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Thread: I use to run a cemetery/crematoria ask me anything (srs)

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08-10-2024, 10:58 PM
#31
Originally Posted By BraddlesMcGee⏩
Do ashes ever get mixed up and people get some random urn of dust?
It has happened when i was there. People arent paying attention and mix it up. It causes MASSIVE problems, chit i had to solve and face. Hence why i am no longer there, wasnt for me.
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08-10-2024, 10:59 PM
#32
Originally Posted By GeneralSerpant⏩
How often do you think cemeteries are used to hide bodies?
Even though mine was massive, we knew every blade of grass or if something didnt look right. We knew every burial the day prior etc. If we saw something freshly dug that wasnt us, it would be called up
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08-10-2024, 11:01 PM
#33
Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
-Makes an AMA

-First reply is 2mins later

-22 replies over the following 2hrs

-OP replies literally 4hrs later

-Thread deserves to be buried.
Sorry man my child got really sick and had to go to the doctors on short notice.

Im here to answer any others.
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08-10-2024, 11:02 PM
#34
Originally Posted By Bodhy⏩
OP, did you know there is a point during cremation where the meat is perfectly cooked?
At least the first 10 mins in (its at 800-900 degrees) a lot of liquid to burn first.
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08-10-2024, 11:03 PM
#35
Originally Posted By SmackSonPissIt⏩
if you were trained by pai mei, could you punch your way out of a casket to freedom like a smack ass bish ?
Impossible. The dirt ontop can and mostly smashes the coffin if buried at the right depth and if clay is ontop. We also compact it down.
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08-10-2024, 11:05 PM
#36
Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
Sorry man my child got really sick and had to go to the doctors on short notice.

Im here to answer any others.
All gud G

Did you like my pun?
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08-10-2024, 11:08 PM
#37
Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
All gud G

Did you like my pun?
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
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08-10-2024, 11:16 PM
#38
Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
Lmao
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08-10-2024, 11:52 PM
#39
Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
yeeeee made me hard srs.

Want to hear smething fked up that happened once? We did a burial, family went home, grave is opened to be filled. Boys in the excavator pick up the first scoop to drop, didnt realise there was a huge rock in it. Drops the load onto the coffin, rock smashes through, and the body comes flying out the lid (SRS). Quickly put the rest on and called it a day (deal with ittttt)
Woah WTF? Imagine the PTSD it would have caused the family and friends still there.
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08-10-2024, 11:57 PM
#40
Originally Posted By SYKO227⏩
Woah WTF? Imagine the PTSD it would have caused the family and friends still there.
For sure, weve had something similar happen. After a burial, a pipe accidentally burst next to the grave and flooded it. Family were furious, and got a refund in the end. They were legit screaming in reception. Body was def swimming down there lol
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08-11-2024, 01:33 AM
#41
Are the spooks that followed you home still there?
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08-11-2024, 02:46 AM
#42
When i was a kid the local funeral service used shredded paper to stuff into the corpses to pad them out to look outwardly normal. Is that what they used in your area? I imagine they have to tell you crematorium guys what they put into the bodies…

Is the formaldehyde in the corpse an issue for cremation? You need to flush it out, or just chuck em in the oven?

Are necrophiliacs a known issue in the industry? It's the obvious place to work if one had such proclivities.
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08-11-2024, 02:47 AM
#43
Originally Posted By byzantine75⏩
Are the spooks that followed you home still there?
I havent seen much in ages. Basically what happened was:

1) Wife walked down our hallway because we heard a noise, thought it was our son out of bed. As shes walking down the hallway and looks into his room asleep, a person came up and whispered gibberish in her ear
2) I saw a person run into a bedroom in the corner of my eye
3) Tv turning on during the night / lights going on in the night

Felt super ghey doing this but we got a sage stick and burnt smoke all over the house, havent seen much since. Who knows.
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08-11-2024, 03:53 AM
#44
Did you fuk all the bodies?

or only the females?

or only the hot females?
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08-11-2024, 04:39 AM
#45
Originally Posted By IPoopStandingUp⏩
Did you fuk all the bodies?

or only the females?

or only the hot females?
It took phuking 44 posts for the real sht. Misc has gone soft af.
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08-11-2024, 04:48 AM
#46
Originally Posted By jizzfarmer⏩
It took phuking 44 posts for the real sht. Misc has gone soft af.
everything changed after 2012
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08-11-2024, 04:48 AM
#47
How many pajeets did you work with?




















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08-11-2024, 12:33 PM
#48
OP, were you the one sticking them into the oven? What did the bodies look like? How fresh were they when you got them?
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08-11-2024, 03:40 PM
#49
Originally Posted By N0rds⏩
How many pajeets did you work with?




















none. actually i lie, we had one who was a facilities manager - he was funny as fk
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08-11-2024, 03:52 PM
#50
Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
OP, were you the one sticking them into the oven? What did the bodies look like? How fresh were they when you got them?
We had 2 guys who did that as a job and I oversaw them. Bodies would come in that were 24 hours dead, up to 3-4 weeks dead. All depends. Never saw the bodies as we burn the coffin/casket too. Only saw one or two every now and then, only if we found out that there were banned items in the coffin to be burnt with the body (batteries, glass etc) so we had to open it and take it out.
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08-11-2024, 03:58 PM
#51
Originally Posted By Mulloway69⏩
-Thread deserves to be buried.
These are the kind of puns I like. Repped.

Edit: on spread
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08-11-2024, 04:01 PM
#52
Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
I was there for about a year, i saw nothing onsite but i had stuff follow me home unfortunately. Mostly whispers in my ear, lights turned on, TV turned on in the middle of the night etc. Staff who had been there longer would see all sorts of stuff. Taps on the shoulder, actual people walking around the church at night (caught on CCTV) but the doors were locked, alarms on etc. We had a kids section and people would say at 1-2am people have seen kids running around playing around that time. People have heard knocking from the wall crypts as well late at night. List goes on
When you say kids, how old? Any hot 16 year old sloot ghosts? Did you get a ghost BJ? Also negged for boring replies
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08-11-2024, 04:02 PM
#53
Any "famous" people?
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08-11-2024, 04:04 PM
#54
I used to Make Cremation Caskets for Batesville
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08-11-2024, 04:53 PM
#55
Originally Posted By OneLegSquats⏩
When you say kids, how old? Any hot 16 year old sloot ghosts? Did you get a ghost BJ? Also negged for boring replies
toddlers, you also going to ask if they were hot or something? i dont make jokes about this stuff from what iv seen. I actually have respect for people who died. Time to clear your head with a 12guage
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08-11-2024, 04:56 PM
#56
Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
Any "famous" people?
Mostly famous in the area, football players, people who died badly (in the media etc)
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08-11-2024, 05:00 PM
#57
Do they drain the blood before you get them? Or did that get evaporated in the over?
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08-11-2024, 05:02 PM
#58
Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
Do they drain the blood before you get them? Or did that get evaporated in the over?
Nah they dont drain. They only (sometimes) do this for wall crypts where they pump in chemicals to keep the body from decaying badly over time since they arnt bury
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08-11-2024, 05:07 PM
#59
Originally Posted By BWChaver⏩
How long would it take to burn 6 million bodies?
Originally Posted By Duckliver⏩
Thoughts on how long it would take to cremate 6 million bodies
Originally Posted By BAPIST112⏩
How many bodies could you burn in a 3 year time span with 4 ovens?
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08-12-2024, 12:48 PM
#60
Originally Posted By 24HrParking⏩
toddlers, you also going to ask if they were hot or something? i dont make jokes about this stuff from what iv seen. I actually have respect for people who died. Time to clear your head with a 12guage
Time to clear your head with deez nuts you emotional pipsqueak lol
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