The emperor's voice in that trailer. What if he is Rey's dad?


Brah went on Tinder to show some sloot the dark side.



Matched some Tatooine chick.


Was smashing her with the Force of 1000 angry Sith Lords.


Forgot to pull out.

Spoiler!
The prequels were undoubtedly bad, but they were isolated enough from the original trilogy and its complete arc to be discounted as their own "thing."

Disney's sequel trilogy actually goes out of its way to halt the ending once the ROTJ credits roll to say, "but wait! There'smore", and that "more" happens toretroactivelyimpact that original story through and through.

What's particularly bad is how JJ couldn't even pick upsomewherethat made sense after ROTJ, instead making up his own fluff with clearly apparent ongoings in between the originals and his movie that are never explained, and by the sound of the leaks, they're now having to gobackto fill in the blanks that were left in the first place.

Disney justhadto cash in on Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, the gay robot lovers, and anything else they could cram into their new Star Wars movies, so theyhadto make a direct continuation instead of leaving well enough alone, pursuing new stories in this supposedly big-ass galaxy they bought the rights to.

Anyway, I never even thought about them retconning the prequels, but that would have been a much better start since those movies are soweirdin the overall context; they don't even look like the same "galaxy" or whatever with how different the technology clearly is between the "old" and the "new."

I suppose the only obstacle is that even those movies are sacrosanct to their loudest fans. Theycouldhave retconned them, but I think that the reason they didn't was because they would have had to have been 120% positive that their upcoming Star Wars plan was going to blow everyone's minds.

Instead, they decided to rush right out the gate without so much as a proper three movie outline for their planned trilogy, probably far too eager to cash in on the lucrative Star Wars fanfare waiting to be exploited to hell and back that Lucas had been sitting on.
It'sreallywarped all around how companies are basically hiding behind [insert even the loosest minority of choice] castings like, "well, we have an Asian friend (andshe's a lesbian who identifies as a swan) so wecan'tbe racist/sexist/whateverist!"

Except, for example, they're using their Asian "friend" like anobjectrather than valuing them as a person, i.e. for their skills or qualifications as an actor.

Oh, and bonus points if that Asian actress isChineseso that they can plug her to the Chinese market for extra marketability.

Even more frightening is how enough people are too daft to see through the patently obvious charade of Hollywood reducing and objectifying people to be nothing more than their shields against criticism, treating them as quotas instead ofindividuals.

do u think film is a dead medium?

i was a fan of Lost back in the day, and witnessed a tv show go completely off the rails of anything resembling a coherent narrative. is there something wrong with abrams?

No Leia in nude costume in the OP?

Tempting to neg

Light saber choreography of piss. This trailer did nothing for me. Something about the new reboot of star wars just doesn't get my boner going.

one of the rare times that a movie would excel if literally every main character died in an explosion in the opening scene.

seriously, Rey, Finn, and Poe are the worst characters ever in a main franchise. Disney was so terrified to make a female lead who wasnt perfect in every way that every single other character in the whole thing suffers. Even the original trio were terrible in the new trilogy because of Rey’s perfection.

- Luke is instantly cucked because this chick is already better than him in dueling

- Han is instantly cucked because apparently shes also an amazing pilot

- Leia is instantly cucked because shes a female and Rey is as well, except perfect. (Young Leia was infinitely more fukabale than this chick tho)

OT > Prequels >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Disney

nope no way.

I understand most fans hate the prequels, and thats fine and dandy, but they do **** all over these new movies.

At the absolute least, the prequels had well written characters with actual development. They had George Lucas’ touch and they had memorable moments. Go ahead and point me to a moment in the Disney movies thats even 1/4th as memorable as the Darth Maul duel with Duel of the Fates kicking in.

whats better, cancer or aids?

i think the obi-wan movie will do good. only because of ewan mcgregor. ewan will not **** this up. they **** up the story and ewan will say **** that i'm not doing that

Obi-Wan is going to be a series on Disney+ not a movie

Trainspotting 2 would like to have a word with you

I don't think film/TV are dead, but the current trend of Hollywood is depressingly regressive given the capacity of both mediums.

As one example, the two are often transposed because films equal one quick, get in, get out payout in the eyes of executives, setting up future sequels, merchandising, so on and so forth, whereas television series are not suited for making multiple millions at the box office. Yet the latter would actually be the far better method of telling a long form narrative - particularly with book adaptions - because that format can feasibly pace out a story so there is development. We get things like that Dark Tower movie where they try to cram one of these:

...into a single film. It simplywon'twork, but they keep trying regardless.

The most recent trend that is really dragging down film is the outrightrelianceupon known properties, stories, characters, ect. Just take the latest Predator with weaponized autism as the "next step in human evolution" (no exaggeration), Men In Black with Thor and female Michael Jackson, all of these CGI, uncanny valley Disney remakes of their classics, or the Terminator movie with the LGBT-1000 to name a few instances where the lack of creativityandunwillingness to take risks is readily apparent in Hollywood.

I find myself watching more older movies because at this point, thosewerethe original concepts now that Hollywood is too busy trying to cash in on that nostalgia with follow ups that have no idea what made those originals special, while also using them as their political soap boxes (with the added bonus of blocking out all criticism in the guise of sexism/racism/ect.). That's not to say new movies that are also good don't exist, but their is a disproportionate amount of rubbish to the astronomical paychecks being cashed.


As for JJ Abrams, he even made a TED talk about his whole "mystery box" philosophy to storytelling, which is really his inability to craft a complete, coherent story that is also imaginative or thought provoking. He comes up with a big "idea," like Cloverfield being the United States' answer to Godzilla... and that's about it. He really does stop at the "step 2. ????" phase of actually explaining any of the ideas he dreams up, instead expecting the audience's curiosity and imagination to carry all of the momentum after the initial premise. That's why his method is wont to produce twists with more twists that lead off somewhere, hoping you sort of lose track of it all to deeply question anything, flashy visuals/concepts that are as deep as a puddle, or more questions than answers in the worst way possible for a story.

There is certainly merit to the basicideagoing on there - the human mind is often more capable of delivering through imagination than "showing the monster" or what have you, but you can only build upon ambiguity so much before the mounting questions become a distraction rather than a positive driver to natural inquisitiveness.

Star Wars just happens to exemplify how reductionist his own approach is in action: We are introduced to nobody characters like Rey with no backstory but inexplicable abilities that otherwise leave her to be a prototypical Mary Sue since he didn't bother to explain jack sh*t, and we're supposed to care about this overarching story withsomany unknowns and random, unexplained nuances that would leave anyone beyond the capacity of a child to merely shrug their shoulders and say, "so what?" Why should anyone with a modicum of intelligence deeply invest themselves in any of this faff, which is precisely his (and Disney's) goal, when they don't even have the artistic or creative integrity to actually think their entire story out fully?

to add one more thing:

the absolute worst thing about this movie is easily the fact that they brought Palpatine back.

The fact that hes resurrected after falling down the shaft in the death star (and then exploding with the death star) is not my biggest problem—in fact i find it at least somewhat plausible due to the fact he supposedly learned how to cheat death with the force. The real issue is the fact that Palpatine being alive completely and utterly destroys Luke’ entire purpose, as well as the entire original trilogy.

The entire meaning of the original trilogy was that hope can overcome evil, not matter the odds. And for Luke it was that anyone can be redeemed, no matter how far they might have fallen. When Vader “kills” Palpatine he is redeemed and released from the dark side, proving Luke right. Palpatine now being alive just makes all of that meaningless with one completely moronic swoop.

Ya sure about that? Ewan is the guy who signed on to play a gay version of Black Mask who doesn't have a black mask in the feminist birds of prey movie.

to answer your question, Aids these days.

but if the original trilogy is a perfectly healthy body and these new movies are cancer, then the prequels were more like a flu. Not at peak performance, but certainly not gonna force you into radiation therapy and kill you.

This. The prequels have things going for them, even just the spectacle of the movies- the scenery, wide variety of locations, the sheer expanse of the star wars universe is shown well (hate on the CGI all you want, but it does enable more of this). There are many memorable moments. You just don't seem to care about any of the characters in the new Disney films, but you do care somewhat in the prequels: Qui-Gon dying, Mace dying were bigger impact scenes. The tension between Anakin and Obi-wan at the end of ROTS. The characters seem to mean more. I always thought it was amusing to hear the speculation "well omg what if Rey is luke's daughter!"....well,who cares. These are no longer characters that I really care about....vader being luke's father was huge because you were so invested in those characters.

One of the stronger things going for the prequel trilogy is the soundtrack: the soundtrack of ROTS is nothing short of a masterpiece. The soundtracks of the new Disney films are almost entirely forgettable, and the only thing you remember mainly is the Star Wars theme itself in them.

Pros of prequels: expansive locations, characters that are reasonably well-developed, fun action, sense of adventure, cool moments, soundtrack is excellent.

Cons of prequels: dialogue not written that well, some fighting scenes overly drawn-out, acting not good in parts mainly in II, love story of Anakin and padme was forced, could have done without the droid factory in II, arguably the role of Jar Jar played in the trilogy was not done well.

But overall, these movies utterly destroy the Disney films. I felt no connection at all to the force awakens- easily the most disappointing experience of all time for me in terms of seeing a movie*. The fact that they simply rehashed a New Hope, with a much, much, worse version, was a slap in the face- zero originality. Completely uninteresting, despite its attempt to be "real". Just another action movie, with a poor plot, a perfect Rey, and a laughable villain in Kylo Ren. Star Wars indeed ended in 2005.

*: 2nd on this list for me is probably Skyfall in the James Bond series. What a miserable let down. And 3rd....Indiana Jones 4.

the notion that “hollywood is out of ideas” is a demonstrably false one that i keep hearing.

Yes, there are more remakes than ever, but there are more movies overall than ever as well. The amount of original movies released in 2019 is more than every previous year. Usually what happens is that the general audience has chit taste so the box office gets eaten uo by marvel movies and the actual good movies barely get a glance.

Its just completely false to say that hollywood isnt making original stuff anymore.

i really thought you were being hyperbolic. no one should ever ever give this man money.

My problem with Palpatine being brought back is that JJ couldn't come up with something better. He just went"Well Rian killed Snoke in the last movie. Bring back Palpatine,"

The new trilogy isnt a trainwreck, it shows us people from different genders and ethnicities are equal and can all be equally powerfull





































































Kathleen Kennedy destroyed my childhood Im fking fuming she should fist herself and die

Meh. Will watch on Netflix sometime next year, will be mildly entertained by the special effects, will forget about it a week later.

dunno what to do with this take. if im so inundated by shiit that i cant find quality narrative, i think it's still ok to complain about the shiit creators

Just watched the trailer. A couple comments

- This trailer looks to be an epic conclusion to a book that didn't have a middle, if that makes sense.


- The magic of star wars is gone for me. It makes me so incredibly sad to say it but the magic of star wars is gone. 27 years of being raised on it, reading all the EU books, playing all of the games, and everything else but it's gone now. Thanks ryan johnson, kathleen kennedy, and episode 8.

The Lando banging his robot thing fit the story, IMO. Empire set him up as kind of a smarmy creep and that bit in Solo fit right into his character arc. It's not something too overbearing that dominates the storyline.

The Prequels were mostly fine except for Hayden Christensen and Jar Jar Binks. Binks I can ignore, but Christensen is the actor in the central role of the whole entire prequel trilogy. His dreadful performances cast a pall over the entire thing. With that said, none of the prequels come even close to the nadir of worthlessness that TLJ reached.

Real Talk: Is there any possible way they could salvage this trilogy? In my opinion, no.....there is nothing they can do. Kylo Ren is the most beta pussy villian ever. Even if you fix other problems, this one is still there.

I think they are going to pull some wild/crazy twist in this to try and salvage. I still say that Rey is Kylo's sister and daughter of Han and Leia. How they work the story to fit that would be challenging, but its my prediction.