Cliffs:

- in a relationship with gf for 3 years
- argument with gf
- we didn't talk for 1 week
- gf texts after 1 week telling me its over
- talk a little, she complains I'm not loving enough, try to convince her to work it out and she says ok
- next day gf goes NC on me for a couple more days after saying yes to working it out
- After her first breakup text I'm blowing up her phone everyday, texting her. No response
- Texts me again today and tells me its over. Says she never thought someone like her who was so deeply in love would have to do this but she's doing it and that she will always love me
- Saw the message, replied 'ok' (which she read immediately) and then shut the app down before she could send a reply or anything (Idk I haven't checked yet)
- All her texts are like she's writing a letter for work like really professional instead of the casual way we used to talk
- See her liking videos like with the "do what's good for you" and ****ty messages on tiktok and IG lately
- We're still friends/followers on all social media and she hasn't made any 'changes' to publicly hint a breakup

I'm fukking confused why she agreed to work it out when we first talked and then ghosted me and broke up a few days later? Wtf is going on brahs? She's been talking so strangely lately too like texting really professionally throughout this whole thing

Background about gf:

- both of us were our first loves
- literally treated me fukking amazing. Bought me food, gifts etc. spent a lot of money on me and I did the same on her too

I literally haven't been able to sleep this past week or eat properly. I feel like throwing up everytime I take more than a few bites of my food. Sometimes my head fukking hurts and sometimes my stomach. My heart literally feels like its being pressed by a heavy stone right now

Wtf do I do? Anyone been in this scenario? She was my first love and I don't know if I'll ever have someone as good as her. Fukk I'm going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now sometimes I feel fine and other times I can't stop tearing up and feel like jumping off a building.

She wanted the control and the power move. Peace out at her. She's not invested. That's why the cold texts you describe. I've had those professional sounding text b4. It's red flag brah

Easier said than done brah. We've been together for so long and she just seemed the perfect person for me. We would've gotten married in a couple years eventually. Also you got those professional texts in a LTR too or was it just a fling? Fukk it just all seems so surreal to me. And maybe you're right but she really was different. I feel like I could have a heart attack at any moment

Are you really 26...?

No I'm 21. Chit won't change under my avi but it shows 21 in my bodyspace

You need to be seen with other women. If she's following you on social media, that should be pretty easy. Overall though, how a relationship starts dictates how it will go later on. It's never good when a guy chases after a girl. Get with other women, and if/when she comes back then decide then how you feel about it then.

I know how you feel, but it will get better, and you'll most likely laugh about this at some point later. The "first love" thing is always brutal because you convince yourself that you've found your soulmate or something, but it's really just someone who happened to be in your immediate vicinity at the time. Being 21, you have plenty of time to date others and find someone for the long term, at which point you'll also laugh about being in love over shallow, childish chit like "she bought me food." If it's "meant to be," maybe she'll be back after a period of time, but I sense that the "you're not loving enough" is code for "I'm young and want to try out other guys and need to make this someone else's fault so I won't feel bad about it."

She already had friends come over with flowers and a cake soon after the argument started. Me on the other hand? I'm fukking alone and have no one to talk to. I haven't even misced for the past 2 years but this is the only place I could think of to ask for help.

It'd be hard for me to find other girls so soon but she'd probably have a dozen ready to not only hold her hand but also fukk her brains out if she asked and if she did this after seeing me with other girls, I'd probably lose my damn mind.Yeah but it wasn't just buying me food and chit. I see all these girls out there and they're all high maintenance and chit, always having to put in a lot of effort everytime but my girl on the other hand spoiled me really good. Fukk I don't even know what I'm saying or what I'm thinking but I'm going to NC her for a few weeks hoping she realizes and comes back.

So many years of being together. I loved her. All of that for nothing and a lousy breakup over text? Not so much as even meeting me in person to end things or talk? This bytch really is evil. She also told me she realized she wasn't the one for me so she's probably going to try out other guys like you said. I'll fukking lose my chit if I see some other motherfukker with her. I just hope she changes her mind before it's too late to reconcile.

I think you need to gain some perspective. "So many years." It was about three years from 18-21 from what you've said. Doing it over text might just be a Zoomer thing that has become prevalent, but it's seriously disrespectful either way and wouldn't give me a lot of hope about her changing her mind. "I'm not the one for you" is absolutely "You are not the one for me." She's avoiding accountability by making it seem like she's doing you a favor.

It wasn't for nothing. You enjoyed yourself.
She isn't evil and doesn't owe you anything.
Would you rather she stay with you when she doesn't want to?

90+% of people don't marry their first love. It's pretty normal to just want to experience being single, not necessarily to date other people but just to have the freedom and independence to never feel like you owe someone a certain amount of your time and energy.

Getting over it will suck but go spend your time with friends and doing hobbies you enjoy (or pickup new ones).
Lift. Play sports. Earn some cash.

You'll be alright OP. I don't know a single person who is still hung up on their highschool/college sweetheart.

This. I still occasionally wonder what my life would be like now had things worked out with the first girl I "loved" in college, but it's very rare to think about and isn't upsetting at all at this point.

Try Men.

You're acting like a bitch.

She wants to be with other dudes, just lol if you let her manipulate you into thinking it was
Your fault.

Lmao @ unicorn. The bitch is 20. She is nothing yet. A unicorn woman to you is someone who'd break up a 3 yr relationship over text, so she could ride the carousel?

Lmao.. that's literally as cliche as they become. 21 is a very common age for first loves to break up. Nobody wants to be tied down hitting the scene for the first time.

Don't be naive and don't fight for her back. She'll come back the moment you move on. Ded srs.

unicorn lol

Still fuking pathetic

Thanks for your reply brahs. Really appreciate it. I stopped posting a while back because it started looking like a cesspool but it seems there's a lot of good brahs still around ready to help someone in need.

You guys are right. She probably isn't the one if she couldn't even as much as have the dignity to break up in person or try talking it out.

@InsanePain11: I saw your reply but it got deleted just as I was about to respond. The last argument was when we were chilling together last week. Near the end when I was about to leave, I was talking (as I/we normally do) and she told me to stfu and started crying, telling me just hearing me talk was annoying and hurting her head. I didn't say anything and she continued talking like nothing even happened. I left like 5 minutes after that. Fast forward a few days later she starts texting me like nothing even happened (I later found out that she started texting me the day she got her periods). I wasn't willing to respond until she apologized or brought the topic up. No apology at all from her. 1 week later from the initial argument, boom texts me its over and all the 'I'm not the one for you' and 'I'll always love you' garbage. Tells me she misses her freedom and chit (I made mistakes in this relationship but one thing I didn't do is ever restrict her freedom. If anything she was always the clingy one, texting me all the time, keeping me up late at night to talk even though I had classes/work the next day etc. to the point where my schedules were always fukked up because of this)

Fuk this bytch. I've got to move on. She's still on my socials like nothing's happened so she's probably trying to keep me on a leash. Thanks for giving me a reality check brahs I appreciate it.

Her actions at the end must be frustrating.

Too immature to have a difficult conversation in person and ignoring her own shortcomings.

The right person will not be perfect but they will recognize their mistakes, apologize, and be willing to discuss it like an adult even if the end result doesn't mean it works out.

As you have figured out, you deserve better and you'll be better off in the long run.

You know it's over when they're talking to you like it's an HR meeting.

I don't think you lost a unicorn if that's how she's acting. From what i read, she already had her mind made up long before you ever first broke up, considering she called it after 1 week on a 3 year relationship. A good woman would have been trying to work things out with you, or at least giving you some idea that something needs to be fixed not waiting for a fight to exit the situation.

She sounds immature and maybe she'll regret how she ended it, maybe she won't but ultimately it ain't your problem anymore. I would remove/block her on social media, or at the very least mute her posts/stories/activity so you aren't reminded of her constantly. And immediately cease communication with her past basic courtesies/very simple curt responses. Or if you aren't strong enough to do that go full NC, and if she has a problem you can explain to her that this isn't as easy for you as it seems to be for her and you need to deal your own way.

just read what your fight was about...wtf lol. fuk her, i would go no contact and block her on everything for that disrespect. you don't tell someone to stfu and that them talking is annoying/painful to listen to unless you have a headsplitting migraine lol. Definitely not a boyfriend of 3 years unless you're totally done with them.

Bro, read that chit and tell me how tf you thought that was some sort of unicorn?

I swear if a woman ever talked to me like that, I'd never allow her to experience my presence again. Also "miss my freedom," is code for "I want to fuk new people." I'm guessing all her friends recently turned/turning 21 and she feeling left out.

Not even close to a unicorn. She's a plow horse.

Keep your head up brahtha. Many girls are just that immature, but always remember that quality ones are not..and they’re out there somewhere.

Like I said before I deleted my post, whatever you do don’t go in a pity party or feel like you deserve to be depressed- it will stall your personal growth and make it much harder to move on. This will hurt bad, which is ok, don’t resist it bothering you but learn to accept and let go- it’ll take practice. Keep yourself busy and let any negative emotion from this motivate you in the gym, the classroom, work, talking to other girls or whatever.

I definitely agree wholeheartedly with the poster above who said stay away from her socials. I hope you take this part really serious. She’s ended your relationship and I think it’s best to assume she’s got other guys she’s at least entertaining, and eventually she’ll start posting some bs. That **** hurts if you did indeed care about her, and 3 years in not a short time, it’s not incredibly long at that age but it’s still significant. Saying this from experience, DO NOT stalk her profile, you should seriously consider blocking, that way if you have a weak moment or are drunk you won’t go looking. It could take you to a new low if you see her with someone else, that type of shet can drive someone crazy if you’re not thinking straight.

Man, breakups are so tough, especially after being with someone for that long. It sounds really sudden and unclear from her side. My advice would be to try and accept it's over for now and start the process of moving on, despite how much it hurts. Focus on spending time with good friends/family and keeping busy. Working out or a hobby could help. In time the pain will lessen. You'll get through this and come out stronger on the other side. For now, take it one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.

Not sure what was so great about her. Sounds very immature and was very cold with the way she got rid of you. You don't know why, she didn't try to work anything out, she toyed around with you and then ****ing around with it after. All this nonsense because she, very clearly, just wants to **** other men.

NC and stop putting her on some pedestal. You're only doing this because she was your first love and can't see all the things that are very obvious to most others.

The only thing you mention which was great: She bought you stuff. That's it. She spent money on you. You mentioned nothing else. Spending money is ****ing easy, even people without money spend all the damn time thanks to not caring about having good credit. Also, sounds like you were both doing it, so she was just keeping up with you anyway.

What's so great about that? Find someone willing to donate a kidney to you and not just some young kid who doesn't understand finance.