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Forum » What do you think is 'fair'?
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Thread: What do you think is 'fair'?

post 1622896841 11-17-2020, 01:02 PM
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It depends.

Are persons A and B married? Or is person B just somebody renting the property?

Like if the assets are "together", I don't see a reason for Person B's arrangement not to change... When you're married, your assets are combined. The change should benefit both.
post 1622896991 11-17-2020, 01:04 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
It depends.

Are persons A and B married? Or is person B just somebody renting the property?
From what it sounds like persons A and B are in a committed relationship with no plans on marriage
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post 1622897061 11-17-2020, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
If it's rent, apply the local landlord and tenant laws.

But you can't, since it's not.
It's all agreed upon at a personal level instead of legal. But the principles are pretty much the same. The vocabulary of it is just convenience, it's exactly like rent. It would be fair to charge a market rate to a tenant, so even though he's not legally a tenant, that's a good benchmark

If the person b doesn't like any of the arrangement, the remedy is to fist him/herself. Otherwise they should paper it
post 1622897161 11-17-2020, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
What the gender thing? I could give half a ****, women work and own property.

Replace he with she, same difference.
No, responding to Anachron and setting up for their pretentious replies.
Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
My take on it was I'd pay the extra if I decided to refi for the higher amount. And if I decide to refi for the lower amount - what he's currently paying would stay the same. He did not like that.He sees it as me 'making money off of him' and that's not what 'partners do'.
And person B would be correct.

If you refi ato the 30yr and his amt doesnt change, you benefit by netting more money.

If you refi to the 15yr and expect them to pay more, their situation worsesn (paying more) and you still benefit bc you are paying off your house much more quickly.

Like I said before,

If you refit to a less amt, then B should decrease.

If you refit to a higher amt. B should stay the same.

In both situations, both A and B benefit in some way.
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post 1622897401 11-17-2020, 01:08 PM
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Didnt read thread but I'm assuming Person B is the sloot living off the dude, sucking the very life blood out of him. I would up that bitchez rent two fold. I guarantee she is getting a great deal as it is and thinkin "well if I'm screwin him that should count as 'extra'.
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post 1622897431 11-17-2020, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted By Fozzy13⏩
And person B would be correct.

If you refi ato the 30yr and his amt doesnt change, you benefit by netting more money.

If you refi to the 15yr and expect them to pay more, their situation worsesn (paying more) and you still benefit bc you are paying off your house much more quickly.

Like I said before,

If you refit to a less amt, then B should decrease.

If you refit to a higher amt. B should stay the same.

In both situations, both A and B benefit in some way.
The amount owed doesn't change, the value of the living space doesn't change. All 30 yrs does is give you more upfront cash to invest and more interest expense to recuperate. There is zero logic in looking at this in terms of cash flows.

In a business, equipment or a factory would be depreciated over it's useful life, not over the terms of cash payment. They may pay 100% upfront, they could pay for it by refinancing for 50 straight years. It's irrelevant to the expensing
post 1622897751 11-17-2020, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
"Like rent" and "rent" aren't the same thing and that's my only point.

Both parties are morons IMHO.

Person A, besides being a moron, is morally corrupt as well.
Wow, someone is fed up of paying rent
post 1622897831 11-17-2020, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted By Fozzy13⏩
If you refit to a less amt, then B should decrease.

If you refit to a higher amt. B should stay the same.
Is the correct answer
post 1622897981 11-17-2020, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Fun conversation this morning:


Person A is dating person B and they live together. (They are not married)

Person A owns the home they live in.Person B agreed to pay 50% of whatever the mortgage is.

For numbers sake lets say they each pay 500 dollars.

Person A decides to refi their home.

30 Year mortgage gets lower payments (let's say it goes from 1K a month to 500 a month)

15 Year mortgage raises the payments (Let's say it goes from 1k a month to 1,300 a month)



If person A refi for 30 - should person B pay less meaning rent drops from 500 to 250?or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

If person A refi for 15 - should person B pay more (650)? or pays the same as they pay now? (the 500)

Let's hear it misc.
Seems pretty cut and dry to me.

Person B needs to be getting half equity though.
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post 1622898001 11-17-2020, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
I think a lot of people are confused in this thread. Why is everyone talking about "rent"?

There is no rent in the scenario.
I think rent got brought in to the discussion because some didn’t like the fact he’d be paying her mortgage. Others basically said what’s the difference between rent and mortgage when you know the guy isn’t going to just live there scott free with the woman paying everything. They’re basically saying, think of it as paying rent. If she decides to put that money towards her mortgage, that’s her business.

I’m not sure anymore though...that’s a sticky situation. I definitely wouldn’t want the guy paying more than 50% of the mortgage payment. That does seem odd. If the payment goes down, I think what he pays should as well. Also, I’m not sure what kind of legal situation you’d get yourself in to with the guy paying more than half the mortgage...especially if you dated for a long time.
post 1622898221 11-17-2020, 01:20 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Nah, never been in Person B's situation. I've always been in Person A's shoes. But nice try.
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post 1622898341 11-17-2020, 01:21 PM
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
The amount owed doesn't change, the value of the living space doesn't change. All 30 yrs does is give you more upfront cash to invest and more interest expense to recuperate. There is zero logic in looking at this in terms of cash flows.

In a business, equipment or a factory would be depreciated over it's useful life, not over the terms of cash payment. They may pay 100% upfront, they could pay for it by refinancing for 50 straight years. It's irrelevant to the expensing
This is a relationship situation, not a business situation.

The best course of action is what would benefit both parties the best.


In any case, what OP should do is refi to a 30yr, bc 15 yrs stupid...you have more cashflow in the future with 30yr and can simply pay extra to pay it off quicker.

So in a 30yr refi, the total amt goes down, so if the mortgage goes down, then both parties still split 50/50, they just each contribute less.

OP is being a ******* and trying to refi while having B paying 50%+
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post 1622898461 11-17-2020, 01:22 PM
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If I was person A, I'd figure out a reasonable amount to charge person B. Something reasonable for renting in the area given the quality of home person B is afforded access to but also generous to person B (since I'm not just renting to a stranger).

Then I figure how I want to deal with my mortgage on my own. How that plays out shouldn't affect person B unless they have a stake in the mortgage.
post 1622898511 11-17-2020, 01:22 PM
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If we're not married I'm paying a set amount and no more. If she wants me to pay 50% of everything I'll stay on my own. What if 50% of her chit is more expensive than 100% of my chit? lol.

Literally at any moment she could just decide to make her onlyfans free and accuse you of cheating with her roommate and you're out on your own again so having stable predictable finances are always ideal.

No thanks.
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post 1622898601 11-17-2020, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
He did not like that. He sees it as me 'making money off of him' and that's not what 'partners do'.
Ufkwot? O_o

Lawl.

I mean, he can go and pay rent elsewhere which would be a lot more for him and a lot less headache for you. Let him go missy.
Originally Posted By chrsschb⏩
If we're not married I'm paying a set amount and no more. If she wants me to pay 50% of everything I'll stay on my own. What if 50% of her chit is more expensive than 100% of my chit? lol.
Wait, so you think he doesn't take showers or have rubbish to throw away (water, sewer, garbage bills)? You think he's not using the internet or watching television (wifi and Netflix bills)?

I agree with you, he should pay a set amount. What Opie should have done is calculated costs and expected him to pay half. He's using the services equally and should pay for them. THAT is fair.
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post 1622898631 11-17-2020, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted By DSTEE⏩
Yeah realised that later on. By refinancing without including your partner you are by definition not planning on making your relationship last
You mean you want me to slap his name on my house when we aren't legally bound to each other? That makes zero financial sense to me.
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What about trailer park fees
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
LOL that dude sounds like I did in college trying explain to a chick how half the sack belonged to me since I drove the chick to the dealers house and she wasn't paying cash for it anyway. Now that I remember that I feel kinda bad now
lmao I knew you were an ******* from all your previous stories. I'm glad you're reformed now. I think it's just tough talking about this stuff when there's emotions involved and I'm trying not to insult him. lmao he got mad at me for talking about picking up the extra mortgage if i went the 15 yr route.

So.. basically he doesn't want me to 'make money' off him if I go the 30 yr route AND he doesn't want me to pick up the extra if I go the 15 yr route. He literally wants to commit to half is half.
Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
It depends.

Are persons A and B married? Or is person B just somebody renting the property?

Like if the assets are "together", I don't see a reason for Person B's arrangement not to change... When you're married, your assets are combined. The change should benefit both.

But if person B is a renter, they have no reason to know about the refinance.
Not married. And I wouldn't refi without telling him. That seems borderline shady. Even though he doesn't care what I do with my $. I'm pretty open when it comes to my finances with him. I imagine if I refi'd without telling him he would be hurt. It's all so complicated when feelings are involved.
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post 1622898761 11-17-2020, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩
From what it sounds like persons A and B are in a committed relationship with no plans on marriage
I mean if the agreement is 50% of mortgage then tbh that's the agreement.

So if it changes, it changes. If they're in a relationship, theoretically there should still be some amount of consideration to the original agreement being mutually beneficial.

Also paying 50% of the mortgage should entitle you to some amount of equity in it. Paying additionally on top of that, like Person A seems to be suggesting would be kind of like paying more toward said mortgage. In the end, you'd have a higher equity.
post 1622899031 11-17-2020, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted By legbroke⏩
If I was person A, I'd figure out a reasonable amount to charge person B. Something reasonable for renting in the area given the quality of home person B is afforded access to but also generous to person B (since I'm not just renting to a stranger).

Then I figure how I want to deal with my mortgage on my own. How that plays out shouldn't affect person B unless they have a stake in the mortgage.
This is what I was trying to say. Separate person Bs cost of living from person As mortgage expense. I don't know why person B is so fixated on paying a portion of the mortgage when really its irrelevant how person A arranges their personal finances.
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post 1622899141 11-17-2020, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
But they should live rent free cos they are providing the sexors?

Is that your take?

LULZ
That's the deal women have taken for 2000 years isn't it?
Them living there does not increase the cost of the OPs mortgage payment.
It's not like a rental where rent increases as occupancy increases.

I'm saying person B should absolutely leave and pay more to have their own place even if renting.
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post 1622899371 11-17-2020, 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted By Fozzy13⏩
This is a relationship situation, not a business situation.

The best course of action is what would benefit both parties the best.


In any case, what OP should do is refi to a 30yr, bc 15 yrs stupid...you have more cashflow in the future with 30yr and can simply pay extra to pay it off quicker.

So in a 30yr refi, the total amt goes down, so if the mortgage goes down, then both parties still split 50/50, they just each contribute less.

OP is being a ******* and trying to refi while having B paying 50%+
But Person B isn't paying half as of right now. He's getting a deal by living with opie. lol.

But yes, if she refi's at the lower rate and thetotal living costsare less than $500, she should lower his cost. But I highly doubt those costs would be less than $500.
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post 1622899391 11-17-2020, 01:33 PM
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In this day and age id split half no matter what as the non owner will take half after 6 months of living there anyways.
post 1622899481 11-17-2020, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted By Rabbitjb⏩
But they should live rent free cos they are providing the sexors?
Originally Posted By leoslayer1⏩
That's the deal women have taken for 2000 years isn't it?
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post 1622899561 11-17-2020, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Person B isn't broke by any means lmao. It's apparently a discussion on principal and what's 'fair' to the other dating partner.




lmao We'd have a competition to see who can sloot it up harder. Also there isn't anything written. Only verbal agreements.


This is where I was siding. B gets no equity in any sale.


Not bringing marriage into the equation in this discussion.

My take on it was I'd pay the extra if I decided to refi for the higher amount. And if I decide to refi for the lower amount - what he's currently paying would stay the same. He did not like that. He sees it as me 'making money off of him' and that's not what 'partners do'.
That's where he's retarded. You're making money off him either way.

I didn't say free. I said split utilities and help with upkeep.

He does minor repairs and grass cutting etc.
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post 1622899671 11-17-2020, 01:35 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
I mean if the agreement is 50% of mortgage then tbh that's the agreement.

So if it changes, it changes. If they're in a relationship, theoretically there should still be some amount of consideration to the original agreement being mutually beneficial.

Also paying 50% of the mortgage should entitle you to some amount of equity in it. Paying additionally on top of that, like Person A seems to be suggesting would be kind of like paying more toward said mortgage. In the end, you'd have a higher equity.
I rent and I don't get equity. And I guarantee market rent is higher than any mortgage entered into a year ago in this environment.

OP shouldn't even have told him about the refi.
post 1622899721 11-17-2020, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
You mean you want me to slap his name on my house when we aren't legally bound to each other? That makes zero financial sense to me.



LMAO will rape on rc.


lmao I knew you were an ******* from all your previous stories. I'm glad you're reformed now. I think it's just tough talking about this stuff when there's emotions involved and I'm trying not to insult him. lmao he got mad at me for talking about picking up the extra mortgage if i went the 15 yr route.

So.. basically he doesn't want me to 'make money' off him if I go the 30 yr route AND he doesn't want me to pick up the extra if I go the 15 yr route. He literally wants to commit to half is half.


Not married. And I wouldn't refi without telling him. That seems borderline shady. Even though he doesn't care what I do with my $. I'm pretty open when it comes to my finances with him. I imagine if I refi'd without telling him he would be hurt. It's all so complicated when feelings are involved.
Ya dumb sl00t.

Almost 100+ posts bc you 2 morons are too dumb to figure this out. Sad!

It's obvious you want "the better deal" in this.

Keep it 50/50. Refi with 30yr. If you want to pay if off quicker, then increase payments to the principle amt. The % difference between paying off a 30yr in 15yrs vs a straight 15 isn;t very significant and you have more monthly cashflow if needed.
Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
But Person B isn't paying half as of right now. He's getting a deal by living with opie. lol.

But yes, if she refi's at the lower rate and thetotal living costsare less than $500, she should lower his cost. But I highly doubt those costs would be less than $500.
Oh, I thought it was being split 50/50 atm..nvm then.
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post 1622899971 11-17-2020, 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Do you have a written lease?
I do, but I have subletted in violation of that lease a number of times with no contract. And not based on my own payments, based on the market value. You have to be careful about who you allow into this sort of arrangement.

People in a relationship should be able to handle this without legal authorities, but it is very risky if either person is immature or unpredictable.
post 1622899991 11-17-2020, 01:39 PM
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Sounds like you need to compromise on a mutually beneficial situation. It's tough to judge without knowing your personal situations, CoL in the area etc
post 1622900131 11-17-2020, 01:41 PM
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post 1622900201 11-17-2020, 01:42 PM
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How come you're considering refinancing to a 30 year? Aren't houses cheap AF in Texas? Just do 15 and keep the terms the same ($500 or whatever it is)
post 1622900551 11-17-2020, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
lmao I knew you were an *******from all your previous stories. I'm glad you're reformed now. I think it's just tough talking about this stuff when there's emotions involved and I'm trying not to insult him. lmao he got mad at me for talking about picking up the extra mortgage if i went the 15 yr route.
I'm gonna guess that meant azzhole?? Adolescent trauma, an absentee parent, massive guilt, a huge ego, low self esteem, being good at school and athletics without having to work for it and a chip on your shoulder the size of Texas is a hell of a combo. It's a miracle I turned out to be a well adjusted adult by my mid to late 20s

Here's the deal. From the sounds of things he has it together but you're in a better financial position than him right now and because of that his pride is fukn with him right now. Just talk to him and let him know how ridiculous it is for him to not want you to refinance to 15andpay the difference. If he keeps being a chit about it just use the nuclear option and tell him this is what's happening, tell him to get over it and if he can't get over it then see ya. One of the reasons I married my wife is because she takes precisely 0 chit off me and calls me out when I'm wrong. Of course sometimes it makes me furious but I get over it and I respect that she actually stands up to me instead of being a doormat
6'2"

OMAD results: 2/15/19-235, 10/13/19-190

OHP-205 Bench- 245 Squat - 405 C&J - 245

2021 Spring cut: 195lbs starting weight
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