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Married brahs, I am jelly of you for only one reason srs
08-15-2018, 11:58 PM
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#211
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08-16-2018, 04:47 AM
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#212
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
We don't want kids, but if we changed our mind there is no way my woman stops working. BRB, cutting household income in half for what? Both of my parents worked full time, I am fine, not only am I fine, I loved the social interactions of child care and think it benefited me greatly. Most successfulcessful and sane people I know had two working parents and the percentage of two working parents just keeps going up. Child care exists for a reason. I don't get the mindset at all. Where do you live? Here in NY I've never met a person with the I want a woman who doesn't work mindset, I didn't know it was a thing till this thread and my mind is still blown. I not only demand a woman who works, but if your income isn't a certain level please move along, lol.What’s best for the kid?
Double income > not double income
08-16-2018, 05:15 AM
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#213
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Many kids live fulfilling lives with both parents working.What’s best for the kid?
Why blow your fleeting existance on someone else? (particularly when it is not needed).
Having a dual income allows a couple to enjoy so much more in life (unless you are a solo 500k+ per year income which is unlikely).
08-16-2018, 05:22 AM
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#214
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Originally Posted By Jms89⏩
and most of them are married off before their 20th birthday.or were brought up in rural/country area where that chit is still expected.
OP the most realistic scenario for you (ESPECIALLY if you have kids) is you're both working full time jobs and the kids are in daycare. You or the misses take turns picking them up after work and she'll stop by Wendy's and that will be your dinner. As for a clean house? lol, well the kitchen is clean because you rarely have time to actually cook (only eating out) and the house will only get cleaned on weekends.
08-16-2018, 05:38 AM
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#215
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Originally Posted By Maestro⏩
Fukk, would never have gotten married if this is what it comes to.and most of them are married off before their 20th birthday.
OP the most realistic scenario for you (ESPECIALLY if you have kids) is you're both working full time jobs and the kids are in daycare. You or the misses take turns picking them up after work and she'll stop by Wendy's and that will be your dinner. As for a clean house? lol, well the kitchen is clean because you rarely have time to actually cook (only eating out) and the house will only get cleaned on weekends.
OP the most realistic scenario for you (ESPECIALLY if you have kids) is you're both working full time jobs and the kids are in daycare. You or the misses take turns picking them up after work and she'll stop by Wendy's and that will be your dinner. As for a clean house? lol, well the kitchen is clean because you rarely have time to actually cook (only eating out) and the house will only get cleaned on weekends.
My daughter is always with either my wife or I if we are not together, and meals are hand-prepared, never fukkin junk food.
What you described above sounds like total and complete failure in life
08-16-2018, 06:06 AM
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#216
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The misc hasn’t really addressed the fact that, fair or not, child care is extremely pricey. My wife was a teacher prior to having kids. Her salary wouldn’t have even covered the year’s worth of daycare bills that we’d pay if she worked.
As it is, she stays home with the kids and I earn the money. We share household chores to some degree but inevitably she does end up doing more housework.
We talk about getting her back into something part time, but are still looking for the right opportunity. The cost of daycare is high (not whining, just stating a fact) and that must be factored into the discussion.
As it is, she stays home with the kids and I earn the money. We share household chores to some degree but inevitably she does end up doing more housework.
We talk about getting her back into something part time, but are still looking for the right opportunity. The cost of daycare is high (not whining, just stating a fact) and that must be factored into the discussion.
08-16-2018, 06:19 AM
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#217
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Originally Posted By BibFortunaBrah⏩
Can confirm.The misc hasn’t really addressed the fact that, fair or not, child care is extremely pricey. My wife was a teacher prior to having kids. Her salary wouldn’t have even covered the year’s worth of daycare bills that we’d pay if she worked.
As it is, she stays home with the kids and I earn the money. We share household chores to some degree but inevitably she does end up doing more housework.
We talk about getting her back into something part time, but are still looking for the right opportunity. The cost of daycare is high (not whining, just stating a fact) and that must be factored into the discussion.
As it is, she stays home with the kids and I earn the money. We share household chores to some degree but inevitably she does end up doing more housework.
We talk about getting her back into something part time, but are still looking for the right opportunity. The cost of daycare is high (not whining, just stating a fact) and that must be factored into the discussion.
I calculated that we spent at least £50k putting both our kids in daycare.
And that was with a day paid for by the government.
We both continued to work even though her job barely broke even with the childcare costs because if you rely on one income and then you lose your job, then you are really in chit street real fast.
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08-16-2018, 07:08 AM
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#218
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Originally Posted By BustaCapp⏩
Bbbbut just make more money? Isn't it that easy?Can confirm.
I calculated that we spent at least £50k putting both our kids in daycare.
And that was with a day paid for by the government.
We both continued to work even though her job barely broke even with the childcare costs because if you rely on one income and then you lose your job, then you are really in chit street real fast.
I calculated that we spent at least £50k putting both our kids in daycare.
And that was with a day paid for by the government.
We both continued to work even though her job barely broke even with the childcare costs because if you rely on one income and then you lose your job, then you are really in chit street real fast.
Between in-home nanny and daycare prior to TK/Kinder public school, my kids have cost close to a second mortgage payment up to about age five. I'd still do it again if I had to start over.
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08-16-2018, 07:11 AM
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#219
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Originally Posted By jeshelton⏩
My kids monthly daycare cost was over double my mortgage repayments (srs).Bbbbut just make more money? Isn't it that easy?
Between in-home nanny and daycare prior to TK/Kinder public school, my kids have cost close to a second mortgage payment up to about age five. I'd still do it again if I had to start over.
Between in-home nanny and daycare prior to TK/Kinder public school, my kids have cost close to a second mortgage payment up to about age five. I'd still do it again if I had to start over.
That wasonekid by the way.
My younger sister has twins and a 4yr old in daycare. LMFAOOOOOOOO!!!!!1
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08-16-2018, 07:12 AM
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#220
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Originally Posted By ashin1⏩
You serious brah? I bet 90% of married brahs come home to a messy house and no dinner on the table because their wife was at work during the day as well. No BJs and little to no sex as well after a year or 2.When you get home from a days work, you will walk into your home with it clean and having supper already made waiting for you to consume it, for the rest of your married life.
I Work with one girl who is happily married for over 15 years and she is still always saying how she needs to make sure dinner is ready on the table for her man before he comes through the door so he can enjoy and she can clean promptly after.
Imagine all the time saved boyos.
I Work with one girl who is happily married for over 15 years and she is still always saying how she needs to make sure dinner is ready on the table for her man before he comes through the door so he can enjoy and she can clean promptly after.
Imagine all the time saved boyos.
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08-16-2018, 07:30 AM
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#221
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08-16-2018, 07:46 AM
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#222
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married brah w 2 boys
you have no idea how bad things really are
you have no idea how bad things really are
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08-16-2018, 07:51 AM
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#223
08-16-2018, 08:09 AM
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#224
Originally Posted By AltarOfPlagues⏩
Pretty much all of our friends with kids wish they were us and hate their lives, problem is once they are born you are stuck with them for 18 long years of the biggest resource suck imaginable.married brah w 2 boys
you have no idea how bad things really are
you have no idea how bad things really are
08-16-2018, 08:23 AM
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#225
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08-16-2018, 08:23 AM
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#226
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Originally Posted By BustaCapp⏩
****ing hell. No thanks. I don't understand how some of my buddies making only $40-50k a year can survive with 1-2 kids and a mortgage payment.My kids monthly daycare cost was over double my mortgage repayments (srs).
That wasonekid by the way.
My younger sister has twins and a 4yr old in daycare. LMFAOOOOOOOO!!!!!1
That wasonekid by the way.
My younger sister has twins and a 4yr old in daycare. LMFAOOOOOOOO!!!!!1
Originally Posted By sdoo⏩
With the distinction of the man meeting new people (generally), doing different work, can learn new skills on the job, actually getting paid to afford things that he can enjoy in the off-time, can get a promotion, etc.Sounds just like men in the rat race doing a 9-5 to pay for a house, car, kids education, retirement, bills, etc regardless of white or blue collar.
My wife is about to start making almost as much as I do, while only working 3-4 days a week. It'll be fantastic as I'd rather her work & pay for a cleaning service 2-3 times a month, rather than have her become a stay at home wife and cleaning/being lazy all the time. (No kids, obv)
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
My cat brings me joy and happiness, i guess i'm set for life. Can't stand people (my family, especially) telling me iwillhave kids someday, and that my life is a waste if i don't. However, a coworker brought in his ~5 year old adopted daughter to the office a few days ago and she was the most ****ing adorable thing i've seen all year. So who knows.Don't you ever have doubts? I've never wanted kids and I don't even like kids, but I do have some doubt sometimes. Just because everyone says their kids are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they bring so much joy and happiness.
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08-16-2018, 08:24 AM
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#227
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
They're lying to try to cope with the terrible decisions they have made.Don't you ever have doubts? I've never wanted kids and I don't even like kids, but I do have some doubt sometimes. Just because everyone says their kids are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they bring so much joy and happiness.
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08-16-2018, 08:31 AM
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#228
08-16-2018, 08:33 AM
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#229
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
breh im counting down the months til my oldest go to k5 and i can stop payin his 1200 a month daycare note.Pretty much all of our friends with kids wish they were us and hate their lives, problem is once they are born you are stuck with them for 18 long years of the biggest resource suck imaginable.
i run through a liter of cope juice a weekend (tito)
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08-16-2018, 08:43 AM
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#230
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
I mean I guess at times we question if something is wrong with us because old society expects humans to just reproduce like animals but times are changing, more and more people are choosing to not have kids, of the couples I know the ones without are much happier (yes, I am generalizing before someone gets mad), and we simply don't have the desire, our lives are very fulfilling without kids and the responsibility of kids would greatly take us away from the things we enjoy. I always thought kids would be something I'd mature into wanting but I am mid to late 30s now it it is no more appealing to me, maybe once I hit 40, lol.Don't you ever have doubts? I've never wanted kids and I don't even like kids, but I do have some doubt sometimes. Just because everyone says their kids are the best thing that ever happened to them and that they bring so much joy and happiness.
Originally Posted By AltarOfPlagues⏩
LoL, I know, my friends with kids are all major alcoholics, most loose their minds and act like they are 16 again when they get the rare time away.breh im counting down the months til my oldest go to k5 and i can stop payin his 1200 a month daycare note.
i run through a liter of cope juice a weekend (tito)
i run through a liter of cope juice a weekend (tito)
08-16-2018, 08:55 AM
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#231
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
im 34 so i got no recovery abilities. having kids is generally sobering, it totally tracks that it would make somebody less happy. you hear about a kid dying, you think about your kid. you're slightly scared of fukin everything. scared you are doing it wrong, scared your kid is gonna woop someone's ass or get his ass wooped, or be stupid because you're also stupid. the insecurity, worry, concern is never ending. why would i care about my own happiness i have a squad to prioritize.LoL, I know, my friends with kids are all major alcoholics, most loose their minds and act like they are 16 again when they get the rare time away.
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08-16-2018, 09:00 AM
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#232
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I always ask this question: Is it more selfish to:
1) Have kids because you want to make your own like so 'fulfilling'
2) Not have kids because you want to worry about yourself, and not another creature.
To me it's way more selfish bringing a child into this ****ed up world just because you want 'something to do' or 'continue your family name'
1) Have kids because you want to make your own like so 'fulfilling'
2) Not have kids because you want to worry about yourself, and not another creature.
To me it's way more selfish bringing a child into this ****ed up world just because you want 'something to do' or 'continue your family name'
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08-16-2018, 09:02 AM
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#233
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Originally Posted By AltarOfPlagues⏩
Thought I was the only one.breh im counting down the months til my oldest go to k5 and i can stop payin his 1200 a month daycare note.
i run through a liter of cope juice a weekend (tito)
i run through a liter of cope juice a weekend (tito)
Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
I feel like people arethinkingabout it more than they used to now, like it is not as much of an expectation. I'm one of the guys that really enjoys my marriage and kids, but can also appreciate how some of my coworkers that have zero kids/zero fuks enjoy flying to Hawaii, buying nice cars, upgrading pools/spas, and relish their disposable income. Same kinds of arguments like vegan vs. carnivore, it's nice that we get the option to choose.I mean I guess at times we question if something is wrong with us because old society expects humans to just reproduce like animals but times are changing, more and more people are choosing to not have kids, of the couples I know the ones without are much happier (yes, I am generalizing before someone gets mad), and we simply don't have the desire, our lives are very fulfilling without kids and the responsibility of kids would greatly take us away from the things we enjoy. I always thought kids would be something I'd mature into wanting but I am mid to late 30s now it it is no more appealing to me, maybe once I hit 40, lol.
LoL, I know, my friends with kids are all major alcoholics, most loose their minds and act like they are 16 again when they get the rare time away.
LoL, I know, my friends with kids are all major alcoholics, most loose their minds and act like they are 16 again when they get the rare time away.
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08-16-2018, 09:30 AM
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#234
Originally Posted By jeshelton⏩
Very true. I realize I may never understand the person who truly desires kids as I just can't wrap my head around wanting that, but everyone has their own desires. But like you said, more people are actually thinking about it which I think is a very good thing, I know what too many people who just had kids because it was that time in life, or their parents wanted it, of their significant other wanted it, or society wants it, all the wrong reasons.Thought I was the only one.
I feel like people arethinkingabout it more than they used to now, like it is not as much of an expectation. I'm one of the guys that really enjoys my marriage and kids, but can also appreciate how some of my coworkers that have zero kids/zero fuks enjoy flying to Hawaii, buying nice cars, upgrading pools/spas, and relish their disposable income. Same kinds of arguments like vegan vs. carnivore, it's nice that we get the option to choose.
I feel like people arethinkingabout it more than they used to now, like it is not as much of an expectation. I'm one of the guys that really enjoys my marriage and kids, but can also appreciate how some of my coworkers that have zero kids/zero fuks enjoy flying to Hawaii, buying nice cars, upgrading pools/spas, and relish their disposable income. Same kinds of arguments like vegan vs. carnivore, it's nice that we get the option to choose.
08-16-2018, 09:44 AM
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#235
08-16-2018, 09:51 AM
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#236
Originally Posted By ashin1⏩
^This how we roll. I grilled some nice steaks last night and she made some nice potatoes/corn and sides. We have two young kiddos though (3 month and 2.5 year old) so we both tackle cleaning. I mainly do dishes and the kitchen cleanup. She does laundry and the rest of the house.Wood not marry her/10 if she doesn’t do majority of cooking, I’ll be the king of the grill, she can be queen of the stove
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08-16-2018, 09:56 AM
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#237
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All I know is one of my coworkers has 2 kids and just got divorced. His ex wife lives in their old house that he's still paying for and he gives her more than he should each paycheck while he lives in a lonely one bedroom apartment and driving a POS car. He says "I hate my life" at least a handful of times per week. He's like 32 and pretty good looking (no homo) but all that has sucked the life out of him. Most of the other coworkers with kids bitch about how they have to pay for this or that and give me grief for traveling and living it up. Not my fault they fuked up their lives for a pussy they don't even get anymore.
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08-16-2018, 10:31 AM
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#238
Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
Child care is essentially shoving your kid out of the way so you keep working in your office all day. Why have a kid at all?We don't want kids, but if we changed our mind there is no way my woman stops working. BRB, cutting household income in half for what? Both of my parents worked full time, I am fine, not only am I fine, I loved the social interactions of child care and think it benefited me greatly. Most successfulcessful and sane people I know had two working parents and the percentage of two working parents just keeps going up. Child care exists for a reason. I don't get the mindset at all. Where do you live? Here in NY I've never met a person with the I want a woman who doesn't work mindset, I didn't know it was a thing till this thread and my mind is still blown. I not only demand a woman who works, but if your income isn't a certain level please move along, lol.
Double income > not double income
Double income > not double income
There's a lot of controversy surrounding the impact of excessive daycare. From the meta-analysis I've read, you're right - the success (as defined by economic wealth aka the US version of success) isn't negatively correlated. But the psychological health and stability is. Those initial 3-5 years are critical for personality development and bonding/attachment of the child. If the bonding (i.e. time, attention and love) to the parent doesn't happen, the issues persist through adulthood.
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08-16-2018, 10:38 AM
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#239
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Have you researched effects of part time daycare, socialization, learning different skills from different people? Agree on all the rest.Child care is essentially shoving your kid out of the way so you keep working in your office all day. Why have a kid at all?
There's a lot of controversy surrounding the impact ofexcessivedaycare. From the meta-analysis I've read, you're right - the success (as defined by economic wealth aka the US version of success) isn't negatively correlated. But the psychological health and stability is.Those initial 3-5 years are critical for personality development and bonding/attachment of the child.If the bonding (i.e. time, attention and love) to the parent doesn't happen, the issues persist through adulthood.
There's a lot of controversy surrounding the impact ofexcessivedaycare. From the meta-analysis I've read, you're right - the success (as defined by economic wealth aka the US version of success) isn't negatively correlated. But the psychological health and stability is.Those initial 3-5 years are critical for personality development and bonding/attachment of the child.If the bonding (i.e. time, attention and love) to the parent doesn't happen, the issues persist through adulthood.
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08-16-2018, 10:42 AM
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#240
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- EdwardTheGreat
- Registered User
- Join Date: Apr 2013
- Age: 52
- Posts: 9,092
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
This is mind-blowing to me actually.Child care is essentially shoving your kid out of the way so you keep working in your office all day. Why have a kid at all?
I know a couple who have government assistance with daycare which allows for 5 days a week, even though they only need 3 days help. They are going to send their kid for the full 5 days since it is provided...like wtf even have a child for?
I cannot understand this logic in any way...I am sitting at my desk everyday thinking of ways that I can maximize the amount of time I have available to spend with my kid, and here they are shipping theirs off to someone else "just because"
It actually makes me mad.
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