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» Yo Gbullock32 could you tell us some crazy prison stories? Srs
01-22-2024, 04:05 PM
#301
Ayylmao
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01-22-2024, 04:11 PM
#302
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
thats pretty cool. They get 20 minute calls and its only 1 penny a minute. Never heard of calls that cheap. Last time i was in county id see people spend $50 a day when they first get in there.
2 for $7, sht is well worth it, so are the Monster Beats, taste just like Monsters. Save Mart has them.
Hey don't you be hatin' on my Smirnoff! j/k, it's cheap and taste like ass but for the price it's just right.
Good for your Dad getting a chance to call you, when I was in a booth I'd always let people get a birthday call or let them call family on birthdays, I would look up to see birthdays and let them have an hour from 1800-1900 when we were down after chow. Normally calls are 15 minutes and only when we had dayroom, but hey, birthdays I can make an exception.
Hey don't you be hatin' on my Smirnoff! j/k, it's cheap and taste like ass but for the price it's just right.
Good for your Dad getting a chance to call you, when I was in a booth I'd always let people get a birthday call or let them call family on birthdays, I would look up to see birthdays and let them have an hour from 1800-1900 when we were down after chow. Normally calls are 15 minutes and only when we had dayroom, but hey, birthdays I can make an exception.
as far as the smirnoff its too sweet for me but ill allow it as long as its not llght beer
01-22-2024, 04:18 PM
#303
Originally Posted By Akd123⏩
Ever since covid the phones on the dayroom are fully free, but with the tablets now no one really uses them. Tablets do cost (forgot what) to send text/picture/video messages and I've seen guys was hundreds on the dumbest of sht, but they don't care, not their money.
thats pretty cool. They get 20 minute calls and its only 1 penny a minute. Never heard of calls that cheap. Last time i was in county id see people spend $50 a day when they first get in there.
as far as the smirnoff its too sweet for me but ill allow it as long as its not llght beer
as far as the smirnoff its too sweet for me but ill allow it as long as its not llght beer
"Hey babe"
"Thinking of you"
"What you doing"
"Hey, I need more money on my books, just a hundred or two!"
They'll rack up $20-30 a day on sht like that.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-22-2024, 04:27 PM
#304
Unrelated to work, got this on Etsy, can't beat some good Berserk for a display, gotta waste my OT on something other than cheap alcohol and cigars.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-23-2024, 10:31 AM
#305
thats pretty fuking cool. im a big Berserk fan
01-23-2024, 03:58 PM
#306
Used to be if an inmate wanted to roll up off the yard they had to give us something, "I need to get off the yard" or "I have safety concerns" is what we got all the time, well fck you why? Who? Either give it up or you can walk your ass right on out of my face. If they were in a fight then they could claim the other guy as an enemy though, or if they were the victim of sexual assault or rape. So if they told us they needed to roll up the option they got was "Suck, fck or fight."
Well, working D 2 and my partner and I are at the podium and a guy who just got out of ASU and is going to be celled up with a guy in 221 or 222 or some sht. He walks up, sets down the box of his property, the guy he is being celled with is also standing there. The new guy takes one look around and tells us he can't be on this yard. We just say "The fck you can't, you just got here, suck, fck or fight."
He shrugs and so does the guy he is being celled up with and they start swinging at each other. Well fck us, never had anyone actually take any of the options before lol. We yell for them to get down, they both do right away, no injuries or force used and the new guy goes right back to the hole. At least his property was already packed and inventoried.
Now they can just say they need to get off the yard and that's it, no further information needed, and that gets abused a lot; most have a drug or gambling debt and just want to run from it, don't worry, it's a small prison system, it will follow you.
Couple quick rants:
RHU rant- When I started it was ASU (Administrative Segregation Unit) very easy to say ASU on the radio. They then changed it to STRH (Short Term Restrictive Housing Unit) because it sounds 'better' which is to say more friendly on paper. Much harder to say on the radio and more annoying to type in reports. Recently it became RHU (Restrictive Housing Unit) because that sounds even better on paper. Most of us still just call it ASU out of habit, but you'll here all 3 still, we still call it 'The Hole' in most conversation, not usually on the radio though. Holding Cell, were we put guys who just fought or had drugs or something like that, got changed to 'Temporary Therapeutic Housing Module' too, which fck typing that up.
Inventorying Property rant- Whenever an inmate leaves the building, no matter where to, we need to go through all of their property and fill out an inventory sheet with everything listed, if possible the inmate signs it, we sign it, and the person/place receiving them has to go through it again and make sure it's right and also sign it. This can take 2 minutes if the guy just has nothing, or it can take an hour+ if the guy is loaded with canteen. Ever count out 100+ individual packs of ramen? Or 100+ cans of soda? How about a bunch or hair gel, soap, sauces and condiments? How many batteries do they have, how many hats, don't forget each appliance needs name/make/model/serial number. It fcking sucks.
And they almost always try and say we forgot a TV or radio, it's like motherfcker you don't even have one on your Property Inventory for items purchased so no we damn well didn't forget sht. Oh, the one you bought on the tier! Ah, well that's against the rules, so grievance tossed and here's 2 write ups, one for Manipulation of Staff and another for Misuse of the Grievance Process. Enjoy. Maybe a third for Delaying a Peace Officer since I had to deal with that grievance when I had other sht to do.
Well, working D 2 and my partner and I are at the podium and a guy who just got out of ASU and is going to be celled up with a guy in 221 or 222 or some sht. He walks up, sets down the box of his property, the guy he is being celled with is also standing there. The new guy takes one look around and tells us he can't be on this yard. We just say "The fck you can't, you just got here, suck, fck or fight."
He shrugs and so does the guy he is being celled up with and they start swinging at each other. Well fck us, never had anyone actually take any of the options before lol. We yell for them to get down, they both do right away, no injuries or force used and the new guy goes right back to the hole. At least his property was already packed and inventoried.
Now they can just say they need to get off the yard and that's it, no further information needed, and that gets abused a lot; most have a drug or gambling debt and just want to run from it, don't worry, it's a small prison system, it will follow you.
Couple quick rants:
RHU rant- When I started it was ASU (Administrative Segregation Unit) very easy to say ASU on the radio. They then changed it to STRH (Short Term Restrictive Housing Unit) because it sounds 'better' which is to say more friendly on paper. Much harder to say on the radio and more annoying to type in reports. Recently it became RHU (Restrictive Housing Unit) because that sounds even better on paper. Most of us still just call it ASU out of habit, but you'll here all 3 still, we still call it 'The Hole' in most conversation, not usually on the radio though. Holding Cell, were we put guys who just fought or had drugs or something like that, got changed to 'Temporary Therapeutic Housing Module' too, which fck typing that up.
Inventorying Property rant- Whenever an inmate leaves the building, no matter where to, we need to go through all of their property and fill out an inventory sheet with everything listed, if possible the inmate signs it, we sign it, and the person/place receiving them has to go through it again and make sure it's right and also sign it. This can take 2 minutes if the guy just has nothing, or it can take an hour+ if the guy is loaded with canteen. Ever count out 100+ individual packs of ramen? Or 100+ cans of soda? How about a bunch or hair gel, soap, sauces and condiments? How many batteries do they have, how many hats, don't forget each appliance needs name/make/model/serial number. It fcking sucks.
And they almost always try and say we forgot a TV or radio, it's like motherfcker you don't even have one on your Property Inventory for items purchased so no we damn well didn't forget sht. Oh, the one you bought on the tier! Ah, well that's against the rules, so grievance tossed and here's 2 write ups, one for Manipulation of Staff and another for Misuse of the Grievance Process. Enjoy. Maybe a third for Delaying a Peace Officer since I had to deal with that grievance when I had other sht to do.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-24-2024, 07:28 AM
#307
Working D yard SPO #4, it's a down day for training so nothing going on, no inmates out other than essential workers; we have our program office porters out to clean and they need some chemicals like bleach and sht. We keep all this back in a supply closet back in Education. We call over and it's a new C/O, I'd never worked with her but heard nothing good, but I'll wait to work with her myself before judging. We let her know our porter is coming over, and to let him in and just open the closet for him, he knows what to grab.
Maybe 5 minutes later we get a call from her saying there is an inmate at the door and she needs an officer to come over. I'm like wtf? YOU'RE an officer, and that's just our porter. She refuses to open the door without someone else there… da fuq?
I go over and even the porter is asking what her problem is, I just shrug and say no idea. We get the supplies and go back to program and now I know all the rumors I'd heard were true. Luckily she transferred after a few months to be closer to home.
Maybe 5 minutes later we get a call from her saying there is an inmate at the door and she needs an officer to come over. I'm like wtf? YOU'RE an officer, and that's just our porter. She refuses to open the door without someone else there… da fuq?
I go over and even the porter is asking what her problem is, I just shrug and say no idea. We get the supplies and go back to program and now I know all the rumors I'd heard were true. Luckily she transferred after a few months to be closer to home.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-25-2024, 02:02 PM
#308
One day, again working D yard SPO #4, and I was just running some paperwork to ASU; just some stuff from a previous roll up that needed some signatures. I get there, get the papers signed, takes 5 minutes tops and I go to leave. As I get to the exit door about 9 people, all dressed in suits, walk in; I just say "Hey" and keep right on walking, I'm getting the fck out of here fast. I have no idea who they are or what they are doing, but I know enough that if people in suits show up I want to be anywhere else fast.
Well, I get a call an hour later from the ASU Sgt. saying the guys in suits were there to do an audit, and they wanted me to get a write up for not checking their IDs as they entered ASU (policy is you ID everyone entering). I'm like, bro WTF I wasn't even working back there. I got told that since they saw my name, and technically all staff are responsible for safety and security of the institution I was still fcked. Just signed the On Job Training, no punishment, it just says I was counselled on policy, still some BS.
After that if anyone in a suit entered my building or anywhere I was working with a door people had to enter I would check their ID. Most looked at me like I was a dumbass, mostly since I kind of knew most of them, but no chances. I still do this years later and it has saved my ass on multiple security audits, usually only a few of us don't fail that part, and that's because all of us have gotten burned on that sht before.
Well, I get a call an hour later from the ASU Sgt. saying the guys in suits were there to do an audit, and they wanted me to get a write up for not checking their IDs as they entered ASU (policy is you ID everyone entering). I'm like, bro WTF I wasn't even working back there. I got told that since they saw my name, and technically all staff are responsible for safety and security of the institution I was still fcked. Just signed the On Job Training, no punishment, it just says I was counselled on policy, still some BS.
After that if anyone in a suit entered my building or anywhere I was working with a door people had to enter I would check their ID. Most looked at me like I was a dumbass, mostly since I kind of knew most of them, but no chances. I still do this years later and it has saved my ass on multiple security audits, usually only a few of us don't fail that part, and that's because all of us have gotten burned on that sht before.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-25-2024, 02:07 PM
#309
Great stories as always
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01-25-2024, 02:29 PM
#310
Doing overtime as B yard SPO on my day off, it's the middle of the night and I'm just doing my count, can't wait to get home. I pass by cell 137 and the guy is just standing there, cool, easy to see him over the guys who are all asleep. I walk maybe 2 steps and…. something was off, I just feel it, since he was standing I'd just kind of walked by as I saw him but I got a bad feeling… not sure.
I walk back and take a more thorough look (like I should have to begun with)… motherfcker, this guy has a noose on his neck strung from the ceiling light, and his neck is stretched out so far (maybe 10 inches) that his feet are now touching the ground. I probably woke the whole building up as I yelled "God Dammit, this sht had to happen today!" I radio everyone to start coming to the building, we hit the alarm and get the cut down kit.
Luckily the guy was not too heavy, maybe 160 pounds or so, but trust me when people say 'dead weight' it really is a thing, a dead body just feels so much heavier for some reason. Luckily since I grabbed the cut down hook I got to watch 2 of my partners hold the guy up while I cut the noose off. We start CPR as we wait for the ambulance to get there, luckily the body was still warm and no signs of rigor mortis. So he died recently, which means we found him well within the timeframe of it not being our fault for missing a body. You can find a body, that's not a problem, it's when you don't find it but someone else does and the time of death was during your shift; how did you miss that dead guy is a shtty question to need to answer, luckily I always seem to find them (luckily?). I've found maybe 8 bodies on the night shift over the years, I think I might be cursed, most people might find 1 or 2, if any.
Ambulance shows up, my partner goes with them, still having to do CPR which is done until they pronounce him dead, and since it's the middle of the night we have no doctors on grounds so it's gonna be a minute of him doing CPR until the EMTs show up and call it. Cell gets sealed as a crime scene, we do our reports, still out the gate on time!
I walk back and take a more thorough look (like I should have to begun with)… motherfcker, this guy has a noose on his neck strung from the ceiling light, and his neck is stretched out so far (maybe 10 inches) that his feet are now touching the ground. I probably woke the whole building up as I yelled "God Dammit, this sht had to happen today!" I radio everyone to start coming to the building, we hit the alarm and get the cut down kit.
Luckily the guy was not too heavy, maybe 160 pounds or so, but trust me when people say 'dead weight' it really is a thing, a dead body just feels so much heavier for some reason. Luckily since I grabbed the cut down hook I got to watch 2 of my partners hold the guy up while I cut the noose off. We start CPR as we wait for the ambulance to get there, luckily the body was still warm and no signs of rigor mortis. So he died recently, which means we found him well within the timeframe of it not being our fault for missing a body. You can find a body, that's not a problem, it's when you don't find it but someone else does and the time of death was during your shift; how did you miss that dead guy is a shtty question to need to answer, luckily I always seem to find them (luckily?). I've found maybe 8 bodies on the night shift over the years, I think I might be cursed, most people might find 1 or 2, if any.
Ambulance shows up, my partner goes with them, still having to do CPR which is done until they pronounce him dead, and since it's the middle of the night we have no doctors on grounds so it's gonna be a minute of him doing CPR until the EMTs show up and call it. Cell gets sealed as a crime scene, we do our reports, still out the gate on time!
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-25-2024, 02:31 PM
#311
Holy shiit
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01-25-2024, 02:35 PM
#312
I come to this thread occasionally and have read a few pages bc I have had some interaction with sloots who are in law enforcement. So if this has been discussed already, tell me what page. But any stories about law enforcement sloots doing sloot thangs?
01-25-2024, 02:43 PM
#313
Originally Posted By tripod29⏩
Not really, I avoid all that drama, if you get named when someone files, even if you don't know sht you get to talk to investigations.
I come to this thread occasionally and have read a few pages bc I have had some interaction with sloots who are in law enforcement. So if this has been discussed already, tell me what page. But any stories about law enforcement sloots doing sloot thangs?
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-25-2024, 02:59 PM
#314
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
I'm not sure how it is where you work but we have tons of male/female co's having affairs with the people they work with. When it comes to hooking up with inmates, it's normally happening with the nurses who work in the prison. I know quite a few who have been walked off the premises…
Not really, I avoid all that drama, if you get named when someone files, even if you don't know sht you get to talk to investigations.
National Level Competitor (Female BB)
01-25-2024, 02:59 PM
#315
I like to mess with guys to make the day go by, sitting at the podium in D 2 with my partner and for some reason there's a random blank note card there, no clue why. So I take it and write 'Fck' on it, put it in my pocket and play the waiting game. About an hour goes by and an inmate comes up and says "Hey, the power in my cell is out, can you reset it?" Technically we are not allowed to do that, but usually we do it out of courtesy.
I just stand up and tell him to hold on as I start digging in my pockets, I pull out the note card with 'Fck' on it and hand it to him. "Hey I have one last fck to give, you just go ahead and hang on to that, I'll get yah later." My partner can't stop laughing as the inmate just takes the note card and walks away. Hours later we are doing the last count of our shift and I walk by the guys cell and he just yells "Hey Bullock! I still have your last ****!" Son of a bitch… he does. Again my partner is laughing as I go to reset the guys power.
That joke bit me in the ass.
I just stand up and tell him to hold on as I start digging in my pockets, I pull out the note card with 'Fck' on it and hand it to him. "Hey I have one last fck to give, you just go ahead and hang on to that, I'll get yah later." My partner can't stop laughing as the inmate just takes the note card and walks away. Hours later we are doing the last count of our shift and I walk by the guys cell and he just yells "Hey Bullock! I still have your last ****!" Son of a bitch… he does. Again my partner is laughing as I go to reset the guys power.
That joke bit me in the ass.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-25-2024, 03:00 PM
#316
Originally Posted By kimm4⏩
We get this a lot, one women is nicknamed "Black Widow" since she's ruined 3 marriages so far, I just keep out of all the drama, not my thing.
I'm not sure how it is where you work but we have tons of male/female co's having affairs. When it comes to hooking up with inmates, it's normally happening with nurses who work in the prison. I know quite a few who have been walked off the premises…
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-25-2024, 03:01 PM
#317
Originally Posted By kimm4⏩
Ur a correctional officer too?
I'm not sure how it is where you work but we have tons of male/female co's having affairs. When it comes to hooking up with inmates, it's normally happening with the nurses who work in the prison. I know quite a few who have been walked off the premises…
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01-25-2024, 03:06 PM
#318
Originally Posted By Getter_done⏩
I went through the academy years ago but I didn't take the job. They wanted me to go to Framingham women's and it's too far from where I live. My kids were young and I wasn't willing to be that far away from them at the time. 90 % of my friends work in corrections so I hear all the dirt lol…
Ur a correctional officer too?
National Level Competitor (Female BB)
01-25-2024, 03:08 PM
#319
Originally Posted By kimm4⏩
Ah lol nice
I went through the academy years ago but I didn't take the job. They wanted me to go to Framingham women's and it's too far from where I live. My kids were young and I wasn't willing to be that far away from them at the time. 90 % of my friends work in corrections so I hear all the dirt lol…
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01-25-2024, 03:18 PM
#320
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Oh I believe it. There's also a few married couples husbands/wives who work together in the prison. I don't need to tell you how those marriages worked out…
We get this a lot, one women is nicknamed "Black Widow" since she's ruined 3 marriages so far, I just keep out of all the drama, not my thing.
National Level Competitor (Female BB)
01-25-2024, 03:19 PM
#321
Originally Posted By kimm4⏩
When a SPO goes up into a Control Booth for the entire night shift… yeah people notice.
Oh I believe it. There's also a few married couples husbands/wives who work together in the prison. I don't need to tell you how those marriages worked out…
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-25-2024, 03:28 PM
#322
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
LOL'd exactly…
When a SPO goes up into a Control Booth for the entire night shift… yeah people notice.
National Level Competitor (Female BB)
01-27-2024, 06:43 AM
#323
Going to be busy the the next few days, double shifts then to Sac for some job training sht I signed up for but I'll try and drop at least one story a day.
Working A yard as SPO #1 on 1/w, doing my count and this guy has a window cover up in his door window; we always make them take it down, I just hit the door with my baton until they do. So they know the program and I tap the window with my flashlight, and tell him to take down the window cover. He just calls me a bitch. All right then, baton out and I just start beating the door, he tells me I can do it all night he wont take it down. Motherfcker I will! After maybe a minute I'm like fck this, guy wont take it down I will. I flash the control booth with my flashlight and tell him "Pop it." He looks confused but pops the door, now on the night shift we need Watch Commander approval to open any doors for safety reasons but nah, ain't got time for that sht.
The door pops open and I just reach in and grab the cardboard cover off the window and tell him "Who's the bitch now?" and he jumps up, I just slam the door and laugh walking away as he is screaming at me, calling me all kinds of sht and telling me to open the door again. Nah, it hits me just how dumb that was, I could have gotten into a fight and I definitely would have been in a lot of trouble over that.
I finish my count and leave the building and at the back window is the booth cop, he is pissed at me. He goes off on how fcking dumb I am, how both of us would have lost money had that gone bad, I just let him yell at me since I deserve it, told him I was sorry. He thought we had a man down, not that I was going to stir sht up in the middle of the night.
I am amazed at how often I do stupid sht like this and somehow it hasn't bit me in the ass yet, you can call me Neo with all the bullets I've dodged.
Working A yard as SPO #1 on 1/w, doing my count and this guy has a window cover up in his door window; we always make them take it down, I just hit the door with my baton until they do. So they know the program and I tap the window with my flashlight, and tell him to take down the window cover. He just calls me a bitch. All right then, baton out and I just start beating the door, he tells me I can do it all night he wont take it down. Motherfcker I will! After maybe a minute I'm like fck this, guy wont take it down I will. I flash the control booth with my flashlight and tell him "Pop it." He looks confused but pops the door, now on the night shift we need Watch Commander approval to open any doors for safety reasons but nah, ain't got time for that sht.
The door pops open and I just reach in and grab the cardboard cover off the window and tell him "Who's the bitch now?" and he jumps up, I just slam the door and laugh walking away as he is screaming at me, calling me all kinds of sht and telling me to open the door again. Nah, it hits me just how dumb that was, I could have gotten into a fight and I definitely would have been in a lot of trouble over that.
I finish my count and leave the building and at the back window is the booth cop, he is pissed at me. He goes off on how fcking dumb I am, how both of us would have lost money had that gone bad, I just let him yell at me since I deserve it, told him I was sorry. He thought we had a man down, not that I was going to stir sht up in the middle of the night.
I am amazed at how often I do stupid sht like this and somehow it hasn't bit me in the ass yet, you can call me Neo with all the bullets I've dodged.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
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- gbullock32
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01-28-2024, 02:29 AM
#324
Working in D 2 on the floor and at the podium with my partner, it's 2100, we just recalled the dayroom for the last count and the only guy out is one of our porters. He is going to various doors and passing in a folded news paper, then the guys in the cell pass it back; we know exactly what he's doing, but we're just watching, let's see who all is getting drugs tonight, this info will be useful later. He goes to maybe 6 cells and on the last one the guy in the cell (the guy I pulled the seamen prank on from another story) yells "Hey, what the hell, there's nothing here" and our porter starts going on about how it must be a mistake, how he might have dropped 'it'.
Well, my partner being funny decides to walk over to the porter and takes his flashlight out and shines it at the ground. "Hey, we can find it! Retrace your steps, go back the way you came!" Now this porter is not a smart man, at all, and he starts going back the way he came, going to each cell and asking if they took or got too much. The guys in the cell see my partner right by him and keep yelling at him to fck off, they have no idea what he is talking about.
He does this for a minute or so, going to 3 cells before he realizes what's going on and he just turns, says nothing, and goes into his cell and shuts the door. The whole time I'm just at the podium laughing so hard I think I'll sht myself.
Well, my partner being funny decides to walk over to the porter and takes his flashlight out and shines it at the ground. "Hey, we can find it! Retrace your steps, go back the way you came!" Now this porter is not a smart man, at all, and he starts going back the way he came, going to each cell and asking if they took or got too much. The guys in the cell see my partner right by him and keep yelling at him to fck off, they have no idea what he is talking about.
He does this for a minute or so, going to 3 cells before he realizes what's going on and he just turns, says nothing, and goes into his cell and shuts the door. The whole time I'm just at the podium laughing so hard I think I'll sht myself.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
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- gbullock32
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01-28-2024, 03:02 AM
#325
jfl^
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
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01-28-2024, 10:59 AM
#326
Working overtime 3/w in A 5 on the floor, my partner is also on overtime, so neither of us are regulars and the inmates know this so they are acting dumb. One guy though just wont stop hanging on doors; a pet peeve of mine and my partners. Hanging on a door is when an inmate gets right up to a cell door that is not theirs, usually to talk to the guy in the cell or pass things; reason I hate it is when I was new we'd do 'one ways'. You stand near your door and even though it's not an inline (when we let inmates in/out of their cells) and we'd let you go in, but you stay in until the next outline. Guys would just go in, grab something and come right back out which was just disrespectful or it wasn't their cell and they'd pass something. So now if you hang on doors I warn you once, then start doing 'random' cell searches of any cell you go to, because why hit the guys cell when I can hit the one he was hanging on, it really pissed off the guys in the cell. Ask if you can go to a door, give that courtesy, and I'll say sure, but just go and do it and you land on my sht list instantly.
So I call the guy over to the podium to talk to him. My partner and I get along great but we are very different, he is straight by the book, no messing with guys, he just writes them up, absolutely knowledgeable about policy, and I am more of a I will get the results I want but the how is usually a little… unorthodox. We know each other well, and working together is great since it lets us have multiple options for how to fix a problem. So I tell the inmate he has 2 choices, we can get him to stop being on doors 2 ways, my partners way or my way, he gets to pick which. He doesn't know either of us, so he asks why he gets to pick. I said "That's the game! Either way, you will lose, it's just how you lose, so pick!" He Bert stares at me, then my partner, then me again and says "I pick your way."
Wrong choice! I grab a trash bag, 10 cell search receipts and tell him I'm going to go and rip up 10 random cells, but everyone will know why they are getting smashed. He tries to change his answer but nah, too late, my partner and I love cell searches, so he's up for it. We go and clean some cells out, and when asked why they are getting searched I just say "Dunno, maybe if people would stay off doors (while staring at the guy) maybe this wouldn't happen", the guy got a talking to by all of the guys who got searched, he ended up going into his cell and not coming back out for the rest of our shift.
I got what I wanted, he stayed off the doors; my methods might not be the norm but I always get the end result I want. Didn't have any problems with guys acting a fool all day after that either, make me work and dammit I will work.
So I call the guy over to the podium to talk to him. My partner and I get along great but we are very different, he is straight by the book, no messing with guys, he just writes them up, absolutely knowledgeable about policy, and I am more of a I will get the results I want but the how is usually a little… unorthodox. We know each other well, and working together is great since it lets us have multiple options for how to fix a problem. So I tell the inmate he has 2 choices, we can get him to stop being on doors 2 ways, my partners way or my way, he gets to pick which. He doesn't know either of us, so he asks why he gets to pick. I said "That's the game! Either way, you will lose, it's just how you lose, so pick!" He Bert stares at me, then my partner, then me again and says "I pick your way."
Wrong choice! I grab a trash bag, 10 cell search receipts and tell him I'm going to go and rip up 10 random cells, but everyone will know why they are getting smashed. He tries to change his answer but nah, too late, my partner and I love cell searches, so he's up for it. We go and clean some cells out, and when asked why they are getting searched I just say "Dunno, maybe if people would stay off doors (while staring at the guy) maybe this wouldn't happen", the guy got a talking to by all of the guys who got searched, he ended up going into his cell and not coming back out for the rest of our shift.
I got what I wanted, he stayed off the doors; my methods might not be the norm but I always get the end result I want. Didn't have any problems with guys acting a fool all day after that either, make me work and dammit I will work.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
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- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
- Join Date: May 2011
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01-30-2024, 07:20 AM
#327
Fast one before I go to a long training class.
Working D yard in building 5 and we have an alarm in building 1, long run so by the time I get there it's all over but apparently and inmate was acting up (drunk) so they were going to escort him to program to put him in a holding cell to calm down. While going through the rotunda of building 1 he decided to spin on and attack the officer escorting him. Bad idea since this dude is pretty jacked and definitely not about to take sht. The officer ended up just picking the guy up and body slammed him into the concrete hard enough to KO the inmate, oops, sht happens. The inmate ended up with a concussion but learned an important lesson, you can be a good fighter but concrete always wins!
Whenever an inmate spins on me during a pat down I go for a slam for that reason, also since I'm behind them it puts me in a good position to do it. I sometimes just grab them and pull them down to the ground and pin them but then everyone else just jumps on top then I get crushed under 4+ other people which is always a shtty time.
Working D yard in building 5 and we have an alarm in building 1, long run so by the time I get there it's all over but apparently and inmate was acting up (drunk) so they were going to escort him to program to put him in a holding cell to calm down. While going through the rotunda of building 1 he decided to spin on and attack the officer escorting him. Bad idea since this dude is pretty jacked and definitely not about to take sht. The officer ended up just picking the guy up and body slammed him into the concrete hard enough to KO the inmate, oops, sht happens. The inmate ended up with a concussion but learned an important lesson, you can be a good fighter but concrete always wins!
Whenever an inmate spins on me during a pat down I go for a slam for that reason, also since I'm behind them it puts me in a good position to do it. I sometimes just grab them and pull them down to the ground and pin them but then everyone else just jumps on top then I get crushed under 4+ other people which is always a shtty time.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
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- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
- Join Date: May 2011
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- Age: 33
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01-30-2024, 08:29 AM
#328
Entertaining af mirin
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01-30-2024, 07:44 PM
#329
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Going to be busy the the next few days, double shifts then to Sac for some job training sht I signed up for but I'll try and drop at least one story a day.
Working A yard as SPO #1 on 1/w, doing my count and this guy has a window cover up in his door window; we always make them take it down, I just hit the door with my baton until they do. So they know the program and I tap the window with my flashlight, and tell him to take down the window cover. He just calls me a bitch. All right then, baton out and I just start beating the door, he tells me I can do it all night he wont take it down. Motherfcker I will! After maybe a minute I'm like fck this, guy wont take it down I will. I flash the control booth with my flashlight and tell him "Pop it." He looks confused but pops the door, now on the night shift we need Watch Commander approval to open any doors for safety reasons but nah, ain't got time for that sht.
The door pops open and I just reach in and grab the cardboard cover off the window and tell him "Who's the bitch now?" and he jumps up, I just slam the door and laugh walking away as he is screaming at me, calling me all kinds of sht and telling me to open the door again. Nah, it hits me just how dumb that was, I could have gotten into a fight and I definitely would have been in a lot of trouble over that.
I finish my count and leave the building and at the back window is the booth cop, he is pissed at me. He goes off on how fcking dumb I am, how both of us would have lost money had that gone bad, I just let him yell at me since I deserve it, told him I was sorry. He thought we had a man down, not that I was going to stir sht up in the middle of the night.
I am amazed at how often I do stupid sht like this and somehow it hasn't bit me in the ass yet, you can call me Neo with all the bullets I've dodged.
Working A yard as SPO #1 on 1/w, doing my count and this guy has a window cover up in his door window; we always make them take it down, I just hit the door with my baton until they do. So they know the program and I tap the window with my flashlight, and tell him to take down the window cover. He just calls me a bitch. All right then, baton out and I just start beating the door, he tells me I can do it all night he wont take it down. Motherfcker I will! After maybe a minute I'm like fck this, guy wont take it down I will. I flash the control booth with my flashlight and tell him "Pop it." He looks confused but pops the door, now on the night shift we need Watch Commander approval to open any doors for safety reasons but nah, ain't got time for that sht.
The door pops open and I just reach in and grab the cardboard cover off the window and tell him "Who's the bitch now?" and he jumps up, I just slam the door and laugh walking away as he is screaming at me, calling me all kinds of sht and telling me to open the door again. Nah, it hits me just how dumb that was, I could have gotten into a fight and I definitely would have been in a lot of trouble over that.
I finish my count and leave the building and at the back window is the booth cop, he is pissed at me. He goes off on how fcking dumb I am, how both of us would have lost money had that gone bad, I just let him yell at me since I deserve it, told him I was sorry. He thought we had a man down, not that I was going to stir sht up in the middle of the night.
I am amazed at how often I do stupid sht like this and somehow it hasn't bit me in the ass yet, you can call me Neo with all the bullets I've dodged.
**** would have loved a meet up! Out of town this week.
Free Agent…
☑*CountryMike Appreciation Crew*☑
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=177264401&p=1582345751#post1582345751
01-31-2024, 02:20 AM
#330
Originally Posted By jwtiger69⏩
Damn, yeah had to do the CCPOA Job Steward training for the Union sht, got voluntold by my friends in the Union since they have no one on 1/w.
**** would have loved a meet up! Out of town this week.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
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- gbullock32
- Common sense/moderation.
- Join Date: May 2011
- Location: Coalinga, California, United States
- Age: 33
- Posts: 48,540
- Rep Power: 463,307
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