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Forum » I use to run a cemetery/crematoria ask me anything (srs)
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Thread: I use to run a cemetery/crematoria ask me anything (srs)

post 1704858781 08-10-2024, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted By BraddlesMcGee⏩
Do ashes ever get mixed up and people get some random urn of dust?
It has happened when i was there. People arent paying attention and mix it up. It causes MASSIVE problems, chit i had to solve and face. Hence why i am no longer there, wasnt for me.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704858801 08-10-2024, 11:59 PM
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#32
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Originally Posted By GeneralSerpant⏩
How often do you think cemeteries are used to hide bodies?
Even though mine was massive, we knew every blade of grass or if something didnt look right. We knew every burial the day prior etc. If we saw something freshly dug that wasnt us, it would be called up
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704858851 08-11-2024, 12:01 AM
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#33
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Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
-Makes an AMA

-First reply is 2mins later

-22 replies over the following 2hrs

-OP replies literally 4hrs later

-Thread deserves to be buried.
Sorry man my child got really sick and had to go to the doctors on short notice.

Im here to answer any others.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704858881 08-11-2024, 12:02 AM
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#34
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Originally Posted By Bodhy⏩
OP, did you know there is a point during cremation where the meat is perfectly cooked?
At least the first 10 mins in (its at 800-900 degrees) a lot of liquid to burn first.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704858911 08-11-2024, 12:03 AM
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Originally Posted By SmackSonPissIt⏩
if you were trained by pai mei, could you punch your way out of a casket to freedom like a smack ass bish ?
Impossible. The dirt ontop can and mostly smashes the coffin if buried at the right depth and if clay is ontop. We also compact it down.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704858981 08-11-2024, 12:05 AM
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#36
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Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
Sorry man my child got really sick and had to go to the doctors on short notice.

Im here to answer any others.
All gud G

Did you like my pun?
post 1704859041 08-11-2024, 12:08 AM
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Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
All gud G

Did you like my pun?
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704859151 08-11-2024, 12:16 AM
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#38
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Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
Lmao
post 1704859811 08-11-2024, 12:52 AM
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#39
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Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
Woah WTF? Imagine the PTSD it would have caused the family and friends still there.
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post 1704859931 08-11-2024, 12:57 AM
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Originally Posted By SYKO227⏩
Woah WTF? Imagine the PTSD it would have caused the family and friends still there.
For sure, weve had something similar happen. After a burial, a pipe accidentally burst next to the grave and flooded it. Family were furious, and got a refund in the end. They were legit screaming in reception. Body was def swimming down there lol
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704860801 08-11-2024, 02:33 AM
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Are the spooks that followed you home still there?
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post 1704861391 08-11-2024, 03:46 AM
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When i was a kid the local funeral service used shredded paper to stuff into the corpses to pad them out to look outwardly normal. Is that what they used in your area? I imagine they have to tell you crematorium guys what they put into the bodies...

Is the formaldehyde in the corpse an issue for cremation? You need to flush it out, or just chuck em in the oven?

Are necrophiliacs a known issue in the industry? It's the obvious place to work if one had such proclivities.
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post 1704861401 08-11-2024, 03:47 AM
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Originally Posted By byzantine75⏩
Are the spooks that followed you home still there?
I havent seen much in ages. Basically what happened was:

1) Wife walked down our hallway because we heard a noise, thought it was our son out of bed. As shes walking down the hallway and looks into his room asleep, a person came up and whispered gibberish in her ear
2) I saw a person run into a bedroom in the corner of my eye
3) Tv turning on during the night / lights going on in the night

Felt super ghey doing this but we got a sage stick and burnt smoke all over the house, havent seen much since. Who knows.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704862031 08-11-2024, 04:53 AM
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Did you fuk all the bodies?

or only the females?

or only the hot females?
post 1704862721 08-11-2024, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted By IPoopStandingUp⏩
Did you fuk all the bodies?

or only the females?

or only the hot females?
It took phuking 44 posts for the real sht. Misc has gone soft af.
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post 1704862991 08-11-2024, 05:48 AM
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Originally Posted By jizzfarmer⏩
It took phuking 44 posts for the real sht. Misc has gone soft af.
everything changed after 2012
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post 1704863001 08-11-2024, 05:48 AM
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#47
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How many ****** did you work with?




















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post 1704876581 08-11-2024, 01:33 PM
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OP, were you the one sticking them into the oven? What did the bodies look like? How fresh were they when you got them?
post 1704884611 08-11-2024, 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted By N0rds⏩
How many ****** did you work with?




















none. actually i lie, we had one who was a facilities manager - he was funny as fk
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704885191 08-11-2024, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
OP, were you the one sticking them into the oven? What did the bodies look like? How fresh were they when you got them?
We had 2 guys who did that as a job and I oversaw them. Bodies would come in that were 24 hours dead, up to 3-4 weeks dead. All depends. Never saw the bodies as we burn the coffin/casket too. Only saw one or two every now and then, only if we found out that there were banned items in the coffin to be burnt with the body (batteries, glass etc) so we had to open it and take it out.
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704885451 08-11-2024, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
-Thread deserves to be buried.
These are the kind of puns I like. Repped.

Edit: on spread
See SuperHercules' sig
post 1704885641 08-11-2024, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
I was there for about a year, i saw nothing onsite but i had stuff follow me home unfortunately. Mostly whispers in my ear, lights turned on, TV turned on in the middle of the night etc. Staff who had been there longer would see all sorts of stuff. Taps on the shoulder, actual people walking around the church at night (caught on CCTV) but the doors were locked, alarms on etc. We had a kids section and people would say at 1-2am people have seen kids running around playing around that time. People have heard knocking from the wall crypts as well late at night. List goes on
When you say kids, how old? Any hot 16 year old sloot ghosts? Did you get a ghost BJ? Also negged for boring replies
post 1704885711 08-11-2024, 05:02 PM
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Any "famous" people?
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post 1704885801 08-11-2024, 05:04 PM
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I used to Make Cremation Caskets for Batesville
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post 1704888301 08-11-2024, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted By OneLegSquats⏩
When you say kids, how old? Any hot 16 year old sloot ghosts? Did you get a ghost BJ? Also negged for boring replies
toddlers, you also going to ask if they were hot or something? i dont make jokes about this stuff from what iv seen. I actually have respect for people who died. Time to clear your head with a 12guage
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704888421 08-11-2024, 05:56 PM
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#56
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Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
Any "famous" people?
Mostly famous in the area, football players, people who died badly (in the media etc)
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704888571 08-11-2024, 06:00 PM
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Do they drain the blood before you get them? Or did that get evaporated in the over?
post 1704888611 08-11-2024, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
Do they drain the blood before you get them? Or did that get evaporated in the over?
Nah they dont drain. They only (sometimes) do this for wall crypts where they pump in chemicals to keep the body from decaying badly over time since they arnt bury
“I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child after falling asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room.”

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post 1704888691 08-11-2024, 06:07 PM
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#59
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Originally Posted By BWChaver⏩
How long would it take to burn 6 million bodies?
Originally Posted By Duckliver⏩
Thoughts on how long it would take to cremate 6 million bodies
Originally Posted By BAPIST112⏩
How many bodies could you burn in a 3 year time span with 4 ovens?
post 1704923261 08-12-2024, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
toddlers, you also going to ask if they were hot or something? i dont make jokes about this stuff from what iv seen. I actually have respect for people who died. Time to clear your head with a 12guage
Time to clear your head with deez nuts you emotional pipsqueak lol
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