Starting on day 3.

My goal is to not fap/PMO for 90 days (orgasming from intercourse is allowed...)

I've been fapping to pron since before the internet. Use to hide penthouse magazines under my mattress when I was a teenager, real OG's remember those days. I'm now 45, and have been fapping to porn for 3+ decades.

I've been fortunate throughout my life to have many girlfriends. Lost my virginity at age 15 or 16, I'm now divorced with kids, and minus some dry spells over the years, getting women and having sex was never much of an issue.

However, the quality of these relationships I think could be better. Probably through a combination of my upbringing (mom was a housewife), porn and social media, women have mainly been cum dumpsters, caretakers, clothes folders and cooks to me. Don't get me wrong, I've been in love and have had some great relationships, but I think to some degree, porn/social media has negatively influenced the outcomes. Yes I blame myself.

But the main reason I'm doing this is to reset my dopamine receptors. At the same time I'm only using hinge for dating, and pursuing women I'd wife up (staying away from tinder and the hookup culture as much as possible).

I don't think I'm a porn 'addict.' I mainly use it now for 20 minutes or so to bust a nut, relax and fall asleep at night. I've had plenty of days over the past 30 years where I'd fap for hours and bust several nuts, but this isn't the norm for me, nor ever was.

The second main reason is to challenge myself. I think the longest I've ever gone without fapping is a couple weeks. So this is my journey. Wish me luck.

Cliffs:
- 45yo male, divorced with kids
- Lost v card at 15/16, have been relatively successful (+/-) with women/sexual relations most of my life
- Fapping regularly from around 13yo, probably not addicted. Longest Nofap streak was 2 weeks or so when me and ex-wife were making babies.
- Challenging myself and resetting my dopamine receptors. Hope to gain: healthier relationships with women, more confidence/reduce anxiety, more focus/mental clarity and reduced brain fog. At the very least, more self control.

Imagine being completely addicted to porn as a 45 year old man to the point where you feel the need to document some sort of recovery process on the misc lol

Best to you on the journey. Been there man!

Yeah I'm not sure if it's an addiction by the clinical definition. It might be.

And I don't have a reddit account (not gonna make one) plus I actually lift and there are several threads about self improvement on here, so seems like a good place to track progress.

And who nose, maybe I can help some brahs along the way. Even if they say "I don't wanna be like him when I get older" so they make necessary changes now.

No Fap is still a thing? Just lol

It was nothing but an orthodox Christian larp from the 00s

Last night (day 2) was the first trigger. It was about 12am, I felt wide awake and should have been asleep. So, what I'd routinely do in this situation is fap myself to sleep.

Instead I noticed the trigger and tried breathing deeply , and slowly, focusing on the out breath, and dozed off without an issue.Makes sense since internet porn started gaining steam around that same time. Luckily for me I wasn't exposed to internet porn until later in life, kids nowadays are seeing that chit very early on, and its negative impact is now getting taken seriously by the scientific community (without any moral judgement).

ayyyeee





today I'm on day 96 and I promise you, you won't regret it

the 1st 30 days will be a challenge though, you better fight it out! It gets better overtime. And no matter how you assess actual sexual performance, you'll notice the difference once you've gone past day 60. Your glizzy will be a damn baseball bat

Congrats man 96 days is impressive!
I agree first 30 days are the most challenging

Thanks brother!Wow! That's awesome. Gjdm!

Besides the increased wood, any other noticable benefits you've experienced?

Yesterday/last night wasn't too bad. I realized when I get/will get triggers.

1. At night and during the weekend- basically when I have more free time. My typical fap routine as mentioned was after I would get in bed at night. I've used it as a relaxation technique, to help me fall asleep. Last night I seemed tired enough that I didn't get the urge, and fell asleep without incident.

2. Being rejected by women- sometimes I get the feeling of frustration if I was chatting with a girl and she left me on read or ghosted me. Kind of like I put in energy, had positive thoughts about her, then boom they fall off without even saying anything. That feeling sometimes makes me feel bitter, lonely, discouraged. In the past I would dwell on it, and to release the frustration so I can "move on to the next" it would help by fapping one out.

Those seem to be the biggest triggers right now. Ironically, and maybe it's because of my age/fact I'm so desensitized, social media hasn't really been a problem (yet I suppose?).

Yesterday this chick on Instagram sent me a video of her fingering herself. I didn't know it was a video of her naked/touching her vagina before I opened it. After I opened it, I simply replied "I want to be inside you" and closed the app.

But maybe I'm just feeling low T at the moment? Before I started Nofap (like last week haha) I would have very strong sensations of arousal and sexual thoughts throughout the day. Yesterday I was staying busy pretty much all day and I did not experience any overwhelmingly heightened sense of arousal to steer me off track.

Also, since 90 days seems a little far away, I'm going to break it down into smaller goals. 15 days, 30 days, 60 days then 90 days. Reason behind this is I've never counted days I didn't fap, and when I was married, two weeks was probably the longest run without tugging one out, so I want the first goal to be setting a new ATH. Then breaking down the larger goal into stages seems more reachable imo.

This isn't the place for this man.

Why? There are plenty of threads about self improvement and monthly Nofap threads on the main misc. If the mods don't like it they can move it to a better place/delete it, but based on the responses so far it doesn't seem too far out of place.

Yesterday (day 4) was the toughest so far. What's kind of phucked up about Nofap is that I think its making me more irritated and I have less patience. Similarly, I realized that I was using fapping as an anti-anxiety treatment.

Like id normally fap at night, just before bedtime and the fantasy of pron + orgasmic feeling would hit me like a drug, making me forget my troubles and wander off into a relaxed state of la-la-land. Almost like I needed that mental calm, not just for sleep, but to relax my mind and body from whatever I am stressed about.

So not getting that anti-stress dose, I think, is making me more anxious.

On the flip side, I think I'm waking up less exhausted and with more alertness. Could be because of the boiled up stress.

Another thing I'm noticing (which is kind of funnyis I'll catch my hand moving towards my penis lol. Like my hand and my penis miss each other lol. And they want the comfort of being closer together. This is usually when I'm on the couch watching TV or lying in bed scrolling, but when I catch that impulse I move my hand away and say "nice try guys".

But the sex thoughts and horniness levels are increasing to where it's becoming difficult to stay concentrated and not be agitated. I think around day 5-7 of previous unintentional nofap streaks (like if I was on vacation or just really busy so didn't fap) is around the time, in the past, when my body would respond by saying "just fap bro, you'll feel better"...

So that's the voice I'm currently fighting.

Hang in there man you've got this!! There are going to be challenges, but you can overcome them

It's about practicing that frustration and putting it to good use in the gym.

Thanks man. It's definitely going to be a test of will power.

I can hear a conversation starting in my head where on one side a voice is saying "bro you'll release stress if you fap one out, it will calm your nerves and allow you to focusmoreafter fapping..."

Vs...

The other voice saying "how weak of a man are you that you can't control your own body and get pleasure by watching two strangers have sex?"

Absolutely. I gym 6-7 days /week. I injured my left forearm somehow a few weeks ago. So for the past week I've only been doing cardio/abs. I started icing it yesterday, I'll continue icing it and massaging it for another couple days before I start lifting again. Also bought wrist straps so hoping they will help.

The pain is mostly when I pull, doing bicep curls and such. Benching and overhead presses don't seem to agitate it as much.

Ok so don't pull then.

If you don't want to jack off then just stop jacking off. Making a thread like this is not only incredibly homosexual (why should we other men care about your masturbation habits?), it's pathetic and self-defeating. You're making a big deal out of nothing important, looking for attention and external validation. Not to mention actively sabotaging your "efforts" since sharing goals with people makes you less likely to accomplish them.

You are like a woman posting everything online for likes because you are unable to feel good about anything without somebody else telling you to feel good about it. You have bigger problems than masturbation.

Yeah hopefully this weekend I'll be able to get back on my routine. Seems like after icing the area is so numb that I don't feel pain, so will probably ice before lifting . Not sure if that's a thing.

But the week away from weights and focus on cardio has been good. Seems to have trimmed away some bf so I'm looking pretty lean ATM, which is making my muscles more defined. Looking good. Feeling good (minus the forearm pain lol). So worst case scenario is I give it another week or two before hitting weights again but Im getting back to peak physical condition (after slacking off the past few years/had serious gf that didn't lift, etc..) so not being able to lift now is a bummer.

Thanks for your input bud. But it appears, based on reps and private messages I've received, as well as other posters contributing itt, that there actually are guys routing me on and who are curious about the Nofap thing (benefits, challenges etc ...)

I see you aren't one of those guys, no problem. But simply put, if this thread isn't for you, why do you care? You don't have to click let alone read and post two paragraphs about it lol.

This is a positive thread. Unless the mods take issue with it, (I don't think I'm breaking any rules...) I'll continue my journey and share it with others who may benefit from reading.

Good job brother. Keep it up. I think it's a good thing that you're doing it. It's always best to stay away from the whole porn and instant gratification stuff.
Been realizing I need to do some self improvement as well so this is definitely inspiring.

I haven't done a 90 day no jerk off since 2013. I have been jerking for 25 years and jerking to online porn for around 20 years. I used to LOOK at porn online from 1998 onwards but didn't jerk to it, just looked at it.

Thanks brother. I've been listening to Jordan Peterson recently and one of the things he says is to just find one thing in your life you know you'd be better off 'not doing' and start there. Or the converse which is to just look in your immediate environment and find one thing you can "fix", then fix it.Congrats on reaching the top of the mountain I'm currently climbing.

I'm getting the urge to download tinder/bumble to find quick, cheap sex. In a way that's kind of like a copout since hookups are basically masterbating in a girls vagina but one of my struggles with sex has been not being able to ejaculate from intercourse, so I'd have to jerk off to completion.

And, I don't think I've rebooted my senses enough yet so even if I do get laid, more than likely I'll have to wack off to orgasm at this point. Maybe in a couple days or weeks I'll be so horny that I'll bust as soon as I enter. Honestly I'd prefer that to not being able to cum at all from intercourse and I think porn/masterbation has definitely made that negative impact on my sex life .

5 days in the books. Gotta be honest that it feels like a lot longer. Only 5 days lol. I think holding myself accountable has been key. Like, making a conscientious decision, a real serious decision, that the PMO lifestyle is no longer for me, has really helped overcome triggers, and is making this goal realistic.

Realizing that loneliness is also a big trigger for me. And it's during the nights/weekends, when I'd normally have a gf to be with or fap to release the frustration of not having female intimacy.

I dl'd bumble yesterday and reactivated my account. Got 30 matches, and lined up a drink date tonight with a Spanish lady who wants to teach me how to salsa. I've probably developed adult autism over the past few years because getting dates suddenly seems a lot harder than it's been for me in the past, despite having a lot of matches/interest. So I'm not counting on it.

There are also two young women from hinge who want to come to my place (presumably for sex). One is below my physical attraction standards and I'm not really at a point yet that I'll "F" anything. The other is a very cute college aged girl who I might have missed my shot with a couple nights ago. I asked when she's free and she responded a half hour later "how about now hehe" and I already turned off my phone to go to sleep. The next day I responded "sorry, fell asleep. How bout today?" And she left me on read.

So far the main benefit I feel, anecdotally, is waking up more refreshed and with more energy. Like I'm getting better sleep.

Cliffs:

- not as hard (no pun) as I imagined so far, likely because I've made a serious decision about quitting and am holding myself accountable
- have several female prospects for dates/sex, but am not counting on them because I've been in a major slump the past few months with getting dates, despite getting many matches. And not horney enough yet to settle for cheap sex with someone below my physical standard.
- only benefit so far I can see, is I'm waking up feeling more refreshed/alive. Not like I'm jumping out of bed and roaring like a lion, but there is a noticable improvement in my morning uncaffenieted energy level.
- feeling of loneliness is a trigger

The urges were strong over the weekend. But I fought them. There's like this 5 second conversation I have with myself that starts something like: "Bro you're horny. Just fap one out." Then I remember I'm the one in control and say, "nah...you got this" and move my attention towards something else.

I had maybe 2-3 brief incidents like that over the weekend.

The biggest trigger right now is loneliness. It's like the false sense of female intimacy/getting my penor wet via PMO that I feel is lacking.

I met a woman Saturday night for a drink at a bar. She was really cool, nice, has her $hit together (small business owner) but I just wasn't physically attracted to her, despite being horny. But It was nice to get out of the house and meet someone, I might keep in touch with her as a platonic friend because I was surprisingly impressed by her and she has good positive energy.

Maybe because I wasn't attracted to her, but I actually felt fairly confident when I went out. Not sure if thats from the Nofap though I think there is a little confidence boost that comes from staying committed and progressing towards my 90 day goal. Also sleep still seems to be improving, I'm waking up earlier and with more energy.

cliffs

- 1 week accomplished, gets harder progressively. Nights/weekends can be rough.
- Noticed a small confidence boost, though it might be from staying on my goal and not semen retention.
- Sleep seems to be improving

Congrats on one week in man!! Glad to hear of the confidence boost you are getting from it. Keep at it my man!

thanks brah

for the most part, being able to re-route my urges and desires to useful ventures if that makes any sense. Overtime it becomes automated, and you don't even need to allocate any intentional mental process to make that happen.


it's like your raw mental energy resources (and the desire to something dopamine inducing) become easier to re-allocate towards an area of delayed gratification.


I think it's my mind creating a parallel and operating accordingly, cause nofap is the ultimate process of delayed gratification. And in partaking in the journey, there are areas of instant 'feel good' mental reactions that are felt in the current moment all the wile you're working on a long term goal that will in itself will be satisfactory

I guess this experience taught me the definition of "how you do anything is how you do everything"


I will never ever go back to my old fapping ways, ded fkn srs



props on being accountable and keeping up the fight, we're rooting for you man

This post is inspiring. On spread. These are the exact benefits I'm hoping to achieve.

Ngl this is a battle. I went on a date with a pretty lady last night, and we made out. First girl I've kissed in 2 months. Not sure if we'll meet again but I hope so. She rejected my offer for her to come to my house after drinks (she lives an hour away from me and we met halfway) Came back home buzzed from two whisky's and with a surge of energy. Didn't fall asleep until 3am.

Was wired. And had the conversation again with myself, "bro reward yourself for kissing a pretty woman by fapping...it will also put you to sleep"... Fought it. And eventually fell asleep without fapping.

Nothing major to report on except I think my penis is getting bigger (srs)... Scientifically it's probably since I'm not in a constant refractory state from fapping every day. (Or I just have a semi all day since I'm hornier lol)

But being very serious I look in the mirror naked and my penis looks longer naturally, un-erect. It just hangs lower than I'm used to seeing it.

Also this thread is helping me stay accountable.