Much less common is someone offering a genuine hand up, some compassion, some empathy. Some people offer to help, often their intentions are good but on a more sub-concious level it is about patronizing that person and enjoying the feeling of being better than that person. A genuine, authentic helping of another soul in need is rare. It could be anyone but mostly people delight in feeling superior to the person who is down. I have been guilty of this, I think most of us have.

Myself personally, I'm a victim of my own charisma and charm... people follow me around begging for my attention, or they seek my approval, or they care so much about my acknowledgement of their existence.

So often times I've been the victim of muthaf/ckers holding me hostage in a dull conversation... or I've been the victim of muthaf/ckers throwing tantrums cause they felt I didn't give them enough attention.


I'm basically Calvin Candy from Django Unchained - a charming, charismatic intellectual who always attracts all the attention in any room....


It's just reality, mane....

He's done some questionable stuff for sure that we only found out through social media. Hanging out at gay clubs (mom brought it up to him and he said he just likes the dancing), painting his nails, He had created a separate instagram account where he was just posting selfies with those 'beautification' filters and making kiss faces...I think we as a family have kind of accepted that he might be at least bi

Thank you for your honesty.... And it ain't no thang, my brother is openly gay, so I know what it's like having a male relative that acts like a f/cking queen....

I think OP has mostly covered it and some good additions.

I'd like to add that when you are down, it happens sometimes and sometimes it happens through poor choices and other times just bad luck but it can happen to anyone.

Anyway what I am trying to say is it feels like the majority of people are all too happy to kick someone when they are down, call them loser, point out how they failed, laugh and ridicule them for it and generally find ways to make themselves feel better than the person going through a low point.

Much less common is someone offering a genuine hand up, some compassion, some empathy. Some people offer to help, often their intentions are good but on a more sub-concious level it is about patronizing that person and enjoying the feeling of being better than that person. A genuine, authentic helping of another soul in need is rare. It could be anyone but mostly people delight in feeling superior to the person who is down. I have been guilty of this, I think most of us have.

I can see how that a) makes the person feel victimized and b) makes it harder for themselves to admit their failings. Everyone has an ego and if you attack a person's ego is no surprise that they develop coping strategies for that?

That we are all here, in this place, probably means we have more in common than we have in difference. Think about the energy you put out into the world because ultimately that is what will be reflected back.

I'm sorry wincel for how I made some of my points in other threads. I wanted to make them but I could have been more compassionate in how I did that. You were either going to take them or not, how I went about it was a reflection on me. I actually agree with a lot of what you say and I think you are interesting. I think you could reflect on how you go about making your points sometimes and why you do it that way and if you did you might find you get better outcomes.

All the best everyone. We all doing our best.

If you tell every child that they are special, nobody is any better than they are etc, and people achieve better outcomes than them, it must be because somebody put their thumb on the scale. It cannot be because they are just not good enough.

If we set aside the ists and the isms, you see a huge trend of it on this forum.

"It doesn't matter if you work hard, effort isn't rewarded"
"Blah blah boomers"
"Blah blah jews"
"Anybody with money inherited it"

Etc

Becausetheycannot do something, if somebody elsecan, then something unfair happened to either hinder them or help the other person.

I think OP has mostly covered it and some good additions.

I'd like to add that when you are down, it happens sometimes and sometimes it happens through poor choices and other times just bad luck but it can happen to anyone.

Anyway what I am trying to say is it feels like the majority of people are all too happy to kick someone when they are down, call them loser, point out how they failed, laugh and ridicule them for it and generally find ways to make themselves feel better than the person going through a low point.

Much less common is someone offering a genuine hand up, some compassion, some empathy. Some people offer to help, often their intentions are good but on a more sub-concious level it is about patronizing that person and enjoying the feeling of being better than that person. A genuine, authentic helping of another soul in need is rare. It could be anyone but mostly people delight in feeling superior to the person who is down. I have been guilty of this, I think most of us have.

I can see how that a) makes the person feel victimized and b) makes it harder for themselves to admit their failings. Everyone has an ego and if you attack a person's ego is no surprise that they develop coping strategies for that?

That we are all here, in this place, probably means we have more in common than we have in difference. Think about the energy you put out into the world because ultimately that is what will be reflected back.

I'm sorry wincel for how I made some of my points in other threads. I wanted to make them but I could have been more compassionate in how I did that. You were either going to take them or not, how I went about it was a reflection on me. I actually agree with a lot of what you say and I think you are interesting. I think you could reflect on how you go about making your points sometimes and why you do it that way and if you did you might find you get better outcomes.

All the best everyone. We all doing our best.

It’s a great way to remove responsibility from yourself. And it comes at a cost. You disempower yourself, and lose agency. Those who claim you can blame others for their circumstances, while also being in charge of their futures, are stuck in a mental prison. You are only in charge of your future if your circumstances do not dictate your reaction. And that only happens when you stop wasting your time blaming others for a lot in life that you aren’t happy with.

Everyone already dropped great answers ITT.

Why won't OP give me his butthole?

The entire concept of "victimhood" acts as if people choose to be victimized. Yes, I am sure people CHOSE to be colonized, raped, murdered, etc. What a joke. Victims exist. "Victimhood" is an illusion invented by people trying to preserve the status quo of injustice, most likely because it benefits them. It is not a mindset. If you are asking why oppressed people might have a chip on their shoulder and be bitter or disillusioned, it is called "learning".

Reds still can't read. Damn!

Please. I read the whole thing. You don't get it. It's why you side with the right. It's why you defended nationalism to me once as if it is a good thing. There is no point. You're demonizing victims for learning how to be jaded to oppressors. What you should be doing is demonizing oppression.

Stop blacksplaining to Muzzl pls

Please. I read the whole thing. You don't get it. It's why you side with the right. It's why you defended nationalism to me once as if it is a good thing. There is no point. You're demonizing victims for learning how to be jaded to oppressors. What you should be doing is demonizing oppression.

Your POV:

Look at that black guy who can't afford a fukkin sandwich. He doesn't have a job. He dropped out of school. He just straight gave up on life. Victim Mentality.

Mine:

Look at that black guy. He was completely alienated and left behind by society. Society failed to support and integrate him.

Your approach picks out individuals and acts like the system is inevitable and god given -- like it wasn't designed by men to oppress people. It was! It IS! That guy is right to feel alienated. He learned to give up because he has no fuking hope! BECAUSE SOCIETY IS SICK. Don't go after the little guys. Go after the fuking system making this happen. They are products of that. Period.

The entire concept of "victimhood" acts as if people choose to be victimized. Yes, I am sure people CHOSE to be colonized, raped, murdered, etc. What a joke. Victims exist. "Victimhood" is an illusion invented by people trying to preserve the status quo of injustice, most likely because it benefits them. It is not a mindset. If you are asking why oppressed people might have a chip on their shoulder and be bitter or disillusioned, it is called "learning".

Once damage is done, can an outside force fix an individual's life for them if they don't make the effort themselves?

No

I didn't single out race, you did. This isn't about any one person, group, or race. ANYONE can adopt and be trapped by a victimhood mindset. You're missing the entire point, and none of this has anything to do with nationalism or anything else you try to tie it to. This is pure human psychology and it applies to every race, country, and gender.

You're talking past the point being made here.

If a colleague of mine is going through a nasty divorce and is highly traumatized by it, does that grant him the permission to take it out on staff at work? Shouting and yelling at them etc?

Bad things happen in life. You own what happens after, though, and abdicating any responsibility in this regard is an awful way of whitewashing all sorts of toxic behaviors and actions.

At some point, a person's life can be irreparably ruined. The goal is to help those who can still be saved. It absolutely is about race, nationality, and every other thing you can imagine. I used that as an example, but the point is there are oppressors and oppressed. What you are doing is faulting the oppressed for having the mentality one would expect if they are repeatedly oppressed...which is weird. It's like wondering why, after raping a dude in the ass 50 times, on time #51, he just bends over and lets you do it.

Your argument would hold weight if everyone who adopts this mentality has undergone horrible trauma, but the truth is that completely average people with average lives can adopt this. Everyone goes through tough things no matter where they are, and everyone has something they can potentially blame on someone else.


A dude raped in his ass 50 times is an exception, and we don't use those to prove the rule.

Tell me this; what benefit is there to the mindset of a victim?