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Forum ยป Another friend getting divorced, no prenup, just LoL
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Thread: Another friend getting divorced, no prenup, just LoL

post 1560943741 09-10-2018, 03:48 PM
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Originally Posted By r32gojirra⏩
What if Iโ€™m not driven by money and have more than enough to live comfortably either way?
What if I'm a unicorn that identifies as a helicopter?

But srs I'd say you should do wtf you want with that, and you have the option to marry or not if you meet someone worthwhile. I'd say my hypothetical occurs more often than yours though, as 99% of threads related to marriage/kids on here deal with #liveyourbestlife by saving/increasing net worth. At least today, with the 32 threads on the front page.
445/340/545
post 1560943811 09-10-2018, 03:49 PM
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Originally Posted By TrinnieBuu⏩
I like to think if you picked a good person they will not try to screw you over. I know if I get married, and we fall apart and have to get a divorce (assuming cheating isnโ€™t involved), I'd try to settle it as fairly as I could. Donโ€™t understand how someone goes from choosing to have someone as a partner for life and caring for them deeply to wanting to destroy their life. Makes no sense.
It's just scary when you think you've established someone's character and then they betray that (either directly or indirectly). In my own personal case, I really thought my ex was a brutally honest person and had changed her ways to be more conservative. Turned out, as I learned when we broke up, that wasn't the case and both turned out to be false. However, I guess you could say deep down I wasn't confident in that character and the manipulative tendencies, because I refused to commit and listened to my gut.

So ye, I think in these situations mostly people marry without properly vetting the real character of the other person. And then go ahead and marry them anyway out of fear/desperation/pressure/good sex etc.
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post 1560943921 09-10-2018, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted By litljay⏩
pre-nup only protects the assets you have prior to marriage. Any assets you acquire while married are fair game with or without a pre-nup.
best reason to get a prenup and quit work after marriage and ask her to go work full time instead. then just hit the gym and sleep
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srs
post 1560945071 09-10-2018, 04:04 PM
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Always lol when miscers laugh about marriage, but don't even understand how division of property is taken.

If you marry a housewife that you expect to never work - expect to give her half of everything.
If you marry a well-educated woman with a career - expect to give nothing.
*In addition to the above, if she's well-educated, she would want the divorce to be amicable to also reduce costs.

Miscers can't even read basic divorce law in their state to understand how it works. Takes 2 minutes.
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post 1561036731 09-11-2018, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted By MikeLowrrrey⏩
Prenup isn't the answer.

The problem comes in when guys who make good money marry a girl workings as a bank teller making $35k a year. If you're making good money you should marry a woman making good money. If you make $100k find a woman who makes at least $75k.This way, the courts are a lot more fair.
I mean this should go without saying IMO. I personally have no idea how a man or woman making good money dates someone who isn't an earner themselves but that is a different topic altogether.

But you don't know what the future holds. You just can't be sure that your income doesn't double and hers remains the same though, or that she doesn't loose her job and can't get back to earning what she was. You don't know the future, a prenup is an insurance policy because you don't.
Originally Posted By TrinnieBuu⏩
Only know two couples who are divorced, both bot married early 20s, both got divorced early 30s, both ended amicably and worked the details out without too much of a fight. Shared custody and all that too.

I like to think if you picked a good person they will not try to screw you over. I know if I get married, and we fall apart and have to get a divorce (assuming cheating isnโ€™t involved), I'd try to settle it as fairly as I could. Donโ€™t understand how someone goes from choosing to have someone as a partner for life and caring for them deeply to wanting to destroy their life. Makes no sense.
That's the same mentality of just thinking you picked a good person and wont get divorced. IF there is a divorce obviously things have gone wrong and not how you have planned.
Originally Posted By DCutch⏩
This. I hardly know any people who are divorced, and the ones that I do know are extremely dysfunctional people so it's not surprising. Don't know a single guy with any divorce horror stories whatsoever like what you see posted on the misc. I know divorce is prevalent, but you guys blow things out of proportion.
Age: 7
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Can't wait to find the right woman and get married. There are lots of benefits, mostly psychological I guess. Minimize the risk by finding someone of good moral character, values marriage for all the right reasons etc., set your bar high, test and observe their actions.

Don't live your life in fear and paranoia, you miss out on great stuff -- I have. I used to think there was literally no value in marriage over LTR - technically there doesn't have to be, but in reality there is for most people as long as they truly value marriage and what it entails (i.e. it's for the children).

Your position sounds pretty similar to what mine was a few years ago, very protective and defensive. Not a bad way to be, but you can overdo it.
I've never heard a single man say something remotely close to this
Originally Posted By AWillis⏩
best reason to get a prenup and quit work after marriage and ask her to go work full time instead. then just hit the gym and sleep
I know a few guys who married up big time and now just stay home and play video games, fish, play sports, etc all day long. Mirin' hard AF, the most alpha man is the man that can pull a hot broad that pays him to enjoy his life.
post 1561038731 09-11-2018, 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
I mean this should go without saying IMO. I personally have no idea how a man or woman making good money dates someone who isn't an earner themselves but that is a different topic altogether.

But you don't know what the future holds. You just can't be sure that your income doesn't double and hers remains the same though, or that she doesn't loose her job and can't get back to earning what she was. You don't know the future, a prenup is an insurance policy because you don't.



That's the same mentality of just thinking you picked a good person and wont get divorced. IF there is a divorce obviously things have gone wrong and not how you have planned.



Age: 7



I've never heard a single man say something remotely close to this



I know a few guys who married up big time and now just stay home and play video games, fish, play sports, etc all day long. Mirin' hard AF, the most alpha man is the man that can pull a hot broad that pays him to enjoy his life.
Hnnnnnnggggggggg


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post 1561038911 09-11-2018, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted By SiberianStrike⏩
Soon if won't matter anyway. They will introduce cohabitation laws everywhere. So, if you live under same roof as conjugal partners for 2 years you will be considered legally married in the eyes of the law with all the outstanding responsibilities.
Always been that way in TX. Shouldn't the sexual revolution and the following 50 years have taught lawmakers that connecting genitals does not mean connecting assets?
post 1561072861 09-12-2018, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
(i.e. it's for the children).

Your position sounds pretty similar to what mine was a few years ago, very protective and defensive. Not a bad way to be, but you can overdo it.
Im in a LTR and life is good. Brb, adding legal documentation for pseudo psychological benefits.

Also, dont want kids.
post 1561073301 09-12-2018, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted By Layne205⏩
I don't know a single person in my peer group that is divorced. I honestly thought it was going out of style. Don't know many people my parent's age that aren't divorced.
less people are getting married now. thus less would be getting divorced.
Originally Posted By DolphinPilot⏩
You admitted to dumping a guy for making too much noise when he brushed his teeth.
lol, sounds about right.
Originally Posted By MikeLowrrrey⏩
Prenup isn't the answer.

The problem comes in when guys who make good money marry a girl workings as a bank teller making $35k a year. If you're making good money you should marry a woman making good money. If you make $100k find a woman who makes at least $75k.This way, the courts are a lot more fair.
I've seen guys that made less have to pay her back after the divorce for the money she "spent on him".
Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
WTF? America, the land of the free, please ?
sure, "Land of the free chit if you have a vagina."
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
Exactly Aristotle, the made up internet stories to get the masculine blood boiling are sweetly repetitively inaccurate


Nope. I admitted to rhythmic tapping of a toothbrush every damn time being a straw that broke the camelโ€™s back. It became the final reason to leave a relationship. Strongly selective memory.
because breaking up with someone over tapping a tooth brush is TOTALLY different than how loud someone brushes. *rolleyes.gif*
But how you think an ex boyfriend is at all relevant to someone who has been happily with the same guy for 21 years, 18 married, is absolutely beyond me.

You alright DP, you seem to be back in your negative sniping without humour phase.
based on your own words the 21 year guy just doesn't tap his tooth brush. lol
Originally Posted By Vexidi⏩
Everyone I know who's divorced either remarried fairly quickly or has gone on to divorce several times. Clearly it's the end of the world since they keep doing it.
addicts relapse all the time. some people can't help being self destructive.
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post 1561073691 09-12-2018, 05:08 AM
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Originally Posted By HMFIC_BROWSIN⏩
Im in a LTR and life is good. Brb, adding legal documentation for pseudo psychological benefits.

Also, dont want kids.
How long have you been in the relationship and how old are you? I was anti-marriage for more than 30 years and my girl was cool with it, she never once asked about getting married and then one day I just figured, wtf, she is cool as chit, I don't see myself with anyone else at this point and it would probably surprise her and make her happy. With a good prenup there is no harm in it, we can get a divorce and I can walk away at any point, and so can she, easy peasy. But with that said there is nothing wrong with standing in the face of society's norm and not getting married. I just tend to think most people who are anti marriage stop seeing marriage as the devil once they age and are in a really fulfilling long term relationship.
post 1561073941 09-12-2018, 05:14 AM
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
How long have you been in the relationship and how old are you? I was anti-marriage for more than 30 years and my girl was cool with it, she never once asked about getting married and then one day I just figured, wtf, she is cool as chit, I don't see myself with anyone else at this point and it would probably surprise her and make her happy. With a good prenup there is no harm in it, we can get a divorce and I can walk away at any point, and so can she, easy peasy. But with that said there is nothing wrong with standing in the face of society's norm and not getting married. I just tend to think most people who are anti marriage stop seeing marriage as the devil once they age and are in a really fulfilling long term relationship.
But there really is no benefit of marriage over LTR.... girls who can't comprehend that are not cool bro.
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post 1561073991 09-12-2018, 05:16 AM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
It's just scary when you think you've established someone's character and then they betray that (either directly or indirectly).
The thing is, Luc1fer, that you might really know someone's character TODAY (as you read this post). But life can change people, and I'm not talking about the trope 'lol consultant earns money, lonely on trip, bangs someone's wife in the hotel' blah. I'm saying: some people lose family members, and it changes them forever - it turns something black inside them because they don't know how to deal with loss. And this can and does change some peoplepermanentlyregardless of any attempts to help them, from professional counselling to advice, to support, etc.

The ideal marriage is one where you don't just 'grow old together' but you 'change and adapt to each other' as well. Some people get married and still expect to (e.g.) come home from a 50 hour work week and play 50 hours of video games a week and let themselves, as they age, turn into fat slobs. And then they are surprised that the person who married them in part for their drive and ambition looks at the person and is not attracted to that person any more.

Successful marriages are ones where the two partners communicate with each other alot. I'm not saying that everything needs to be micromanaged, but to be on the same page the communication needs to be there. Without that, this is where people start saying 'been together 20 years, never a problem, she left me for her gym trainer' (ridiculous). Plus statistics are showing these days, at least in the U.S., that women are far more likely to initiate a divorce than men are and report far higher levels of unhappiness in the marriage than men do, showing that there's something amiss about communication in the average marriage.

Just some thoughts about 'knowing a character' from this end...
post 1561074001 09-12-2018, 05:17 AM
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Originally Posted By AltarOfPlagues⏩
whats half a zero dollars?
future garnished wages or jail time
post 1561074051 09-12-2018, 05:17 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
But there really is no benefit of marriage over LTR.... girls who can't comprehend that are not cool bro.
this.

been with the GF for about 3.5 years and she complains non-stop about wanting to get married. so far the only reasons she's been able to come up with is others will accept her relationship with me as real/adult and because she wants to. that's it. when asked what the benefits to me would be and she's got nothing.

haven't heard a good case for it besides "feelings" yet and that's not even a good one.
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post 1561074151 09-12-2018, 05:19 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
But there really is no benefit of marriage over LTR.... girls who can't comprehend that are not cool bro.
You aren't wrong about benefit from a tangible sense, there is none, and nobody should get married to a girl asking for it. Still, most females find happiness in it. My girl is the best girlfriend out of every girlfriend/wife I see, I literally do whatever I want whenever I want, she does all our shopping, cooks, cleans, pays bills. If providing her some silly thing called marriage is a way I can make her happy in return it's no big deal to me at this point in my life. And again, there is nothing wrong with standing in the face of society's norm and not getting married. I just tend to think most people who are anti marriage stop seeing marriage as the devil once they age and are in a really fulfilling long term relationship.
Originally Posted By Mumra⏩
this.

been with the GF for about 3.5 years and she complains non-stop about wanting to get married. so far the only reasons she's been able to come up with is others will accept her relationship with me as real/adult and because she wants to. that's it. when asked what the benefits to me would be and she's got nothing.

haven't heard a good case for it besides "feelings" yet and that's not even a good one.
LoL@ still dating her
post 1561074261 09-12-2018, 05:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
Can't wait to find the right woman and get married. There are lots of benefits, mostly psychological I guess. Minimize the risk by finding someone of good moral character, values marriage for all the right reasons etc., set your bar high, test and observe their actions.

Don't live your life in fear and paranoia, you miss out on great stuff -- I have. I used to think there was literally no value in marriage over LTR - technically there doesn't have to be, but in reality there is for most people as long as they truly value marriage and what it entails (i.e. it's for the children).

Your position sounds pretty similar to what mine was a few years ago, very protective and defensive. Not a bad way to be, but you can overdo it.
Pretty much this. Married a strong woman who supports me and my endeavors. I'm the bread winner but she makes OK money and makes my life at home easy so i can focus on work.

All you minimum wage fools in your one bedroom apartments are really that terrified that your wife might take your Hyundai? please go. It sounds manly and tough to say this non-sense but the rest of us who come home to a loving woman pity you.
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post 1561074461 09-12-2018, 05:28 AM
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
I just tend to think most people who are anti marriage stop seeing marriage as the devil once they age and are in a really fulfilling long term relationship.
Indoctrination, peer pressure, 'everyone else my age is doing it!'. Ill pass.

im saving the courts ink/paper by not signing one marriage contract, followed by a 2nd contract (prenup) that cancels the first one lmfao.

The mental gymnastics required to justify that (double contract) is funny to read.
post 1561074731 09-12-2018, 05:35 AM
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Originally Posted By GM54⏩
Pretty much this. Married a strong woman who supports me and my endeavors. I'm the bread winner but she makes OK money and makes my life at home easy so i can focus on work.

All you minimum wage fools in your one bedroom apartments are really that terrified that your wife might take your Hyundai? please go. It sounds manly and tough to say this non-sense but the rest of us who come home to a loving woman pity you.
what you're saying is nothing special. Pretty much every guy that is married and divorced thought this, at one point they were coming home to a loving woman. The problem is women can fall out of love with you when you've done nothing wrong
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post 1561074801 09-12-2018, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
LoL@ still dating her
why
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post 1561074851 09-12-2018, 05:37 AM
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Originally Posted By Mumra⏩
why
cause she obviously a sloot
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post 1561074891 09-12-2018, 05:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Criollo⏩
cause she obviously a sloot
I've already established this. lol.

if I stayed away from every woman that's a sloot I'd never talk to them.
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post 1561074911 09-12-2018, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted By PowerPal⏩
what you're saying is nothing special. Pretty much every guy that is married and divorced thought this, at one point they were coming home to a loving woman. The problem is women can fall out of love with you when you've done nothing wrong
Of course that is possible. That's why you should know the person you are marrying.
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post 1561075581 09-12-2018, 05:59 AM
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Originally Posted By HMFIC_BROWSIN⏩
Indoctrination, peer pressure, 'everyone else my age is doing it!'. Ill pass.

im saving the courts ink/paper by not signing one marriage contract, followed by a 2nd contract (prenup) that cancels the first one lmfao.

The mental gymnastics required to justify that (double contract) is funny to read.
You never answered the questions. And saving someone else ink isn't mental gymnastics? LoL
Originally Posted By Mumra⏩
why
I wouldn't date a girl who was asking me to marry her. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me regardless.
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
You never answered the questions. And saving someone else ink isn't mental gymnastics? LoL.
Oh sorry. Im 30. Relationship is 2.5 years old.

Maybe Ill mature when Im 31 and start making illogical choices then.
post 1561075911 09-12-2018, 06:09 AM
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Originally Posted By HMFIC_BROWSIN⏩
Oh sorry. Im 30. Relationship is 2.5 years old.

Maybe Ill mature when Im 31 and start making illogical choices then.
Yea, I thought like you at that age. Also, LoL@ anyone thinking about marriage 3 years into a relationship.
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
I wouldn't date a girl who was asking me to marry her. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me regardless.
well she hasn't left.

after she got to witness my dad's divorce(link below) I think she's accepted it that I'm never getting married.

https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showt...6194411&page=1
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post 1561076011 09-12-2018, 06:12 AM
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#87
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Originally Posted By mgftp⏩
Yea, I thought like you at that age. Also, LoL@ anyone thinking about marriage 3 years into a relationship.
So at what age did you stop using reason & logic in your decision making?

I need to know so I can be on high alert for brainlet choices when I hit that age.
post 1561076541 09-12-2018, 06:25 AM
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#88
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Originally Posted By Mumra⏩
well she hasn't left.

after she got to witness my dad's divorce(link below) I think she's accepted it that I'm never getting married.

https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showt...6194411&page=1
I mean if she is truly at peace with it then fine but you saying "been with the GF for about 3.5 years and she complains non-stop about wanting to get married" is a huge red flag for me and I would have been out the door instantly when that chit started. I dunno, I wouldn't feel comfortable with a woman asking that of me. Thinking she needs it, but I'm sure it could be argued I am taking it too far. Just me personally, I left women like that, could always find another who I didn't feel the pressure from but to each their own with that, obviously I don't know the inner workings of your relationship.
Originally Posted By HMFIC_BROWSIN⏩
So at what age did you stop using reason & logic in your decision making?

I need to know so I can be on high alert for brainlet choices when I hit that age.
LoL, reason and logic only increases with age. I just see maturity, age, and relationship length effecting my frame of mind on the topic. I wouldn't expect someone so young in such a short term relationship to understand. Again, I probably spewed the same garbage you are when I was in your shoes, it's a healthy mindset at your point in life in fact if you disregard the fact you aren't open to your mind changing as life does. I have just gotten to a point that it's a very small cost and time investment to make my partner happy and it's well worth it for everything she does to make me happy. With a good prenup there is no harm in it, we can get a divorce and I can walk away at any point, and so can she, easy peasy. It could even be said with all the domestic partnership rules and regulations in place marriage with a prenup is less of a commitment, seperation is easier anyway. In my situation with how long she has been living with me now, paying bills, etc seperation is surely easier with marriage and a prenup.
post 1561077341 09-12-2018, 06:43 AM
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#89
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I don't feel bad for idiots. It's their fault and only their fault for being a beta pushover.
๐—ฃ๐—จ๐—ฅ๐—˜๐—•๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ข๐——
ฯ‰ฯƒัโ„“โˆ‚ ั‚ัฮฑฮฝั”โ„“ั”ั ศผัั”ฯ‰ โ‚…โ‚€/โ‚โ‚‰โ‚…
๐•ฌ๐–Š๐–˜๐–™๐–๐–Š๐–™๐–Ž๐–ˆ๐–†๐–‘๐–‘๐–ž ๐•ฎ๐–š๐–™ ๐•ธ๐–†๐–˜๐–™๐–Š๐–— ๐•ฝ๐–†๐–ˆ๐–Š ยฎ
แ—ชIแ”•แ‘•แ–‡Iแ—ฐIแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž Eแ™ญแ‘•แ’ชแ‘Œแ”•IOแ‘Ž Iแ‘Žแ—ชOแ‘•Tแ–‡Iแ‘Žแ—ฉTIOแ‘Ž
post 1561077561 09-12-2018, 06:47 AM
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#90
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Thought experiment time:

How would society look if business laws were changed to be the same as those related to marriage & divorce?

Banker: Your honor!!! I demand justice!!!

Judge: Good morning sir! What seems to be the problem?

Banker: I gave $160,000 for a college tuition loan to a student and now he refuses to pay!

Judge: Why does he now refuse to pay?

Banker: He said that his feelings have changed since we first began our transaction those 4 years ago. He feels we have been steadily growing apart leading up to his graduation. Now, he feels it's in both of our interests to part ways and remember the more pleasant times we shared.

Judge: Well as the borrower in this contract, he is within his legal rights. Has he requested anything else from you?

Banker: Y-yes he has your honor. He has asked for and additional $160,000 on top of the original loan for the same amount.

Judge: I figured as much, I'm afraid to tell you that is also within his legal rights here. Unless he signs a new loan with another banker to finance his education further, he is entitled to the same quality of life standard as when he was attending school. This is a pretty standard case and he isn't requesting anything unreasonable.

Banker: YOUR HONOR HOW IS THIS FAIR?!!!! WHAT OF MY LEGAL RIGHTS?!!! WHAT THE **** AM I ENTITLED TO?!!!

Judge: First, I am giving you a fine for that profane outburst in my courtroom. Second, you knew what you were getting into once you signed this contract. I highly suggest that if you decide to finance another individual's education, you get to know them better and have a more thorough and lengthy process before entering into business with them. *pounds gavel* Case dismissed!
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