Obligatory, this happened Monday.

Since COVID is still a thing, there's no one on my floor because their jobs are all remote WFH. Mine isn't because I gotta check on the server boxes and unplug and replug wires from time to time. Yeah, so I'm in the office, right?

Usually, there's people to shoot the **** with, things to do, etc.

Now, there isn't and well, I get bored. I get bored A LOT.

So, for approximately for the last 5 months, I've been wearing a vibrating butt-plug and bringing some of my toys to work to masturbate and enjoy my self.

My reasoning is that **** it - boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, so I will wank on company time.

So, I go ahead and do the usual rituals - whip out my tablet, load up some MILF videos and go to town.

Mind you, this is an open office and I'm the only one in the sea of empty chairs and there are only 2 ways to enter the floor - one of which was never used pre-pandemic so I think I'm in the clear if I face the door that is used (about 40 feet away from me).

So, I work myself up, and start doing the do. I'm getting all hot and bothered, stroking my tool (2.5"x4" hard) and making my way to a galactic size splooge, and then I hear a loud voice behind me "HEY STEVE, WHAT'S UP?"

Startled, I turn around immediately without thinking to face the direction where the voice is coming from AND it's my BOSS!

OH ****ING ****. Unbeknownst to me, he's snuck in through the back door! My cock goes limp immediately and shrivels back into my pants.

Luckily, he doesn't even see a thing and he's about 5 feet away from me at this point. He comes up and daps me up (I smear my cock hand on his - lel) and we chat. My fly is down the whole time with my pulsating cock slowly making its way into its cave.

He chats for 15 minutes, goes grabs something from his cabinet and bids me farewell and leaves.

My heart beat goes from about 300 bpm back down to 80 bpm and I finish my wank about an hour later.

tldr; My micropenis saved me from being fired from work.

Dasit mane

Imagine coming online to shoot the chit with the boys and crack jokes and just have an overall good time and then some witless virgin comes out of the woodwork threatening to destroy your professional life for no reason.

And these ppl wonder why they have zero irl relationships lmao I was like lmao

Das it!

Watched a video of two people executed yesterday. So theres that.

Everyone is CEO 10k/day stock brokers now

Like, state execution, or those people in the video getting shot?

When will it be my turn

was that selfie of Brad shopped? (ded fkn Srs)

Well at least you are still here..

(Ded fkn srs)

welcome back brah

(ded fkn Srs)


not gonna lie this place has felt pretty low energy

Seems kinda somber round here.


In other news I have been cutting for the past 4 weeks and am down a solid 13 lbs.

So that's neat I guess