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Forum » Sick of going to my girlfriends family events
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Thread: Sick of going to my girlfriends family events

post 1675255013 01-18-2023, 07:53 AM
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#31
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Im in the same boat and it is bothering me a ton bro.
My GF and her family do everything together. Shes obsessed with her Brothers two kids and being an aunt. wants to be at every event, every party, every get together. they live an hour away.
Weve talked a bunch and this is our biggest and pretty much our only area of conflict but it is forever present. She makes an effort to see mine but i cant help but feel annoyed/frustrated with her need to always be around her family when she can.

Currently 6 months in and trying to decide if its worth continuing or if this is a deal breaker. Sucks because shes amazing in every other way
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post 1675255243 01-18-2023, 07:55 AM
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#32
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Damn the sick western culture has really made you all isolated and alone, and even crave it huh lol. What else do you have to do is life but spend time making memories with others? Sit at home and watch TV? Play games?
post 1675255403 01-18-2023, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted By FlexLex⏩
Im in the same boat and it is bothering me a ton bro.
My GF and her family do everything together. Shes obsessed with her Brothers two kids and being an aunt. wants to be at every event, every party, every get together. they live an hour away.
Weve talked a bunch and this is our biggest and pretty much our only area of conflict but it is forever present. She makes an effort to see mine but i cant help but feel annoyed/frustrated with her need to always be around her family when she can.

Currently 6 months in and trying to decide if its worth continuing or if this is a deal breaker. Sucks because shes amazing in every other way
Imagine not realizing its because she wants a kid of her own. No matter what she says this is how shes expressing it.
post 1675255623 01-18-2023, 07:59 AM
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I actually prefer one or two family events a year that are extended, like a weekend trip or some sh!t. Hate having to drive an hour and a half to hang out, catch a buzz, then everyone is rushing out. At that point just do a Zoom call.
post 1675255833 01-18-2023, 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted By DustinTheHuss⏩
Middle Easterns are the worst. Their family will literally be over at your house every night. I don’t know how Americans can marry into that culture.
As an introvert that sounds terrible.


Op you sound weak tbh. I think a man with balls would tell her to sit down somewhere.
post 1675255943 01-18-2023, 08:02 AM
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how about you grow a pair and say no...f@gg0t
Cherish your life. Live to tell your story
post 1675256043 01-18-2023, 08:03 AM
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Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
I'd break up with her now if it already bothers you 5 years into it, because it's never going to change.

That was something that always royally pissed me off about being married. She'd do chit like go crash with per parents randomly and leave me to come home to an empty home at 6am in the mornings after working 17-hour double shifts at work and stuff, would randomly have her sister over to crash, her mother would randomly come crash at our place for a week or two at a time with zero notice to me, etc.

Oh, and if I was ever annoyed by any of it, I was the assssshole. Plus we never had any time for *my* family, having them iver or us going over to see them was alwags a big pita for her and she was very vocal to me about it.

Also, in my experience, most in-laws are a huge pita in general. They'll give you hugs and tell you "you're part of the family" to your face when you see them in person. Meanwhile, behind your back it's another story entirely, nothing but them trying to undercut your relationship/marriage at every turn.
hmmm
post 1675256173 01-18-2023, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted By CrimsonSteel⏩
I actually prefer one or two family events a year that are extended, like a weekend trip or some sh!t. Hate having to drive an hour and a half to hang out, catch a buzz, then everyone is rushing out. At that point just do a Zoom call.
This would be ideal instead of rushing around all weekend long with no time to relax.
post 1675256183 01-18-2023, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted By ChknFrydMFer⏩
Bill Burr has balls. OP is a weak spineless coward LOL.
post 1675256343 01-18-2023, 08:07 AM
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#40
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Originally Posted By SilEightySX⏩
sometimes i just prefer to be on my own, comfort in solitude
Yes we have all been through this and your get out of jail free card is that you feel sickly and don't want to give them Covid.
This will narrow down the number of weekend obligations .
There is an unspoken thing, we are iron brothers and sisters, we are to support each other and...It is our duty to support our brothers and sisters in the iron game!
post 1675256353 01-18-2023, 08:07 AM
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#41
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Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
I'd break up with her now if it already bothers you 5 years into it, because it's never going to change.

That was something that always royally pissed me off about being married. She'd do chit like go crash with per parents randomly and leave me to come home to an empty home at 6am in the mornings after working 17-hour double shifts at work and stuff, would randomly have her sister over to crash, her mother would randomly come crash at our place for a week or two at a time with zero notice to me, etc.

Oh, and if I was ever annoyed by any of it, I was the assssshole. Plus we never had any time for *my* family, having them iver or us going over to see them was alwags a big pita for her and she was very vocal to me about it.

Also, in my experience, most in-laws are a huge pita in general. They'll give you hugs and tell you "you're part of the family" to your face when you see them in person. Meanwhile, behind your back it's another story entirely, nothing but them trying to undercut your relationship/marriage at every turn.
lmao tl;dr you got involved with someone who was clearly a POS who didnt respect you, from a family of POS who dont respect others.
post 1675256693 01-18-2023, 08:11 AM
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My in laws are all in Poland. Honestly wish that they all lived closeby though. I love big family gatherings. We had them all the time when everyone on my side of the family still lived close by. Less often now that people live far away, but having one of those per month was GOAT
post 1675256823 01-18-2023, 08:12 AM
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#43
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Just say no.
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post 1675258453 01-18-2023, 08:28 AM
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My pops sat all us boys down when we were young and said "Just remember, when you marry a girl, you marry the family". That always stuck with me. If you can't stand the family, you gotta nip it in the bud tbh
post 1675259483 01-18-2023, 08:40 AM
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That sounds horrible. I visit my parents maybe once every 3 weeks and a lot of the time that's way too much, too. You can tell people don't have much new to talk about so they just run over the same convos the last few times.

Bottom line is if you have no real reason to visit, talk, etc. Then whytf bother? It's like calling someone to chat when you have nothing to talk about so you're just wasting everyone's time
post 1675260633 01-18-2023, 08:53 AM
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Phuck, I know these feels. My gf is latina and is obsessed with her family. They're good people but it gets annoying. Brb she has to facetime them 2-3 times per day, visit them once a week, etc.
post 1675263633 01-18-2023, 09:21 AM
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I'm not even in a relationship but I have friends with babies who invite me to their kid's bday parties.
post 1675269823 01-18-2023, 10:17 AM
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my GF gives me the option, but there are some events that she absolutely expects me to go to, like weddings.

Despite giving me the option, I know deep down she resents me when I say no, even though on the outside she seems fine. I couldn't care less though.

That being said, i fukking hate going to some of her family events, especially the ones where there's a bunch of kids running around. Her family also doesn't seem to have anything exciting to talk about. Typical sheltered "proper" white people who don't swear and do everything by the book (think Ned Flanders from the Simpsons). I feel like I always have to be on my best behavior and its exhausting.
post 1675273703 01-18-2023, 10:50 AM
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#49
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Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
Yeah yeah, I've heard it a thousand times before: everything is always the man's fault anytime something goes wrong in a relationship/marriage, and the woman is never to blame for anything no matter what. Try telling me something guys don't hear endlessly after getting divorced.
fukking lmao you sound like a woman. Guess what its half your fault, and 100% of that half of your fault. Meaning you chose to get into a relationship with all the red flags and chose to marry her. Of course shes to blame for her own behavior, but youre to blame for being with her.
post 1675274343 01-18-2023, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted By SazabiBrah⏩
Phuck, I know these feels. My gf is latina and is obsessed with her family. They're good people but it gets annoying. Brb she has to facetime them 2-3 times per day, visit them once a week, etc.
Lol I heard that's one reason to stay away from Latinas; non-stop cookouts, family gatherings, quinceaneras and chit lol. My sister-in-law is like 1/4 Hispanic and her extended family has like 14 cousins so they are always doing chit and my brother hates it. So do all the other white men in the family lol
post 1675274443 01-18-2023, 10:56 AM
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#51
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Originally Posted By gycraig⏩
Just don’t go ? I’m not connected to my wife at the hip she can spend as much time with her family as she wants but I’ll do once a month max mostly, I’ll happily sit upstairs on my computer when her family are here no ****s given.

Fk me develop some boundaries.
The only right answer ITT.

Meanwhile everyone else

"She's a bad GF"

"Yeah it's not going to work, just leave her"

"Yeah my wife/gf/ex does that too! Women suck"

Holy fuark, I'm amazed that people like this get into relationships. No wonder dating sucks.
post 1675274963 01-18-2023, 11:01 AM
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I find it hard especially with bigger families. Lots of siblings, lots of kids and there's always something going on. As adults (talking my entire family,) we pick and choose the events we want to attend to and honestly...no one cares or holds it against us if we decide to skip it.

So no, I don't attend every event.
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post 1675274983 01-18-2023, 11:01 AM
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I try to avoid meeting her parents and family as long as possible.
Everything I post is trash.
post 1675276833 01-18-2023, 11:18 AM
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Originally Posted By Voidgaze⏩
The only right answer ITT.

Meanwhile everyone else

"She's a bad GF"

"Yeah it's not going to work, just leave her"

"Yeah my wife/gf/ex does that too! Women suck"

Holy fuark, I'm amazed that people like this get into relationships. No wonder dating sucks.
Yeah, your life experiences and the opinions you form as a result of them must just be more valid than those of others.
post 1675276983 01-18-2023, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted By DustinTheHuss⏩
It’s worse when you marry into other cultures like Mexicans, Greeks, Middle Eastern, etc.
Wife is Polynesian but entire family is half way around the globe, so don't know those feels.
"Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars" - Evel Knievel
post 1675277243 01-18-2023, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
Yeah, your life experiences must just be more valid than those of others.
My life experience doesn't matter here. It's Healthy Relationship Communication 101, which can be applied to ALL relationships...

-Set boundaries
-Communicate your issue

The "just don't go" advice is just exercising choice, which OP should have.
post 1675278123 01-18-2023, 11:28 AM
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#57
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Lol miscers are so miserable.
This fool's running a Honda 2000
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post 1675278283 01-18-2023, 11:29 AM
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Yea that always drives me insane. So many people are just incapable of being alone with their own thoughts. Add in huge families that are all close to each other and it gets ridiculous. My last ex had more family functions in 3 months than I have in 5 years. Birthdays, random dinners, confirmations, new years, thanksgiving, grandma coming in from another country, a cousin going off to college, it was absolutely ridiculous.

I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents had people over at our house for a party/event from the time I was born until when I moved out at 26, and still have fingers left over.

Don’t even get me started on the constant group text chains with 20 people in them, phone calls, FaceTimes etc. I guess that’s why several of my exes wanted me to share my location with them at all times and got mad when I said no. “But what if I don’t know where you are?” Uhh that’s the point babe. I don’t need people around me/knowing where I am/contacting me all the damn time.
post 1675278813 01-18-2023, 11:34 AM
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#59
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Originally Posted By FastBack6⏩
So many people are just incapable of being alone with their own thoughts
This x1000

I could be alone all day and be fine

I guess I'm the odd man out though

When you can be alone and be happy that's fukin POWERFUL
Journal: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=139898123&page=240
post 1675281133 01-18-2023, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted By dopamine72⏩
This x1000

I could be alone all day and be fine

I guess I'm the odd man out though

When you can be alone and be happy that's fukin POWERFUL
My gf doesn't understand this. I'll be perfectly ok just chillin on the couch in silence and it's like she constantly wants to have a conversation.

Not everything needs a conversation.
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