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» Brah's wedding is costing me $1500 (wat do?)
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post 1453535003 07-19-2016, 05:18 PM
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Originally Posted By LFAesthetics
Just lol if you don't tip the groom 20%
This. If you're to cheap to tip the groom then just stay at home and dont go to any weddings.



Also what's the big deal OP? $1500? The average miscer is making that in two days in their 1st year out of college.
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post 1453535123 07-19-2016, 05:19 PM
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lol at covering the whole cabin costs with your own CC. That alone would make me be like "you know what, i have some emergency at work, ill come visit soon sorry" and be done with his bull****.
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post 1453535133 07-19-2016, 05:19 PM
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fukking lmao @ marriage, not only a financially idiotic decision for the man getting married, but to push expenses like that on his so-called friends?

l m a o

don't go, srs
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post 1453535333 07-19-2016, 05:21 PM
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Lots of good questions. How close are we? Very close through formative years and now see each other about once a year. I was there when his son was born, etc... It's one of those friendships that'll never end but obviously change. All of our other friends growing up moved to this state and near him after he moved there. One of the groomsman will be flying in from a similar distance

Also the venue they've chosen you can't even fly to. You have to boat off the coast a short distance to get to it so it's like an island.

His first wedding was when we were teens so my guess is he has no clue how to plan a wedding which is why I keep getting a "oh by the way..." Cost updates. I don't mind spending money but I like it when I'm the actual beneficiary. Will read rest of replies when I can
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post 1453537293 07-19-2016, 05:37 PM
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Originally Posted By veggie530
Lots of good questions. How close are we? Very close through formative years and now see each other about once a year. I was there when his son was born, etc... It's one of those friendships that'll never end but obviously change. All of our other friends growing up moved to this state and near him after he moved there. One of the groomsman will be flying in from a similar distance

Also the venue they've chosen you can't even fly to. You have to boat off the coast a short distance to get to it so it's like an island.

His first wedding was when we were teens so my guess is he has no clue how to plan a wedding which is why I keep getting a "oh by the way..." Cost updates. I don't mind spending money but I like it when I'm the actual beneficiary. Will read rest of replies when I can
dont front the extra costs
Living a happy life
post 1453537873 07-19-2016, 05:41 PM
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I would just tell him that if he'd told you all the info before you committed that you never would've said yes. But that you would still love to attend as a guest (assuming thats true).
post 1453538033 07-19-2016, 05:42 PM
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Are white weddings always like this? Where guests have to chip in? That's weird as fuk. Getting invited to a wedding that you have to take time out off and pay to go
post 1453539533 07-19-2016, 05:56 PM
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Question is, would you ask the same of him? Especially seeming as it's his second time.

Is he unaware of where his groomsmen work? He expects $2k and a wedding on a Thursday to be feasible?

I've missed two good friends' weddings but I've been the other side of the world at the time. Would've cost $3k+ to attend and although they said they understood I'm sure a small part of them is slightly bitter. I find it crazy tbh. It's one day and it's mostly for the female anyway. Fuk marriage.
post 1453539583 07-19-2016, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted By xslick
Are white weddings always like this? Where guests have to chip in? That's weird as fuk. Getting invited to a wedding that you have to take time out off and pay to go
This sounds more like a destination wedding issue. Their lodging is pretty expensive, plane tickets for two people, etc.

If he was local to the wedding, this would be a $200 expense.
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post 1453539903 07-19-2016, 05:59 PM
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i'd straight out tell him, "if you want me at your wedding as a groomsman, you are paying for my cabin, plane ticket and tuxedo"

does he really expect people to spend $2,000+ to attend his 2nd wedding which will likely just end up in divorce just like his first.


Go spend the 2 grand on a nice vacation with your girl op, you'll have 100x more fun
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post 1453539923 07-19-2016, 05:59 PM
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I will buy a suit and grace the wedding with my presence. That's about it. I don't buy a gift if they are well off/have deep pockets either.

*Sleep in car @ weddings crew*
post 1453540373 07-19-2016, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted By Ikeman83
This sounds more like a destination wedding issue. Their lodging is pretty expensive, plane tickets for two people, etc.

If he was local to the wedding, this would be a $200 expense.
-Destination wedding(less people so he's saving money)
-wedding on thurs(saving a good chunk of money)
-asking a really good friend to be a groomsman


He better be covering a good portion of your costs with all the money he's saving even if you can afford it.
post 1453540833 07-19-2016, 06:07 PM
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1.5k is about what it cost me for my brothes wedding and it was in DR at a resort all inclusive fpr 7 days.. so that much for a ****ing cabin.... lol no.
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post 1453541373 07-19-2016, 06:11 PM
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In on another wedding thread.

Any of you fckers who support these 20+ thousand dollar weddings are 100% to blame for the extreme and stupid cost of the whole thing. Seriously, everyone needs to start having small, non-traditional weddings that cost 1-2k and leave it at that. Some food, some chairs, someone to say what has to be said to make it official, etc.

Ask ANY venue about their costs and then say it's for a wedding and watch them double, triple or quadruple their prices. It's extortion except for the fact that everyone keeps playing along willingly.

In before "But I have a rich family so I don't understand the problem" argument.
post 1453542483 07-19-2016, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted By US_Ranger
In on another wedding thread.

Any of you fckers who support these 20+ thousand dollar weddings are 100% to blame for the extreme and stupid cost of the whole thing. Seriously, everyone needs to start having small, non-traditional weddings that cost 1-2k and leave it at that. Some food, some chairs, someone to say what has to be said to make it official, etc.

Ask ANY venue about their costs and then say it's for a wedding and watch them double, triple or quadruple their prices. It's extortion except for the fact that everyone keeps playing along willingly.

In before "But I have a rich family so I don't understand the problem" argument.
All anyone wants is booze and food anyhow.
post 1453543063 07-19-2016, 06:23 PM
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if he's really a good friend and has done many good things for u and with u over the years, why not just help him out one last time

if he's really just a buddy of urs, hanging and chill, and gives no added value beyond just a friendship, fuk it, he shud pay for ur portion, or at least part of it.. part of me thinks he's taking u for a ride
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post 1453543263 07-19-2016, 06:25 PM
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Originally Posted By US_Ranger
In on another wedding thread.

Any of you fckers who support these 20+ thousand dollar weddings are 100% to blame for the extreme and stupid cost of the whole thing. Seriously, everyone needs to start having small, non-traditional weddings that cost 1-2k and leave it at that. Some food, some chairs, someone to say what has to be said to make it official, etc.

Ask ANY venue about their costs and then say it's for a wedding and watch them double, triple or quadruple their prices. It's extortion except for the fact that everyone keeps playing along willingly.

In before "But I have a rich family so I don't understand the problem" argument.
Yep. It's a scam. People need to stop playing along with this bullchit.
post 1453545013 07-19-2016, 06:35 PM
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Tell him you'll hit him up on his second marriage
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post 1453545703 07-19-2016, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted By sFunk
Tell him you'll hit him up on his second marriage
3rd lol
Originally Posted By US_Ranger
In on another wedding thread.

Any of you fckers who support these 20+ thousand dollar weddings are 100% to blame for the extreme and stupid cost of the whole thing. Seriously, everyone needs to start having small, non-traditional weddings that cost 1-2k and leave it at that. Some food, some chairs, someone to say what has to be said to make it official, etc.

Ask ANY venue about their costs and then say it's for a wedding and watch them double, triple or quadruple their prices. It's extortion except for the fact that everyone keeps playing along willingly.

In before "But I have a rich family so I don't understand the problem" argument.
Funny thing. The guy I'd consider my best friend over the last 5 years just dropped 50,000 on his wedding with his wife (they're both RN's). I paid for my tux ($180) and they paid for my room and he also bought me a knife engraved with my initials and it said "Best Man" on it.
Originally Posted By Ikeman83
For my best friend from college's wedding and bachelor party in Chicago/Madison (June/Feb respectively), I spent:

$700 for two plane tickets.
$100 for ski rental
~300 for meals
$75 car rental (for one trip)
$200 tux rental
$300 for hotel stays.

After spending $1600 on attending these events, where I saw him on a Friday Night, Saturday, Saturday night, and Sunday morning only, he was more than understanding that I wasn't going to be buying him a wedding present.
brb could retire 5 years earlier if it weren't for friends weddings
Originally Posted By DueceWaters
b/c you are going to look like a moron when all the groomsmen have on matching grey tux's and you are sporting a navy blue suit. if you are just going to the wedding and not actually in it then of course you just wear a suit/whatever.
I just lol'd hard
Originally Posted By Humungus
He can get offended all he wants.


F ck this chit. Is he expecting you to put all their cabin costs on your card? DO NOT DO THIS. You will be hounding strangers to pay you back and good luck collecting. Totally ridiculous. Either go for the 2 days and skip the cabin business or don't go at all if he's not understanding.
That was my concern. What if one gets drunk and breaks a TV or something?
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post 1453550283 07-19-2016, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted By veggie530
That was my concern. What if one gets drunk and breaks a TV or something?
Tell him you just bought your flights and your cards are maxed out
post 1453550683 07-19-2016, 07:10 PM
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You committed without knowing those details.

In the business world, that would be like signing a contract and then being told about other responsibilities after which would not be binding. You can just tell him you didn't know it would be so costly in both time and money and you wish him the best with his second wife.

If he was doing this the right way you wouldn't have to pay for chit
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post 1453552283 07-19-2016, 07:21 PM
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lol @ 2nd wedding. tell him you will go to his 3rd wedding and cant make this one.
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post 1453552623 07-19-2016, 07:23 PM
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The wedding is costing you $200 for the suit hire.

The rest are just normal costs associated with taking a holiday/time off. You're getting something for the $1,300. It's not just going 'poof' into thing air lol.

Doesn't make it any cheaper, but feel better knowing it's not just towards the wedding. Simply, if you can'y afford it, don't go.
post 1453556603 07-19-2016, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted By TwoHumpChump
Tell him you just bought your flights and your cards are maxed out
This...

Just say "I cant put anything else on my credit card, the plane tickets already extended us past what we can afford"

This way you get out of put your CC down on other peoples rooms, and you let him know this is a hardship to pay for his crappy wedding
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post 1453558313 07-19-2016, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted By PremiumLager
You lost me at "married for the 2nd time".

Tell him to get fukked. Srs.
Exactly
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post 1453622073 07-20-2016, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted By RightKindaGuy
congrats on wasting their money on an outdated social norm. idiot
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post 1453622953 07-20-2016, 08:03 AM
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go nc
post 1453624343 07-20-2016, 08:11 AM
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As someone that just had a destination wedding, just fuggin tell him you cant do it. Most of my friends didnt come and I didnt expect them to spend the money unless they wanted to. The people I wanted in the wedding (groomsmen and such) I paid for their trip.

If you are part of the wedding and expected to go you should not be footing the bill.
post 1453624443 07-20-2016, 08:12 AM
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Sorry to hear that OP, you're not the first miscer to get phucked by another's marriage.

I'm getting married this year, for bachelor trip 15 of us are piling in a van and headed a few states over to Colorado to camp and hike up three 14ers, crashing at the farm before/after so the only cost is some snacks and gas plus one vacation day, but it's for something fun, and completely optional.

Rehearsal dinner is optional for everyone, I mean we all know how to walk down a ****ing aisle, how hard is that. Plain black suit, we are providing the ties, everyone but my bro has dress clothes by now. People have to pay for their lodging, cuz we ain't rich and we had to for everyone else's marriage. No time off needed for the wedding, getting hitched on Sunday, so some may take Monday off or just suck it up and go to work, driving distance for all involved.

Get married last of all your friends so you can get a feel for how much you spent at their weddings.



Also instead of lame groomsman gifts, I have restored American axes from the early 1900s, hung on hand carved 28" red elm handles with walnut wedge. Getting a laser engraver in this week to do some detail engraving in the handle, not sure yet if I want anything related to the wedding on there at all, like Groomsman _______ or if it should just say Property of ______. Also using the engraver to engrave leather sheaths with depictions of the first mountain I've climbed with them, either an actual photograph etched on the leather, or a topographical map of the mountain etched in the leather, haven't decided on that either.




Anyways back to OP's dilemma, you should just tell your bro that you lost it big in the brexit market and you don't have the funds right now. Or tell him how much it is going to cost you, If it doesn't bother him then he isn't very understanding.
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post 1453624953 07-20-2016, 08:15 AM
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Worst thing is he will probably get divorced in a couple years....
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