Do you play Overwatch? Pls carry me

I know this is a joke, but both of you are still losers.

Fuk u

Tour's so over it's never beginning again op

Oh, how very big of you. You're an alpha male, are you? Well, let me clue you in on something: Alpha Males haven't been in charge for a good couple of decades. Obviously, this tirade is directed on a High School level. Once you get out of high school, and begin working at your dead-end office job, you know who your boss is going to be? That's right, that pasty nerd you made fun of. It's funny, you see. The majority of the women you are talking about, despite the blatant lies you've slipped in, and the generalizations which remain moderately untrue, are frankly, idiotic sluts. The fact that you're trying to taunt us with them is inane, because while they sound appealing in text, in reality, we wouldn't want anything to do with the ****ing skanks. And furthermore, thank you for "****ing every girl in the school (I bet you can bench 2000 pounds too, amirite?)." Honestly, thank you. Why, you may ask? Because, by taking away the easy route, you have brought pain upon us. You have brought us misery, you have forced us to adapt to that misery, and to grow as people. Luxury doesn't incite growth, pain does. So while you're busy sticking it in your AIDS-ridden skanks, we're studying, learning, gaining skills that are necessary for life. You may scoff at this, call us stupid nerds for not getting the pussy while it's hot, but guess what? We're going to get it eventually. You said so yourself, women love power. So, eventually, you're going to find a women you love as much as she primally needs you. You're going to get married, maybe settle down a bit. Wild sex for the first two years, but after a while, she'll get ansy. She'll grow tired of the novelty of the Alpha Male. Your relationship will become the dull forced marriage that is seen constantly in America. You'll likely divorce her and move on, getting a younger wife that'll need you as much as your old wife did when you first married. Seems swell, doesn't it? I can assure you, it isn't. By now, we have risen to power. While you live the life of the swingers, we are the Senators, the Chairmen, we are the rulers of life as you know it. We have transcended your pitiful existence, and control every aspect of your very fate, without you even so much as noticing. By now, we have the money and the power, and as Scarface once said (We know you love him, and have his poster on your bedroom wall,'cause you're cool like that) next we get the women. And guess who it is that loves power, as you said women do? That's right, it's your little skank of a wife! Now, most of us will likely have settled down with a wife, but I'm sure there are plenty that would be glad to take your wife when she dumps your sorry ass to go to the people she knows have the real power. And, as we get older, our fortunes and power will grow. We'll eventually get a few trophy wives, settle down a bit, and live in the lap of luxury. Meanwhile, you, the "Alpha Male" will be left alone. By the time you hit thirty, your primal attraction, your ONLY asset, will begin to fade. Your third wife in ten years will grow tired of your old, pitiful body, and will leave you. Stuck in a dead-end job as one of our pawns, you will grow old and even less appealing. Eventually you will die an old and unloved man, either by taking your own life, drowning yourself in booze, or perhaps merely out of your own misery. So go ahead. Brag about how many women you are ****ing. Call us losers. We may seem to be upset, and you may mock our pain, but I assure you, we know your fate. And we are smiling inside.

I'm an Alpha male.

And girls want to **** alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you ****ing touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm ****ing her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm ****ing her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?




And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic ****. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to **** 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.

And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bull****? You're triggering her "Don't ****" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to **** her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.




And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.

And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today.

I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep ***ging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.

someone aware me on this female. strong join date to rep ratio. she must have sent some newds

this

I have good post content srs. A fountain of knowledge if you will

Op sorry to tell you, I cucked boyo. I could resist those quads, the way she wrapped them around me hgnnn I couldn't stop myself

Sh!

bleh

Congratulations! Are you registered anywhere? I'd like to send you a Ninja Blender or some real nice cast iron cookware.

The goat pasta

Shutting this down.

The extreme negativity, mysogany, hate, and pure idiocy a lot of you "men" post here daily truly makes me cringe Irl.

The reality here is: OP found a woman he loves and wanted to marry. Did it in an unconventional venue, and was a success. Good for him! Don't be such a negative ******* for the sake of beig a dick...

The insane amount of comments degrading women also has to stop. I'll begin mass banning for those comments when I see them. So knock it off.

OP has more life experience than the vast majority of the misc, with the average age being around 22, and knows his relationship better than anyone here. Who the fuk are you to tear him down? Get a life. Truly.


OP. I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you've found a winner.

Is there an origin to this? I lost it.

"forced" to take my grandfather's M6 to church stop at the mcdonalds I used to work at manager i worked with sees me in the drive thru we hate each other she asks how did I obtain the car I ask for a hamburger, she gives me a hamburger I raise it to my lips and take a bite. My eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. She gives me a hamburger I swallow and look down at the hamburger in my hands. I cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs a pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. She gives me a hamburger I look at her face, and she is pleading with me. The children are crying now I raise the hamburger to my lips, tears stream down my face as I take a bite she gives me a hamburger. I am on my knees.
I plead with her to go across the street. She hears only children's laughter she gives me a hamburger I am screaming as I fall down the stairs. She is my child. I cannot see anything I take a bite of the hamburger the concrete rushes up to meet me I awake with a start in my own bed. My eye twitches involuntarily she gives me a hamburger as I kill her, I do not make a sound she gives me a hamburger...

From 4chan around 2009

Repped, but not going anywhere near 4chan.

This breaks my heart. I guess I'll just have to cuck OP

I need to spread some reputation around before I'm allowed to neg u again

I'm glad u showed up bby x

I guess you guys don't want that blender or cookware. More moniez for me.

Send it my way, always wanted a Ninja

Think I'll send the Hulk Hogan blender instead:

I thought for sure it would be you two.

Damnit y'all let me down.

You're both dead to me. ****ing DEAD