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Forum ยป Have You Ever Fallen Out of Love/Lost Interest After A long Relationship?
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Thread: Have You Ever Fallen Out of Love/Lost Interest After A long Relationship?

post 1519200371 09-12-2017, 01:45 PM
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I'm not saying I'm in this position currently but I'm just wondering. Have any of you guys or gals been with some one for a decent amount of time, like let's say 2 years or more, maybe living with your significant other and then suddenly it hits you maybe because of something said you just don't feel the same anymore? Or maybe you just don't click anymore or you just lose interest?

I'm saying for example you are with someone for a good amount of time, its a serious relationship, you are both faithful, have plans for a future. Then just over the coarse of anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks you relieve that not the person you want to be with for the rest of your life? Or you think maybe your life would be more enjoyable if you weren't committed to the relationship in that moment and time? Or you just feel kinda sick of or bored of the person or whatever?
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post 1519200521 09-12-2017, 01:46 PM
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Single is the new married with 4 kids, trust me.
post 1519201151 09-12-2017, 01:51 PM
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I'm particularly talking about a relationship that's been serious, faithful, and long. But something happens to make you feel like you want out, even though before you could get passed all the arguments and issues before. Something just clicks after a long time with the person where you just go fuk it I'm done with this crap, I want to do other things or whatever.
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post 1519201381 09-12-2017, 01:53 PM
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Then you gotta work your chit out. People fall in and out of love all the time.
post 1519201561 09-12-2017, 01:54 PM
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The same thing over and over and over gets boring. Most people just try to deny this reality.
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post 1519201861 09-12-2017, 01:56 PM
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Yes. Almost all of my serious and committed relationships ended due to some iteration of me losing interest after 1-2 years. My first boy friend in HS, we were together for 2 years, and one day I decided to move 400 miles away for college and ended it. First college boyfriend was basically the same, I realized it wouldn't last about a year in but I was young and didn't really know how to break up with someone for no apparent reason other than I just *know*. So that dragged on until year two and he proposed... and I said no. The next one I learned, so after a few months, he's a single dad, I know at 22 I didn't want to be step mom, so I broke it off.

The very latest ex, almost 2.5 years, he moved away for his career, I chose to stay for my career. We tried to make it work for months, but in the end, I'm not willing to move and put him first... so why bother?

I wouldn't use me as a stereotypical example though. I've only told my college bf the "I love you"s and I lied. Never been in love.
They said she's gone too far this time

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post 1519202301 09-12-2017, 02:00 PM
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Let me put it this way OP. My parents separated recently after almost 36 years of marriage.
post 1519202461 09-12-2017, 02:02 PM
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I read something once that only a very small percentage of people (like 1%) remain in love after a certain amount of time, srs
post 1519202661 09-12-2017, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
The same thing over and over and over gets boring. Most people just try to deny this reality.
It really does, and even when things are going good, something always sets you back again. The repetitive process is exhausting. It doesn't seem worth it. Especially when you can find greater fulfillment elsewhere. Then when it does come down to the time to really settle down you might only have a choice of used up sloots on the other side of the coin.
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post 1519203051 09-12-2017, 02:07 PM
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The grass will always be greener on the other side, no matter what your lawn looks like.

Best life advice ever is - Find a hobby that you are so attached to/love so much that you could go the rest of your life without a single other thing and you will never be bored.

^finding this is easier said than done but trust me. It is the key to life
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post 1519203181 09-12-2017, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted By TrinnieBuu⏩
Yes. Almost all of my serious and committed relationships ended due to some iteration of me losing interest after 1-2 years. My first boy friend in HS, we were together for 2 years, and one day I decided to move 400 miles away for college and ended it. First college boyfriend was basically the same, I realized it wouldn't last about a year in but I was young and didn't really know how to break up with someone for no apparent reason other than I just *know*. So that dragged on until year two and he proposed... and I said no. The next one I learned, so after a few months, he's a single dad, I know at 22 I didn't want to be step mom, so I broke it off.

The very latest ex, almost 2.5 years, he moved away for his career, I chose to stay for my career. We tried to make it work for months, but in the end, I'm not willing to move and put him first... so why bother?

I wouldn't use me as a stereotypical example though. I've only told my college bf the "I love you"s and I lied. Never been in love.
Wow very interesting input, it really speaks volumes to how the human brain works. We can fight human nature all we want but in rarely succeeds, also we all have a point where we nomkaftee how much we may care for someone as a person, no matter how much we love them, we fall out of love with them (or maybe you never were in the first place) and we then put ourselves first (we have to eventually). Our happiness, our fulfillment. Even though it will most often but the significant other in a state of heartbreak. Which none of us wants to see happen.
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post 1519203361 09-12-2017, 02:09 PM
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That's really crazy, at this point are they trying to start new lives or are they ok with being alone?
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post 1519203411 09-12-2017, 02:10 PM
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I think I fell out of love with the relationship and what we were doing. But by all means, even after a year, I still love my ex gf. I think to me, she was an amazing person, and we grew a lot together. I met her at 16 and were broken up by 21. I guess we came to a realization that the relationship was not working anymore. I do still love her though, I genuinely care about her well being and happiness more than most other people, but we are just not together and NC.
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post 1519203471 09-12-2017, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
It really does, and even when things are going good, something always sets you back again. The repetitive process is exhausting. It doesn't seem worth it. Especially when you can find greater fulfillment elsewhere. Then when it does come down to the time to really settle down you might only have a choice of used up sloots on the other side of the coin.
What do you mean repetitive? I have been with my girlfriend just over 3 years and feel like the relationship is getting better and better.

Maybe your personalities don't match up together, you don't have shared interests. We hike, run, play basketball, tennis, pool etc together frequently.

I think too many people settle with someone they think is attractive, nice personality, won't cheat and that's enough initially... but after a few months/years it isn't.
post 1519203631 09-12-2017, 02:11 PM
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Haven't found that yet, life seems to be repetitive and lacks fulfillment.
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post 1519203791 09-12-2017, 02:13 PM
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I can relate to that a lot, not about an ex though. But how you explain falling out of love with the relationship and not the person.
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post 1519203981 09-12-2017, 02:14 PM
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I think when people get to this point they need to communicate and remember why they got together in the first place
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post 1519204001 09-12-2017, 02:14 PM
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Yep.

4 years from 21-25 or so.

She gained weight so she got dumped. Ain't no one got time for that.
post 1519204151 09-12-2017, 02:15 PM
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It's natural before a certain age to give up on a decent relationship out of boredom or curiosity to see what else is out there.

Tougher when you're a bit older and you start to think "if i want kids - this is the relationship to have them in."
When that becomes the case, you have to decide how much you're willing to give and take to make said relationship work and progress.
post 1519204341 09-12-2017, 02:17 PM
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There's 3 key things that make a LTR work

Trust, commitment and passion

Passion is not going to remain constant, it comes and goes, it's an emotion. No one is constantly happy or angry.

The ones that have to remain constant are the other two. That's what holds it together, commitment.

Now back to your regular scheduled programming

What's his name op?
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post 1519204461 09-12-2017, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted By TrinnieBuu⏩
Yes. Almost all of my serious and committed relationships ended due to some iteration of me losing interest after 1-2 years. My first boy friend in HS, we were together for 2 years, and one day I decided to move 400 miles away for college and ended it. First college boyfriend was basically the same, I realized it wouldn't last about a year in but I was young and didn't really know how to break up with someone for no apparent reason other than I just *know*. So that dragged on until year two and he proposed... and I said no. The next one I learned, so after a few months, he's a single dad, I know at 22 I didn't want to be step mom, so I broke it off.

The very latest ex, almost 2.5 years, he moved away for his career, I chose to stay for my career. We tried to make it work for months, but in the end, I'm not willing to move and put him first... so why bother?

I wouldn't use me as a stereotypical example though. I've only told my college bf the "I love you"s and I lied. Never been in love.
Negged whore
post 1519204581 09-12-2017, 02:19 PM
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Never been in a relationship with someone I had actual feelings for crew

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post 1519204651 09-12-2017, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted By LethalGunz34⏩
Let me put it this way OP. My parents separated recently after almost 36 years of marriage.
Same. Parents just seperated after 26 years. Kind of out of nowhere too.
I think everyone goes through this predicament at some point in time. It's most difficult when you know you kind of want/need to be single to do your own things, yet you know you probably won't find someone else who is as good for you again.
post 1519204931 09-12-2017, 02:22 PM
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Here's the real question: What is love?
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post 1519204961 09-12-2017, 02:22 PM
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@GiveMeTheD

To be honest, even on the bb misc I try not to get into my relationships too much. I'd say things like me wanting to experience other women because of my young age of 20 (about to be 21) I was only in relationship with other girl in middle school. My girl was a virgin when I met her. I still want to experience other body types and women. My girlfriend isn't ok with that and understandably so. We seem to have run out of conversational topics, repetitive arguments, sorta argumentative, differing interests, lack of understanding some of my thoughts. But I couldn't ask for a more loving girlfriend, who only wants to be with one person (me), who would make a great wife, who is faithful, who want a nuclear family type thing minus the religious aspect (she was religious I converted her to Agnosticism) and who agrees with my politically.
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post 1519205201 09-12-2017, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted By DesiredUser****⏩
Here's the real question: What is love?
True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
post 1519205281 09-12-2017, 02:25 PM
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@VelvetMud

What if you've already done that several times only to end up back in the same place eventually again?
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post 1519205431 09-12-2017, 02:26 PM
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Then it's time to grow a set of balls and move on.
post 1519205491 09-12-2017, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
It's natural before a certain age to give up on a decent relationship out of boredom or curiosity to see what else is out there.

Tougher when you're a bit older and you start to think "if i want kids - this is the relationship to have them in."
When that becomes the case, you have to decide how much you're willing to give and take to make said relationship work and progress.
I agree.
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post 1519205561 09-12-2017, 02:27 PM
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Originally Posted By SicilianPower⏩
@GiveMeTheD

To be honest, even on the bb misc I try not to get into my relationships too much. I'd say things like running out of me wanting to experience other women because of my young age of 20 (about to be 21) I was only in relationship with other girl in middle school. my girl was a virgin when I met her. I still want to experience other body types and women. My girlfriend isn't ok with that and understandably so. We seem to have run out of conversational topics, repetitive arguments, sorta argumentative, differing interests, lack of understanding some of my thoughts. But I couldn't ask for a more loving girlfriend, who only wants to be with one person (me), who would make a great wife, who is faithful, who want a nuclear family type thing minus the religious aspect (she was religious I converted her to Agnosticism) and who agrees with my politically.
and yet.... you want to explore. don't get me wrong bro, i'm not judging you, its just basic biology. you just have to make sure that when you get married, you're with her for life.
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