This is gonna be a short thread aimed at the lost / unhappy miscers based on what I've noticed over the last few years.

Firstly happiness cant be a place. It's only one single emotion. It's not possible to be 'happy' 24/7. I think the best you can hope for is contentment or relaxed / low stress / bored.

I've tried buying happiness so much, especially in the last couple of years. It doesnt work. It will make you feel better for a week or a month, and then the novelty of it will wear off - or you will get used to it and it will become the norm and then anything lower in value becomes "rubbish". This is why I think some people could say that Rich people are actually unhappier. Like because I'm used to eating at a lot of nice/expensive restaurants, its ruined your average pub/restaurant food for me, because I realise how bad it is.

Everyone gets tricked into materialism/rat race life. Behave. Work hard in school. Conform to society. Go to Uni. Get a good job. Work really hard in your job, climb to the top, get a corner office and a PA - then maybe, if youre really, really lucky - retire at 55-65 years old, then sell your house to downsize and retire..

Think of yourself standing infront of 10 spinning plates on sticks and you gotta keep spinning them or they fall and crash. That is basically life. Each plate represents a different category. One plate friendships, one family, fitness/health, career, savings etc..
Or maybe its better to think of it like, you have 100% to spend. If you put 90% into Career (Think Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos etc) - I bet for the majority of their life, they had ZERO social circle, poor relationships with family members, had chit bodies, were really unhappy or too autistic to realise how badly the rest of their life was falling apart.

Whilst having more money reduces your problems and stress levels, buys your options and time - If you find yourself chasing money, then you will NEVER be happy. There will always be someone with a bigger boat, house, sexier wife etc. Youre chasing the idea of something that you think will make your life complete - but it wont.

When I bought my first bought, it only cost £15K (I was 21 years old i think?). I didnt care it needed lots of work doing to it. I didnt care that it was from the 1980s or that it had unusual quirks/character. It made me SO happy. Now since I started making money, I look at boats and literally anything under £150K or so looks like utter garbage. Its like its suddenly warped my expectations , because im like "well I NEED to have a few double beds for guests. Well i NEED a power shower. Or I NEED a washing machine on board too" etc - it just gets stupid.

Same with when I bought my dream car (AC Cobra) - now if I buy another car - it will have to be faster, look sexier, be more desirable/collectable and that means it will have to cost more.

Anyway, im getting off topic.. You gotta allocate time/energy/effort into every aspect of your life. At the moment I am looking like this;

Work : 20%
Fitness/Health : 40%
Friends: 40%
Family: 0%

A lot of people reckon that contributing back to society helps improve their lives a lot. Like volunteering in a soup kitchen or something. Now dont neg me, but people have said that for a long time and I dont understand how it will make me feel better, but maybe I should try it - but then wouldnt the narcissism of only helping someone so you feel better about yourself - counter the feeling of feeling good for contributing in the first place?


Anyway, my golden tip for the younger kids on here:

Decide what type of lifestyle you want. What type of cars you want to drive, holidays you want to go on, house you want to live in - then build a career/salary aimed to run in line with that.

I've decided that for the kind of life I want to live, £100K salary+ is the minimum that will allow me to do that. With the extra time/stress saved from trying to chase making millions a year, I have been able to have a much more enjoyable life (hobbies, sports, social circle has improved ten fold etc.)


Cliffs:

* Find Balance in your life
* Stop striving for dat Instagram life - it's all fake, financed and smoke and mirrors.
* Decide lifestyle you want - cater salary to that.
* Coming into money fast will change your expectations on quality - try not to let it. Stay modest/humble.
* Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Only use your past self as a bench mark.
* Stay present. I get anxious as **** about worrying about things that may or may not happen 5 years down the line.
* Spend time with those you love, or those who love you
* Connect with others and built deep meaningful connections with them.
* Focus your time/effort on things you love or that bring you happiness. If youre feeling down, write down a list of 50 things that make you happy and then when youre feeling down go out and make yourself do one of those things.
*Notice the small things - stop thinking of major milestones (e.g. Work promotion, buying a new car, end of year bonus etc) - appreciate the small things. Every morning I go out into the garden at like 6am and have a cup of coffee and listen to all the birds singing. It makes me happy.



Share your tips and I'll rep you. Maybe we can get this as one big positive / self development thread?


Post 3 tips for happiness below + 3 things youre not happy with currently + 3 things you are focusing on improving

chit that was longer than I was hoping. Was tempted to delete it, but maybe it will be of use to one person.

I guess what im trying to say is that whilst its nice to have nice things (Car, house, boats, helicopters etc) - for me, I think having the money in savings / financial independence brings me more happiness, because if I make a list of 100 things that give me pleasure, I dont actually need much money for them (Pub lunches with friends, mountain biking, dog walks, fishing with the boys, sailing with friends, snorkelling etc)

Edit: the fuk you making your life hard for? brb dividing attention into percentages, then spending 30 minutes every evening assessing whether I put enough or too much time into different castes of my life like family, money, fitness etc.

Shorter cliffs:

- money doesn't buy happiness
- find what you like and enjoy it
- take care of yourself, travel and don't take life too seriously

/end

1) maintaining health is important, and actually helps your career
2) not everyone wants you to succeed. Find out who they are and cut them from your life.
3) focus on your own comparative advantage, not absolute advantage.

My current focus is positioning myself to Work fewer hours but make the same money, and grow my “side” hustle

I agree with the premise (40/40/20) but even getting to the point of a comfortable income is getting more and more difficult these days. Even getting to the £100k income by wagecucking is ****ing hard these days. Even at 32, I'm close but not yet there. So much of achieving this is beyond individual control - there isn't a linear correlation with hard work and income, and politics/nepotism can create a barrier to achieving high incomes. Also, it seems unrealistic to dedicate 20% energy into a job which pays £100k+.

Overall what youwrote is fair enough, but it seems more of a luxury to think about AFTER we make it financially. I think the main point is around managing the hedonic treadmill.

A1: Find the true love of your life.
A2: Have kids.
A3: Be financially free to have a reasonable but comfortable lifestyle.

B1: My shredz.
B2: My muscle mass.
B3: The weather.

C1: Getting in the best shape of my life for summer.
C2-3: Nothing else. I‘m happy with every aspect of my life.

Will reply to all when I have a bit more time.Definitely getting £100K+ by wagecelling is hard as ****, no lie about that. Thats why you do it the other way, by setting up a business.

And 20% energy relates to automation / outsourcing. Its possible.Sounds like you made it brah! Everything seems like its coming together

Once you learn to stop taking life so seriously and to be thankful for what you have life is much more enjoyable.. people will say that is cope but I disagree. So many miscers I cringe because they take their lives so seriously, sure they might bang a lot of hot sloots, sure they might drive a lexus sure they might be making 6 figures..etc. but they just don't seem happy, I think that is the true cope. I mean yeah you want to strive to improve yourself, your health, your relationships, your job..etc. but that shouldn't occupy all of your time/mental capacity. sometimes you just need to take a chill pill, some people forget how to do that, or some people instead of looking inward they judge others..etc. I am happy to just rot sometimes, seriously it's peaceful and nice after working hard all week. (Lol wagecel alert!!) then you have some people that are wagecels too and the weekend comes and they aren't even excited about it or they just go get drunk or something.

I would also add to this that everyone keeps saying "start your own business" and not having the first clue about running a business. If you can get past the fact that 90% of businesses fail within the first year of operating and another 90% in 5 years, you still have to consider that starting a legitimate working business isn't creating a 5 minute shopify store and watching 10k a month roll in. It's about having something to offer that no other business offers yet, hustling 20 hours a day to find your clients, hustling another 20 hours a day to keep them satisfied and actually trying to have a life outside of it. Then failing in 2 years to try another and another and another and another business until you've failed 99 times. Then you will either make it or never succeed. Unless you're an exception to the rule where you start gymshark as your first enterprise and nail it right away.

There is 1 in 100k miscers who are actually willing to do what it takes.

I can understand that its difficult and super rare etc, but you gotta be in it, to win it - right? I had like 5-6 different businesses before my current one and they were all profitable, but I just got bored of them or I couldnt see how they were scalable at the time.

My current biz (luckily) just fell into my lap. I setup a youtube channel doing what I found interesting and then I quickly discovered a niche market from there and started capitalising on it.

For me, my (current) purpose in life is to be an awesome husband and when the time comes father. I want to be able to provide multi-generational wealth for my immediate family. Other than that, I just want to chill out, play music, make art, spend time gardening, sunbathing, travelling and hanging out with friends etc. Thats my only goal. Everything else comes and goes.

That is almost exactly the dream life I always wanted and have been living for the past four years. It‘s really what life should be like. Keep on pushing hard brother, it was not an easy path for me to get there but the reward is unbelievably sweet.

Didn't read arn't you the guy who loves his job
of course you'd be happy
negged srs

[B]A) Post 3 tips for happiness below

- Exercise
- Socialising
- Eating well



B) 3 things youre not happy with currently
- Unemployed
- Not financially independent at age 25
- Spend money on hookers and gambling

C) 3 things you are focusing on improving
- Want to do well at the next job i have no matter what it is (i've done bad at all my jobs)
- Want to spend less time gambling and hookers
- Want to try and make more friends

But you gotta realize, most start out like that, struggling to make it.

If I can offer one piece of advice, it's start doing it immediately. And by "it" I mean chilling out, playing music, making art, travelling, exploring new cultures etc. If you set a goal after which to do all of these things you might never make it. Do it now while you're still young, able-bodied and full of energy because we all know there comes a time when you're a geriatric fart who has to sit down every 5 minutes walking down the street while you could be hiking mountains in micronesia at this very moment.

everyone knows what to do, but they just don't do it. me included.

I wouldnt say I was "happy" on the hole. I'd rate my life like a solid 7 or 8 - its good - but there are still areas which im massively unsatisfied. There are still areas which are causing stress / drama.

I was hoping we could all share tips to enlighten each other to new ideas to help change the way of our thinking.

The best thing that you can do to become happier in life is to become debt free.

Why try when it's all about the face?

OP didnt you recently just post on how you have no motivation to work anymore? I don't think thats happiness, interdeterminate on current wealth.

[B]A) Post 3 tips for happiness below

- Exercise
- Keep track of "the score"; your goals daily/longterm
- practice solution-driven thinking



B) 3 things youre not happy with currently
- I don't own real estate
- Don't have an LTR
- Don't like where im living in Canada

C) 3 things you are focusing on improving
- making 150k year as first goal post
- make amends with one of the HBBS i've had faults with or find another
- once saved up enough move to another place in canada...


been actively working on this for awhile though

Yeah I dont have much motivation to work, although things are getting better now and Im getting back into the swing of things.

I didnt also post this thread saying "hey im happy, this are my tips" - im saying im just working towards it / its a work in progress. I thought we could share tips with each other to help ensure success.

3 tips for happiness:
- wake up early and read a few chapters of a book before going to the gym
- 80/20 rule for eating. Dont obsess over your diet, you're not Kai Green.
- Keep a positive outlook. Negative thoughts spread like cancer.

Not happy with currently:
- I have a hard time focusing on one hobby. I have too many.
- lack of my cardio days
- close friends of mine are settling down too early and with the wrong women. It's frustrating

Focusing on improving:
- cardio days
- cutting down on alcohol
- positive mindset

What are all your hobbies (besides computer stuff)?

Sounds good bro. I agree with the not obsessing over diet + positive outlook (although positive outlook can be easier said than done). I think instead of keeping a positive outlook, maybe initially it would be easier to just instantly try and kill any negative/toxic thinking. Im guilty of it though, I like to be pessimistic and then get pleasantly surprised. Rather than optimistic and disappointed. Its relative to the situation I guess.

Hobby wise, youre always going to have that, unless you work for yourself or have some kind of super flexible time plan. I have tons of hobbies too that I feel I cant do all of them because of too many commitments (work, dogs, cats, wife, house, etc).

For me:

3 tips for happiness:
- In OP

Not happy with currently:
- My 'to do list' is ****ing ridiculous. The last 3 months I've felt like ive been treading water and plateauing because I've been plagued with time commitments, or a mixture of unexpected and expected big fianancial outgoings etc. I didnt realise I was having a bad quarter (life/work) until I've started seeing the light coming out of it. I just went full autist mode one day and analysed my life on like every level to try and workout why I wasnt happy, and realised it was because I was just being fleeced left, right and centre for various things - so hopefully with a new budget in place + financial outgoings expected to reduce massively from now onwards too.
- Want to take body to next level mode. Working on this atm. A motorbike crash 2 years ago set me back and I lost all my gains and had to start again from scratch basically. Did one big bulk (mistake), followed by a dramatic PSMF style cut, where I probs lost like 15lbs of muscle (never doing that again). So now that im single digit bodyfat, im planning on slow lean bulking and then slow cutting after. Hopefully be looking decent by the end of the year. Wanna be single digit bodyfat with 165lbs +
- Want more stability in life. Bought a puppy (hes a cutie) in December, and hes still young and learning loads, but looking forward to when I can walk him longer and hes a little bit better on the lead. Im sure this will come / be fine in like 3-6 months time as he gets oler.


Focusing on improving:
- Spending more time working / take things to next level with that business
- Setup a new business doing property development / real estate investing to reinvest my 1st business profits into.
- Increase classic car collection
- Cut back on smoking at 4:20pm
- Reduce ALL stress. Stop commiting to things that I dont care about / dont make him happy / put me in a bad mood.
- Increase water intake, increase vegetables/fruit intake, reduce carb intake. Remove all processed foods. I might look into Vitamin IV Drips / Vitamin supplementation or any other supplements or nootropics that could help improve productivity/effectiveness.

Presence was the biggest gamechanger for me during depression. I'm always referencing it when giving depressed bros advice because

-It removes all thought that feeds depression
-It makes you appreciate what's in front of you

I remember the first time it happened, I was going on a walk, just listening and watching the wind blow through the trees, and got this overwhelming happy feeling through my body. The world is such an incredible place but we wall ourselves off from it with our negative thoughts.

Also helps BIG time when working on your goals, because then you never doubt yourself you just enjoy the process.

Thats a really nice outlook. Reminds me a bit of something that I read somewhere online and saved to one of my evernote sheets.


We as humans like to think that there's such thing as stability. We crave it so much, and a lot of the work we do is to reach this pinnacle of life where things are stable, and somehow, that leads to happiness or fulfillment or whatever we're looking for.

But life isn't stable. It's not a stagnant pool, but a rushing river that flows and changes constantly. Even though we all know this to be true, we are often completely blindsided and heartbroken when big change happens, as if that's not how life has happened for all of eternity. We are always somehow forgetting that life will always change whether you're ready for it or not.

I think if we made a conscious effort to just admit to ourselves that stability is a fallacy and that change is what we get out of life, we would be a lot happier. We could enjoy the good things while they're here because we know that one day, they'll be gone. We can get past the bad things while they're here because we know that one day, they'll be gone as well. The more energy we spend trying to manipulate the world to achieve a sense of "stability," the less energy we are able to spend just simply enjoying where we are and what we have in this moment.

Also a FANTASTIC movie that I can recommend to people who are either depressed or want to watch a really good movie either way, check out About Time.

bumping this thread - fuk bruhs. I sounded so high/depressed ITT.

I think at the time I was depressed (not horrendously.. I dont want to take anything away from people that are genuinely depressed) but definitely unhappy / unsatisfied with how things were.

Although my life is in a WAY better place (despite covid/lockdowns) than when I wrote this first thread 2 years ago - it's funny that there are still things im unsatisfied with and looking to change.

The quote in my post above still makes sense. Perhaps if you're always goal driven/highly ambitious - you are always denying yourself of being happy - because you are saying something like "oh when I get to X stage I will then be happy and satisfied" or when I purchase Y I will finally be happy..


For now, what I'm working on is;

1) Losing bodyfat/working out core more. I want really sick midsection/abs. I got really lean before, but never had that great abs - so going to work them harder this time. I hate the idea of being a 50 year old and showing my kids what sick shape I was in - using photographs that already exist (if that makes sense). I'd like to think that I havent already reached peak aesthetics years ago..

2) Workmaxxing - wanting to grow and expand my business

3) Starting to stick my fingers in different work pies. Already this year I've started up 3 more income sources and looking to expand on this in further over the next year or two.

4) After the next 12 months or so, and when lockdown starts to open up again after covid - I plan on reinvesting a lot into myself. I've been pretty tight in my 20s - making sure that the first things taken care of were equity in house, cash savings. But I need to diversify more and spend more $ on myself too - as I think that will pay off ten fold.


Excited AF for the future tbh. Knowing exactly what I want and actively working towards it. Big Dreams!

How are you motivated to make money?

I find my outlook to be very negative about any endeavour. I have ideas for businesses, things that would probably take a couple of weeks to lay the ground work for, and yet I struggle extremely to take action.

I've always worked for myself, but I've never had great work ethic when it comes to forcing myself to do work when I don't want to. Money used to excite me and the idea of generating new business and new work would make me enthusiastic, but lately I've found it extremely extremely challenging to work, and I am seeking a 9-5 just because that way I will be accountable to a schedule of working and not reliant upon my own discipline, and there's some certainty of the outcome (unless you get fired lol).

Funny thing is though, when I was doing well for myself I was never disciplined, I was just excited about working. There was no resistance. I can't imagine that successful entrepreneurs are fighting this massive hurdle of getting down to the desk each day, there's no way you can build a sustainable lifestyle if every day it's takes so much just to get a little work done.

I know this is a thread about happiness, but I find a large area of my life that's lacking is finances at the moment, and that results in much of my unhappiness.

I often think if these successful people are wired differently or if they've just figured something out that I haven't.

I literally feel like a different person compared to who I used to be. I used to have so much fire to get after it and today I have none.
I feel like if you believe in what you're doing, you don't need the discipline, because you're fired up to work 24/7. At least that has been my experience. I used to pull all nighters to work for extra cash on a tighter deadline, and now some days I can't even open up my laptop for 15 minutes to crank out an overdue email.

I was never a crazy successful person, but I used to have the drive. These days I just feel empty.