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Originally Posted By GeezersPalace⏩

Opie living surburban dream. When was the last time phucked his wife or had sex at all. I reckon 10 years

Nope. Happily married for 21 years. There is always ebb and flow in life, but we have and remain connected. Sex in a 21+ year committed relationship takes on different meaning than a bar hook up. But there is still room for those times you just want to rip clothes off.
The hard part and reason most marriages start failing in the bedroom, is because areas outside the bedroom fail first.

Kids especially when young put a lot of strain on the relationship. I would not trade my kids for anything, but they will cause a huge rift in most marriages. The way it goes is the wife starts resenting husband because he is not helping enough. And the husband starts resenting the wife for not engaging in intimacy enough meanwhile he watchers her extend so much love to the kids. This build and builds, but the kids are the focus. Then when the kids start getting old enough to say get their own snack from the pantry, one of the parties looks at the other and say 'fuk this'. Instead of working though the resentments, they think the grass will be greener and go start cheating.

My wife and I went though this as well, but we both wanted our relationship to work. I am very thankful that I was not around more temptation as I probably would have cheated. I would have fuked up the best thing in my life to bust a nut. I can admit that and with the perspective I have now, know how as men we can be very short sighted. I try to 'warn' other dads with young kids to keep the relationship up and not let the resentments build. ALL of my friends are divorced except myself and that same scenario played out for each on in different ways. Sometimes it was the wife cheating and sometimes the husband.

Marriage is not always easy, but it is worth it and try to find some good role models as a married couple. I did not have any. My dad was a good dad, but never good husband. He cheated on my mom multiple times until my mom finally would not take him back when I was in HS. NOT someone to model my life from.

Originally Posted By FrostF⏩

The interesting thing about trades in the traditional sense is that they don't necessarily care about COL.

What OP did, was make a similar living as someone who works at a big bank or tech company - but instead of buying a small house in queens, he made the same down payment and got something 5x as big in a place where the closest shopping mall is an hour away.
You can get a house like that or even bigger with a modest middle-class down payment in a lot of loosely populated areas of the country.

Right now everything is inflated as hell but i remember seeing houses like OPs in Mississippi for like 550k. Prolly worth 2 mil now

I dont live in the 'sticks'. I am in one of the top 5 real estate markets in the country. We are 15 min outside a metro area of 2.5mil. But it is a fantastic place to raise a family and make a living. I am very lucky to have moved here as I left NY after I dropped out of college. I would never have had the opportunities I got here in a dying economy like NY. My advice to anyone is dont be afraid to move to start a life. In a BLUE state economy, I could NEVER have done what I did here. No degree, no union cars, no connections. Just a nobody.



So all is well here. We facetime'd this morning for about 30 min and had morning coffee together. Already got the stories about frat parties, and girls getting roofied. Also got stories about guys from the soccer team hooking up and giving a few girls gonorrhea. She is funny. She has no interest in 'frat' boys. She does not like people without their own sense of self and a strong one at that. She has always had that herself so no sorority stuff for her either. Of course we got to learn about the food.

Just a very cool time in life to watch your kids become even more of who you knew they were. This has been a crazy weekend for us, but all part of life. I know I am older than most here on the misc, but all I can say is marry a great girl and your life will much better for it. I wish I could say this all me, but nothing could be further from the truth. So many people on here slam marriage, and it is true that even in my generation, it does not work out for many. But I think many are not understanding what a good marriage and good partner is.

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

Originally Posted By Destor⏩

Gotta enjoy these guys talking like having plentiful land is somehow a bad thing, this is part of what makes North America arguably the best place to exist

Taking a big slice of land for a reasonable price relatively close to a major city and building something crazy on it is pretty much the ideal IMO. And it's an investment for the long term when you keep it in the family, because cities tend to expand and the value of that land will only continue appreciating as the surrounding area fills in.

Yes, the US and our land available is a thing we take for granted.

In my situation, it was quite different. One of those being in right place at right time. My area is mostly developed and was before we built. In the early 90's a guy bought 7 acres and built his home. Then mid 90's to current this area boomed and developed around him.
He decided to sell his home in 2015 and split his property into 2 3+ac tracts since the land was now so valuable. A 1ac lot is 250-300. He sold his home and then sold this a building lot. We were just in right place at right time and had cash which made for an attractive deal for the people as we made them an offer with no conditions and immediate close. So very lucky to come across this. If you gave me 1mil just to find a lot like this in our school district, you could not find it. Almost everything has been developed and 'land' is not available. We are less than 1mi from grocery store, and within 4 miles there are 3. 20+ Restaurants within 5 miles. Target, multiple banks and pretty much anything you need. Oh yea, chickfil a is only about 3 miles from house

That is what we struggle with now about considering downsizing. I want 15-20ac and to find that , we are going to have move a decent distance out. My wife is 50/50 on the idea, but we still have 2+ years to decide while my son finishes up HS.


A great example of how unpredictable life is, I never would have the home I have now if it were not for the fact that the county re-districted the schools. We were living right where we wanted and the county re-drew the school boundaries. They moved our line over about 400 yards and our kids ended up in a school district which we would not have wanted them in. We tried it for a year and decided it was not good. So we sold our home, took a 100k loss just to get our kids in the district we wanted. At same time, this lot came on market. I bought it in first 3 days on market. We rented a home in the district we wanted (which is almost impossible to find, again got lucky) and built our current home.

So we are those people that are crazy enough to move out of a home we owned outright just to make sure our kids were where we wanted them. In the end, it turned out to be a great move on all parts but made for one of the most stressful and demanding year of our lives.

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

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*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
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*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*

Originally Posted By induced_drag⏩

Yes, the US and our land available is a thing we take for granted.

In my situation, it was quite different. One of those being in right place at right time. My area is mostly developed and was before we built. In the early 90's a guy bought 7 acres and built his home. Then mid 90's to current this area boomed and developed around him.
He decided to sell his home in 2015 and split his property into 2 3+ac tracts since the land was now so valuable. A 1ac lot is 250-300. He sold his home and then sold this a building lot. We were just in right place at right time and had cash which made for an attractive deal for the people as we made them an offer with no conditions and immediate close. So very lucky to come across this. If you gave me 1mil just to find a lot like this in our school district, you could not find it. Almost everything has been developed and 'land' is not available. We are less than 1mi from grocery store, and within 4 miles there are 3. 20+ Restaurants within 5 miles. Target, multiple banks and pretty much anything you need. Oh yea, chickfil a is only about 3 miles from house

That is what we struggle with now about considering downsizing. I want 15-20ac and to find that , we are going to have move a decent distance out. My wife is 50/50 on the idea, but we still have 2+ years to decide while my son finishes up HS.


A great example of how unpredictable life is, I never would have the home I have now if it were not for the fact that the county re-districted the schools. We were living right where we wanted and the county re-drew the school boundaries. They moved our line over about 400 yards and our kids ended up in a school district which we would not have wanted them in. We tried it for a year and decided it was not good. So we sold our home, took a 100k loss just to get our kids in the district we wanted. At same time, this lot came on market. I bought it in first 3 days on market. We rented a home in the district we wanted (which is almost impossible to find, again got lucky) and built our current home.

So we are those people that are crazy enough to move out of a home we owned outright just to make sure our kids were where we wanted them. In the end, it turned out to be a great move on all parts but made for one of the most stressful and demanding year of our lives.

I don't know if this applies in the US or not (it works in the UK), but buy a run down farm.

Even though the land is zoned as agricultural, you are allowed to build/demolish/rebuild a "farmhouse", even if you don't actually farm the land.

Because of the limits on the land usage, developers don't buy them up, as you can't subdivide them, but it is a great way to buy a lot of land very cheaply on which to build a family home.

Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

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Originally Posted By induced_drag⏩

There are actually a few farms in some parts of our small town and development has sprung up around them. I actually know one of the farm owners as he used to let my use his farm to land students off-airport in the helicopter for practice. Super nice guy. Anyway, the 'raw' land value around here is approx 175k.ac. They dont tax the farms at that rate as they get an 'agricultural' exemption. However they fall under all the zoning of our town which was incorporated in the 50's. So when they sell, a developer can make building lots out of it. Until then they are grandfathered at lower tax rates. No such thing as permanent designation as 'farm land' here.

There is a very nice 25 tract which is a small offshoot of farmland that is on market right now in our town. Only issue is the land is 5.25mil. A little out of my budget unless I was wanting to develop and sell off a bunch of it. I dont want a project like that at this stage of my life even if I could afford it, I dont want to stick my neck out that far. There would be another 1.5-2 in dev costs...etc.

Just considering our options when the kids are gone. Any I love creating things. I would love to design a very modern home and this might be my opportunity. I can 'bribe' my wife with the fact we can probably have enough left over for an ocean front vacation home. Coast is about 3.5 hours from us. And that is one of my wifes dreams. It can work well on our 'books' also since we have rental properties. So we can rent it out for some usage and and it will provide and offset so I justify it even if money might be 'better' spent on additional income properties....etc Happy wife, happy life. But in all seriousness, my wife never has asked for anything in 21 years of marriage. And she is not asking for a beach home now. But it would make me more happy than I can imagine to get her one. Plus I think it would provide an awesome 'anchor' for our family to spend holidays and make many memories for years to come.

That's a shame on the land price, as if they could only build one home on it, the per acre price would be lower. It's how they built my house.

My house was originally a 40 acre horse breeding/training facility sandwiched between two farms that they got planning permission to build a single family home on (we have national planning laws regarding greenbelt land to prevent urban sprawl). I still have the stables, indoor menage etc even though I don't have any horses. If my daughter decides she likes horses as she gets older, daddy will get her a pony

The driveway is over 1/4 mile long and was originally an access road, so I don't own the land on either side of it, just the driveway, and then the 40 acres are at the end of it. It's like being in the middle of nowhere, even though town isn't far away.

Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......

Originally Posted By DuracellBunny⏩

That's a shame on the land price, as if they could only build one home on it, the per acre price would be lower. It's how they built my house.

My house was originally a 40 acre horse breeding/training facility sandwiched between two farms that they got planning permission to build a single family home on (we have national planning laws regarding greenbelt land to prevent urban sprawl). I still have the stables, indoor menage etc even though I don't have any horses. If my daughter decides she likes horses as she gets older, daddy will get her a pony

The driveway is over 1/4 mile long and was originally an access road, so I don't own the land on either side of it, just the driveway, and then the 40 acres are at the end of it. It's like being in the middle of nowhere, even though town isn't far away.

You can. The current zoning for most raw land is minimum of 1ac per homesite. So if you bought that 25ac, you could develop into 25 homesites. To make it work (including development costs, roads, stormwater utilities) the lots would have to go for 300-325 min. I think that is the direction we are going for the small remaining bits of undeveloped land in our area.

That is why for us, we have to be willing to go further out to find larger tracts. School district is not important then. One of the reasons our land is so valuable is the schools. We are 6 min outside the major metro area (which schools suck). People there send their kids to one of three private schools which are 17,000-26k per year k-12.

So drive 5 mile into our little town and it is a different county. We have one of the top 3 schools in the state as our public schools. That is what drove development and desireability.

We have a small little Ozzy and Harriet area. (like out of the 50's). About 40-50% of kids have stay at home moms. When we would go to the kids school parties, every kid had at least one parent, most had 2. Just a great place to raise kids.

My daughters highschool had a graduating class of 600 and over half her graduating class had over 4.0. My daughter had a 4.25 and graduated with a full year of college already complete. The HS partners with a local community college and offers 'core' college courses you can take while attending HS.

VERY different than how I grew up. My only concern was raising my kids in a 'wealthy' area. But the cool thing is my kids dont care about 'stuff' either. My daughter was embarassed of my Lambo and insisted that I never pick her up from school in it. She wears no name brand stuff and does not like it. Same with my son. There are kids at her school with LV stuff and they just laugh at the idea of buying a $800 belt...etc.

I was only in the last year that we for the first time with our kids actually spent over $100 on a pair of sneakers. My son wanted an addidas shoe and he is not the type to want it because it is 'in', so we just got it. But very happy to say that you can indeed impart your values on your kids.

It takes a lot of work. The influence started very young with 'progressives' messaging to kids. The Disney channel was the worst. I can remember the talks with her at 4and 5 about how the shows she was watching are not how life works. (In those shows all the parents are 'dumb' and disrespecting them is fun). It went on from there and we continue to have talks about the world but it becomes much more a 2-way discussion.



Hey, and to answer some of the haters here, I have learned that the world is not black and white. I do get a lot out of interacting with others here. This place can be more than just trolling for fun. I have been through a few things in life and I like sharing. I have learned to greet the world with open arms even if you get punched a few times. Never lose that openness. The positives will far outweigh the negatives. Responding on here has helped me understand some of my own thoughts. I am a reflective person and this dialogue has helped me quite a bit also. I thank the people who shared in here also.

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

Originally Posted By Destor⏩

There's a property like this near my place and I want to actually see it up close so badly



You can tell it was a farm plot and it ties into the neighbourhood, but you can only see the gate from the cul de sac. Looking at the satellite view here, that gate leads to a long ass winding driveway that loops around a courtyard and leads up to the house. They have a private lake with an island and what looks to be a bridge connecting it, and then I think there might be a back path for horses and such and maybe a secret driveway leading behind the house.

My realtor dug into it a bit to see if there was any information about what it cost to build etc, but the people legit just bought a farm plot and privately developed it so there's nothing public.

This is like 5 mins outside a city of ~1million

It's the only practical way to do it near a town/city.

If you have something like in IDs situation, where you are allowed to build 20 or 30 houses on it, the price of the land becomes prohibitively expensive. Youcoulddo it, but it means paying 3-5x the price per acre.

If the area has any kind of building restrictions, you are nearly always allowed to build a replacement dwelling. As long as there is a farmhouse, caretakers cottage, or any other type of residental structure, you replace it with a family home on a plot that you otherwise wouldn't be allowed to develop on. Because you can't develop on it, the price per acre is much lower and you can afford it without just recklessly spending for the sake of it.

The only downsides are that the plots can be very odd shapes, as opposed to the more uniform rectangles of subdivisions and utilities vary. I have LNG tanks, as I'm not connected to the network, but I have everything else, including a high speed data line laid under the driveway.

Note: Looking at that satellite photo and the houses next to it, if you could develop on that site, a developer would buy it and build 15-20 houses the same as the ones on the right. It would be economic madness not to.

Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......

“Steroids is now just a word that the lazy and ignorant use to describe any guy that has more muscle and dedication than them”– Mike O'Hearn


"I am like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym; I'm getting the feeling of cumming at home; I'm getting the feeling of cumming backstage; when I pump up, when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling, so I am cumming day and night. It's terrific, right? So you know, I am in heaven."

Originally Posted By GainzMcgee⏩

I also like to roast my beef as well as grilling. Just wanted to give full disclosure

Dont give gordo too hard a time. He is probably busy trying to take creeper pics of women he does not even know.

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

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RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be

Originally Posted By donblaximus⏩

Very nice home OP.

If your daughter legit tested that high of an IQ, going to school for nursing is kind of a waste no? My sister in law tested that high and she got into medical school by 18 and was done with her fellowship before 30 and 2 kids before 30. It can be done.

Yes she is legit that intelligent. For reasons growing up, we had her tested by a child psychologist with full aptitude and WISC IV. It is to be expected. I am significantly higher IQ than her. And my wife is well abv avg. Genetics play a significant role in IQ. The great news is my kids are WAY more well adjusted than I was. I am lucky I am not in prison right now or gone down some other path. High IQ beyond abv avg is not a great thing nor predictor of success. In fact it is the opposite. That is why I went into business for myself at 23 as I could never work for anyone. I had to work very hard on my social skills. Something I still work on today. Being my own boss made that a lot easier though as there was no ladder to climb. I just built my own ladder my own way without anyone to answer to. (that was good and bad at times, but it all worked out)

As for her, like most kids she had no idea what she wanted to do. She hated even the word 'blood'. A year ago her best friend fell in her bathtub and suffered serious injury. 130+ stitches etc. My daughter went to stay with her while she recovered. Since her friend did not want her mom to dress and undress her, my daughter stepped in and was changing her bandages daily and helping her recover.

From that day, she saw that as her purpose. She could be a Dr, but she does not want the sacrifices for her (future) family. She is just a kid of course, but in her mind she already knows that she wants kids by 25 and how many etc. All that is left is for her to find the right guy. I have explained many times you cant really plan your life out. But she right now is making every decision she makes on the idea that first and foremost in this world that she wants to be a mom. And she has that special something. That part of my wife I saw at an early age. It is a beautiful thing and I will be proud of her whatever she does. Some kid will be very lucky to marry her. But he will have to be pretty sharp too. She needs a man strong enough mentally especially to keep up with her. She has not found that yet. Her last boyfriend (who my wife and I love) she broke up with because he was not smart enough. It just started to get on her nerves. (and the kid is not dumb either, he graduated with a 3.6gpa. The school she went to has very high academic standards and she already said it was cool at orientation because she realized everyone around her had a greater than 4.0. She was not 'different' in that way. Again, being smarter than avg makes fitting in a little more challenging. Like me, she was bored of what most people were doing in HS. She has a few very close friends, but does not care to be part of the crowd of sheep.

Originally Posted By DustinTheHuss⏩

Awww she was crying? You never are prepared. I know it will be my time in a year so I'm trying to enjoy her senior year as much as possible.

The house is empty now that she's back in school. I miss her coming downstairs around 10am during the summer and talking to me about her night and upcoming day. This is going to suck, but they don't stay young forever.

Plus my relationship with my daughter is SO much better now. It was tough for 4 years, as it is for most moms and teen daughters. I just hope we can keep it up over FaceTime and I really want her to go to the university 30 minutes away from home.

That is cool that things are in a great place. The mother / daughter bond is a very special one. I know that as much as I love my daughter, there are just things I will never be able to understand. I am happy in those time to just support my wife and allow her to step in. (I have learned to just shut up)

RAW lifts
635 Dead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mATRBZ0gwdg
585x7 Dead reps http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yf2ZkdNNNQ
420 Bench (paused) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ2_Q-TLIB8
535 Squat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdgVaiTi4-8&feature=youtu.be