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Forum ยป How do you guys not feel jealous towards people with better lives than you?
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Thread: How do you guys not feel jealous towards people with better lives than you?

post 1457148733 08-11-2016, 12:30 PM
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once your over like 21, having social media is kinda childish. live your own life and keep your real friends. the 400 friends you have on ******** arent real friends....lmao.

so many dudes log into ******** everyday just to see what friends of friends are doing and it has no benefit to you. live in the real world, not social media.

you can have some social media if it benefits you, like for jobs and chit, but majority of social media is crap.
Keep rep trading out of your sig line miss
post 1457149253 08-11-2016, 12:34 PM
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I generally comment on other people's threads on the misc in order to feel better about myself
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post 1457150313 08-11-2016, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted By BoomPowSurprise⏩
I generally comment on other people's threads on the misc in order to feel better about myself
Lol subtle truth.
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post 1457151653 08-11-2016, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
I'll say it again, most people I see doing well/what they want in life are not doing anything special. They do mostly the same s*it that everyone else does, but they are just better at it,get the right opportunitiesetc. There is no magical secret. Call it working hard or smart or whatever.
I think this is also many seem to gloss over. You can't, like many baby boomers say, create your own opportunities. That's garbage (99.99% of the time). Opportunities are given to you and you take them (99.99% of the time). You can make your chances better of getting said opportunity but you cannot create it (99.99% of the time). That's how it works (99.99% of the time). Saying that, once you get an opportunity, any sort of foot in the door (for whatever the opportunity is), it's up to you to maximize it.








99.9% of the time.
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post 1457151663 08-11-2016, 12:49 PM
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The question with jealousy, much like anger, sadness, grief, fear, etc, is not how to avoid feeling it, but how to not dwell on it. It's a skill you have to work on just like anything else.

My best attempt at explaining it: it's absolutely useless to dwell on negative feelings since they result in inaction, divert your attention and energy towards feeling a certain way and more often than not result in a defeatist mentality.

Humans cannot compartmentalize thoughts or feelings. If you feel like a piece of chit loser cause you didn't make the team, every other part of your life will suck and you will feel like a loser forever. You can't keep beating yourself up for failing and expect to succeed elsewhere.

Remind yourself of the facts above, and move the fk on with your life. Only then can you succeed at other ventures. If you stay in this state of mind, you will be dragged deeper into that bullchit every day. Stop it and move on. Go get it brah, we're all gonno make it.
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post 1457152293 08-11-2016, 12:52 PM
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post 1457152533 08-11-2016, 12:53 PM
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Stoicism

When you value the things about yourself that matter (your goals, your qualities, your virtues, your habits) jealousy doesn't make sense, since everything is up to you.

Yeah, if you value stupid external **** that you have no control over (booo! I'm not a famous instagram model!) then you're doomed to a life of bitter jealousy, a negative emotion that is serving you no purpose.

https://aeon.co/essays/why-stoicism-...s-ever-devised
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post 1457155523 08-11-2016, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted By Chrysippus⏩
Stoicism

When you value the things about yourself that matter (your goals, your qualities, your virtues, your habits) jealousy doesn't make sense, since everything is up to you.

Yeah, if you value stupid external **** that you have no control over (booo! I'm not a famous instagram model!) then you're doomed to a life of bitter jealousy, a negative emotion that is serving you no purpose.

https://aeon.co/essays/why-stoicism-...s-ever-devised
will rep, I'm actually reading a book on stoicism now.

Most of it is stuff I normally do, I usually take a very internal mindset that avoids comparing myself etc but it's just falling apart of late
post 1457157173 08-11-2016, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
I'll say it again, most people I see doing well/what they want in life are not doing anything special. They do mostly the same s*it that everyone else does, but they are just better at it, get the right opportunities etc. There is no magical secret. Call it working hard or smart or whatever.
You dont think "getting the right opportunities" has anything to do with one extending oneself and reaching out proactively to people? Thats what separates the men from the boys.
Most people who do well are able to show value to someone better than the ones who are not doing as well. It boils right down to that.
post 1457157583 08-11-2016, 01:26 PM
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Originally Posted By SenorMcBrah⏩
I think this is also many seem to gloss over. You can't, like many baby boomers say, create your own opportunities. That's garbage (99.99% of the time). Opportunities are given to you and you take them (99.99% of the time). You can make your chances better of getting said opportunity but you cannot create it (99.99% of the time). That's how it works (99.99% of the time). Saying that, once you get an opportunity, any sort of foot in the door (for whatever the opportunity is), it's up to you to maximize it.








99.9% of the time.
Depends on how you look at things. If someone sees a disfunction in a process, goes back and writes software to streamline that process then proactively goes out and shows the value of that software to people with the broken process. Are you saying that the people with the broken process that agreed to buy the software after seeing how much value they could gain right away "gave" the software writer the opportunity? Is this what you are saying?
post 1457161293 08-11-2016, 01:48 PM
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It's all about mindset bro. You shouldn't be jealous. Instead, you tried and failed. What did you learn? You have to try something next and keep trying until you find what makes you happy and that you can do.

I went from:
-Pro Hockey player (Tried out for Indy Fuel, feeds BlackHawks). During try outs, I realized I didn't want to do it. It was fun but I was not obsessed with it.
-Military Jet Fighter Pilot - Was in ROTC in HS, went for 1 month at the Air Force Academy prep school during the summer to get feels for it and noped out of it.
-Wanted to have my own auto shop to build custom fast as fuk cars. Didn't really have a vision of what to do or where to start so dropped it (was only 19).
-Went to college as Network Engineer, stable like computers, plenty of places to work.
-Changed to Security as it interested me more and luckily found out in high demand.

So sure, you say you've always wanted to the same thing. That's fine, but you need to come to the realization that it didn't work out. So what do you do now? Don't be a hateful spiteful bitch. Instead pursue something else. And keep pursuing until you find something that works for you.
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post 1457162833 08-11-2016, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted By donblaximus⏩
Depends on how you look at things. If someone sees a disfunction in a process, goes back and writes software to streamline that process then proactively goes out and shows the value of that software to people with the broken process. Are you saying that the people with the broken process that agreed to buy the software after seeing how much value they could gain right away "gave" the software writer the opportunity? Is this what you are saying?
How did they get to see the dysfunction in the first place? Wouldn't they have had to have been hired already?
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post 1457164533 08-11-2016, 02:08 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Brah, I spend 80 hours a week minimum on schoolwork, just to maintain the scholarships that are paying for my college. I applied for 40 internships this summer and never got a single call back. I'm working hard to make it and the returns just aren't there.
80 hours a week minimum on schoolwork=working hard
I applied for 40 internships this summer and never got a single call back=working (not) smart

not everything is an odds thing. There is obviously more **** you can do to increase the chances of you getting an internship, and you havn't been doing them.
Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
Then you don't meet enough people. Most people that do all the right things still fail, because achieving anything is hard and most people don't and never will. That's reality for your a$$
you are a 26 year old failure, so taking anything for your word is only with a grain of salt.

All of the people I know thats failed, kept doing it until they succeeded. The ones that don't, they keep failing by repeating the exact same mistakes, just like FAP******* with his 40 failed submissions. You don't realize how much failures happen until success happens, and its obvious you attribute "success" to never failing, which is faulty logic in itself. I know more than enough people thats made it (these are the people i care about, could give a rats ass about all those fake ambitious ones) that I would listen and take their advice, over the people like you that are spouting "facts" that they think are true. You think that because a hypothetical 90% of all ppl fail, its because they did everything they were supposed to? LOL. They don't.
Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Brah, I spend 80 hours a week minimum on schoolwork, just to maintain the scholarships that are paying for my college. I applied for 40 internships this summer and never got a single call back. I'm working hard to make it and the returns just aren't there.
Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
Then you don't meet enough people. Most people that do all the right things still fail, because achieving anything is hard and most people don't and never will. That's reality for your a$$
Originally Posted By SenorMcBrah⏩
I think this is also many seem to gloss over. You can't, like many baby boomers say, create your own opportunities. That's garbage (99.99% of the time). Opportunities are given to you and you take them (99.99% of the time). You can make your chances better of getting said opportunity but you cannot create it (99.99% of the time). That's how it works (99.99% of the time). Saying that, once you get an opportunity, any sort of foot in the door (for whatever the opportunity is), it's up to you to maximize it.








99.9% of the time.
I agree with you. I also believe that most people "want" that opportunity to present itself, but they do not prepare for it and let it slip away. You need both the knowledge (recognizing that it is an opportunity) and ambition/willpower (to follow through with it and not just "oh okay let me think about it) AKA take action in order to get it. I have so many examples of people letting it slip away its ridiculous.
Living a happy life
post 1457166213 08-11-2016, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted By jwlee7ucla⏩
you are a 26 year old failure, so taking anything for your word is only with a grain of salt.

All of the people I know thats failed, kept doing it until they succeeded. The ones that don't, they keep failing by repeating the exact same mistakes, just like FAP******* with his 40 failed submissions. You don't realize how much failures happen until success happens, and its obvious you attribute "success" to never failing, which is faulty logic in itself. I know more than enough people thats made it (these are the people i care about, could give a rats ass about all those fake ambitious ones) that I would listen and take their advice, over the people like you that are spouting "facts" that they think are true. You think that because a hypothetical 90% of all ppl fail, its because they did everything they were supposed to? LOL. They don't.
I'm not saying that everyone that fails at something, fails at it despite doing everything as they should have. People make mistakes etc.

But yes, I know waaay more people that have tried and failed through no fault of their own, than people who have succeeded. In my own family, my uncle is a successful businessman while my dad has never succeeded. They both have the same work ethic etc, came form the same circumstances but it just didn't fall into place for my dad like it has my uncle in some ways.


American culture promotes this false belief that we are in control of our own destiny and we're not. All you can do is your best
post 1457167343 08-11-2016, 02:30 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Brah, I spend 80 hours a week minimum on schoolwork, just to maintain the scholarships that are paying for my college. I applied for 40 internships this summer and never got a single call back. I'm working hard to make it and the returns just aren't there.
Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
Then you don't meet enough people. Most people that do all the right things still fail, because achieving anything is hard and most people don't and never will. That's reality for your a$$
Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
I'm not saying that everyone that fails at something, fails at it despite doing everything as they should have. People make mistakes etc.

But yes, I know waaay more people that have tried and failed through no fault of their own, than people who have succeeded. In my own family, my uncle is a successful businessman while my dad has never succeeded. They both have the same work ethic etc, came form the same circumstances but it just didn't fall into place for my dad like it has my uncle in some ways.


American culture promotes this false belief that we are in control of our own destiny and we're not. All you can do is your best
I suggest you take an in depth look into comparing your uncle and your dad, from life choices they make, the habits they have, and their personality and thought processes. Like I said, you can just have pure luck, or if luck doesn't happen, you create it.

I came from poverty and section 8 in a gang infested ghetto, with no life connections, no help in school, no scholarships, and I am doing fine for myself. The entire time I had my ambitions, and I had my willingness to take action. I also failed a lot, and fell down alot. But when opportunity finally showed itself I took it. There are several key points in my life where I could have said "you know what, maybe later", where I said "lets do this" thats led me to where I am today.

Its very likely that even if your uncle went bankrupt, he'd end up successful again before your dad, because although windfalls do happen, they are very rare. Its much more likely that someone that ends in fortune and stays there, are doing something right. Think about all of the people that become suddenly rich through the lotto, then lose it all.
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post 1457171533 08-11-2016, 02:58 PM
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Its simple you didn't work hard enough at it and genetics weren't your friend.

One of my distant relatives plays pro football.

From age 8-14 until he got signed to pro team academy.

His drive, work ethic, maturity were miles ahead of everyone he competed with.

Take any sport and ask yourself are you the best one at it in your neighborhood, town, let alone state country etc... to comprehend how much work it requires to be good at something.
post 1457173003 08-11-2016, 03:08 PM
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Originally Posted By jwlee7ucla⏩
I suggest you take an in depth look into comparing your uncle and your dad, from life choices they make, the habits they have, and their personality and thought processes. Like I said, you can just have pure luck, or if luck doesn't happen, you create it.

Its very likely that even if your uncle went bankrupt, he'd end up successful again before your dad, because although windfalls do happen, they are very rare. Its much more likely that someone that ends in fortune and stays there, are doing something right. Think about all of the people that become suddenly rich through the lotto, then lose it all.
Well my uncle and dad are one example but it's been a good one for my life. Both came from abject poverty in a slum in Africa with nothing. Both worked hard and made it out, but my uncle just gets luckier breaks. They're both absurdly hard working and smart. S*it didn't work out for my dad, it wasn't because of anything he did wrong.

Same when I compare some others. I made it to the Ivy League, even though I did nothing to deserve it more than some others I know who just didn't get it lucky in certain ways. There's way more to success, you should read Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers I think it would blow your mind srs.
post 1457173353 08-11-2016, 03:10 PM
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Originally Posted By Carbonfibre⏩
Its simple you didn't work hard enough at it and genetics weren't your friend.

One of my distant relatives plays pro football.

From age 8-14 until he got signed to pro team academy.

His drive, work ethic, maturity were miles ahead of everyone he competed with.

Take any sport and ask yourself are you the best one at it in your neighborhood, town, let alone state country etc... to comprehend how much work it requires to be good at something.
I worked alot harder than many players who were just naturally better than me. Work only gets you so far
post 1457174103 08-11-2016, 03:16 PM
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Someone will always have a better life, own better things, have a better looking girl, etc etc etc.

Just figure out what you want to do in life and do it. Make sh!t happen for yourself. Maybe you can't be a soccer pro but that doesn't mean you have to LDAR.
๐—ฃ๐—จ๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ข๐——
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post 1457175043 08-11-2016, 03:22 PM
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Jealous, no, but i do admire and aspire, i have friends who have no money, and friends who are millionaires, i learn something from them all and value each of their friendships equally.
It is better to die on your feet, than to live a lifetime on your knees

a coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies but one.

The odds are great
But my spirit is strong,
My faith unbreakable,
My blood is pure.
I SHALL ENDURE!
I WILL ENDURE!

the strength of a gesture, a thought with no voice
post 1457175083 08-11-2016, 03:22 PM
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Yeah just lmao at people posting on ******** and actually giving a **** about what those other people think



brb posting my opinions and ****ty jokes on the misc in the hopes someone will rep me and validate me
Can't discipline the Miscipline
post 1457175683 08-11-2016, 03:27 PM
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But who was Jamie Vardy? The lad was playing none league football at 21 and won the premier league last year, bet if he had your attitude he'd be in a shop selling phones.
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post 1457175953 08-11-2016, 03:28 PM
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Originally Posted By jamesbwbevis⏩
I worked alot harder than many players who were just naturally better than me. Work only gets you so far
With a post count number like that.

I am calling bs.

If you worked hard enough you would have made it. Only thing that could have prevented it is genetics.


You think Ronaldo woke up one day and became one of the best football players in world?

Go watch his movie, guy is true psychopath completely obsessed/absorbed with training/practice

read up kobe bryant's training.

he would arrive at practice 4am before anyone.

the list goes on and on.
post 1457176323 08-11-2016, 03:32 PM
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1) meditation.

I force myself to clear my mind of childish wants and primal needs every morning. then i go about my day with calmness.

2) reminding myself of good fortune

my parents worked hard to immigrate from africa and thanks to them, i enjoy a decent standard of life.

3) testosterone / no fap.

high test and no fap allows you to keep those test gains, which naturally make you upbeat.

4) aggressive pursuit of goals

if you canit hit the ones you currently have then get new ones. OP i suggest you get into coaching soccer.
pls do not associate my personalities in misc and sports misc
post 1457178133 08-11-2016, 03:45 PM
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life is pre-determined. anyone who rejects this rejects physics. that being said emotions/thoughts/opinions are just that; they have no matter and thus hold no weight. if the thought "if i can't be an athlete life is chit" is useful to you go for it
post 1457178533 08-11-2016, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted By mh90⏩
But who was Jamie Vardy? The lad was playing none league football at 21 and won the premier league last year, bet if he had your attitude he'd be in a shop selling phones.
.....Vardy is 1 in a million
post 1457178763 08-11-2016, 03:49 PM
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  1. jamesbwbevis
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Originally Posted By Carbonfibre⏩
With a post count number like that.

I am calling bs.

If you worked hard enough you would have made it. Only thing that could have prevented it is genetics.


You think Ronaldo woke up one day and became one of the best football players in world?

Go watch his movie, guy is true psychopath completely obsessed/absorbed with training/practice

read up kobe bryant's training.

he would arrive at practice 4am before anyone.

the list goes on and on.
You are super delusional if that's what you truly believe. You can work yourself to the bone, but we all have limits. LOL at mentioning some of the most talented AND hardworking athletes on the planet and comparing that to an average joe blow like myself


Ronaldo's maximum potential is GOAT status. The average person's maximum potential is nowhere near that, not even close to pro level for that matter. that's just a basic reality
post 1457179573 08-11-2016, 03:55 PM
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#178
  1. wildchild11
  2. RIP Takeoff
  1. wildchild11
  2. RIP Takeoff
  3. Join Date: Jun 2011
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Also OP i've seen you post for quite some time now.

You're a really negative person. don't take that the wrong way but it's true. You're alone with your poisnous thoughts, in your brain, all day long. And that aint changing.

I'm not gonna tell you about bullsh*t affirmations or visualizations. But you're going to need to introduce new and fresh ideas into your head to stop being a miserable kunt.

the solution?

Read. Read a lot. Get a kindle, find recommended and popular books meant for the depressed, and give it a shot. Reading changes paradigms and makes your brain rewire itself.
pls do not associate my personalities in misc and sports misc
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