Cliffs:

- OP has a GOAT balance of patience, managing herd psychology and risk calculation
- Since New tax year (1st April), OP has a 9% ROI already in 1 month from 5 holdings
- OP has cashed out EasyJet and BT Group; currently holding Hikma, UK Equity Fund, Mediclinic
- ALL index markets fell today, yet ALL 3 remaining holdings for OP rose GOAT-ly
- OP's best friend is a Dentist who makes >$100,000 per year
- Dentistbrah doesn't know anything about stock market but wants to do something with money
- Dentistbrah doesn't like dentistry and wants to get out ASAP; hence has big cash saved up
- Dentistbrah can afford a Porsche but won't buy one incase he gets sued at any point, etc
- Banks offering something poverty like 0.05% so not even worth growing money that way



So as you can see from above, there's two problems. Dentistbrah has money but doesn't know how to grow it. And OP doesn't have plentiful disposable income but knows how to grow it. So OP offered Dentistbrah a deal:



* Dentistbrah opens an account and deposits his ISA limit (£20,000 + £4,000) = £24,000 ($30,000)
* Dentistbrah gives OP password and OP works his magic with Dentistbrah's money as fund manager
* At the end of the year, OP makes Dentistbrah 5% fixed return i.e. £1,200 ($1,500)
* Anything over £25,200 in Year 1 ($31,500); OP gets to keep as a commission reward
* IF somehow OP loses money and the balance is under £25,200 ($31,500), then OP tops it up from own pocket
* Risk for Dentistbrah is ZERO; and reward potential for OP is possibly 15% if he can knock out 20%/year



Over 5 years, Dentistbrah can tuck away $150,000 cash which becomes $200,000 with return and exchange rate. And if he then wants to get out of dentistry and work as a sales rep in dental products for GSK or P&G taking a pay cut but not having to worry about did I drill too far into that root canal, etc, then he has plenty of cash not to worry about not making 6 figs anymore!



Seems like a win-win situation, especially as OP knows how to cherry pick GOAT stocks by following them for months, buying the bottom, taking a quick 5-20% and then bouncing and repeating with other small but frequent gains. If OP can turn $30,000 into $36,500 for example (a very realistic 16%), he will make $5000 commission as a tertiary income stream for doing something he loves - taking on the markets and winning!



Dentistbrah trusts OP and has seen his returns and was especially mirin' when OP *PRECISELY* pin-pointed to him EXACTLY when to buy VW (90) and exactly when to sell (140) which would have netted him 50 Euros PER share, but he didn't have the risk appetite for it. He says he is very tempted by OP's offer, but will think about it over the bank holiday weekend and get back to OP.


Markets today:


OP YTD since April 1st:

And the good news is that even if you lose the lot, he can always earn more and you can always continue living with your parents and having them look after your every need.

You have 5k total in investments and you're asking someone for 30,000 for 5% fixed return?

What in the fuk, strong trying to hustle your fukin cot damn dentist.

I'm not that guy. I back myself 100%. If I lose his money, even slightly, I will repay every penny. But that won't happen. Because I am WOKE.

Lmao this sounds like a kid who won his first poker hand and now thinks hes a poker expert asking dudes to bankroll him

We ponzi scheme now

What stocks should I buy for long term return

I've only been working just under 1 year and only make just over 40K. From that, I took home around 30K plus change:

- I have 10K cash, paid 1K monthly in a one-way deposit only account towards a house mortgage
- Invested 6K and made £538 (8.97%)
- Bought a new car (2012 BMW 5 Series, 12K)
- Lived on rest; albeit frugally at home


So I don't have several thousands to "invest" right now like Dentistbrah does who's been working coming up to 4 years...

Dentist…..location UK………titer…titer….

This dude really is one of the worst posters on the misc.

These, holy fuk OP. The capitalist in me is extremely giddy from this but maybe get a little more time under your belt before bankrolling 30k.

That's not really my style. I prefer to track stocks which are solid companies but going through a temporarily year low phase. Then look for moody & fitch ratings, annual profit announcements, and when there's broker forecasts showing buy and outperform ratings, I get in after ex-div fall and hold until I take a quick 5-10%.

For example, EasyJet after ex-div fell to 914.50. I bought in at 917 and cashed out at 1063. A small amount but lots of these kinds of wins = GOAT long term returns. I should have held a bit longer because EZJ is currently sitting at something like 1150 but i'm satisfied at what I took and need to stay disciplined.

If you're looking at long term investments, dump your money into funds and just leave them there!

WOW you're such a genius for lucking out on a few trades. Surely you will be able to earn sustainable returns of >20% which not even the smartest investors and hedge funds can achieve. Didn't you claim to work in IB before when you really don't?

Picked 5 stocks

Picked 5 winners

Do you know who else had a 100% win record? Floyd Money Mayweather

You basically asked your friend for a personal loan at 5% interest.. Discover has some 0 origination personal loans for cheap, as low as 7%, you could look into Sofi or Prosper or any other crowdfunded loan source, but 7% is about as low as you're going to find.. so you could take out $20,000 and then put it in a margin account and have about $40k to play with.. if you are so good the interest will barely dent your profits.

I never claim I work in IB. I said I have worked in IB. My experience in the financial world despite not being much, probably is more than 99% of the Misc:

- 2 weeks Banking
- 10 weeks Corporate Finance placement
- 3 month Commodities Trading internship

made $500, ready for hedgefund

Floyd Mayweather made $25,000 in his first professional fight

The same man made $250,000,000 in his fight against Manny Pacquiao



It's not about how much you start with; it's about the skill you consistently exemplify throughout your career.

legit LOL whenever i see OP's username

Lmao made 9% in one month and thinks that it's typical and not an anomaly...clearly has no experience with the markets.

BRB I don't have a high school education but made 300% on the first stock I invested in (srs) I should be running billion dollar hedgefunds

A one off is an anomaly, I agree. But to pick 5 and have 5 winners, come on bro?


Do you know who else has 5 wins? 5 Rings?

Yoooo wrekt fukkin repped

Guarantee you will lose to the S&P500 index in the long run.

It's an even bigger anomaly to pick 5 and have 5 winners...

What company do you do your trading with?

If I had collateral, I'd do the same as the dentist.

Invest in me?

Binomial(n=5,p=0.5)
P(X=5) = 1/32 which is still fairly significant

Don't go thinking it's skill until you've made say 50-100 trades - and with much more capital...

If you get his money just play it safe with an index and you'll most likely get ~10%pa which nets you a cool 5% no effort

Oh and also I'm not too sure about the strategy of buying ex-div. to be honest I think the only think I've read about price anomalies with dividends is that prices tend to fall LESS than the dividend amount..

Yeah, but it's a gamble so I'd need collateral.

I will definitely play it safe with the money, but I will also take advantage of opportunities. That's my style. Not necessarily playing ex-divs, but that was an example from above. I think a proportion will be put into funds, a small percentage into emerging markets, but the majority will be split between following companies bottoming out and buying a wheelbarrow to carry my massive balls when I have forecasted the bottom based on around 10-12 factors and then firmly knowing my exit point.

I'm not day trading, but i'm not investing long term. I am playing the poker equivalent of small ball