For better explanation, read "attached" by Rachel heller.

TLDR; most "secure" people pair bond in HS/ college. If you didn't pair bond then, your chances of finding a mate capable of pair bo ding is slim, unless you meet a secure who got out of a LTR.

Past this point, avoidant attached people are the MOST abundant in the pool. Literally people that subconsciously run away when their partners get too close. They do this by cheating/ sabotaging/ being emotionally unavailable, basically all of the behavior that makes men & women bitter about dating.

avoidant dissmissives are naturally attractive becauses they have a natural push-pull cycle.

Most seduction community stuff is written by avoidant dissmissive men (explaining how to act avoidant dissmissive) so you can pick up avoidant dissmissive women.

Strong copium OP

cool beanz

Can confirm. Trying to work on not sabotaging things..

Meh this completely ignores the fact that many educated women tune out dating for much of their 20s and hop back in towards late 20s early 30s and pair with similarly professionally driven (often nerdy) men. That's probably the majority of relationships I see.

Another incel theory, interesting

This kind of does explain dating for me in my late 20's early 30's. I "succeeded" because pulling back was just so natural for me due to many years of child abuse which caused me to start to bail any time I felt someone was getting "too close". Of course, the girls I was dating also had similar issues, which essentially guaranteed that none of those relationships were ever going to work out.

Pair bonding doesn't exist in humans. The sooner you accept that reality, the better off you'll be.

I got married in my early 20's and it didn't mean chit for the success of my failed married. Some of the most brutal divorce stories I've ever heard about IRL involved a guy getting dumped by his wife of 10+ years who was his HS or college sweetheart back in the day.

If you read anything about avoidant dissmissives, you will see that they:

- avoid or can't maintain LTR in most of their 20s and 30s, and instead focus on their careers or hobbies

- avoidant + avoidant relationships don't work out, avoidants typically pair up with anxious attachment styles (needy, nerdy) men

Do they state any solutions in the book ?

Where the fuk are these professional women at. I never meet any of them srs.

The girls I knew in Texas getting great educations were married by 25 at the latest.

Pair bonding certainly existed in my grandparents generation.

But then again, society wasn't fully clowned, and most people held family values and were god-fearing.

Yes

I didn’t have any friends or dates in high school. I worked and idk grew up fast. Everyone was dating and it depressed me some. It was my fear to like go to the cafeteria or restaurant by myself but I grew out of it and became a loner. Now it’s hard for me to connect with people. I find myself using woven for sex or talking to numerous females. I lie to males. Don’t trust baby people and I think it does have something to do with my life r if a life In high school.

Wtf so can you post cliffs ?

No I'm lazy AF.

You can find the book for free on pdfdrive . Com

Attachment theory basically states our ability or inability to maintain relationships is due to early childhood experiences, or early experiences in relationships, so this makes sense.

I think therapy is too feminine based to help most men though

or women just had so many dinks rammed up all of their orifaces that they are emotionally unable to bond with others. and that's correlated with age. or bond with the wrong people and are just left jaded.

same for men to that phuck every women in sight, but to a much lesser degree bc it's less of an emotional thing.

Yeah but in reality most of these people have high IQ, good communication skills, very low divorce rates, multiple kids, and seemingly happy home lives. I work at a large law firm, this is literally 90%+ of all of the women and maybe half the men over the age of 35+.

Therapy is for stupid people. I got sent to this rehab for alcohol and violence and these people talk to you like you are stupid. They are so dumb that they had to go to school to learn what is normal and not normal. I’d be like bish you are the one who isn’t normal talking to me stuff you read out of a book. They would be like showing signs of anger and try to relate it to a childhood memory or some stupid crap. Let’s write about it. No let’s not! Weirdest thing ever is they violate the hell out if you there abd for the first few days nurses follow you everywhere. The first few days I had fat male nurses watching her poop and shower and my dink was shriveled a bit but like I finally relaxes and some hot ass blind nurse walked in and said she had to be in the room while I showered. I knew she liked it and one day she actually joined me in the shower. We did as much as we could in the time needed but I needed it. Those people are flipping strange though. I felt like I was really in a nazi camp. It’s like that movie where the normal guy is in the nut house but no matter what you say they are like maybe you need more meds or just are trained to not believe you. I’d honestly like to make a movie out of it. It was similiar to that university of Stanford tjing where they toon the play too far. These people took their jobs too far and it’s crazy. I managed to trade all medicine for peoples protein. I don’t know what they were giving people but they were walking around like zombies. One guy was sleep walking butt naked around one day during the day and this is a mix of men and women. I managed to get the ge m out of therd

Nah, its just hypergamy and feminism. In a society where women dont need men, they have to be then with the men they actuallywant, aka the top 10%. 30 years ago most men would get to be on the category of "needed", to one degree or another. Nowadays 2022, no men are really needed.

Since all women want the same small % of men, we have current clown world which is a very select group of dudes pumping and dumping a very high % of the women, women that would otherwise had been a very good wife/mother if only they had a bit more self awareness and proper care and guidance by her parents.



This is it.

On spread with you as usual, m8.

Damn. Absolutely nailed it yet again on this topic.

Avoidant dissmissives are the only attachment style that move on/detach because of their views of an idealized partner that doesn't exist, or previous partner that they now look at with rose tinted glasses.

Again, all of the bad traits that men complain about can be grouped into those that fall under the dissmissive avoidant category.

On spread. I'm seeing this in real time with my pathetic foray in online dating.

I feel like the people in this thread are making things complicated for themselves.

The truth is you don’t have to label yourself as some category and arbitrarily limit yourself. You can opt to play the game in a wholesome way. What’s that? You attract people to you by making them feel so good they want to keep coming back. Remember, every time you get a little bit better, that’s one less reason for someone to say no and one more reason for them to stay.

I think this positive growth outlook is very fun.

OPie literally told us to read something written by a woman

wow

I just realized OP's thing here was written by a woman.

Now I regret having wasted my time putting any thought into this at all.

Imagine taking dating/relationship advice from a woman in the current year, just lmao.

Also, the bitch WAY overcomplicated it. Sloots gonna sloot; that's literally all you need to know. Srs.

i fk 18y/o transitioning cute femboys absolutely no LTR or connection needed

its quite liberating srs lol

clean angus entry on demand srs

Attachment theory was actually theorized by a man, John Bowlby.

It may be difficult to understand, but sometimes other people write summaries of other people's research.

It’s funny you said this. My job just hired a diversity manager who makes like 100000 grand a year and they are putting up tons of crap online about hiring women workers and blah blah and meanwhile they just erased my position and laid off 90 people. I feel sick to my stomach. I saw someone commented really under the post. Soneone will probably shoot this place up