Reality has kicked in and the time has come.
05-07-2023, 09:31 PM
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#31
My mother is 75 and my father is 80. Both are retired and can't do much anymore. My father has been a smoker since his teenage years and stopped 5 years ago when he suffered a heart attack.
My mother has a torn ligament in one of her knees and she's been overweight all my life. This weekend I installed shower grab bars, shower chairs, and new shower heads with a secondary shower handle in both bathrooms so they can shower sitting down. My mother uses a walker while my father needs oxygen around the clock to breathe because 45% of his lungs are dead and it will get worse over time until he can't breathe and dies.
I have mixed feelings because my childhood wasn't the best and to be brutally honest, my father was and still is an ahole even when he's rotting away. He is former military and refuses to go to the VA to get assistance from the government because he says, "I don't need it, other people need it more than I do." Like I said, he's an ignorant ahole.
Now, I am cleaning their bathrooms and the rest of their apartment every 2 weeks. My wife helps me with this to get it over with quickly. My sister takes my mother to get groceries and my nephew helps from time to time with heavy things.
TL;DR
parents are old af and OP is helping them but OP has mixed feelings because childhood sucked.
My mother has a torn ligament in one of her knees and she's been overweight all my life. This weekend I installed shower grab bars, shower chairs, and new shower heads with a secondary shower handle in both bathrooms so they can shower sitting down. My mother uses a walker while my father needs oxygen around the clock to breathe because 45% of his lungs are dead and it will get worse over time until he can't breathe and dies.
I have mixed feelings because my childhood wasn't the best and to be brutally honest, my father was and still is an ahole even when he's rotting away. He is former military and refuses to go to the VA to get assistance from the government because he says, "I don't need it, other people need it more than I do." Like I said, he's an ignorant ahole.
Now, I am cleaning their bathrooms and the rest of their apartment every 2 weeks. My wife helps me with this to get it over with quickly. My sister takes my mother to get groceries and my nephew helps from time to time with heavy things.
TL;DR
parents are old af and OP is helping them but OP has mixed feelings because childhood sucked.
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05-07-2023, 09:34 PM
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#32
05-07-2023, 09:36 PM
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#33
- AlwaysFocus
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Take care of them and tell your children to respect elders. Im going through a similar process OP with a g ma
My father claims the bad childhood shtick but that isnt reality.
Reality is he doesnt want to ever be disturbed by a family member in regards to end of life care.
My father claims the bad childhood shtick but that isnt reality.
Reality is he doesnt want to ever be disturbed by a family member in regards to end of life care.
05-07-2023, 09:42 PM
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#34
Originally Posted By AlwaysFocus⏩
The thing I'm taking away from all this experience is to show my kids life can take a quick downward turn so be nice to your family. You never know. I decided to take the high road in all this because I don't want karma to bite me in the ass.Take care of them and tell your children to respect elders. Im going through a similar process OP with a g ma
My father claims the bad childhood shtick but that isnt reality.
Reality is he doesnt want to ever be disturbed by a family member in regards to end of life care.
My father claims the bad childhood shtick but that isnt reality.
Reality is he doesnt want to ever be disturbed by a family member in regards to end of life care.
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05-07-2023, 09:43 PM
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#35
- Voidgaze
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I can't say much OP, but I do understand your feelings srs.
You're a good son for helping them at all. Your parents are a product of how their parents treated them when they were young...and so on and so forth.
You're a good person for giving them grace and helping.
You're a good son for helping them at all. Your parents are a product of how their parents treated them when they were young...and so on and so forth.
You're a good person for giving them grace and helping.
05-07-2023, 09:58 PM
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#36
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fuarrrk that sounds brutal
pics of mom in her prime?
pics of mom in her prime?
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05-07-2023, 10:02 PM
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#37
Originally Posted By niospecv⏩
UFC Fighter Matt Hughes was a major dick.The thing I'm taking away from all this experience is to show my kids life can take a quick downward turn so be nice to your family. You never know. I decided to take the high road in all this because I don't want karma to bite me in the ass.
But then he got hit by a train and ended up in the hospital.
He said he didn't what love was until that happened to him because his Wife was there during his hospitalization.
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05-07-2023, 10:02 PM
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#38
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Gotta do it because it's the right thing to do.
Take care of the family. Parents will always fuk up and you will fuk up too as a parent.
Like you said, be kind to your own family. You'll always have mixed feelings. such is life son
Take care of the family. Parents will always fuk up and you will fuk up too as a parent.
Like you said, be kind to your own family. You'll always have mixed feelings. such is life son
05-07-2023, 10:04 PM
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#39
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Originally Posted By niospecv⏩
good for you repped, and good luckThe thing I'm taking away from all this experience is to show my kids life can take a quick downward turn so be nice to your family. You never know. I decided to take the high road in all this because I don't want karma to bite me in the ass.
05-07-2023, 10:07 PM
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#40
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I don't know how you feel exactly but I've been there, and I'm glad I did what I did. Yeah, it's hard, and you want to quit but one day you'll be glad. Maybe they weren't the best parents but you can be the best son. It says a lot about you for what you are doing. It's not easy. They won't be around too much longer if they are like that. The last thing you want is guilt but you will still have some. I'm glad I did what I did for my grandmother although I feel I could have done more.
05-07-2023, 10:09 PM
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#41
Your parents probably did the best they could. Thing about having kids is there is no manual when a kid is born. You just have to figure things out as they happen.
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05-07-2023, 10:10 PM
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#42
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Them feels
My parents are 71, almost there
I don't know what to do when that time comes, I'm still a ****ing man child with the worst prospects
My parents are 71, almost there
I don't know what to do when that time comes, I'm still a ****ing man child with the worst prospects
05-07-2023, 10:11 PM
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#43
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Feels bad, man. I used to visit assisted living places (pre-covid) with dogs and some of them are pretty dank. Something to consider.
05-07-2023, 10:15 PM
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#44
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
absolutely, when canada finally lifted covid retard restrictions, my doggos were requested to come see the "home" they brought much light into the residentsFeels bad, man. I used to visit assisted living places (pre-covid) with dogs and some of them are pretty dank. Something to consider.
05-07-2023, 10:16 PM
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#45
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they have special showers for the elderly brah
look into it
look into it
05-07-2023, 10:24 PM
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#46
- akferd
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Serious feels here bro. Good for you for stepping up as a man and taking care of your parents even if your childhood wasnt what it should have been. Your actions are what determine the direction your bloodline goes in now. Real men take care of their family.
05-07-2023, 10:35 PM
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#47
Originally Posted By imiscubb⏩
didn't mention this but both showers have anti slip mats. They do not shower daily. They shower every other day since they aren't active at all.shower sitting down seems like a bad idea
unless there's someone there to help
them stand back up
make sure theres enough of those anti slip mats
covering the floors
even outside the shower would be a good idea
but showering should take 5-8 minutes MAX
for the elderly
its expected that they will smell
anyway
unless there's someone there to help
them stand back up
make sure theres enough of those anti slip mats
covering the floors
even outside the shower would be a good idea
but showering should take 5-8 minutes MAX
for the elderly
its expected that they will smell
anyway
Originally Posted By Banderistan⏩
I have but it is pricey. The VA would do it for free if my father wasn't a knucklehead and would take assistance from the government as a former military member.they have special showers for the elderly brah
look into it
look into it
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05-07-2023, 10:36 PM
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#48
Originally Posted By niospecv⏩
Remember that there was a time, that you don't remember, when they were there 24/7 for you, as a toddler, if they in fact are even half-assed decent people, since you couldn't wipe your own ass.The thing I'm taking away from all this experience is to show my kids life can take a quick downward turn so be nice to your family. You never know. I decided to take the high road in all this because I don't want karma to bite me in the ass.
They may have fukked off after that, but at least they kept you alive.
05-07-2023, 10:49 PM
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#49
It's your duty as their son, I'd try to convince your dad to get the VA benefits that he's entitled to. He may be an a hole but he instilled traditional conservative values of loyalty, dedication, personal responsibility, persistence etc. in you and that's worth something. You installing all of those fixtures is indicative of that.
"Every 6 months my mind returns to this heatmap indicating that conservatives devote the majority of their empathy and care to family and friends and liberals devote most of their concern to plants, trees, and inert entities such as rocks. "
"Every 6 months my mind returns to this heatmap indicating that conservatives devote the majority of their empathy and care to family and friends and liberals devote most of their concern to plants, trees, and inert entities such as rocks. "
05-07-2023, 10:49 PM
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#50
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Lifes a bitch
05-07-2023, 10:50 PM
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#51
Originally Posted By desslok⏩
Lots of people write books on how to raise kids.Your parents probably did the best they could. Thing about having kids is there is no manual when a kid is born. You just have to figure things out as they happen.
So I don't agree with this.
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05-07-2023, 10:53 PM
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#52
Originally Posted By akferd⏩
Serious feels here bro. Good for you for stepping up as a man and taking care of your parents even if your childhood wasnt what it should have been. Your actions are what determine the direction your bloodline goes in now. Real men take care of their family.
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05-07-2023, 10:54 PM
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#53
Originally Posted By JIA⏩
^^ that's dumb af.conservatives devote the majority of their empathy and care to family and friends and liberals devote most of their concern to plants, trees, and inert entities such as rocks.
I'm a hardcore conservative and I like rocks way more than most people and dogs and trees more than all people.
05-07-2023, 10:58 PM
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#54
- jackamo2887
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When you were born your parents held you in their arms and loved you and brought you into this world. Just love them and be there for them as they exit this world.
All of our lives are simply a blink of an eye. Be kind to people, and give a little of yourself..it goes a long way.
All of our lives are simply a blink of an eye. Be kind to people, and give a little of yourself..it goes a long way.
Survival. When the jungle tears itself down and builds itself into something new. Guys like you and me, we end up dead. Doesn’t really mean anything. Or, if we happen to live through it, well that doesn’t mean anything either.
05-07-2023, 11:05 PM
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#55
Originally Posted By 401Delta⏩
Just saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3.^^ that's dumb af.
I'm a hardcore conservative and I like rocks way more than most people and dogs and trees more than all people.
I'm a hardcore conservative and I like rocks way more than most people and dogs and trees more than all people.
Got people in the theater crying over animals.
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05-07-2023, 11:07 PM
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#56
05-07-2023, 11:11 PM
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#57
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in the same boat sometimes i think of the chitty things they do want to slap the chit out of them but also think of the times they loved me
Ambatukam!!!!!
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05-08-2023, 07:53 AM
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#58
05-08-2023, 08:06 AM
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#59
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Regardless of what happened in the past, you have to be able to live with yourself. I think you are doing the right thing and as men we should do the right thing whether any one else ever knows or not. That’s the example to set for your family.
Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.
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05-08-2023, 08:09 AM
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#60
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Ironically among siblings many times the child who had it the worst is the one to come back and tend to his parents, while the siblings who were treated the best are nowhere to be found.
The billionaire and the beggar both have 24 hours in a day.
That's why grandma's apple pie rocks and yours sucks.Originally Posted By Dave22reborn^^^Racist police officer who also cries about how racism doesn't exist, also cries reverse racism and typifies the stupidity of the racist right, referring to black people as "they" and regurgitating racist stereotypes.At least it will thunderstorm tonight, and we know how they feel about water. :)
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