tell girls I am talking with other women and if they talk with other men I don’t get upset or jealous either.
Even if you don’t have this talk, I still wouldn’t see why you would feel guilt as neither of you owe each other any exclusivity without having talked about it.
I’m not here to convince you to change your ways, but I do think you should look inside yourself as to why you feel bad about something, that objectively speaking is morally fine.
10-18-2020, 06:39 PM
#147
Yup I matched with a hottie and all of a sudden my sex drive returned. That must have been it. I lowered my standards to find a more relationship oriented type but I had no sex drive to go out with any of them.
- DustinTheHuss
- Banned
-
- DustinTheHuss
- Banned
- Join Date: May 2019
- Posts: 15,169
- Rep Power: 0
-
10-18-2020, 07:14 PM
#148
Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
This is the type of vagueness I’m referring to. Just be direct, and drop the “probably”.
If you start having sex regularly (weekly) and monogamy doesn't happen even without "the conversation" then you were probably never on the same page to begin with.
Why not just be direct?
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
10-18-2020, 07:21 PM
#149
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I'm with Luci. I think honesty and directness are important. I feel like people don't do this because they want that vagueness because they're sketchy. They want their cake and want to eat it too.
This is the type of vagueness I’m referring to. Just be direct, and drop the “probably”.
Why not just be direct?
Why not just be direct?
~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~
10-18-2020, 07:25 PM
#150
Originally Posted By Legz422⏩
Sounds like he's okay with both people having sex with multiple partners at the same time though.
I'm with Luci. I think honesty and directness are important. I feel like people don't do this because they want that vagueness because they're sketchy. They want their cake and want to eat it too.
Honestly that's disgusting and idk how anyone can be consciously okay with it. However, if both people agree to it, that's their choice.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍
█▓▒▒░░🧵Make trolls invisible: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=180234573 ░░▒▒▓█
Bookmarks
- Digg
- del.icio.us
- StumbleUpon
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts