basically in the modern world with all the hurt it's pretty easy to be Codependent with how things can get when you're alone, most will break up and most get back together because of this which is only normal when trying to realize sometimes things are better when you work things out with someone you care about instead of finding another

now on the other hand Stockholm syndrome can come into play too for mostly the same reason as above at least for one side of the relationship

Yeah, its just her way of coping with the fact that the top 10% of men dont commit to all the women they are fuking. "Oh, its not that im not good enough, he just has attachment issues".

Not really Rachel, he just doesnt want to commit to you, you are the problem, you arent good enough. Nothing to do with "emotional availability" or "attachment issues". That may be true for like 1% of the cases, when the man is absolutely in love with the woman yet he still goes his own way because he has some severe trauma that prevents him from bonding, but thats an extremely rare scenario.


In reality, most people stay together when they REALLY like each other. Shes just proyecting a real small % of attachment issues onto the vast majority of people that cant get a relationship.

We live in a world where its easier to say to a person "well, he/she had issues and isnt ready for you", rather than "you are 200 lbs rachel, maybe thats why he just wanted to fuk you once and then never call you again". Of course you cant openly say **** like that IRL anymore, and you have to feed people bull**** like this one article.

It's over if you didn't peak in high school

Here is a summary of attachment theory for anyone interested. Attachment theory is a real scientific thing, and it's not just about dating, it's about a person's ability to form meaningful relationships and bonds of any kind and underlies a lot of psychological and personality disorders. Basically, there are three types of psychological types of attachments that people seek out based on their childhood relationship to their parents, and then a 4th which is totally f-ed up because it is a combination of the two types of insecure attachments at the same time.

Normal people formsecureattachments. These are people who got the proper nurturing from their parents and are able to both trust other people and recognize their own self-worth in interpersonal relationships with others. People withanxiousattachment style usually suffer from some type of childhood neglect and doubt their own self-worth. Therefore, they define themselves through their relationships with others. They typically have abandonment issues and are very worried about their partners cheating and can be very clingy because losing their relationship is a devastating experience.Avoidantattachment style is usually grounded in some type of childhood abuse, and avoidant people do not trust others to form deep bonds. In relationships, they can be promiscuous and change partners often. In severe cases, avoidant insecurity can manifest as narcissism since the person does not trust or care about others.

The worst isfearful-avoidant, which is rooted in severe childhood trauma and incorporates both anxious (no self-worth) and avoidant (don't trust others) insecurities at the same time. Fearful-avoidant people both seek to define their self-worth through their relationships AND cannot trust others to form meaningful bonds, so they are in a constant cycle of seeking out meaningful relationships and at the same time rejecting those people. Fearful-avoidant insecurity is what most often underlies borderline personality disorder and can lead to splitting and extreme risk taking behavior and in the extreme, pseudo-psychotic breaks.

^Can you cliff the solutions for non-secure people ?

dogs and dildos ftw

I gave no solutions.