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Would you forgive debts owned by family?
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Voters: 2.| Tear the check up | 1 | 50% | |
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05-20-2024, 08:01 PM
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#1
- cavillac
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- cavillac
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Would you forgive debts owned by family?
Long story short, my older brother has struggled with addiction since he was in his 20's. In 2020 he got busted for possession and a few other charges so as a one time thing I bought him a lawyer for 5K. He ended up getting a little bit under 2 years in the state penitentiary. He has been out since 2022 on parole and just recently got off probation and has done good and led an honest life from all the evidence I have seen. He has made periodic payments to me for the lawyer and last week wrote me a check for the last 1200$ to make us square.
I'm not hurting for money thankfully and am considering just throwing the check away and telling him to do something rewarding with it but I worry that may be too tempting for someone in recovery. Is it wise to let him do what he wished with the money? The other thought I had was to cash it and spend it on some tools or something he could make use of. I just worry the money will tempt him to make a bad choice but also he needs to learn to handle money and this would be a good opportunity.
I'm not hurting for money thankfully and am considering just throwing the check away and telling him to do something rewarding with it but I worry that may be too tempting for someone in recovery. Is it wise to let him do what he wished with the money? The other thought I had was to cash it and spend it on some tools or something he could make use of. I just worry the money will tempt him to make a bad choice but also he needs to learn to handle money and this would be a good opportunity.
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05-20-2024, 08:04 PM
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#2
- Paul Kreul
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- Paul Kreul
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Cash it and tell him you are giving it back to him....if he stays clean for another 2 or 5 yrs.
05-20-2024, 08:08 PM
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#3
- DuracellBunny
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- DuracellBunny
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I personally wouldn't lend money to family, I would just give it to them or not give it to them.But, you are past that stage.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
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05-20-2024, 08:09 PM
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#4
- SaviorSelfJT
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- SaviorSelfJT
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Would depend on the circumstance
If I felt like I was being used and had the money basically stolen from me, then I’d be extra upset and the fact that it’s family would make it worse not better
If they tried to make a genuine effort to pay it back but truly can’t then that would be different
In your situation I would still want to collect. My opinion is if you fuk up you should correct your mistakes, if you pay for his lawyer and all that you are taking his chance away
If I felt like I was being used and had the money basically stolen from me, then I’d be extra upset and the fact that it’s family would make it worse not better
If they tried to make a genuine effort to pay it back but truly can’t then that would be different
In your situation I would still want to collect. My opinion is if you fuk up you should correct your mistakes, if you pay for his lawyer and all that you are taking his chance away
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05-20-2024, 08:10 PM
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#5
- FelixTheCat1919
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- FelixTheCat1919
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Originally Posted By DuracellBunny⏩
This. All of it.I personally wouldn't lend money to family, I would just give it to them or not give it to them.But, you are past that stage.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
/thread
05-20-2024, 08:16 PM
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#6
- naaboo
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Originally Posted By Paul
not a bad choiceCash it and tell him you are giving it back to him....if he stays clean for another 2 or 5 yrs.
Originally Posted By DuracellBunny⏩
but also this.I personally wouldn't lend money to family, I would just give it to them or not give it to them.But, you are past that stage.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
feel free to buy him an affordable toolset or something if that's what you want. don't go above and beyond. according to you he's on a proper path now. let him make his way.
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05-20-2024, 08:16 PM
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#7
- MyGhettoFantasy
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- MyGhettoFantasy
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Originally Posted By FelixTheCat1919⏩
Agreed.This. All of it.
/thread
/thread
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05-20-2024, 08:26 PM
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#8
- BigElephant
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Post deleted by user
05-20-2024, 08:26 PM
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#9
Originally Posted By DuracellBunny⏩
Nailed it.I personally wouldn't lend money to family, I would just give it to them or not give it to them.But, you are past that stage.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
Your brother may feelgoodabout paying it off and having paid you off is a milestone for him getting his life back on track. Anything other than what you agreed to, risks creating a problem that currently isn't there. Cash the check. Let there be an end to it, instead of him feeling like he still owes you.
05-20-2024, 08:32 PM
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#10
- Akd123
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- Akd123
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Either thats the worst lawyer you could find and he took your money or theres more to this story. He should of got probation with a paid lawyer if all he had was possession. Id be more pissed at the lawyer. lol at 5k i paid a lawyer $800 on a class 2 and i still didnt pay that fuker the full 2k cause he kept wanting to get fukey with me
as for the question buy him what he needs. if he just got out hes gonna be chasing dragons more than likely
as for the question buy him what he needs. if he just got out hes gonna be chasing dragons more than likely
05-20-2024, 08:47 PM
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#11
- LethalGunz34
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- LethalGunz34
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Originally Posted By Paul
This.Cash it and tell him you are giving it back to him....if he stays clean for another 2 or 5 yrs.
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