Yo Gbullock32 could you tell us some crazy prison stories? Srs - Page 4

11-28-2023, 06:46 PM

#91

these stories are gold, repped and subbed lmao

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11-29-2023, 02:40 AM

#92

Originally Posted By jwtiger69⏩

lol tough guy here….

***EDIT***

I want to hear some stories about potty watch! I know you got some…. I did so many of those I can't even count. Went to court over one as well.

Luckily only did Sht Sheriff a few times; you're not supposed to do it at all until you have at least a year in, but that never happens, always the new guy on it.

So I'm working contraband watch, first time doing it and the inmate flat out tells me he has no drugs and he plans to just poop so he can get out of here. Great, maybe an hour into my shift he has to sht. I get the toilet chair and a bucket with a trash bag for him to sht into. I have to just stand there while he unloads into this bucket, then I get to take this bag full of sht and go play with it, feeling for bindles in the turds. Because this is what I want to do with my day. Play with another mans sht. Fcking awesome! No drugs though, guy sht clean enough times to be cleared so I got to just go back to the yard and have a more normal day.

Best potty watch though, luckily this happened to someone else. So this new kid is doing potty watch because no one else wants to, but when they tried to explain to him how to do it he just blew them off, 3 months in and he knows it all already. So fck it, he doesn't want help so no one is going to waste their time on him.

Well, the inmate he is sitting on is this big Northerner, and the inmate knows this kid is new so he tells the C/O he has to poop, and that he needs to take off the handcuffs and waist irons and let him use the bathroom. Fcking no, it's potty watch for a reason, restraints stay on and they poop in a bag and not the toilet. But this new guy knows it all! So he just uncuffs this inmate and lets him use the toilet, well the guy shts out a lot of bindles and starts flushing them. This C/O then goes for dumb move #2 and legit tries to wrestle this Northerner off the toilet, which could go all bad; put hands on a Northerner and it's a green light for them to take off on you, and this guy would beat this C/Os ass. Luckily the Northerner is laughing too hard at how stupid this whole situation is that he doesn't attack the kid, some others hear the noise and come to help. Lucky this C/O was still on probation, so they should not have been on potty watch at all, so he couldn't get in trouble otherwise that would have cost him a lot.

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11-29-2023, 03:10 AM

#93

Working C Yard, I'm in Work Change which is were all inmates pass through to get to the vocation/education area. Nothing is running at the moment since the teachers take a lunch, so I'm just chilling with my friend between classes. We got info there is supposed to be a fight today, probably on the basketball court so we're just watching to see when that kicks off. As we are standing there suddenly a riot kicks off on the soccer field, 16 on 4; neat! I'm not a responder so I just kick back to watch as staff respond and form a riot line; they start slinging the tear gas grenades, this is fcking cool since I don't need to do a report!

Well wind direction is a bitch, all the tear gas just blows right off the yard and into no mans land, does fck all to the riot so they go in a use pepper spray. Inmates all get down, no major injuries, just fists and no weapons used. Guess some of them were drunk and running their mouths, started a little fight. About 2 minutes later as my partner and I are just watching the clean up when a group of medical staff come up to our back door and they look like they're hating life. Snot all over, eyes watering, coughing, crying; they come in and say "What happened, we were just walking and this cloud hit us" guess they never felt much tear gas before, it's fun!

We help them get decontaminated, ended up recalling and going into a lockdown for the day, easy as hell OT for me, I didn't do sht all day.

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11-29-2023, 03:17 AM

#94

How did you end up in a career such as corrections btw?

I assume from the set of others no-education public services job it is better than cop (higher risk of dying), fireman (same) but why not something like an EMT/Paramedic?

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11-29-2023, 03:17 AM

#95

Originally Posted By Akd123⏩

lol your just a POS CO.yeah ive been to prison.you aint tough.just cause you got these guys eating up your stories im not.guy gets stitches and you dont care.lawsuits happen all the time in prison.you wouldnt do chit in real life punk.you got the goon squad to back you up.i went to Statesville prison.what little bich min security prison you work at?and if that was me or my dad we would shank you if we didnt think we could win in court.either that guy was an idiot or he was a lifer or your making chit up.you arent tough.your just a wannabe cop.how is he gonna assault you in the back of a van?your so full of chit.they have to document everything.your making this chit up.you know it and i know it.i hope you piss off a lifer.you WILL GET FUKED UP!thats a promise

Posted proof before it's my actual job, as a State Employee I can be looked up, pay/compensation, years of service, it's all public information. As for the dumb sht, that's just how it is, I love what I do; and we do document 'everything', sure, always….

"Hey guy, I could write you up for that staff assault, I can get burned for instigating… or we both just fck off and forget this happened?"

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11-29-2023, 03:27 AM

#96

Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩

How did you end up in a career such as corrections btw?

I assume from the set of others no-education public services job it is better than cop (higher risk of dying), fireman (same) but why not something like an EMT/Paramedic?

SO I was maybe 10 or so when my brother-in-law joined, I looked up to him a lot and seeing him in his uniform was so cool to me. I wanted to be like him; he started early 2000s when sht was really wild; he was at Folsom back then when it was rolling. So I went to college to get an AS in Criminal Justice, wanted to join the CDCR or go police.

Days he'd come home (lived with us since it was close to work) and he'd have no uniform, like WTF? Guess it got covered in blood a lot. His Maglight flashlight, the old big one, was filled with concrete, they used those for batons back then.

But anyways…. I applied in 2011, then got told there was a State wide hiring freeze. Well, fck that, so I went to the Police Academy, I went through my college and got my Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST) certificate, but the damn hiring freeze was hitting; it's 2012 and no sign of it lifting. So I go and work at Wal-Mart, get up to nonsalaried management by 2014 when the State hits me up.

I get an email at 0200ish (I work nights) and it just said "CDCR, *this prison* yes or no, you have 48 hours to respond or be removed from selection" so I said yes, then Googled where this place is, never heard of it.

Started in 2015 and I could never do anything else again, I love my job so much, it's wild and fun; the adrenaline rushes are unbeatable.

As for why not something else, I am very good in conflict, I have great communication skills, work well under stress, it pays VERY well and pension/benefits are better than EMS/Fire. CHP gets better pay but they do work a lot harder; 90% of my time is doing fck nothing, we get paid for what occasionally happens; riots aren't daily as example.

I hate CPR but I'll fight a guy any day. Also, fck fire fighting, I can fight a person but I can't punch out fire.

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11-29-2023, 04:12 AM

#97

What's the worst beating/injury that you've gotten from an inmate and what's the story behind it? Any female COs ever get fired for having relations with inmates?

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11-29-2023, 04:39 AM

#98

Originally Posted By woadito⏩

What's the worst beating/injury that you've gotten from an inmate and what's the story behind it? Any female COs ever get fired for having relations with inmates?

Never really been injured by an inmate, worst work injury was, and this is dumb, tore the tendon in my ankle just walking down the stairs. It might have been injured from something else and I just mistepped, but yep tore the peroneal tendon; took a year to get the surgery done, I just kept working until a week before, I was wrecked, I could barely walk by then.

Surprisingly I've never (that's been reported) been assaulted really, guys in my face a lot but that's mostly it.

Yes, a few C/Os have been fired for that…. working Delta 2 and I come in for third watch (1400-2200 hours) and notice the female I normally relieve is not there, no one had said sht to me walking in. She was not too good looking, they called her Danny Trejo, but I guess her porter had been giving her attention; well over time she snuck in a phone for him and was sending him pictures, then fcking him in the supply closet. The porter's cell mate gets jealous and tells on them since she wont fck him too. She got fired on the spot, her pictures somehow leak… not bad but meh, and she threw away a 17 year career over an inmate. Great pay, benefits, pension…. all gone; she works security at Costco now, what a fall.

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11-29-2023, 07:10 AM

#99

Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩

Luckily only did Sht Sheriff a few times; you're not supposed to do it at all until you have at least a year in, but that never happens, always the new guy on it.

So I'm working contraband watch, first time doing it and the inmate flat out tells me he has no drugs and he plans to just poop so he can get out of here. Great, maybe an hour into my shift he has to sht. I get the toilet chair and a bucket with a trash bag for him to sht into. I have to just stand there while he unloads into this bucket, then I get to take this bag full of sht and go play with it, feeling for bindles in the turds. Because this is what I want to do with my day. Play with another mans sht. Fcking awesome! No drugs though, guy sht clean enough times to be cleared so I got to just go back to the yard and have a more normal day.

Best potty watch though, luckily this happened to someone else. So this new kid is doing potty watch because no one else wants to, but when they tried to explain to him how to do it he just blew them off, 3 months in and he knows it all already. So fck it, he doesn't want help so no one is going to waste their time on him.

Well, the inmate he is sitting on is this big Northerner, and the inmate knows this kid is new so he tells the C/O he has to poop, and that he needs to take off the handcuffs and waist irons and let him use the bathroom. Fcking no, it's potty watch for a reason, restraints stay on and they poop in a bag and not the toilet. But this new guy knows it all! So he just uncuffs this inmate and lets him use the toilet, well the guy shts out a lot of bindles and starts flushing them. This C/O then goes for dumb move #2 and legit tries to wrestle this Northerner off the toilet, which could go all bad; put hands on a Northerner and it's a green light for them to take off on you, and this guy would beat this C/Os ass. Luckily the Northerner is laughing too hard at how stupid this whole situation is that he doesn't attack the kid, some others hear the noise and come to help. Lucky this C/O was still on probation, so they should not have been on potty watch at all, so he couldn't get in trouble otherwise that would have cost him a lot.

Got damn the kid is dumb…. When I worked at HDSP potty watch was going on all the time, and as a new cop guess who got assigned to it? There where a few times were potty watch took over an entire building. Literally all inmates moved off the top tier and potty watch went in. It at least made it fun! Having about 15-20 people to bull**** with for 16 hours was ok. I learned right away to be cool with the inmate as they would appreciate that and not **** on my watch. I remember sitting on a the same inmate for 2 days (16 hours because I got held). That fell into my RDO's. 3 days later I came back and he told me he dropped a 6 inch shank. I said thanks for not letting me have that and he laughed.

Another time I was "specially assigned" (investigations unit tried to make me feel special) to sit on a AB member. A few days before they told him he was moving to another prison (probably Pelican bay, but I do not remember). So they were trying to catch him…. Well within an hour of my shift he said **** it and dropped a kite with some razor blades rolled up inside.

Another time when I was pretty new at Old Folsom I was working in Unit 1 (biggest building) on 3rd watch. I get a call from the SGTs and go to the office. They say I am going to potty watch. Yay me! When I get to adseg the inmate is already dressed down and sitting on the ****ter with the bucket. Two guys from the investigations unit are already on him and got him to drop what he had pretty quick. Lucky it was pretty fresh going up in there…. Low and behold I got 1.7 grams of meth, bundled together in like 8-10 little baggies. spent the rest of the night processing that and writing me report. A few months later I went to court on it. Met with the D/A before hand and gave me the rundown ect… During the hearing they were trying to figure out where I was after 10pm and why my name wasn't in the cell sheet. You know the log where we make notes of what they are doing every 15-30 minutes. Easy answer for me. I was working 3rd watch that day and my hours were 2-10, so my name would not appear during the times you where trying to reference. As for not having my name on the log during the 2-10pm hours, I was processing the meth and writing my report. During that time another officer covered me while the inmate was in the cell. Mic drop moment for me. The inmates lawyer said ok nvm… Then looked and that judge and he laughed.

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11-29-2023, 09:21 AM

#100

Originally Posted By jwtiger69⏩

Got damn the kid is dumb…. When I worked at HDSP potty watch was going on all the time, and as a new cop guess who got assigned to it? There where a few times were potty watch took over an entire building. Literally all inmates moved off the top tier and potty watch went in. It at least made it fun! Having about 15-20 people to bull**** with for 16 hours was ok. I learned right away to be cool with the inmate as they would appreciate that and not **** on my watch. I remember sitting on a the same inmate for 2 days (16 hours because I got held). That fell into my RDO's. 3 days later I came back and he told me he dropped a 6 inch shank. I said thanks for not letting me have that and he laughed.

Another time I was "specially assigned" (investigations unit tried to make me feel special) to sit on a AB member. A few days before they told him he was moving to another prison (probably Pelican bay, but I do not remember). So they were trying to catch him…. Well within an hour of my shift he said **** it and dropped a kite with some razor blades rolled up inside.

Another time when I was pretty new at Old Folsom I was working in Unit 1 (biggest building) on 3rd watch. I get a call from the SGTs and go to the office. They say I am going to potty watch. Yay me! When I get to adseg the inmate is already dressed down and sitting on the ****ter with the bucket. Two guys from the investigations unit are already on him and got him to drop what he had pretty quick. Lucky it was pretty fresh going up in there…. Low and behold I got 1.7 grams of meth, bundled together in like 8-10 little baggies. spent the rest of the night processing that and writing me report. A few months later I went to court on it. Met with the D/A before hand and gave me the rundown ect… During the hearing they were trying to figure out where I was after 10pm and why my name wasn't in the cell sheet. You know the log where we make notes of what they are doing every 15-30 minutes. Easy answer for me. I was working 3rd watch that day and my hours were 2-10, so my name would not appear during the times you where trying to reference. As for not having my name on the log during the 2-10pm hours, I was processing the meth and writing my report. During that time another officer covered me while the inmate was in the cell. Mic drop moment for me. The inmates lawyer said ok nvm… Then looked and that judge and he laughed.

Lol. I'm new and working C Yard, an OG cop tells me "Hey, what's that!" while pointing at a metal grate. I look and find 4 weapons, dammit. Now I have to check them into evidence, sht. I never look when people say 'look' now.

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11-29-2023, 09:50 AM

#101

Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩

Lol. I'm new and working C Yard, an OG cop tells me "Hey, what's that!" while pointing at a metal grate. I look and find 4 weapons, dammit. Now I have to check them into evidence, sht. I never look when people say 'look' now.

Haha…. Thats funny! The worst I got was making fun of my boots for being shiny. Never really had any issues where I was F'ed with like that. But that was like a life time ago, so I probably do not remember. I only remember the interesting stuff, like my first 2 stabbings, riots ect.

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11-29-2023, 11:11 AM

#102

Amazing stories

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12-03-2023, 11:33 PM

#103

Worked 96 hours this week, few funny stories because that's just work at this point.

At work and over the radio "All Alpha Rovers 49 (walk to) Alpha 5" well dammit it's 0012 hours and I just want to do my counts. We all walk over and in cell 201 is a guy high as fck on spice (synthetics THC). He has all his property pushed against the cell door, C/O on the door is telling him to move it so we can see him, guy just says "No, I can't, someone put a bomb in here, you got to get me out, I'll die if I move."

Well fck, guess this is how it's gonna be tonight, I just wanted to finish count and poop. My partner, funny guy, just says "Hey, we called the bomb squad, don't trip, but we need to get you out now! Move this stuff and cuff up so we can get you out!" Is this sht real, I'm almost shtting my pants already and now I am laughing so hard I am about to go sht in this guys cell. But he moves his property and cuffs up, no more issues; guy was so high we had to carry him out to the ambulance.

Don't do drugs kids.

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12-04-2023, 01:50 AM

#104

Just opened this thread on the part where you have to feel through a bag of feces for drugs.

I live a sheltered life.

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12-04-2023, 10:17 AM

#105

Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩

Worked 96 hours this week, few funny stories because that's just work at this point.

At work and over the radio "All Alpha Rovers 49 (walk to) Alpha 5" well dammit it's 0012 hours and I just want to do my counts. We all walk over and in cell 201 is a guy high as fck on spice (synthetics THC). He has all his property pushed against the cell door, C/O on the door is telling him to move it so we can see him, guy just says "No, I can't, someone put a bomb in here, you got to get me out, I'll die if I move."

Well fck, guess this is how it's gonna be tonight, I just wanted to finish count and poop. My partner, funny guy, just says "Hey, we called the bomb squad, don't trip, but we need to get you out now! Move this stuff and cuff up so we can get you out!" Is this sht real, I'm almost shtting my pants already and now I am laughing so hard I am about to go sht in this guys cell. But he moves his property and cuffs up, no more issues; guy was so high we had to carry him out to the ambulance.

Don't do drugs kids.

Lmao fuark

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12-04-2023, 10:29 AM

#106

Oh ****. lol In!

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12-04-2023, 10:41 AM

#107

I started in corrections in 1994. I’m retired now. Never heard of sorting thru an inmate’s chit before. Closest thing would be shutting off their water so they can’t flush just before going in for a shake down.

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12-04-2023, 07:27 PM

#108

Originally Posted By FoulSmell⏩

I started in corrections in 1994. I’m retired now. Never heard of sorting thru an inmate’s chit before. Closest thing would be shutting off their water so they can’t flush just before going in for a shake down.

Same, dry cells or turn water off. fuk digging through someone elses chit lol

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12-04-2023, 09:11 PM

#109

Originally Posted By CuttyUnderleaf⏩

Oh ****. lol In!

Originally Posted By FoulSmell⏩

I started in corrections in 1994. I’m retired now. Never heard of sorting thru an inmate’s chit before. Closest thing would be shutting off their water so they can’t flush just before going in for a shake down.

Not too common but yep, if we think they have something, we will find it.

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12-05-2023, 02:24 PM

#110

Originally Posted By FoulSmell⏩

I started in corrections in 1994. I’m retired now. Never heard of sorting thru an inmate’s chit before. Closest thing would be shutting off their water so they can’t flush just before going in for a shake down.

strong name to post to career

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12-05-2023, 08:17 PM

#111

Are conjugal visits a real thing?

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12-05-2023, 08:23 PM

#112

Originally Posted By InPhase⏩

Are conjugal visits a real thing?

in some prisons yes

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12-05-2023, 09:34 PM

#113

Damn this thread is great.

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12-06-2023, 10:45 AM

#114

Originally Posted By OptimusTrajan⏩

Damn this thread is great.

This

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12-06-2023, 10:47 AM

#115

About to head in for my shift, stay safe everyone

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12-06-2023, 11:59 AM

#116

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12-12-2023, 12:58 PM

#117

Lol

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12-12-2023, 09:26 PM

#118

Originally Posted By InPhase⏩

Are conjugal visits a real thing?

We call it 'family visit' but yes; only relatives can take part or spouses, they get like 5 days in what looks like a studio apartment to spend with family.

Been busy the last few days, sick as fck and working a lot but figured I’ll dump some more since people still seem to be enjoying this.

Enjoying a nice cigar while typing these so pretty enjoyable with some Buffalo Trace.

Doing my count at night, and an inmate says “Hey C/O!” Now as a rule, when doing counts or checks at night, do NOT talk to any inmates, because if you do than you just bought whatever problem they have and that is not work you want in the middle of the night. Usually it’s they want to roll up off the yard which is a lot of paperwork… nah, he can wait, he has 2 inches of steel between him and any threat.

Unless they’re screaming Man Down or Help! Than I ain’t stopping.

So this guys tries to call to me and I say “Not now I’m cou…. sht.” Dude is covered in blood, face and nose busted in so much they are pushed in. Welp, that’s a reason to stop. I ask him what happened and he tells me he fell off the bunk and into the desk, yeah I’ve heard that one a time or 2. I tell him to step back and call his cellie over, he gives me the same story. I do a knuckle check; cellie has no marks on him at all, you don’t beat someone that bad and get no marks. Turns out the guy did just fall off the top bunk and went face first into the desk.

I get all my partners there, we take the guy out and call medical; inmate goes out to the hospital and spends a week there; broke his nose, both orbital bones, got a concussion, fractured cheek bone. The desk remains undefeated!

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12-12-2023, 09:34 PM

#119

Working with a guy, funny dude and a semi pro bodybuilder, also fcks with people hard. I love working with him, always stir sht up. But it's 2110, we are doing our last count of the night, shift is almost over and I see him stop at a cell and talk to an inmate, I go over and I guess the inmate is trying to roll up, nah motherfcker you had all day, we ain't doing this now. Our control booth is looking out the window and asks us what's up. Loud as he can yell my partner says "He says his ass hurts, really bad!" inmate freaks out and says "No, no that's not what I said!"

My partner faces the door and yells "What? You ass is bleeding?" Inmate just says "No, I'm fine, I'm fine!" good, we finish count and leave. I hate when they try to pull that sht at the end of the shift, they do it since the prison is locked up so they can try and roll up acting like it's a medical issue to look like less of a bitch.

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12-13-2023, 09:15 AM

#120

Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩

We call it 'family visit' but yes; only relatives can take part or spouses, they get like 5 days in what looks like a studio apartment to spend with family.

Been busy the last few days, sick as fck and working a lot but figured I’ll dump some more since people still seem to be enjoying this.

Enjoying a nice cigar while typing these so pretty enjoyable with some Buffalo Trace.

Doing my count at night, and an inmate says “Hey C/O!” Now as a rule, when doing counts or checks at night, do NOT talk to any inmates, because if you do than you just bought whatever problem they have and that is not work you want in the middle of the night. Usually it’s they want to roll up off the yard which is a lot of paperwork… nah, he can wait, he has 2 inches of steel between him and any threat.

Unless they’re screaming Man Down or Help! Than I ain’t stopping.

So this guys tries to call to me and I say “Not now I’m cou…. sht.” Dude is covered in blood, face and nose busted in so much they are pushed in. Welp, that’s a reason to stop. I ask him what happened and he tells me he fell off the bunk and into the desk, yeah I’ve heard that one a time or 2. I tell him to step back and call his cellie over, he gives me the same story. I do a knuckle check; cellie has no marks on him at all, you don’t beat someone that bad and get no marks. Turns out the guy did just fall off the top bunk and went face first into the desk.

I get all my partners there, we take the guy out and call medical; inmate goes out to the hospital and spends a week there; broke his nose, both orbital bones, got a concussion, fractured cheek bone. The desk remains undefeated!

Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩

Working with a guy, funny dude and a semi pro bodybuilder, also fcks with people hard. I love working with him, always stir sht up. But it's 2110, we are doing our last count of the night, shift is almost over and I see him stop at a cell and talk to an inmate, I go over and I guess the inmate is trying to roll up, nah motherfcker you had all day, we ain't doing this now. Our control booth is looking out the window and asks us what's up. Loud as he can yell my partner says "He says his ass hurts, really bad!" inmate freaks out and says "No, no that's not what I said!"

My partner faces the door and yells "What? You ass is bleeding?" Inmate just says "No, I'm fine, I'm fine!" good, we finish count and leave. I hate when they try to pull that sht at the end of the shift, they do it since the prison is locked up so they can try and roll up acting like it's a medical issue to look like less of a bitch.

Mirin cigar and mirin the new stories!

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Thread: Yo Gbullock32 could you tell us some crazy prison stories? Srs