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Forum » About to text an ex plz talk sense into me
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Thread: About to text an ex plz talk sense into me

post 1620949801 10-30-2020, 11:52 PM
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About to text an ex plz talk sense into me

Haven’t gotten this “rinsed” in ages got exams tomorro went out today so tldr


Op dated ex for nearly 2yrs, legit perfect chemistry, 7.5/10 misc standards

Haven’t talked in 1 year. Relationship was ruined as op had major personal issues (substance abuse) and completely ruined her trust

I still have her on social media it didn’t end in terrible terms per se as in us hating each other. Best friend says it’s not the best idea but understands if I do so idk wtf to do will rep srs input


Edit: ended up texting her, we are meeting up wednesday for dinner and catching up. Das it, mane.
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post 1620949861 10-30-2020, 11:54 PM
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Never hit up an ex. She has to come to you, at which point the most you can hope for is some casual banging. (Unless it was a mutual breakup due to circumstances out of both of your control.) All you'll do is give her an ego boost and make yourself feel worse when she inevitably rejects you.
post 1620950071 10-31-2020, 12:00 AM
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Originally Posted By CrimsonSteel⏩
Never hit up an ex. She has to come to you, at which point the most you can hope for is some casual banging. (Unless it was a mutual breakup due to circumstances out of both of your control.) All you'll do is give her an ego boost and make yourself feel worse when she inevitably rejects you.
We had a very complicated past but after we broke up she tried reaching out to me multiple times while I was deep in addiction. I genuinely want her back in my life even as a friend if getting back together doesn’t work. I don’t have much family and I loved and trusted her just as much as my sister and best friend who are really the only 2 ppl I have closest to me.

It will be a huge regret if I never reach out to her and on my death bed it will be a major regret. But I still just feel insanely ****ty about how it all went down And don’t know how she will react but I have to do it eventually ..

Edit: for reference I recently dated 1 girl after her and wouldn’t even think of hitting her up again.. it’d be a novel to explain all the backstory
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post 1620950111 10-31-2020, 12:02 AM
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"if you fukked her once, you can fuk her twice" - some rapper i forgot the name of but was 100% sage advice i never forgot.
post 1620950121 10-31-2020, 12:03 AM
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Last edit to reply Srry but ik she sleeps at 4am so I need to make this decision fastsrs
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post 1620950141 10-31-2020, 12:03 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Haven’t gotten this “rinsed” in ages got exams tomorro went out today so tldr


Op dated ex for nearly 2yrs, legit perfect chemistry, 7.5/10 misc standards

Haven’t talked in 1 year. Relationship was ruined as op had major personal issues (substance abuse) and completely ruined her trust

I still have her on social media it didn’t end in terrible terms per se as in us hating each other. Best friend says it’s not the best idea but understands if I do so idk wtf to do will rep srs input
You can do it, but you must ensure you are the best possible version of yourself first at all times, especially with something so tricky as substance abuse.

First of all, implementjournalingevery day in your schedule, 15-30 mins before you go to sleep, where you judge yourself and your actions to the fullest, as if you were Defending yourself in front of the court. Learn from yourself. Forgive yourself. better yourself. I am telling you all this because i just read your post how she was the one fo you, so i’m trying to help out.

Also implement Yogafor a more balanced way of life, to do daily. Start tomorrow if you can, restore your balance. You give me the impression she was far more balanced than you ever were, so get to her level, or even higher.

As related To her i give two main advices. You can get your Ex back, but two points are necessary. Making her feel good (through humour, that you don’t take anything too seriously, but respect her all the same) and showing your ‘’emotional strength’’ (emotionally, hence the yoga and journalling to strengthen this).

Do not do it through text. Be a man and call her, say you want to meet up. She can be hesitant, or directly refuse, but play around a little, be light, be polite yet masculine and direct. FLirt a bit, show your intentions, but you want to meet up in reallife.

Then when you set the date you know how to make her laugh, be relaxed, be in control, with full confidence and ofcourse show you are attracted to her. Touch her, sowly escalate, and when the time is right, pull the goddamn trigger.

Don’t talk about how your life was **** without her. Talk about how great your life is how good you are doing, how you have bettered yourself (for instance the substance abuse). Make her ‘’feel’’ it as so to say you are a changed man.

You are a champion, you are a demi-god, the misc is all behind you. It’s only for you the case to show her now.

We’re all going to make it brahs.
post 1620950181 10-31-2020, 12:04 AM
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God here. Don’t do it my child
post 1620950211 10-31-2020, 12:05 AM
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Reach out to her then brah. Fuk it. If she was cheating and playing with you then I'd say don't do it.

Do it man. If she rejects you, fuk it. Move on. What you got to lose brah.
post 1620950321 10-31-2020, 12:09 AM
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Shoot your shot. Just say hi, don't write her a novel and be pathetic about it.
post 1620950371 10-31-2020, 12:10 AM
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post 1620950381 10-31-2020, 12:11 AM
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Originally Posted By Cloudmen⏩
You can do it, but you must ensure you are the best possible version of yourself first at all times, especially with something so tricky as substance abuse. First of all, implement journaling every day in your schedule, 15-30 mins before you go to sleep, where you judge yourself and your actions to the fullest, as if you were Defending yourself in front of the court. Learn from yourself. Forgive yourself. better yourself. I am telling you all this because i just read your post how she was the one fo you, so i’m trying to help out. Also implement Yoga for a more balanced way of life, to do daily. Start tomorrow if you can, restore your balance. You give me the impression she was far more balanced than you ever were, so get to her level, or even higher.

As related To her i give two main advices. You can get your Ex back, but two points are necessary. Making her feel good (through humour, taht you don’t take anything too seriously, but respect her all the same) and showing your ‘’emotional strength’’ (emotionally, hence the yoga and journalling to strengthen this).
Do not do it through text. Be a man and call her, say you want to meet up. She can be hesitant, or directly refuse, but play around a little, be light, be polite yet masculine and direct. FLirt a bit, show your intentions, but you want to meet up in reallife. Then when you set the date you know how to make her laugh, be relaxed, be in control, with full confidence and ofcourse show you are attracted to her. Touch her, sowly escalate, and when the time is right, pull the goddamn trigger. Don’t talk about how your life was **** without her. Talk about how great your life is how good you are doing, how you have bettered yourself (for instance the substance abuse). Make her ‘’feel’’ it as so to say you are a changed man. You are a champion, you are a demi-god, the misc is all behind you. It’s only for you the case to show her now.

We’re all going to make it brahs.
Ty for the Srs response, srs

I wouldn’t call her right now as my speech would be not good but even after not talking for a year I honestly wouldn’t even feel wrong straight up telling her I’m drunk and these are my real feelings.

I’ve seen a therapist since then and have gotten on tRack. I’ve gottn consistent with training finally and am doing well in Uni. I def wouldn’t want to contact her if there was no self improvement evident but there has been. My biggest problem was while I felt low I’d ignore her and all my friends (I was after diagnosed as BPD throughout a year of therapy) but now I’ve learned to not do that and not take for granted the people I have close to me.
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post 1620950401 10-31-2020, 12:11 AM
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I will just say what we (the other half) do when we hear anyone talking about texting an ex even random drunken strangers in rest rooms, don't do it ! Get your **** together
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post 1620950451 10-31-2020, 12:12 AM
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Originally Posted By Nestaaa⏩
Reach out to her then brah. Fuk it. If she was cheating and playing with you then I'd say don't do it.

Do it man. If she rejects you, fuk it. Move on. What you got to lose brah.
**** ok I’m doing it rn srs. It was 100% my fault we would still be together 99% if I didn’t completely **** it up
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post 1620950491 10-31-2020, 12:13 AM
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do not make any decisions before sleeping on it OP.

you'll have much clearer vision in the morning. It'll look better as well, you hitting her up for coffee or something instead of 4am wasted booty call
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post 1620950501 10-31-2020, 12:13 AM
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So no pics huh ? Negged
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post 1620950541 10-31-2020, 12:14 AM
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Originally Posted By SPP1⏩
Shoot your shot. Just say hi, don't write her a novel and be pathetic about it.
Funny thing is I literally just send “hi” cus that’s what she sent me multiple times throughout when we were dating and I’d be at a low point and ignoring everyone

I never get anxious about anything but fuk now I am.
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post 1620950571 10-31-2020, 12:15 AM
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There are millions of woman out there and you feel the need to go repair some broken thing?

Come on man, she is NOT special at all. Get a new one.
post 1620950591 10-31-2020, 12:15 AM
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Originally Posted By dabbmw2002⏩
you broke up because you had substance issues, surely she will be glad to hear from you when you drunk text her at 2 in the morning.
I’m not going to go into it but alcohol is mild compared to what my problems were. I have self improved greatly in the past year so being drunk on a Friday night isn’t something I’d be even worried about
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post 1620950661 10-31-2020, 12:17 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Ty for the Srs response, srs

I wouldn’t call her right now as my speech would be not good but even after not talking for a year I honestly wouldn’t even feel wrong straight up telling her I’m drunk and these are my real feelings.

I’ve seen a therapist since then and have gotten on tRack. I’ve gottn consistent with training finally and am doing well in Uni. I def wouldn’t want to contact her if there was no self improvement evident but there has been. My biggest problem was while I felt low I’d ignore her and all my friends (I was after diagnosed as BPD throughout a year of therapy) but now I’ve learned to not do that and not take for granted the people I have close to me.
Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
**** ok I’m doing it rn srs. It was 100% my fault we would still be together 99% if I didn’t completely **** it up
Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
I’m not going to go into it but alcohol is mild compared to what my problems were. I have self improved greatly in the past year so being drunk on a Friday night isn’t something I’d be even worried about
Yes, but still don’t do it. It is all about perception and emotions RN. Tell her only you will call her tomorrow, do nothing more. It would be very dumb to talk to her now. There is no class in this.

Also cut off the booze completely brah. There is nothing to gain.
post 1620950681 10-31-2020, 12:18 AM
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Originally Posted By DM28⏩
I will just say what we (the other half) do when we hear anyone talking about texting an ex even random drunken strangers in rest rooms, don't do it ! Get your **** together
I have gotten my chit together in the past year to say the least I won’t even get into it unless anyone cares s enough to be curious in this state I will say what the improvement has been srs

But the funny thing is we met in a dorm party so being drunk and re uniting no homo is kinda fitting.
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post 1620950751 10-31-2020, 12:19 AM
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Originally Posted By Better
do not make any decisions before sleeping on it OP.

you'll have much clearer vision in the morning. It'll look better as well, you hitting her up for coffee or something instead of 4am wasted booty call
Yeah bro I’d 100% agree normally but this is something that has been on my mind ever since we broke up

It was 100% on me I completely ****ed it up I want her back in my life even as a friend tbh. I’ve just needed the courage to do it and as I write this message she just replied to my hi ****kkkenfoedkd
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post 1620950821 10-31-2020, 12:20 AM
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Originally Posted By Hartley110⏩
There are millions of woman out there and you feel the need to go repair some broken thing?

Come on man, she is NOT special at all. Get a new one.
It was only broken cus of my severe personal
Problems

I have dated after her

I just texted her tho and she just replied. So now I’m all in
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post 1620950831 10-31-2020, 12:20 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Funny thing is I literally just send “hi” cus that’s what she sent me multiple times throughout when we were dating and I’d be at a low point and ignoring everyone

I never get anxious about anything but fuk now I am.
Don't expect a quick response. If she answers, great, take it from there. No big deal if she doesn't.

It's not worth sweating over.
post 1620950881 10-31-2020, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
I have gotten my chit together in the past year to say the least I won’t even get into it unless anyone cares s enough to be curious in this state I will say what the improvement has been srs

But the funny thing is we met in a dorm party so being drunk and re uniting no homo is kinda fitting.
I meant your urge to text her, sort it and get rid of ityou will hear a chorus of this from women as well when we hear someone saying they want to text an ex lol do NOT do itwell unless you think she is the one but then why break up? I read some of your post if it was you and an addiction then maybe if nothing was wrong on her end.
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post 1620950971 10-31-2020, 12:23 AM
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Originally Posted By Cloudmen⏩
Yes, but still don’t do it. It is all about perception and emotions RN. Tell her only you will call her tomorrow, do nothing more. It would be very dumb to talk to her now. There is no class in this.

Also cut off the booze completely brah. There is nothing to gain.
I’ve already done and it and she just replied

I’vewrdy thought of a response on the fly something like

“I’ve got a ton on my mind and a lot i need to say to you. I don’t want to do it over text...” ...

I rarely drink anymore. I have no substance problems now tbh
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post 1620951051 10-31-2020, 12:25 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
I’ve already done and it and she just replied

I’vewrdy thought of a response on the fly something like

“I’ve got a ton on my mind and a lot i need to say to you. I don’t want to do it over text...” ...

I rarely drink anymore. I have no substance problems now tbh
Terrible response. Ease into it.
post 1620951101 10-31-2020, 12:26 AM
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Originally Posted By SPP1⏩
Don't expect a quick response. If she answers, great, take it from there. No big deal if she doesn't.

It's not worth sweating over.
She’s already replied she was always quick to reply even after a period of igoring her when down and it’s a huge part of why I loved her no homo. I’m procrastinating sending a reply now since it’s been so long..
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post 1620951181 10-31-2020, 12:27 AM
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Just ask her if she wants to get some coffee in the morning. you know hoes love their coffee
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post 1620951251 10-31-2020, 12:30 AM
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Originally Posted By DM28⏩
I meant your urge to text her, sort it and get rid of ityou will hear a chorus of this from women as well when we hear someone saying they want to text an ex lol do NOT do itwell unless you think she is the one but then why break up? I read some of your post if it was you and an addiction then maybe if nothing was wrong on her end.
Yeah 0 was wrong on her end. When sober and thinking of any negatives literally the only negative is her physique is underweight but tldr her personality made me love her. We broke up 100% due to my peRsonal faults and taking her for granted. Literally a week after meeting everyone in my dorm thought we were inseparable

I’m only saying this cus not natty rn but I’ve dated girls much better looking than her, girl I dated after her was an 8.5-8.86 to me and I just got over It quick. She’s special to me, dead srs
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post 1620951341 10-31-2020, 12:31 AM
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Originally Posted By Better
Just ask her if she wants to get some coffee in the morning. you know hoes love their coffee
She doesn’t like coffee she likes tea stacked with sushi lmao. Fuk no more replies after this to answer so looks like I’m replying to her&3::
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