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Thread: Why do people that don't want kids get married?

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08-03-2024, 09:42 AM
#1

Why do people that don't want kids get married?

What's the point of decades of marriage if people don't want that binding force of having a family? I understand if someone can't have children, but perhaps other options are explored like adoption or surrogacy…if they fall through for whatever reasons like finances so be it.
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08-03-2024, 10:23 AM
#2
Any guesses?
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08-03-2024, 10:25 AM
#3
I don't know that's a very good question. No point in getting married if your "family" is husband + wife + some dogs. Maybe tax benefits? I'm not sure how much they would save by doing that.
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08-03-2024, 10:26 AM
#4
A better question is why do people have children out of wedlock.
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08-03-2024, 10:27 AM
#5
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
I don't know that's a very good question. No point in getting married if your "family" is husband + wife + some dogs. Maybe tax benefits? I'm not sure how much they would save by doing that.
it is kinda unsettling on some level to see people taking what would normally be family photos like at Christmas or something with some dogs, calling their dogs their kids, etc.
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08-03-2024, 10:29 AM
#6
Because they love each other and want to be bonded within a societal institution that represents lifelong commitment.

If they're religious, it's especially obvious.
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08-03-2024, 10:35 AM
#7
One answer might be because they love each other and want to team up for life.

Another answer could be because married people drastically out-perform single people in regards to income, wealth and quality of life.
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08-03-2024, 10:36 AM
#8
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Because they love each other and want to be bonded within a societal institution that represents lifelong commitment.

If they're religious, it's especially obvious.
Not sure if true but i see stats used that the divorce rate for childless couples is 66%.
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08-03-2024, 10:38 AM
#9
tax purposes and power of attorney
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08-03-2024, 10:38 AM
#10
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Because they love each other and want to be bonded within a societal institution that represents lifelong commitment.

If they're religious, it's especially obvious.
Originally Posted By guest89⏩
One answer might be because they love each other and want to team up for life.

Another answer could be because married people drastically out-perform single people in regards to income, wealth and quality of life.
but you could do these things without marriage. I'm pro-marriage but it seems strange to me people would want to follow traditions of marriage without following the traditions of having children. If they got married then adopted then that's one thing, but marriage with a decision to not have kids just seems pointless.
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08-03-2024, 10:40 AM
#11
Religious reasons maybe
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08-03-2024, 10:47 AM
#12
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
but you could do these things without marriage. I'm pro-marriage but it seems strange to me people would want to follow traditions of marriage without following the traditions of having children. If they got married then adopted then that's one thing, but marriage with a decision to not have kids just seems pointless.
I think it's strange to you because you think extremely logically about hard pros/cons, and don't recognize that most people would get a persistent psychological comfort from adhering to a marriage.

Why is marriage worthwhile to you even with kids? Because it puts up a barrier to breaking up?
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08-03-2024, 10:59 AM
#13
Taxes, benefits, if my wife is in the ER or something being a lawful spouse is better - etc., etc. This isnโ€™t rocket science.
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08-03-2024, 10:59 AM
#14
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
but you could do these things without marriage. I'm pro-marriage but it seems strange to me people would want to follow traditions of marriage without following the traditions of having children. If they got married then adopted then that's one thing, but marriage with a decision to not have kids just seems pointless.
yeah it's essentially saying we are in a relationship but now we have "approval of the state". and now we have a barrier to divorce which would be a possibly ugly divorce.
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08-03-2024, 11:11 AM
#15
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
I think it's strange to you because you think extremely logically about hard pros/cons, and don't recognize that most people would get a persistent psychological comfort from adhering to a marriage.

Why is marriage worthwhile to you even with kids? Because it puts up a barrier to breaking up?
Well in that case people are just operating off of feelings, and feelings are fleeting. It reminds me of this gem I found on Twitter:



People in those cases get married likely for selfish reasons; as long as they, themselves, are happy, then the marriage continues. If they hit a rough spot in the relationship what drives them to stick together, especially in the current era of people and their tendency to be more self-focused and self-centered? If they feel no impetus to keep the marriage together (i.e. kids, familial expectations) then they break up. Then what, do they just continue through life committing to a series of marriages and divorces? The concept of marriage seems like a frivolous thing, then.

On the other hand when people have kids their biological instincts tend to kick in and they become much more selfless, putting their children above themselves. Then the mom and dad get married and have this family structure built that the children thrive in. No kids are ever OK after their parents get a divorce, so the children feel some sort of comfort, safety, and stability in the marriage. That is crucial during a child's development. So for that reason I would say it's important for having children, but not so important if kids are not part of the equation. It just seems pointless to me, otherwise.

And I know this may contradict my previous point about operating off of feelings, but a lot of modern women who wouldn't take their husband's last name once married, have later said "I didn't feel like I was really part of the family – our child didn't have my last name and I had to explain to everyone that I wasn't the stepmother but the biological mother, everytime"

Just my two cents.
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08-03-2024, 11:16 AM
#16
What's the point of getting married anyways. You can have kids whenever you want


Marriage is a way to show your commitment to one person or be a dumb cuck if you got conned by a gold digger
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08-03-2024, 11:18 AM
#17
Originally Posted By miscinbro⏩
Taxes, benefits, if my wife is in the ER or something being a lawful spouse is better - etc., etc. This isnโ€™t rocket science.
i would think those factors would be waaaaaay down the list when considering marriage.
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08-03-2024, 11:19 AM
#18
Originally Posted By eddiehaskell⏩
i would think those factors would be waaaaaay down the list when considering marriage.
are you serious? power of attorney is literally the #1 reason with tax purposes being a close second
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08-03-2024, 11:21 AM
#19
Originally Posted By Cleveland33⏩
are you serious? power of attorney is literally the #1 reason with tax purposes being a close second
you're willing to spend your entire life with a person for THAT.
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08-03-2024, 11:22 AM
#20
Originally Posted By eddiehaskell⏩
you're willing to spend your entire life with a person for THAT.
no I'm spending the rest of my life with her cause i want to.
We're getting married for those reasons
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08-03-2024, 11:26 AM
#21
Originally Posted By Cleveland33⏩
no I'm spending the rest of my life with her cause i want to.
We're getting married for those reasons
well in that case i guess you have to weigh the benefits of marriage as a business decision vs the potential risks of divorce ending up costing you more than you would've saved
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08-03-2024, 11:37 AM
#22
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
but you could do these things without marriage. I'm pro-marriage but it seems strange to me people would want to follow traditions of marriage without following the traditions of having children. If they got married then adopted then that's one thing, but marriage with a decision to not have kids just seems pointless.
So you're going to date a girl. Buy a house with her. Have a joint bank account with her. Budget with her. Share an investment account & real estate investments with her. But you're not going to marry her So basically all of the risks of marriage without the tax benefits?



Originally Posted By eddiehaskell⏩
i would think those factors would be waaaaaay down the list when considering marriage.
Those factors are a massive reason. I was originally a little hesitant to get married. Worried bout losing all my hard earned assets if things go wrong. Thing is, even if we only have a 7 or 8 year run as a married couple then divorce. And split everything 50/50. I'll still have a higher net worth then if I stay single for the next 7 or 8 years. Furthermore, if we stay together long term. Net worth will be at least 5 mil higher with her then it would be solo. Most likely MUCH higher then 5 mil from being with her.


She comes with a 401K. 2 mil worth of life insurance policies on her parents. And will inherit a few houses/properties. Combine that with my retirement account + we'll have a joint investment account. I currently dump $1500 per month into. After marriage it will be 3K per month into it. Etc. Its just going to be a massive boost to my long term net worth with her.



I'm an extremely practical person. I think love is a temporary emotion. I'd never marry just for love. Found a chick I love and enjoy being with who also adds to my life in a massive way. Increased quality of life and a massive increase to our net worth.
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08-03-2024, 12:43 PM
#23
Originally Posted By eddiehaskell⏩
well in that case i guess you have to weigh the benefits of marriage as a business decision vs the potential risks of divorce ending up costing you more than you would've saved
not at all concerned about divorce.

I'd come out ahead anyway
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08-03-2024, 12:52 PM
#24
because theyre stupid
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08-03-2024, 12:58 PM
#25
Originally Posted By Cleveland33⏩
not at all concerned about divorce.

I'd come out ahead anyway
i reckon there are some circumstances where a person comes out ahead by marriage and if it doesn't work they don't stand to lose much financially.
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08-03-2024, 01:00 PM
#26
traditions? plus most places have common law marriage. plus it has some advantages tax wise and things like if say she was ever rush into the ER. you as just the BF wouldn't be allowed to see her right away. and the misc is the last place to ask this sorta question. majority of these guys have never even had a gf. like the manlet below. who spend more time watching red pill podcasts than actually in the real world. again below

Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
What's the point of getting married anyways. You can have kids whenever you want


Marriage is a way to show your commitment to one person or be a dumb cuck if you got conned by a gold digger
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08-03-2024, 01:14 PM
#27
Most married don't expect to divorce and yes taxes and ene of life decisions.
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08-03-2024, 01:54 PM
#28
Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
traditions? plus most places have common law marriage. plus it has some advantages tax wise and things like if say she was ever rush into the ER. you as just the BF wouldn't be allowed to see her right away. and the misc is the last place to ask this sorta question. majority of these guys have never even had a gf. like the manlet below. who spend more time watching red pill podcasts than actually in the real world. again below
couldn't end of life decisions be decided prior to any kind of end of life decisions needing to be made? couldn't estate planning be done with a will?

no way around the tax benefits but i reckon one would need to decide if tax benefits are worth the high risk of divorce most already know about (66% for childless couples).
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08-03-2024, 01:58 PM
#29
Perhaps they just want to enjoy their lives without the financial burden or time and effort it takes to raise a child/children. Nothing wrong with that.
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08-03-2024, 01:59 PM
#30
Originally Posted By eddiehaskell⏩
couldn't end of life decisions be decided prior to any kind of end of life decisions needing to be made? couldn't estate planning be done with a will?

no way around the tax benefits but i reckon one would need to decide if tax benefits are worth the high risk of divorce most already know about (66% for childless couples).
even with planning it is more difficult when it is not a spouse than when it is a spouse without planning
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