I’d change your username to kingofcope

I was a ranger (see username) before. I just did a mini tryout for special forces (enlisted again) even though I have my degree as well. Oldest dude in there, still ran circles around the young bucks. There are guys in their early 40's who end up going back in, happens all the time. With your degree, you could easily be an officer in whatever branch you wanted.

I'm not telling you to join, that's a serious life commitment but it's something you could consider. When you're bored sometime, go through all the MOS/AFSC (depending on branch, these are the jobs) and see if anything is interesting to you. Even if it's reserve or guard, you could find something that gives you that extra purpose in your life and as an officer it's your job to be HUMBLE and LEAD the people under you. If those are qualities you possess, you could make a big difference for a lot of people. Something to consider.

And obviously I suggest ranger, sf, etc since putting mother****ers in the dirt is the best job out there but you do you.

join the cause

that's unfortunate thought.. plenty of homeless downtown dc who will help you out for a couple 20s. maybe write a memoir first then

my advice, go find a girl and go half on a baby

Watch your life and pretend you don’t know who you are. Because you don’t.

Those times that go by really fast, and the distinction between subject and object disappears. That’s where you should be. Money means nothing, meaning is everything.

Hey,
Here's a letter from Hunter Thompson on finding your purpose, and living a meaningful life:
Sorry, no tl;dr, just read it, its worth it.

"You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal— to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?

The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.

I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors— but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires— including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).

In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.

Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know— is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.

If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo— this merely happens to be mine.

If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.

And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend,
Hunter"

I found this on a blog called Farnam Street, which has been very helpful. Best of luck to you.

There is no cure to nihilism. All you can do is embrace it

**** you *******
earn 100k not stressful etc **** u

happiness comes from within

OP you seem to be having a mid life crisis.


... Not good, this means you'll only live until 62.

Get to 200k+, I guarentee you that will take you at least 2 years minimum to double your income. More than likely 5 years. Write down quarterly and yearly financial goals

Map out a financial plan with a financial planner then work towards an early retirement so you have an actual thing you are working towards, which is early retirement.

Practice spirituality

Make more friends and enjoy different experiences outside of your comfort zone, change up your routine & instead of bodybuilding, do power lifting for example.

Give back to society, volunteer, spend time with your parents and loved ones

Adopt a dog at your local shelter, they are looking for someone to love and someone who loves them unconditionally

I like this suggestion, thanks. I will look into this. I looked into navy and marine officer years ago in my early 20s but they were overflowing with candidates and I had gotten a dwi which pretty much destroyed my chances

So do you volunteer or something ?

Guitar mostly (see sig). Occasionally play video games and I'm trying to read/meditate but can barely count that as I'm not consistent enough.

There is no point. Putting your life on the line for others won't bring you any meaning. It will just make you realize you are cucking yourself to protect the spawn of more biologically successful men than you. There is no purpose to life other than to survive and reproduce. The reason you are unhappy is that you have failed at that task. I could offer you empty "chin up, brah" words and tell you to "focus on your goals" and other bullchit. Truth is there is nothing. There is no fuking point. There never has been. You have some time on this Earth, and then you're just gone. Even the reproduction is pretty fuking meaningless in the grand scheme of things. There really is no fuking point. But I'll say this. None of us really knows what happens after death. It seems reasonable to assume that everything just stops and that's it, but it doesn't have to be quite that simple. There may be a lot more weird chit. So, I suggest you make the best use of the time you have until death because it probably isn't all that great to not exist at all. That's what I tell myself to remain alive. It beats being dead now because you are going to die anyway later, and you might as well experience whatever the fuk this chithole of a world is while you still can because before you know it, it will all be over boyo.

I definitely don’t disagree with anything you said

Pretty much my mindset, well put. Not sure about the "not great to not exist at all". lol. It wouldn't be anything but I see what you mean.

i don't think it's bad to feel that way OP.

the question you should be asking yourself is are you setting goals that you can accomplish that are FOR YOU and not just for your career, social life, etc.

when you find passion in something you are doing, whether work related or not, keep following that passion and it'll make your life feel more fulfilling as you progress in that passion.

basically don't be a working stiff, which I know DC is a cut throat environment with lots of competition.

Yea man I hear you. My issue right now is that I don’t feel passionate about anything. When I feel strongly about something, I have no qualms about pursuing it full force. But right now I just feel ‘meh’ about absolutely everything. I still work out, eat clean, go out and have hobbies (boxing/Muay Thai, yoga, reading, social sports leagues, occasional travel) but feel a never-ending void regardless

I mean I hear what you’re saying, I’m not trying to make it sound like things couldn’t be worse. My job is just so unfulfilling and I waste so much time in traffic, getting to the hospital early just to sit around waiting, etc.

The money is pretty good but it’s just a rat race and I’m sick of it

are you doing those things because you feel the need to or because you really want to?

most guys at your age will be happy with starting a family or getting married while others might find happiness getting a huge boost in their career and building financial independence.

never chase money - chase freedom.

100% here. Always look at the person struggling more than you when you feel like you have something to complain about w your life

we get so caught up in comparing our lives w the lives of others

You aren't the first man to feel and confront this existential question. you can fill your life with fun and all the superficial pleasures to fill the void you feel inside. "ZOMG my career! muh money! muh toys and travel!"

None of that stuff is real though, and your emptiness will still be there.

That is because you are playing tricks on yourself, making yourself too busy to have a moment to even think about something as deep as purpose. Go that route if you want but those things may as well be heroine to your soul.

Continue to search for purpose outside of yourself. We may be insignificant as human beings on a tiny rock in the universe, but we all have a purpose.

Purpose is not stuff, it is not prestige, it is not accomplishment.Purpose is not greatness or special. What I mean by that is you could be one piece of a grand audience watching a performance.

That’s just inbuilt in humans though, in every species on the planet. To compete with others. And that’s how you get capitalism and then you start comparing what you have compared to your neighbour and the cycle continues. The other path is communism which is an environment where no one thrives and we stagnate.

We compare because we compete. We compete because we want to pass our genes on with the best partner possible. So that our offspring can have the best chance at life.

This thread is the epitome of the human condition. Humans can have everything going for them, money and health which are the most important, living in a first World, doing better than most Americans living paycheck to paycheck, and yet still feel like they're missing something that's needed in order to be complete. Such a joke this life can be at times.

There is no purpose to life. We are born purposeless.

We CREATE our own life and purpose.

what do?

I already told you what to do. Read the below first, and then read my post on page 2, #57 again. Yes, it’s a huge wall of text but I’m giving you the most real and helpful answer you can get. Serious.

Purpose and meaning are completely relative. Yes, there are some people that believe they have found some sort of ultimate purpose(s) in life. And good for them! But the truth is that they live a fulfilling life not because their purpose is objectively meaningful, but simply because they believe it is. They are working toward and achieving something they believe in and that is what matters.

Others are more realistic/nihilistic and believe there is no real purpose or meaning to anything. This is fine, and a lot closer to the truth IMO. But you DO NOT need to believe in some higher purpose to live a fulfilling life. Some nihilists cry about how nothing matters. But with said logic, it also doesn't matter that nothing matters. So you only have two choices. Live a life and feel good or live a life and feel bad. Neither objectively "matters" but f*** me if i'm gonna choose one where i feel bad. I'm here already so might as well make the most of it.

All one needs to do is live in balance with one’s hardwired program. We're all humans. We’re just animals. An animal whose DNA has given us several drives that have proven in one way or another to be advantageous for survival.Consistently starve any of your basic, human drives and your mind will punish you for it as a warning that your chances of survival are being negatively affected. The issue with people today is that they have forgotten that WORK is one of these basic drives! . This includes physical work but maybe a lot more importantly, it includes mental work i.e. the struggle to learn and solve. Humans are inherently driven to learn and to be creative, in order to solve problems. Thousands of years ago we had to work really hard to figure out how to survive, how to catch our next meal, how to build a home that could weather the next storm, etc. So it's no surprise that evolution would make sure our brains would reward learning and solving to the point of making it a necessity and killed off people that didn’t have this innate drive. Today, an increasing number of people no longer have to work very hard to survive. Food, shelter, sex, and social acceptance, while all still necessary, now come very (relatively) easily in modern society.

The good news is that our brains are easy to trick. Our brains are happy with getting mental exercise even if the immediate end goal is not food, shelter, or sex. This is why it can be so rewarding to play games and solve puzzles and learn new skills. Same with physical exercise… your body will release endorphins regardless of whether you were chasing down your next meal or playing a game of basketball.

The bad news is that our brains are easy to trick. We can be drawn to foods that have a ton of calories yet little nutritional value. Social acceptance can be simulated/faked through social media. Sex is now simulated through porn and masturbation. I digress, but I just wanted to show how this is just furthering the extent of how far off from balance we are. But even if you are getting all of the “real” versions of things; good nutritious food, great sex life with real partner, real social circle, you will still feel empty if you are not working enough.

There is a lot of irony when someone says “But you have everything and are so comfortable, how can you be depressed?!” That’s exactly why they are depressed! Depression for most people is just an extreme form of boredom that can only be resolved by working to improve yourself just for the sake of it (remember, your brain can’t really distinguish the end reason). You can acquire and consume as many resources as you want but your brain will not let you off easy if you don’t continually better yourself in various ways. See post #57 on how to do this.