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Forum » What do you think is 'fair'?
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Thread: What do you think is 'fair'?

post 1622879791 11-17-2020, 10:02 AM
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Fun conversation this morning:


Person A is dating person B and they live together. (They are not married)

Person A owns the home they live in. Person B agreed to pay 50% of whatever the mortgage is.

For numbers sake lets say they each pay 500 dollars.

Person A decides to refi their home.

30 Year mortgage gets lower payments (let's say it goes from 1K a month to 500 a month)

15 Year mortgage raises the payments (Let's say it goes from 1k a month to 1,300 a month)



If person A refi for 30 - should person B pay less meaning rent drops from 500 to 250? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

If person A refi for 15 - should person B pay more (650)? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

Let's hear it misc.
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post 1622879971 11-17-2020, 10:03 AM
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Make it easy and just split it 50% no matter what
post 1622880311 11-17-2020, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted By monster0ultra⏩
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post 1622880401 11-17-2020, 10:09 AM
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Split it in half no matter what. Not sure why anyone would refinance into another 30 year unless that 1000 per month was killing them. If I were looking at those numbers I'd sign the 15 year so hard it'd rip the paper
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post 1622880911 11-17-2020, 10:15 AM
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cliffs?
post 1622880921 11-17-2020, 10:15 AM
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If someone agrees to 50% then its 50% no matter what. If they're a couple who are splitting costs I would hope the potential increase of $ amount would be discussed before the refi happens. If not then that relationship is gonna fail in the long run.
post 1622881251 11-17-2020, 10:19 AM
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Stay at 500$ that's what you agreed to pay in rent, that's your rent. You are still getting the same value, living in same place. Owner of home has to handle their own financial ****, you're just a rentcel
post 1622881341 11-17-2020, 10:19 AM
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Originally Posted By NextPound⏩
Get married or don't pay someone else's mortgage. Imagine paying someone else's mortgage for years and then breaking up and having jack chit to show for it. This is why you don't shack up, or if you do, don't pay for anything unless you have your own bedroom. If you don't get married this will end really poorly - dead serious.
treat it as rent rather paying someone else's mortgage. It should stay at originally agreed 500 regardless imo.
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post 1622881481 11-17-2020, 10:21 AM
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I think if person A refinances for 30 years person B should pay 50% of that.

But if person A refinances for 15 years person B should still continue to pay 500 because they’re not actually trying to help a person a pay off their mortgage. They are simply paying their own expenses to live.


If person B is helping person A pay off the mortgage person A needs to add person B to the deed.
post 1622881541 11-17-2020, 10:22 AM
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Originally Posted By 2am⏩
treat it as rent rather paying someone else's mortgage
Especially since your rent is literally paying someone else's mortgage + extra. rentcels when will they learn
post 1622881561 11-17-2020, 10:22 AM
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Half is half, sloot
Ack...Ack
post 1622881631 11-17-2020, 10:22 AM
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50/50 but get everything and everu agreement in writtting
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post 1622881711 11-17-2020, 10:24 AM
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Half is half, sloot
lmao I was like lmao


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post 1622885411 11-17-2020, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted By Titansfan08⏩
Make it easy and just split it 50% no matter what
Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
Split it in half no matter what. Not sure why anyone would refinance into another 30 year unless that 1000 per month was killing them. If I were looking at those numbers I'd sign the 15 year so hard it'd rip the paper
Lots of 50 50%'rs here. I lol'd at rip the paper. Numbers are higher than that I was just throwing those out for simple math.

But 15 year still sounds very appealing regardless. I just didn't think it was fair to pass the buck (raised expense) on the person who doesn't own the house.
Originally Posted By Pheg⏩
In situation A, person B should pay less, this is a relationship.

In situation B, I think both are fair. Personally I don't think I would charge an SO more, but it wouldn't be unfair to do so. I lean toward not charging them more, because you are building greater equity in your house with these higher payments, so the increase in payment is not all expense.
In situation B that was my thought process too. Person B would just stay the same and person A would pick up the difference since it's person A's house and the decision to refi was theirs. (Person A being me in this situation)
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post 1622886261 11-17-2020, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By NextPound⏩
Get married or don't pay someone else's mortgage. Imagine paying someone else's mortgage for years and then breaking up and having jack chit to show for it. This is why you don't shack up, or if you do, don't pay for anything unless you have your own bedroom. If you don't get married this will end really poorly - dead serious.
Luckily I'm not person B in this situation. I'm sure this thought has crossed their mind. He has more than enough space for all of his toys and hobbies. 2 spare bedrooms full to be exact.
Originally Posted By Vexidi⏩
If someone agrees to 50% then its 50% no matter what. If they're a couple who are splitting costs I would hope the potential increase of $ amount would be discussed before the refi happens. If not then that relationship is gonna fail in the long run.
That discussion is currently on going. I tend to look at this in a business transaction sense and I know that probably pisses him off. A TON.
Originally Posted By supup⏩
Stay at 500$ that's what you agreed to pay in rent, that's your rent. You are still getting the same value, living in same place. Owner of home has to handle their own financial ****, you're just a rentcel
B agreed to pay half of mortgage.. not a set number as 'rent'.
Originally Posted By 2am⏩
treat it as rent rather paying someone else's mortgage. It should stay at originally agreed 500 regardless imo.
The 500 (arbitrary number) was just what happened to be half of the mortgage. There was never a 'set number' discussed for 'rent'
Originally Posted By CuttyUnderleaf⏩
I think if person A refinances for 30 years person B should pay 50% of that.

But if person A refinances for 15 years person B should still continue to pay 500 because they’re not actually trying to help a person a pay off their mortgage. They are simply paying their own expenses to live.


If person B is helping person A pay off the mortgageperson A needs to add person B to the deed.
:O Ya'll wild'n
Originally Posted By EnochsProphecy⏩
This. if the sewer system or other thing breaks, you're not responsible since you're basically a tenant.
Yep - Anything breaks comes out of home owner's pocket.
Originally Posted By latverian41⏩
50/50 but get everything and everu agreement in writtting
The writing part seems very cold when it comes to a 'relationship' situation. I think that's why nothing was ever 'written'.
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post 1622886521 11-17-2020, 11:14 AM
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Did not read. I think it’s fair to send bobs and vagene.
post 1622887141 11-17-2020, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Fun conversation this morning:


Person A is dating person B and they live together. (They are not married)

Person A owns the home they live in. Person B agreed to pay 50% of whatever the mortgage is.

For numbers sake lets say they each pay 500 dollars.

Person A decides to refi their home.

30 Year mortgage gets lower payments (let's say it goes from 1K a month to 500 a month)

15 Year mortgage raises the payments (Let's say it goes from 1k a month to 1,300 a month)



If person A refi for 30 - should person B pay less meaning rent drops from 500 to 250? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

If person A refi for 15 - should person B pay more (650)? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

Let's hear it misc.
Person B is getting a deal by paying only half the mortgage. Usually bills, HOA (if applicable) and home maintenance costs end up being more than the mortgage in some cases.

What makes all those scenarios "fair" is that person A and B both split all mortgage and home-related bill costs. So if they refinance at lower, it gets cheaper for both. If at higher rate, it gets more expensive for both.

This scenario changes if Person A or B does the lion's share of housekeeping. But we'll leave that out assuming they're both putting in same level of effort into their living space.
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post 1622887171 11-17-2020, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted By hendrixfreak70⏩
Did not read. I think it’s fair to send bobs and vagene.
Check ya DM's
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post 1622887211 11-17-2020, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
The 500 (arbitrary number) was just what happened to be half of the mortgage. There was never a 'set number' discussed for 'rent'
Well, maybe there should be. A flat fee based on market rates (less romance discount) would erase any of the headaches or potential for drama associated with refinancing. That way he's not stuck paying off your mortgage with nothing to show for it if you go for the more aggressive option (and thus avoids resentment in the future)
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post 1622887221 11-17-2020, 11:23 AM
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Originally Posted By supup⏩
Stay at 500$ that's what you agreed to pay in rent, that's your rent. You are still getting the same value, living in same place. Owner of home has to handle their own financial ****, you're just a rentcel
I agree with this mostly.

You can argue that the person should pay 50/50 no matter what, but at the end of the day person B does not own that home. Person A owns the house, and if they decide to refinance the house, that is their decision and it shouldn't change the original agreement and dollar amount settled upon.

This is based off the limited knowledge of how serious the relationship is. If they've been dating multiple years and have been living together for a long time, then I would say a 50/50 split makes more sense.

EDIT: ^^ just saw a dollar amount wasn't established. That's stupid and should have been discussed.
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post 1622887321 11-17-2020, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
The 500 (arbitrary number) was just what happened to be half of the mortgage. There was never a 'set number' discussed for 'rent'


:O Ya'll wild'n

Why would person B agree to pay half of person A’s mortgage and end up with exactly 0 equity?


Person A could sell their home, then buy one together with person B. Pay half the mortgage and end up with half the equity. That seems fair.
post 1622887481 11-17-2020, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Fun conversation this morning:


Person A is dating person B and they live together. (They are not married)

Person A owns the home they live in. Person B agreed to pay 50% of whatever the mortgage is.

For numbers sake lets say they each pay 500 dollars.

Person A decides to refi their home.

30 Year mortgage gets lower payments (let's say it goes from 1K a month to 500 a month)

15 Year mortgage raises the payments (Let's say it goes from 1k a month to 1,300 a month)



If person A refi for 30 - should person B pay less meaning rent drops from 500 to 250? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

If person A refi for 15 - should person B pay more (650)? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

Let's hear it misc.
It doesn’t work.
post 1622887531 11-17-2020, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Fun conversation this morning:


Person A is dating person B and they live together. (They are not married)

Person A owns the home they live in. Person B agreed to pay 50% of whatever the mortgage is.

For numbers sake lets say they each pay 500 dollars.

Person A decides to refi their home.

30 Year mortgage gets lower payments (let's say it goes from 1K a month to 500 a month)

15 Year mortgage raises the payments (Let's say it goes from 1k a month to 1,300 a month)



If person A refi for 30 - should person B pay less meaning rent drops from 500 to 250? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

If person A refi for 15 - should person B pay more (650)? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

Let's hear it misc.
Person B continues to pay $500 as agreed before moving in, they don’t legally own anything and are technically in an agreed “lodger” capacity

What person A does with their mortgage is their business

My husband was my live in lodger as my boyfriend, he paid rent. When we married he got half. Before we married he has no legal right nor responsibility
post 1622888041 11-17-2020, 11:30 AM
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Does person B actually own any of the house or just renting?

If it’s not a dual ownership than his rent shouldn’t change. Stick to what he’s paying now.
post 1622888321 11-17-2020, 11:33 AM
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Typical that an Asian chick gives us an algebra question.
post 1622888791 11-17-2020, 11:37 AM
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Person B should never ever pay rent.

Person B will not get one cent of equity out of a sale now or in the future.

Person A is the sole person who profits off the investment in the home.

Person B should split utilities and invest the 500 into an investment vehicle.
U
post 1622888861 11-17-2020, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted By leoslayer1⏩
Person B should never ever pay rent.

Person B will not get one cent of equity out of a sale now or in the future.

Person A is the sole person who profits off the investment in the home.

Person B should split utilities and invest the 500 into an investment vehicle.
Bull crap

Person B would have to pay rent or mortgage somewhere, they don't get to live for free
post 1622889001 11-17-2020, 11:40 AM
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Are they both splitting the equity when its time to sell? If so 50/50 whole way. Is person b under the underestanding thats what they pay no matter what? If so than refinancing doen't matter and shouldn't even be their concern keep paying the 500 whether it goes up or down.
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post 1622889751 11-17-2020, 11:50 AM
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#89
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Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Person B is getting a deal by paying only half the mortgage. Usually bills, HOA (if applicable) and home maintenance costs end up being more than the mortgage in some cases.

What makes all those scenarios "fair" is that person A and B both split all mortgage and home-related bill costs. So if they refinance at lower, it gets cheaper for both. If at higher rate, it gets more expensive for both.

This scenario changes if Person A or B does the lion's share of housekeeping. But we'll leave that out assuming they're both putting in same level of effort into their living space.
Yep Person B does get hell of a deal bc Person A pays for any maintenance cost & HOA blah blah blah.

But it's not they - refinancing. Person B doesn't own any equity.
Originally Posted By 2am⏩
Well, maybe there should be. A flat fee based on market rates (less romance discount) would erase any of the headaches or potential for drama associated with refinancing. That way he's not stuck paying off your mortgage with nothing to show for it if you go for the more aggressive option (and thus avoids resentment in the future)
Flat fee based on market rates would be a lot higher than what person B is paying now. The way person B sees it is. "Hey you get a better deal, you're winning. I should be winning too bc we're dating"
Originally Posted By JUGGERNAUT1333⏩
I agree with this mostly.

You can argue that the person should pay 50/50 no matter what, but at the end of the day person B does not own that home. Person A owns the house, and if they decide to refinance the house, that is their decision and it shouldn't change the original agreement and dollar amount settled upon.

This is based off the limited knowledge of how serious the relationship is. If they've been dating multiple years and have been living together for a long time, then I would say a 50/50 split makes more sense.

EDIT: ^^ just saw a dollar amount wasn't established. That's stupid and should have been discussed.
And yep. Dollar amount wasn't established, nothing was in writing so now this is coming up and it's been an interesting conversation.
Originally Posted By CuttyUnderleaf⏩
Why would person B agree to pay half of person A’s mortgage and end up with exactly 0 equity?


One person A could sell their home, then buy one together with person B. Pay half the mortgage and end up with half the equity. That seems fair.
Bc person B would have to live and rent somewhere anyway. So they agreed to pay half of mortgage which is indefinitely cheaper than market rate to live somewhere else.
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Person B continues to pay $500 as agreed before moving in, they don’t legally own anything and are technically in an agreed “lodger” capacity

What person A does with their mortgage is their business

My husband was my live in lodger as my boyfriend, he paid rent. When we married he got half. Before we married he has no legal right nor responsibility
I love that you had previous experience in this same situation. Thanks for sharing. So just to clarify $500 wasn't an agreed amount. $500 just happens to be what the 'half of mortgage cost' came out to be.
Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
If it's just rent then person A has absolutely no right to ask for more
So you agree then that person B should not ask for less?
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post 1622890241 11-17-2020, 11:54 AM
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I would say, if you weren’t dating and it was just a roommate, I may consider keeping it the same even with a higher payment or lowering it a hair with the lower payment. I’d think most people want some warning that their rate is going to go up and make necessary arrangements if they can’t afford it.

BUT, since you’re dating...I think 50/50 is fair.
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