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Quick Navigation Bottom Misc
Forum » Dad jokes itt
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Thread: Dad jokes itt

post 1679045583 03-16-2023, 01:33 AM
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#61
  1. Archheretic
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Former no-avi anonymous
post 1679046373 03-16-2023, 02:50 AM
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#62
  1. byzantine75
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What's brown and sticky?


A stick

jejejeje
Judo crew
Kyokushin crew
Pyrogen is gonna be my best man at my 5th wedding crew
post 1679046673 03-16-2023, 03:22 AM
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#63
  1. 4Bertuzzi4
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms, because...








There is no protection from Chuck Norris.
post 1679047613 03-16-2023, 04:18 AM
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#64
  1. lightsarefallin
  2. Nukem
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Two mushroom miscers are chatting. The first one says to the other, "I have no idea why girls don't want me. It's not like I like being an incel mushroom posting on the misc. I'm a fungi, right?"
*Look at reflection in car window and flex every time crew*
*Use half the roll to wipe after a poo crew*
*Fart in the gym and blame rotten smell on faulty ventilation crew*
*Fart at home and blame it on the dog crew*
*Watch neutron-star density poop mock me as water flushes around it and it stays put crew*
*Drive 2 minutes in the summer and back of shirt gets completely wet crew*
*Coffee black as midnight on a moonless night crew*
*Fat shame my cat on a daily basis crew*
post 1679048013 03-16-2023, 04:35 AM
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#65
  1. TaiMaiSchutze
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How do scientists know diarrhea is hereditary?

Spoiler!
It runs in your jeans.
post 1679107013 03-17-2023, 05:09 AM
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#66
  1. Aameiel
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My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.

























































That would be a big step forward.
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” - Frederick Douglass
post 1679107903 03-17-2023, 05:44 AM
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#67
  1. Deathstroke
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2:57

post 1679107963 03-17-2023, 05:46 AM
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#68
  1. Deathstroke
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What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre
post 1679107983 03-17-2023, 05:47 AM
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#69
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
  1. Deathstroke
  2. What about Biden!
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What’s the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?

Acne waits until you’re a teenager to come on your face
post 1679108003 03-17-2023, 05:48 AM
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#70
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Where does a fish keep his money?

In the river bank

What did the old man say when his dog ran off?




Doggone
"As I was going up the stair, I met a man that wasnt there. He wasnt there again today, I wish he would go away."



~Dallas Cowboys~ ~Oklahoma City Thunder~ ~OU Sooners~

***Big Dik Dak Crew***

✰ WE RUNNIN' ✰ OFFICIAL MISC RUNNING CREW ✰ WE RUNNIN' ✰
post 1679108063 03-17-2023, 05:50 AM
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#71
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Originally Posted By Deathstroke⏩
What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre
Ded, definitely using this one
I loe e.
post 1679108383 03-17-2023, 06:01 AM
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#72
  1. Bodhy
  2. Paddling to New Zealand
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My favourite kind of joke, bar none.

Q. What subject do cows study in school?

A. Cow-calculus!


Q. What do you call a witch who lives in the desert or the beach?

A. A sandwich!


Q. What did the non-binary gold prospector day?

A. There's gold in them/their hills.

Q. What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

A. Gen-A.

Q. What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino?

A. 'Ell if I know!

Q. What happened to the blind circumciser?

A. He got the sack.


I saw my doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked why? And he said "Because I'm trying to examine you."


The police knocked on my door and told me my dog had been chasing a kid on his bike. I told them they must have the wrong address, because my dog doesn't even have a bike.


I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His mum got very angry at me.
Back off, Warchild.

Seriously.
post 1679109233 03-17-2023, 06:27 AM
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#73
  1. Muzzlrpress
  1. Muzzlrpress
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Originally Posted By Bodhy⏩
My favourite kind of joke, bar none.

Q. What subject do cows study in school?

A. Cow-calculus!


Q. What do you call a witch who lives in the desert or the beach?

A. A sandwich!


Q. What did the non-binary gold prospector day?

A. There's gold in them/their hills.

Q. What generation does Forrest Gump belong to?

A. Gen-A.

Q. What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino?

A. 'Ell if I know!

Q. What happened to the blind circumciser?

A. He got the sack.


I saw my doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked why? And he said "Because I'm trying to examine you."


The police knocked on my door and told me my dog had been chasing a kid on his bike. I told them they must have the wrong address, because my dog doesn't even have a bike.


I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His mum got very angry at me.
lol
I'm back, bitches!
post 1679109603 03-17-2023, 06:35 AM
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#74
  1. TheParish
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Where did the cow go on a field trip to?
The Moo-seum

Where did the horse go when he got sick?
The hors-pital
post 1679110983 03-17-2023, 07:12 AM
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#75
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What do you use to shoot a blue elephant?

A. A blue elephant Gun

What do you use to shoot an Orange elephant?

Most answers: An orange Elephant gun?

A. No, you Hold his nose until he turns blue and then shoot em with a blue elephant gun.
See monster0ultra's sig
post 1679111093 03-17-2023, 07:14 AM
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#76
  1. BFast55
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My wife asked me to focus on my feminine side...

Spoiler!
...so I wrecked the car
***Alabama Crimson Tide***

"Luck is when preparation meets opportunity." - Vince Lombardi
post 1679112203 03-17-2023, 07:39 AM
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#77
  1. SpermWhale
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why do midgets laugh when they walk?



because the grass tickle their balls
post 1679113413 03-17-2023, 08:09 AM
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#78
  1. Babayagawick85
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What did the purple grape say to the green grape?


Let it breathe
post 1679358183 03-21-2023, 04:58 PM
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#79
  1. Redfish225
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What do you get when the crips and the bloods don’t flush the toilet?






A whole lotta gang chit.
I loe e.
post 1691851593 10-17-2023, 03:58 PM
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#80
  1. zandy411
  2. Shredder
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What's a squirrel's favorite chick flick? Legally Nutty Blonde!
post 1691852393 10-17-2023, 04:12 PM
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#81
  1. Redfish225
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Mirin bump.


If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?


Pilgrims.
I loe e.
post 1691852913 10-17-2023, 04:22 PM
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#82
  1. Postmort3m
  2. Chairman of the bored
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You know what an astronaut’s favorite key on a computer is?

The space bar

I just read a review of a restaurant on the moon-

Said great food but no atmosphere
post 1691852973 10-17-2023, 04:23 PM
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#83
  1. Mr.PissShivers
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I don't trust umbrellas...they are too shady.
OLD MOVIE CREW
post 1691853063 10-17-2023, 04:24 PM
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#84
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Why did Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?


Because there were twenty of them.
post 1691853423 10-17-2023, 04:30 PM
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#85
  1. Postmort3m
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Of all the inventions in the last hundred years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
post 1691854263 10-17-2023, 04:46 PM
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#86
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what did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

bi-son
post 1691855043 10-17-2023, 04:55 PM
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#87
  1. lebowski951
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What do you get when you cross human DNA and pig DNA?

Banned from the petting zoo.
post 1691855093 10-17-2023, 04:57 PM
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#88
  1. woadito
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What's the best thing about killing a hooker?

You get your money back... and the second hour is free!
post 1691856023 10-17-2023, 05:10 PM
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#89
  1. Redfish225
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Originally Posted By woadito⏩
What's the best thing about killing a hooker?

You get your money back... and the second hour is free!
Mirin savagery
I loe e.
post 1693373043 11-14-2023, 03:29 PM
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#90
  1. SpermWhale
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what happens when you make an Asian girl squirt?

she charges you 10 cents for extra sauce
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