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Forum » Dad jokes itt
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Thread: Dad jokes itt

post 1678771903 03-11-2023, 12:13 PM
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Dad jokes itt

What do you call fake spaghetti?


Im-pasta
I loe e.
post 1678772523 03-11-2023, 12:24 PM
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#2
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In. I know misc boomers have been waiting to drop their joke collection.
post 1678772623 03-11-2023, 12:26 PM
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What do you call a man with a shovel on this head?

Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel on this head?

Douglas.
post 1678772813 03-11-2023, 12:30 PM
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What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?




A carrot.
I loe e.
post 1678772943 03-11-2023, 12:33 PM
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Knock knock...



Who's there?




Lettuce......




Lettuce who?






Lettuce in.
post 1678772963 03-11-2023, 12:34 PM
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2 time survivor of The Great Misc Outages of 2022

Survivor of PHP/API Outage of Feb 2023
post 1678772973 03-11-2023, 12:34 PM
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Adele makes good music that is highly enjoyable to listen to.
post 1678773043 03-11-2023, 12:36 PM
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When does a regular joke become a dad joke?




When the punchline becomes a parent
2 time survivor of The Great Misc Outages of 2022

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post 1678773053 03-11-2023, 12:36 PM
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I once mistook my protien powder for a packet of 'Just for Men' & drank it.

I dyed inside.
post 1678773113 03-11-2023, 12:36 PM
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#10
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What do you do if your horse is wobbling around?

You take him to the stable.

That's a G-G Grandfather joke.
post 1678773733 03-11-2023, 12:50 PM
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#11
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I just heard that the company who produces yard sticks won't make them any longer.




Out of all the inventions in the last decade, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.
2017 OCB Men's Physique Open 4th place
17 MP Novice 4th
18 MP Novice 5th
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19 BB open 3rd
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19 BB 40+1st..50+1st...3rd Pro Card
21 BB 40+1st..50+1st..Open 5th..4th Card
post 1678774463 03-11-2023, 01:03 PM
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Did you hear about NASA sending turtles to space?

Spoiler!
it turned out to be a turtle-failure
post 1678774593 03-11-2023, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted By desslok⏩
I loe e.
post 1678774723 03-11-2023, 01:07 PM
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Why didn’t T-Boz from TLC never exfoliate her skin?




She didn’t want no scrubs.
I loe e.
post 1678774833 03-11-2023, 01:08 PM
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why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

so they don't get mistaken for feminists



why are there no feminists in Japan?

cause they hunt whales over there
Overthinking, overanalysing separates the body from the mind
post 1678774953 03-11-2023, 01:09 PM
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.
Screw nature; my body will do what I DAMN WELL tell it to do!

The only dangerous thing about an exercise is the person doing it.

They had the technology to rebuild me. They made me better, stronger, faster......
post 1678775123 03-11-2023, 01:12 PM
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My son’s fourth birthday was today. When he came to see me, I didn’t recognize him at first. I had never seen him be four.



A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
MR.PHF '09

“Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them.”- Don Quixote

''damn right I like the life I live

'Cause I went from negative to positive

And it's allGood..."


"friends come and go but enemies accumulate"


< H.T.C Till I D.I.E >
"Zero tolerance Crew" ZERO, NADA !!!!
post 1678775523 03-11-2023, 01:17 PM
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I have a joke about pizza, but I'm afraid you'd find it too cheesy.
OLD MOVIE CREW
post 1678775553 03-11-2023, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted By desslok⏩
When does a regular joke become a dad joke?




When the punchline becomes a parent
Also when it's full-groan
post 1678776023 03-11-2023, 01:29 PM
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I’m dying, lmao
I loe e.
post 1678776533 03-11-2023, 01:38 PM
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why are jews' noses so big

because air is free xD
post 1678776793 03-11-2023, 01:43 PM
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My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records....But then the librarian told me to take it out.



Did you know Darth Vader has a sister? Her name is Ella...Ella Vader


Speaking of Darth Vader...How does Darth Vader like his toast? A little on the dark side.
In Hoots We Trust.
post 1678778253 03-11-2023, 02:10 PM
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I once dated a girl in isis.



She was the bomb.
I loe e.
post 1678778333 03-11-2023, 02:11 PM
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Originally Posted By Mr.PissShivers⏩
I have a joke about pizza, but I'm afraid you'd find it too cheesy.
I also have a joke about a straw, but it sucks.
OLD MOVIE CREW
post 1678778793 03-11-2023, 02:20 PM
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How does a wizard please his wife? Elixir
post 1678780753 03-11-2023, 02:48 PM
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#26
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How do you cut the ocean in half?




With a sea saw.
I loe e.
post 1678780843 03-11-2023, 02:50 PM
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#27
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What’s big and brown and doesn’t flush?

A grizzly bear
post 1678781183 03-11-2023, 02:56 PM
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What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
I'm back, bitches!
post 1678781623 03-11-2023, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress⏩
What's heavier, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water. Butane is a lighter fluid.
I loe e.
post 1678781813 03-11-2023, 03:11 PM
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#30
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How can you talk to a fish?
Drop it a line.
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