No, I was heavily bullied from 6th-10th grade.

I was small and weak. Was almost suffocated, twice. I was brought to tears in public multiple times.

It may have made me want to be kinder to people. But I was already kind.

I was just fukkin' around, but I'm sorry that you went through that.

Yes, I understand that.

But no matter how much someone tries to help another, you can't show someone the way if they don't want to take it.

It stands to reason that one must be willing to accept an idea to hold it. If someone is unwilling to let go of their negative, or simply unconstructive, ideas, they cannot hold new, constructive ones.

And from what I've seen, time and time again, wincel is unwilling to budge from the defensive position he's spent decades formulating.

You didn't contribute to it, so you don't need to apologize for anything. In the end, I grew up, and I live a happy life that I am thankful for. Don't fret brah.You're right, me wanting Wincel to improve is not enough, alone, for him to improve.

Wincel has to want Wincel to improve.

And I'm vouching for him because I believe in him.

And this is the issue I’ll never be ok with, people that don’t want to help themselves. I spent years as a miserable, fat kid. I was the funny, fat kid that no one would fuk. I got sick of being ignored at parties and sh!t like that so I decided it was time to fat be fat and I changed.

I’ve been through most of what these guys with excuses after excuse have been through and more...you either sit in your sh!t or figure it out.

Then let me ask you this;

If you were to go back to some of the worst spots you were in, and give yourself advice--and I mean, legitimate advice, what would it be?

Surely if you say Bobby from 10 years ago down and said; "Just get better." He really wouldn't know what to do.

Knowing what you know about your life and how your improvements changed your life; how would you guide past Bobby so that he could become present time Bobby?

How did you figure it all out?

This would make a really good thread. Not that any one person has it all figured out that would be ridiculous but it would be interesting to hear from people who seem to not be total fukups.

Word for word what I would say:

"Look TBO, I know you won't listen to sense because you think you have it all figured out but hedonism and nihilism is a path to self destruction. This will be fun for a while but you'll end up regretting a lot of what you're doing. People aren't your personal playthings and whether you want to believe it or not you're leaving wake of destruction behind you. Just because you can is not a good enough reason to do something that could have serious consequences for others. I know you feel like you've been wronged for being naive and kind but you will find no happiness that isn't fleeting on your current path. I know you think you've gone too far but its not too late to turn it around."

Things I am doing to improve: I have been working on trying to be more positive, and actually I had some rly good news recently so I am feeling a bit more optimistic now.

I am not making much progress academically/professionally. I've had issues finishing my tasks.

I could work on being more disciplined and try not to dwell on futility or hopelessness.

My current opinion of myself is fairly low. I am not very functional.

I enjoy being able to read and learn things.

I do not enjoy my lack of career success, physical characteristics, or the things I have experienced.

thx brah no homo

What is stopping you from elevating your career?

That was poignant, but profound.

Have my reps brah.
Honestly, it's just nice in general to hear about how brahs overcame adversity and hardship to become better people.

I love a success story like anybody else. But I love a good redemption story so much more.Wincel, this is exactly why I believe in you. Because you've become much more honest and self-aware lately, but you recognize that improvement can occur.

Being able to formulate and express the way you feel about your current situation is a huge step in the right direction. You can't change an issue that you don't know is an issue.

So that being said, can I ask why you feel like you are not very functional? If you can explain why you feel like you aren't it will also help you figure out how to be more functional.

Also, I'm glad you got some good news recently brah. You deserve some goodness in your life.

Academically, do you feel like you are having trouble finishing your tasks because you are not interested? Or is it because of lack of discipline?

12 pages in, can someone explain why so many people are invested in this guy? Dude, I don't know anything about you, but are you giving money away? How is there so much content on one poster?

It's all depression. Sometimes I just lie in bed all day and misc on phone and sleep. I've had trouble staying focused on things. Had constant suicidal ideation. I go to therapy, but it doesn't help much. It is hard to focus or feel like anything matters when you think you might not be here tomorrow or next week or whenever. I just feel like I am stuck in limbo. Don't really want to be here, but also not ready to leave. I just need to get out of this rut. I feel like things are getting better though. I don't think I will ever have a normal life though.

Its never too late to change brah. 10 years ago if you told me where I am today I wouldn't have believed you.

heh yea I wouldn't have believed id be where I'm at now 10 years ago either. Idk...at some point, it becomes too late to fix things. The past already happened. But I've learned a few ways to cope.

checking in

Assuming you're mid 20s to mid 30s you have plenty of time. There are a lot of people out there that don't have it together at that age. The first thing I did to turn it around for me was to get my career in order. I came up with a plan and started to execute. This will help with your confidence and self esteem. Nothing wrong with coping to deal with things that have already happened but don't let past mistakes ruin future prospects. Everybody screws up. Learn from it and don't dwell

Exactly. I'm also curious what's the legit worst people have been through. But then it would just become a competition, like twisted 10k/CEO threads lol

I genuinely understand where you are because I've been there.

I wrote out my story a few moments ago, but it's too long and bb.com won't let me post it. Honestly, maybe it's for the better, because there's a lot of chit in there I genuinely have trouble admitting because it feels a bit disingenuous to the identity I have on these forums as somebody who is always positive.

If you PM me I will send it to you, if only as a show that chit does actually get better.

But it ends a lot like this;

I started making efforts to care about myself more.
I did this by committing myself to a routine grooming/teeth brushing/showering and cleaning schedule

I started making efforts to be there for others again.
I did this by making the commitment to trying to listen to my friends, and be present in their lives again

I started doing what I could to make my days feel like a better place.
I started to add little things to my morning routine, like sitting down with coffee and a book. Making it a "thing". Finding little ways to occupy my day with a new activity that wasn't sitting down at the computer, or pissing time away with video games.

I started finding little ways to be in the moment when I could.
I did this by taking time out of the day every two or three hours to observe my current environment, and find something beautiful about it. I resolved to admire that one beautiful thing, and hold it in my mind for a little while. I would then take in the scents, sounds that I heard, and think about them for a little bit.

I started finding ways to smile again.
I did this by spending time looking for the humor in situations, instead of looking for the bad parts. I tried to laugh at the circumstances I was in, instead of lamenting them.

I started finding ways to make others smile.
I did this by genuinely listening, and offering my love to them. I did this by spending time in the presence of people I enjoyed, and rooting for their success. I did this by encouraging others to improve.

I started finding my way back into hobbies again.
I started urban exploration again, and managed to get myself back into my boxing gym to start training for a fight. I wanted to redeem myself.

I started takingvery longwalks, where I'd just go as far as I could.
And in the process, I learned that when I lived unfettered, I could go wherever I wanted. I could have walked as far as I wanted. I would walk miles and miles, and that'd just be my day. I'd say hello, and stop to talk to people, and I'd ask them how they were doing--and genuinely want to know.

I started searching for adventure again.
I took opportunities as they came, and stopped avoiding risk. I stopped waiting for interesting things to just 'happen' to me, and started trying to find ways to make interesting things happen. I had a previous realization during a psychadelic encounter, in which I realized that if I wanted my life to be interesting I had to be the one to make it happen. I started applying that knowledge.

I started seeking the pleasures that I thought life had hidden. Turned out they were right in front of me.
As it turns out, life can be really good if you're willing to go out there and put yourself in uncomfortable positions. The funny thing about life is that we're so afraid to fail, and be fukked up that we don't ever really do anything wonderful.And asthatturns out, you really begin having a great time once you realize that failure is absolutely beautiful.[/b]

I found another job, and even though I hated it, I busted my arse.
[b]And I really hated it, honest. It was debt collection.[/b]

I found a second job, and busted my arse at that one too.
[b]And that was hard too--it was waiting tables. Between the two jobs, I rarely had a day off.[/b]

I fought again, and won.
[b]And I [i]finally[/i] felt redeemed in who I was, and who I am. I finally felt like everything was coming together. I walked home from that fight, a brand new man. I remember sitting down on hook mountain that night, staring at the stars. I fought that fight alone, and none of my family had come to watch. My SO and her family were on vacation. I was truly alone for this fight... And I redeemed myself. I felt... Satisfied.[/b]

I bought a new car.
[b]I can't tell you how great that felt. You don't realize how great it is to have one until you have to run everywhere you want to go.[/b]

I started taking night classes to get my property and casualty licensure.
[b]Between the two jobs, training and this, I don't know how I did it. But I did it.[/b]

[i]I completed my night courses, aced the licensing exam and found a career[/i].
[b]And honestly, here I am now. I know now that I will always rise above the situations I am in. I know now that my greatest skill is to stand back up after failure. I realize now that my biggest tool is not giving up.[/b]




And maybe that's the important part; where it ended up. Where everything led me.

TypeNirvash u r genuinely one of the kindest bros I have ever met. No homo. I will take your experiences to heart.

Man you have no idea what the life of a real incel or FA is then. It goes far beyond being a fat kid that nobody would fuk at a party.

Would be delighted to see you incorporate at least a handful of those things into your day, man. They really did help me.

You don't have to say that brah. Just give at least one of those things a shot.

A big part of becoming an incel is the fact that you let your own mind destroy you.

Inceldom is choice.

If you cannot see past that, you will never escape it

I'd be happy to help wincel in what way I can if he'd listen. But he's dug himself too deep. Of course, he can always change, but as far as I can tell he isn't yet able.100.

There are incels who truly cannot escape their situation because of being born hideous and I feel genuine sympathy for them. You are NOT one of those people. You are as average as average gets. Your horrible attitude and refusal to do anything to better your situation is why you are where you are. I sincerely wish you would learn to help yourself but I have 0 faith you will

On spread.

You'll never really know whether or not Wincel is too deep unless you are given a chance to see things from his POV. In reality he can either be deeper than we think, or closer to being better than we could have guessed. I won't be able to know, until I find out either.

Now that being said, I sat down and played some video games with Wincel last night. When I talked to him he sounded like a normal guy. And maybe that might have been because he was amidst other people that I knew and he may not have felt fully comfortable to get into anything too personal.

But I can tell you right now that he comes off as a normal, intelligent guy, through the bits of conversation we did have. I just think he broke himself down in such a way that it's harder for him to see the light at the end of the tunnel which may be much closer than initially believed.

I don't have much energy after a tough week personally but here goes. I lived in victim hood. It didn't matter what the situation was, I would immediately turn to "who did this TO me" "why does this happen TO ME?" I would get a speeding ticket and I would be pissed like they were out to get me. What was the truth? the truth was I was creating my bullsh!t in every way. I got the speeding ticket because I was lazy, didn't get up in time and it forced me to have to rush. Sooooooo...I stopped being a lazy kunt, started going to bed early, leaving early and was prepared and boom you don't have to rush. It was about isolating life so you're as unfukable by things as possible. Things still happen but you can give me a list of "what happened" to a person, me, whoever and I changed my mindset to "how could I have prevented this?" "What did I do to cause this?" "How could I have acted to change the outcome?"

Girls didn't want to fuk me...I wanted them to fuk me. Soooooooooo...I lost weight, put on muscle, I had the funny guy personality and your energy changes when you're better. They like that energy...problem was solved.

This THIS is why I refuse to listen to any of these bitch-made dudes that complain.No one here can help you. You need a mirror and therapist.