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» Dad jokes itt
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post 1678782053 03-11-2023, 03:16 PM
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#31
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  3. Join Date: Sep 2011
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Got my dink into the Guinness World Record book the other day.

Spoiler!
The Librarian told me to get it out and leave
post 1678782123 03-11-2023, 03:18 PM
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#32
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  3. Join Date: Sep 2011
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Originally Posted By desslok
When does a regular joke become a dad joke?




When the punchline becomes a parent
Spoiler!
when it says it's going to the shops to buy some cigarettes and never comes back
post 1678782243 03-11-2023, 03:22 PM
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#33
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  1. Mulloway69
  2. (;`ー´)o/ ̄ ̄ ̄~>°)))彡
  3. Join Date: Sep 2011
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What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter

Spoiler!
Irrelephant
post 1678782403 03-11-2023, 03:26 PM
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#34
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  3. Join Date: Aug 2012
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Originally Posted By Mulloway69
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter

Spoiler!
Irrelephant
On r/c breh, lmao!
I loe e.
post 1678782433 03-11-2023, 03:27 PM
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#35
  1. Mr.PissShivers
  2. Shiverin' since '92
  1. Mr.PissShivers
  2. Shiverin' since '92
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I just got a new job circumcising elephants at the circus...The pay is lousy but I get a lot of big tips.
OLD MOVIE CREW
post 1678786143 03-11-2023, 04:47 PM
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#36
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
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What did one hat say to another hat?


You stay here, I’ll go on a head.
I loe e.
post 1678786723 03-11-2023, 04:59 PM
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#37
  1. stevebrule
  2. Registered Hunk
  1. stevebrule
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Have you guys heard the latest trend guys are doing? Apparently they are putting glitter on their balls...







...It's pretty nuts.
post 1678787503 03-11-2023, 05:16 PM
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#38
  1. ezmac31
  1. ezmac31
  2. Join Date: Jun 2009
  3. Location: Michigan, United States
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What does an annoying pepper do?



















Gets Jalapeño face!
post 1678787713 03-11-2023, 05:19 PM
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#39
  1. niospecv
  2. I mean yeah...
  1. niospecv
  2. I mean yeah...
  3. Join Date: Mar 2006
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How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a boogie in it.

aight, I'm out.
**Texas Crew**
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**Dallas Cowboys Fan Crew**
post 1678787893 03-11-2023, 05:22 PM
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#40
  1. Paul Kreul
  2. Registered User
  1. Paul Kreul
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What do you call a pony with a sore throat?



A little hoarse
post 1678791413 03-11-2023, 06:26 PM
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#41
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
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How did bill cosby get all those women?




Netflix and pills.
I loe e.
post 1678792143 03-11-2023, 06:40 PM
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#42
  1. EdwardTheGreat
  2. Registered User
  1. EdwardTheGreat
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Where did the king keep his armies?



































In his sleevies.
post 1678792233 03-11-2023, 06:42 PM
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#43
  1. EdwardTheGreat
  2. Registered User
  1. EdwardTheGreat
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Did you hear about the antennas that got married?
































The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.
post 1678792303 03-11-2023, 06:43 PM
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#44
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
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Tyrone is the only black kid in his 4th grade class. One day during recess him, and his class mates mostly white, some Hispanic, and a few Asians all decide to pull their junk out and see who had the biggest one. Tyrone wins by a mile. After school he runs home excitedly and tells his father, “Dad I have the biggest dick in my class!!!!!!” His father says, “Well of course you do son you’re 17.”
post 1678792383 03-11-2023, 06:45 PM
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#45
  1. ezmac31
  1. ezmac31
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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?



Dam.
post 1678794603 03-11-2023, 07:24 PM
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#46
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
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One of my favorites mentioned


What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear



What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Hell if I know
post 1678794783 03-11-2023, 07:28 PM
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#47
  1. Dogkrack
  2. Banned
  1. Dogkrack
  2. Banned
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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
post 1678796253 03-11-2023, 07:50 PM
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#48
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  1. Redfish225
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Originally Posted By Dogkrack
whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
Nope, lol
I loe e.
post 1678800843 03-11-2023, 09:16 PM
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#49
  1. Mr.PissShivers
  2. Shiverin' since '92
  1. Mr.PissShivers
  2. Shiverin' since '92
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I went to the wailing wall yesterday...stood there with my harpoon like an idiot.
OLD MOVIE CREW
post 1678809603 03-12-2023, 02:14 AM
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#50
  1. Samraiwise
  2. 🥋 A Karate Kid age 65 🔥
  1. Samraiwise
  2. 🥋 A Karate Kid age 65 🔥
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

🌺 Lauren Brooks Kelly (snailsrus) - Jul 25, 1991 – Jan 29, 2022
Thread: RIP Snails : https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=181070293&page=100

⭐ Samurai Break: 140kg(308lb) Failed Bench Press Recovery Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8eIkpZ29u0
⭐ Over 35 Journals > Samurai, Without Ever Having Felt Sorry For Itself:
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=4832373&page=200
📌 Please Call me Kaz, a 65-year-old 🥋 Karate Kid in Tokyo.
post 1678810213 03-12-2023, 02:57 AM
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#51
  1. Firas3
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  1. Firas3
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Never blame someone else for the road you're on.
It's you're own asphalt.
post 1678811483 03-12-2023, 05:07 AM
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#52
  1. 7empest
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  1. 7empest
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did you hear what happened to the blind circumciser?



he got the sack
Overthinking, overanalysing separates the body from the mind
post 1678834383 03-12-2023, 03:11 PM
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#53
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
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What did the egg say to the boiling water?

Don’t get me hard I just got laid
post 1678870933 03-13-2023, 08:11 AM
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#54
  1. niospecv
  2. I mean yeah...
  1. niospecv
  2. I mean yeah...
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what did the cholo say to the houses that fell on him?

Get off me homes!!!
**Texas Crew**
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post 1678872273 03-13-2023, 08:43 AM
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#55
  1. NitrogenWidget
  1. NitrogenWidget
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Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

I found a wooden shoe in the toilet. It was clogged.

Guess what?
chickenbutt
post 1678873983 03-13-2023, 09:25 AM
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#56
  1. Muzzlrpress
  1. Muzzlrpress
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Why can't you see elephants hiding in trees?

They're good at it.




What did the little boy say when the elephant was coming over the hill?
Hey, here comes the elephant!

What did the little boy say when the elephant came over the hill wearing sunglasses?
Nothing. He didn't recognize him.
I'm back, bitches!
post 1678879383 03-13-2023, 11:18 AM
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#57
  1. 7empest
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  1. 7empest
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an atom walks into a bar and says to the barman : "I think I've lost an electron"

the barman replies : "are you sure?"

the atom replies : "yeah, i'm positive"
Overthinking, overanalysing separates the body from the mind
post 1678879843 03-13-2023, 11:27 AM
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#58
  1. xxAchillesxx
  1. xxAchillesxx
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Doctors just discovered a rare disease that keeps you up at night, and instead of sleeping, all you do is eat.


It's called insom-nom-nom-nomnia.
"The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed."

See OptimusTrajan' sig
post 1678880843 03-13-2023, 11:47 AM
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#59
  1. beebell12
  2. Registered User
  1. beebell12
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Lmao
post 1678900033 03-13-2023, 06:03 PM
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#60
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
  1. Redfish225
  2. Hunter/Fisherbreh
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What did 50 cent do when he was hungry?















58
I loe e.
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