I hate this for you outdoors brah, so I get why you’d be upset but best of luck to you and your wife srs.

Was also unaware of lawyer fees, brb becoming surrogate lawyer and banking hard.

For the gays, I think it’s fine for them to have kids if they’re well adjusted and able to give the kid a good life.

I’m not sure about priority stuff though, especially while we aren’t charging the obese an overweight sized tax for straining our healthcare system.

thnx brah.

I'm not all that bent out of shape about any of it, I cant change it.

I don't know the ins and outs of surrogacy yet, but hoping the agency we are talking to will fill us all in.

That's fair, but I'll counter with I think it's silly to imply there's a unified theory of maternal instinct or that it's the same for all women. Maybe the surrogates want to contribute to a child's life but feel they'd make a terrible mother, so this is how they do it. I also think it's pointless to take that article, a single example of surrogate who had an allegedly bad experience, and say it demonstrates anything beyond reminding us that sometimes pregnancies are hard and people won't always get along or agree. It is an excellent example of why the OP and his wife should make sure all expectations and responsibilities are clearly understood by all parties if they work with a surrogate.

I hadn't thought of it before, but I have a colleague who is gay and has 3 kids by surrogacy. I don't know if the number was intentional or they planned on 2, but he's also now a single dad. He's a pretty exceptional guy, doctor, lawyer, few extra other letters after his name. Competent, hard working, incredibly reasonable, manages people, clients and projects well. Seems to be raising his family well too and I suspect the world would be poorer if we didn't have him and his kids in it.

I am perfectly comfortable questioning and discussing the possible issues with both surrogacy, sexual preferences, and gender issues in parenting. Ultimately though, I'm pretty confident neither surrogacy or homosexual parents are the source of a statistically significant decrease in the overall quality of parenting on this planet. They may actually raise the quality of parenting and based on what a lot of people here posted, if the OP and his wife have a child via a surrogate, they'll be an example of why.

I e got nothing against what people want to do in their own privacy.


That being said, homosexuality is 100% a mental illness. I don’t believe kids should be subjected to that type of confusion for several reasons.

I know, I know, some gay couples are loving parents to the kids. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a mental illness.

I don’t think gay couples should be able to adopt period, so of course straight couples should have dibs.

I completely agree that one example isn't significant. I also mentioned earlier I've done this work on a professional level - there are thousands of examples of women who have the same experience, and I know that because I've sat in rooms with them and listened to them, same with adoptees, of which I am one myself. I don't even necessarily think OP and his wife shouldn't, but I do think it's important to be informed and listen, which he's doing. Admittedly my concern is usually more for the children who are a product of wants. Relinquished children usually do not tell the truth in front of their parents which is why these groups exist, sadly.

Thought provoking thread and you've made excellent points. I appreciate that. Apologies too, I actually did forget you mentioned your work with this population when I was reading the link. My bad.

Saw a video on here where a baby was just dumped into a dumpster.

Blood boiled. Some are throwing them away whereas there are people like myself who would give anything to be able to have one.


As for should I do it or not, there is a small part of me that is very "lawyer" like. If its legal, and I can do it to get what I want, why wouldn't I pursue it?

But I do see your points.

Yep. My adoptive mom was a schoolteacher before having me and she used to tell me stories about the horror of kids coming to school with bruises when my parents would have done anything to have and take care of a child.

Shrugs. I think you and your wife should do what you want, srs. You're good people.Not accepted, nothing to apologize for!