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Forum » Can't make a single friend. Should I see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist?
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Thread: Can't make a single friend. Should I see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist?

post 1573030631 02-06-2019, 12:53 PM
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Can't make a single friend. Should I see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist?

I am a 24-year-old man who currently holds a job. I graduated last semester.

I recently asked 2 guys to hangout with me who I knew from college. I politely asked one guy via ******** if he wanted to get a coffee tomorrow, but he ignored me. He did not seem like a mean guy when I was in college, and in fact seemed very nice. He ignored my message however. I then texted this other guy from Korea if he wanted to hangout and he also ignored my text. I would rarely ever hangout with these guys in college, but I don't see why they would ignore my messages.

I also asked a girl out before graduation a few months ago, and she also said no. This may because more "political" reasons though (ie. she may of not been attracted to me, not her type etc.)

This has been a reoccurring theme throughout college. I don't know why this keeps happening. I feel like I may have some undiagnosed aspergers(only thing I've been diagnosed with is dyslexia) and I may be saying some very rude or sexually explicit jokes without noticing my behavior. I am known to make disgusting jokes. Perhaps I say outrageous things without realizing it or talk too much without realizing that I am being a pest.

Should I keep trying to make friends and see where it goes, or should I seek professional advice? Thoughts? I can't understand why no one wants to be my friend.
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post 1573031111 02-06-2019, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
Do they know that you're red?
If I showed them my misc. account, they would probably dislike me even more.
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post 1573031191 02-06-2019, 12:58 PM
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Perhaps people around my age already have friends, family members and girlfriends/boyfriends so they just don't need more friends or don't have the time. Beyond boyfriends and girlfriends, I have noticed that my siblings or many other people I know don't actually have friends either.

Could this be a factor?

I actually had a LOT of friends in middle and H.S. The issue began in my sophomore year of college. I noticed that no one would talk to me.
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post 1573031571 02-06-2019, 01:00 PM
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post 1573031591 02-06-2019, 01:00 PM
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post 1573031731 02-06-2019, 01:02 PM
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Originally Posted By bhicks3712⏩
Where do you live
Dallas Texas.
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post 1573031901 02-06-2019, 01:03 PM
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I honestly think if no one ever wants to hang out with you there must be something 'off' about the way you interact with others that you're not aware of, so perhaps speaking with a psychologist may be beneficial to understand why.
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post 1573031911 02-06-2019, 01:03 PM
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Real talk OP... A psychiatrist isn't going to want to be your friend either.
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post 1573031921 02-06-2019, 01:03 PM
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Psychologist is what you want. A Psychiatrist is a doctor (MD/DO) who will usually treat mental health issues using medication. Some are trained in talk therapy. Think antidepressants for those with bipolar, antipsychotics for schizophrenics, etc. A Psychologist (PhD) usually has training in talk therapy and will work with you.

When I had issues with anxiety and panic attacks, I sought out a psychologist and made it clear I wanted to start cognitive behavioral therapy prior to starting any medications. He would've referred me to an in-house Psychiatrist for medications.
post 1573032091 02-06-2019, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted By johnnydeep1⏩
Dallas Texas.
North Dallas brah here

What you need to do is stop giving a fuk

Also, the guy probably thought you wanted to bang him asking for a coffee date lol.
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post 1573032101 02-06-2019, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted By RainingBlood⏩
Psychologist is what you want. A Psychiatrist is a doctor (MD/DO) who will usually treat mental health issues using medication. Some are trained in talk therapy. Think antidepressants for those with bipolar, antipsychotics for schizophrenics, etc. A Psychologist usually has training in talk therapy and will work with you.

When I had issues with anxiety and panic attacks, I sought out a psychologist and made it clear I wanted to start cognitive behavioral therapy prior to starting any medications.
Do you think I need medical attention or advice or should I just keep trying, ie. join chess clubs, go online etc.?
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post 1573032191 02-06-2019, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted By Willie_Bosket⏩
I honestly think if no one ever wants to hang out with you there must be something 'off' about the way you interact with others that you're not aware of, so perhaps speaking with a psychologist may be beneficial to understand why.
Thanks for the advice. I am glad that I at least have people on misc. who give a fuk.
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post 1573032271 02-06-2019, 01:07 PM
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Originally Posted By johnnydeep1⏩
Do you think I need medical attention or advice or should I just keep trying, ie. join chess clubs, go online etc.?
I think no one deserves to feel the way that you feel (according to your post). I recommend taking control of your mental health and making an appointment. It can only help, and a therapist will help you figure out the mistakes you're making. Sometimes, we need a third party or an outside perspective to tell us what we're doing wrong. Perhaps your parents taught you wrong things, perhaps you had poor examples of friends earlier on in life... Maybe you have bad social anxiety, and a lot of this is in your head.
post 1573032471 02-06-2019, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Willie_Bosket⏩
I honestly think if no one ever wants to hang out with you there must be something 'off' about the way you interact with others that you're not aware of, so perhaps speaking with a psychologist may be beneficial to understand why.
I basically was going to write that.

There was a period of my life (for various reasons) that I had really bad social skills.

I was bad at reading social cues, I would interrupt people when speaking, and I would continue speaking when people were showing signs that they weren't interested or were uncomfortable.

It took me a while to recognize why people seemed to only like me in 'small doses', and it took me a while to change those habits, but it is possible.

OP... Even if you are socially awkward, you can get better.

Now I actually get complimented on my social skills, even though people (after knowing me for a while) can tell them I'm 'odd'. (Honestly though... I like being a weird phuck.)
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post 1573032621 02-06-2019, 01:11 PM
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Originally Posted By RainingBlood⏩
Psychologist is what you want. A Psychiatrist is a doctor (MD/DO) who will usually treat mental health issues using medication. Some are trained in talk therapy. Think antidepressants for those with bipolar, antipsychotics for schizophrenics, etc. A Psychologist (PhD) usually has training in talk therapy and will work with you.

When I had issues with anxiety and panic attacks, I sought out a psychologist and made it clear I wanted to start cognitive behavioral therapy prior to starting any medications. He would've referred me to an in-house Psychiatrist for medications.
Thanks for the advice buddy.
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post 1573032641 02-06-2019, 01:11 PM
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You should see one for making this thread.
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post 1573032741 02-06-2019, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted By johnnydeep1⏩
Thanks for the advice buddy.
Anytime, feel free to PM me if you're feeling apprehensive about anything. It can be a little scary, and it takes a lot of courage to open up to a stranger about how you really feel.
post 1573033271 02-06-2019, 01:18 PM
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Who needs friends when you can just play vidya

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post 1573033471 02-06-2019, 01:20 PM
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Neither.
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post 1573033631 02-06-2019, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted By crupiea⏩
You should see one for making this thread.
post 1573033661 02-06-2019, 01:22 PM
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Originally Posted By RainingBlood⏩
Psychologist is what you want. A Psychiatrist is a doctor (MD/DO) who will usually treat mental health issues using medication. Some are trained in talk therapy. Think antidepressants for those with bipolar, antipsychotics for schizophrenics, etc. A Psychologist (PhD) usually has training in talk therapy and will work with you.

When I had issues with anxiety and panic attacks, I sought out a psychologist and made it clear I wanted to start cognitive behavioral therapy prior to starting any medications. He would've referred me to an in-house Psychiatrist for medications.
Good luck getting an appointment with a psychologist over this gay stuff op is talking about. They are busy seeing people with real problems like parents who've lost children to disease ect ect.. They are way to busy for this nonsense.
post 1573033751 02-06-2019, 01:23 PM
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I just can't see any psychologists or psychiatrists wanting to talk to you, OP. It doesn't seem like a realistic plan.
Take it easy Christian
post 1573033831 02-06-2019, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted By johnnydeep1⏩
I am a 24-year-old man who currently holds a job. I graduated last semester.

I recently asked 2 guys to hangout with me who I knew from college. I politely asked one guy via ******** if he wanted to get a coffee tomorrow, but he ignored me. He did not seem like a mean guy when I was in college, and in fact seemed very nice. He ignored my message however. I then texted this other guy from Korea if he wanted to hangout and he also ignored my text.I would rarely ever hangout with these guys in college, but I don't see why they would ignore my messages.

I also asked a girl out before graduation a few months ago, and she also said no. This may because more "political" reasons though (ie. she may of not been attracted to me, not her type etc.).
r u actually retarded? thats weird AF.

after college, people barely make time to chill with their actual friends. why the fukk wud they "grab a coffee" with you?
post 1573034141 02-06-2019, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted By VinnyPazRules⏩
Good luck getting an appointment with a psychologist over this gay stuff op is talking about. They are busy seeing people with real problems like parents who've lost children to disease ect ect.. They are way to busy for this nonsense.
What field do you work in where you know this? Please tell me about your experiences and what you've determined to be a "real problem", doctor.

While we're at it, don't try to flex your masculinity in here, tough guy. Different people deal with different things, and just because you think it's "gay stuff" doesn't make it so. It clearly means a lot to the OP and it bothers him enough to make a post. You don't know his past, so don't try to downplay his feelings. Stop contributing to the stigma of mental health.

I highly recommend not speaking on things you don't know about before you embarrass yourself even more.
post 1573034301 02-06-2019, 01:31 PM
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Originally Posted By 3basic5me⏩
r u actually retarded? thats weird AF.

after college, people barely make time to chill with their actual friends. why the fukk wud they "grab a coffee" with you?
No. He is STILL in college.
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post 1573034311 02-06-2019, 01:31 PM
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You basically just asked two dudes on a date, what did you expect?
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post 1573034361 02-06-2019, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted By johnnydeep1⏩
If I showed them my misc. account, they would probably dislike me even more.
Probably, considering how much we all dislike you.
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post 1573034411 02-06-2019, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted By ChristianMR⏩
I just can't see any psychologists or psychiatrists wanting to talk to you, OP. It doesn't seem like a realistic plan.
I agree.
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post 1573034491 02-06-2019, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted By RainingBlood⏩
What field do you work in where you know this? Please tell me about your experiences and what you've determined to be a "real problem", doctor.

While we're at it, don't try to flex your masculinity in here, tough guy. Different people deal with different things, and just because you think it's "gay stuff" doesn't make it so. It clearly means a lot to the OP and it bothers him enough to make a post. You don't know his past, so don't try to downplay his feelings. Stop contributing to the stigma of mental health.

I highly recommend not speaking on things you don't know about before you embarrass yourself even more.
You sound like a guy who washes his hands after he pees at the gym every single time without forgetting hygiene even for a second
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post 1573034571 02-06-2019, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted By SSM12⏩
You basically just asked two dudes on a date, what did you expect?
How else can I ask them to hangout (srs. I am pretty socially fuked up)
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