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Thread: Yo Gbullock32 could you tell us some crazy prison stories? Srs

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03-22-2024, 05:49 PM
#421
Working in D 5 on the floor, maybe 1530 an alarm in D2, fck I hate that run, get there and it's just an OD, no big deal. He goes to CTC and they give him a few IVs and send him back. Then 1730ish we are doing the dinner release and again, alarm in D 2, same guy ODed again, motherfcker. I just walk up and ask him what he took, crystal meth is a hell of a drug; guess he blacked out and fell, bit the tip of his tongue off and cracked his head open. He would not stop asking us why he tasted blood, no matter how many times we told him he just bit his tongue, he starts freaking out because he thinks he has internal bleeding.

I'm pissed and in no way here to help the situation, so I just tell him yep, internal bleeding and he's going to die; he starts panicking and my Sgt. is pissed but this is funny. They sent him out on an ambulance this time; guess shooting up a lot of meth twice in one day is a bad idea. My partner and I go and search his cell and find a golf ball sized bindle, looked like a mix of wax (synthetic THC), meth, and her0ine. Luckily it was my partner who found it so he had to do the photos and evidence and I got to go eat my lunch.
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03-22-2024, 06:10 PM
#422
We do pat downs a lot when we open for yard, usually a building or 2, sometimes the whole yard; it's annoying and we usually never find anything since they know we do it, so they wait until later to sneak sht out. I just try and fck with guys I pat doen to entertain myself.

"Take your hat off. Put your hat on. Take your hat off." I love the confused looks I get.

"Do you know why I pulled you over today? License, insurance and registration." Throws them through a complete loop as they try and figure out what I'm doing when I'm just bored.
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03-22-2024, 06:24 PM
#423
Just got new cop, she has maybe a month in and already requesting to only work spots with no inmate contact since she is scared of inmates. Da fuq? You work in a prison as a guard, wtf did you think you'd be doing if not work around inmates; dem hiring standards. Scraped through the bottom of the barrel and are digging a hole now to find people. Worked with her once and she pretty much hid i the office the whole shift, which to be fair probably made my day easier, it's not hard to run a building.
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03-22-2024, 09:07 PM
#424
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Just got new cop, she has maybe a month in and already requesting to only work spots with no inmate contact since she is scared of inmates. Da fuq? You work in a prison as a guard, wtf did you think you'd be doing if not work around inmates; dem hiring standards. Scraped through the bottom of the barrel and are digging a hole now to find people. Worked with her once and she pretty much hid i the office the whole shift, which to be fair probably made my day easier, it's not hard to run a building.
is she hot?

also, where tf do the drugs come from?
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03-23-2024, 06:03 AM
#425
What happens to cops who go to prison?
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03-23-2024, 06:22 AM
#426
G Bullock probably backs out of any fights/restrainings because he tells himself he has a bad back (weak) lmao.
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03-23-2024, 06:31 AM
#427
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
is she hot?

also, where tf do the drugs come from?
She's ok… but by prison standards maybe 8/10? Drugs get in through visiting mostly, free staff cooks, teachers, ect; occasionally dirty cops.

Originally Posted By Brommando⏩
What happens to cops who go to prison?
Depends, we had one who killed a guy who molested his daughter and no one bothered him. Also had one in for molesting his daughter, he had a bad time….

Originally Posted By Khumatmibro⏩
G Bullock probably backs out of any fights/restrainings because he tells himself he has a bad back (weak) lmao.
All you ever do is talk so whatever.
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03-23-2024, 10:54 AM
#428
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Just got new cop, she has maybe a month in and already requesting to only work spots with no inmate contact since she is scared of inmates. Da fuq? You work in a prison as a guard, wtf did you think you'd be doing if not work around inmates; dem hiring standards. Scraped through the bottom of the barrel and are digging a hole now to find people. Worked with her once and she pretty much hid i the office the whole shift, which to be fair probably made my day easier, it's not hard to run a building.
Lmao
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03-25-2024, 11:25 PM
#429
So this happened to me Sunday night, I was working A Yard SPO# 4, my regular spot and it's 2215, I'm just running paperwork to the buildings and using the golf cart because fck walking. I finish and go to turn the cart to head back to the Program office, I turn the wheel on the golf cart all the way to the left and hit the gas. A Yard has possibly the fastest cart in the prison, not sure why, it just is. As I slam the gas I learn centrifugal force is a bitch, there was so much momentum that I slid from the driver side across the seat to the passenger side and kept right on sliding; I got flung off the cart due to the force, landed on my ass on the track and the cart rolled off. I just sat there a minute, looked around, no one saw it! Good! That sht was embarrassing. When my partners asked why I was limping later I just told them don't worry about why my ass was sore, no questions on 1/w!
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.

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03-26-2024, 04:05 PM
#430
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
So this happened to me Sunday night, I was working A Yard SPO# 4, my regular spot and it's 2215, I'm just running paperwork to the buildings and using the golf cart because fck walking. I finish and go to turn the cart to head back to the Program office, I turn the wheel on the golf cart all the way to the left and hit the gas. A Yard has possibly the fastest cart in the prison, not sure why, it just is. As I slam the gas I learn centrifugal force is a bitch, there was so much momentum that I slid from the driver side across the seat to the passenger side and kept right on sliding; I got flung off the cart due to the force, landed on my ass on the track and the cart rolled off. I just sat there a minute, looked around, no one saw it! Good! That sht was embarrassing. When my partners asked why I was limping later I just told them don't worry about why my ass was sore, no questions on 1/w!
Fkn lmao
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03-26-2024, 04:21 PM
#431
So my friend was counting A building 5, and an inmate would board up (block the whole cell door window) every time he walked in, only a small spot open to see in; but the inmate would take it all down when he heard my friend coming for count. Well, my buddy got curious what this guy was doing, so he took off all his equipment and snuck up on the cell to catch this guy…

Anyways he comes back from count looking like he saw a ghost, all pale. He just tells us to never sneak up on cell 101 in building 5. Well, fck, now we're curious, so we ask him why… "This guy was face down ass up and treating his butthole like a scratch and sniff, he was digging in his ass with his fingers, then smelling them, I stood there for 5 minutes and he just kept going!"

Well 2 things, why the fck were you there 5 minutes, and also that's on you for being curious.

Night shift is fun.
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03-26-2024, 04:23 PM
#432
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
So my friend was counting A building 5, and an inmate would board up (block the whole cell door window) every time he walked in, only a small spot open to see in; but the inmate would take it all down when he heard my friend coming for count. Well, my buddy got curious what this guy was doing, so he took off all his equipment and snuck up on the cell to catch this guy…

Anyways he comes back from count looking like he saw a ghost, all pale. He just tells us to never sneak up on cell 101 in building 5. Well, fck, now we're curious, so we ask him why… "This guy was face down ass up and treating his butthole like a scratch and sniff, he was digging in his ass with his fingers, then smelling them, I stood there for 5 minutes and he just kept going!"

Well 2 things, why the fck were you there 5 minutes, and also that's on you for being curious.

Night shift is fun.
Yall ever find inmates with dildos lmao?
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03-26-2024, 04:31 PM
#433
Originally Posted By Getter_done⏩
Yall ever find inmates with dildos lmao?
Only once, they carved it from wood in the wood shop; don't want to even imagine the splinters. Seen some use Summer Sausages though, and anytime we cell feed and have hot dogs we give the guys who eat the dog but not the bun sht. Gonna need you to squat and cough, that's suspect right there!
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03-26-2024, 04:32 PM
#434
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Only once, they carved it from wood in the wood shop; don't want to even imagine the splinters. Seen some use Summer Sausages though, and anytime we cell feed and have hot dogs we give the guys who eat the dog but not the bun sht. Gonna need you to squat and cough, that's suspect right there!
Lolol
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03-26-2024, 04:34 PM
#435
Rotting like a pro right now, cigar and a Corona, some vodka… good day.

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03-26-2024, 04:35 PM
#436
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Rotting like a pro right now, cigar and a Corona, some vodka… good day.

Fuk yeah!
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03-26-2024, 05:08 PM
#437
Mirin the snus order. Strong variety though wtf. Looks like my favourite snus is in there, the white can on the right that you can only see the side of.
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03-26-2024, 05:46 PM
#438
Originally Posted By Barteh⏩
Mirin the snus order. Strong variety though wtf. Looks like my favourite snus is in there, the white can on the right that you can only see the side of.
I like my options, either 'wake me up' or 'string me out like a tweeker', the Siberia is 43mg nicotine per pouch lol.
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03-26-2024, 05:49 PM
#439
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
I like my options, either 'wake me up' or 'string me out like a tweeker', the Siberia is 43mg nicotine per pouch lol.
Haha holy shiit 43 mg thats nuts.
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03-26-2024, 09:05 PM
#440
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
So this happened to me Sunday night, I was working A Yard SPO# 4, my regular spot and it's 2215, I'm just running paperwork to the buildings and using the golf cart because fck walking. I finish and go to turn the cart to head back to the Program office, I turn the wheel on the golf cart all the way to the left and hit the gas. A Yard has possibly the fastest cart in the prison, not sure why, it just is. As I slam the gas I learn centrifugal force is a bitch, there was so much momentum that I slid from the driver side across the seat to the passenger side and kept right on sliding; I got flung off the cart due to the force, landed on my ass on the track and the cart rolled off. I just sat there a minute, looked around, no one saw it! Good! That sht was embarrassing. When my partners asked why I was limping later I just told them don't worry about why my ass was sore, no questions on 1/w!
lmao was this on camera?
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03-26-2024, 10:12 PM
#441
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
lmao was this on camera?
Yes, but since there was no alarm it wasn't something they can technically 'look up' so I'm good. I do look forward to being on the highlight reel in training of 'sht not to do' but that's always funny.
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03-27-2024, 06:07 PM
#442
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
I like my options, either 'wake me up' or 'string me out like a tweeker', the Siberia is 43mg nicotine per pouch lol.
The one I like is Oden's cold extreme. At 22mg that's enough for me lol, already considered super strong.

I've considered getting those Siberia ones but I feel like getting those might ruin all other snus for me so I'd rather hold off.
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03-28-2024, 12:53 AM
#443
Originally Posted By Barteh⏩
The one I like is Oden's cold extreme. At 22mg that's enough for me lol, already considered super strong.

I've considered getting those Siberia ones but I feel like getting those might ruin all other snus for me so I'd rather hold off.
It did wreck my tolerance, but took a few weeks on lower dose and back to 8-16mg pouches.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.

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03-29-2024, 10:34 AM
#444
Working C Yard as an SPO and just escorting a Bulldog (gang) back to the building, I radio to ask if their dayroom is clear and they say yes; Bulldogs and Southerners have been at each other non-stop so this is important. Anyways I walk into the building and uncuff the guy, no problems, we've been BSing the walk from medical back to the building, dude is cool enough with me. He starts to walk to his cell and a door opens up, guess the porter capped his door (to keep it from shutting) and the staff didn't check it, porter is a Southerner and he rushes the Bulldog and starts stabbing the fck out of him.

I yell "Motherfcker, get down!", I spray, both floor cops spray, no effect this Southerner is going ham, the booth cop shoots him in the ass with the 40mm and that stops him; maybe 30 seconds and he got over 20 stabs in. Bulldog ended up going out in an ambulance but was back that night, no vitals hit surprisingly; went back to the same building even lol. I escorted him back that night, he asked me if it was for sure clear that time, told him buddy I thought it was clear the first time, so best of luck.
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04-14-2024, 07:05 PM
#445
Well sht, guess we're back.

So I'm working in D building 3, and we have this porter, everyone called him Junior. This guy can fight, not just fight but beat ass like a champ. Junior is waiting for his phone call, he'd signed up for a 1500 phone slot, but the guy on the phone wont get off; my partner and I see Junior yell at the guy, who then flips Junior off. Wrong move, Junior hits the guy and one shot KOs him, then Junior starts saying he's sorry and tries to wake the guy up, dude's out cold.

We just walked over and called for medical, guy ended up waking up later fine, but he learned a hard life lesson, don't fck with Junior.
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