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What Are Your Thoughts On Life? (Deep Thinking or In General)(srs)
08-07-2016, 01:37 AM
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#121
08-07-2016, 02:32 AM
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#122
- SofaKingSlow
- Bill Murray Brah
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- SofaKingSlow
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I am at a weird point in life myself. As I approach 30, I'm thinking what the heck am I doing any of this for? Everything I've done in life has not been because I want to, it's just what I'm "supposed" to do. I feel like I followed whatever opportunity was available and as a result, I don't even know what I like or have a passion for. And that kind of thinking left me in kind of in a rut. I refuse to make a choice right now as I'm afraid of the paths I can see for myself.
1. continue to stay corporate and fall into the trap of spending time at a job I don't care for to accumulate wealth, feeling meh cause I spend most of the day doing something I don't want to do, buy things to temporarily subdue that feeling, repeat.
2. Leave and try to find something I'd enjoy more, but possibly have to reset my life for what feels like the 5th time. And there's the good chance whatever I try next would'nt be my cup of tea either lol.
1. continue to stay corporate and fall into the trap of spending time at a job I don't care for to accumulate wealth, feeling meh cause I spend most of the day doing something I don't want to do, buy things to temporarily subdue that feeling, repeat.
2. Leave and try to find something I'd enjoy more, but possibly have to reset my life for what feels like the 5th time. And there's the good chance whatever I try next would'nt be my cup of tea either lol.
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08-07-2016, 03:03 AM
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#123
As a very basic description I'd say the meaning of life is to balance responsibility with the things you enjoy.
That being said, life isn't always fair. You have to bust your ass working to get things, and sometimes youl encounter fuked up situations caused by rotten people.
From a deeper description, I think the universe was created simply for God's entertainment and amusement.
That being said, life isn't always fair. You have to bust your ass working to get things, and sometimes youl encounter fuked up situations caused by rotten people.
From a deeper description, I think the universe was created simply for God's entertainment and amusement.
Merica
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RIP YGST
08-07-2016, 03:17 AM
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#124
- KILLdante
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- KILLdante
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sucks atm. kinda have just let myself fall apart. physically and mentally.
have had some great opportunities fly by me because my mood is "meh why even bother" 90% of the time.
have had some great opportunities fly by me because my mood is "meh why even bother" 90% of the time.
"What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms." - Thomas Jefferson
08-07-2016, 08:01 AM
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#125
Originally Posted By KILLdante⏩
I feel similar to you pretty frequently. What kind of opportunities do you think you've missed?sucks atm. kinda have just let myself fall apart. physically and mentally.
have had some great opportunities fly by me because my mood is "meh why even bother" 90% of the time.
have had some great opportunities fly by me because my mood is "meh why even bother" 90% of the time.
08-07-2016, 09:08 AM
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#126
- faxanadu
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- faxanadu
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Originally Posted By SofaKingSlow⏩
Here is the thing that most people don't seem to get and which ties into the video i posted about being a wolf and completion earlier...I am at a weird point in life myself. As I approach 30, I'm thinking what the heck am I doing any of this for? Everything I've done in life has not been because I want to, it's just what I'm "supposed" to do. I feel like I followed whatever opportunity was available and as a result, I don't even know what I like or have a passion for. And that kind of thinking left me in kind of in a rut. I refuse to make a choice right now as I'm afraid of the paths I can see for myself.
1. continue to stay corporate and fall into the trap of spending time at a job I don't care for to accumulate wealth, feeling meh cause I spend most of the day doing something I don't want to do, buy things to temporarily subdue that feeling, repeat.
2. Leave and try to find something I'd enjoy more, but possibly have to reset my life for what feels like the 5th time. And there's the good chance whatever I try next would'nt be my cup of tea either lol.
1. continue to stay corporate and fall into the trap of spending time at a job I don't care for to accumulate wealth, feeling meh cause I spend most of the day doing something I don't want to do, buy things to temporarily subdue that feeling, repeat.
2. Leave and try to find something I'd enjoy more, but possibly have to reset my life for what feels like the 5th time. And there's the good chance whatever I try next would'nt be my cup of tea either lol.
IT IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH. THERE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
This is why people steal chit, why leaders that have everything take more, why celebrities that have everything fuk it up with drugs, why you waste your time chasing the next dollar and are still unsatisfied. Even people that spend their entire lives helping other people can't seem to help enough people.There is always someone with more and there is always more that you feel you need to do.
The other thing most people don't realize is that...
EXPECTATIONS ARE OFTEN CRIPPLING.
Don't like your job but don't want to quit because you're not sure the other path will meet your expectations? Don't like where you're at in life ... expected i to be better? Had a 20 in blackjack and the dealer just hit three 7's for a 21 and now your angry because you expected to win?When you least expect it ... life will fuk your plans up!
“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.” - Dan Millman
What does all this mean? It means let go of all the could'a/would'a/should'a bullchit. There is no specific endgame, no finish line, or absoluteness. Movement is life... the journey itself is what it is all about.Failure is something people just make up in their head for an outcome the "expected" to be different.The truth is ... there is no such thing as failure... there is only results and how you interpret them. If there is one thing i've learned from playing millions of hands of poker its this:
You can play everything perfectly and still get phucked. Likewise, you can do everything poorly and still win. Just do your best, do what feels right, and let the cards fall where they may. Control is an illusion. Theonlything you control is your effort and thoughts on events as they happen.
"There's a fine line between salvation and drinking poison in the jungle." -Gym Jones
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
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08-07-2016, 10:57 AM
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#127
- SofaKingSlow
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
Everything you said is similar to a conclusion I've had as of late. It's a good resolution and also a horrible one, it's all in how one perceives the fact that there is no finish line.Here is the thing that most people don't seem to get and which ties into the video i posted about being a wolf and completion earlier...
IT IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH. THERE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
This is why people steal chit, why leaders that have everything take more, why celebrities that have everything fuk it up with drugs, why you waste your time chasing the next dollar and are still unsatisfied. Even people that spend their entire lives helping other people can't seem to help enough people.There is always someone with more and there is always more that you feel you need to do.
The other thing most people don't realize is that...
EXPECTATIONS ARE OFTEN CRIPPLING.
Don't like your job but don't want to quit because you're not sure the other path will meet your expectations? Don't like where you're at in life ... expected i to be better? Had a 20 in blackjack and the dealer just hit three 7's for a 21 and now your angry because you expected to win?When you least expect it ... life will fuk your plans up!
“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.” - Dan Millman
What does all this mean? It means let go of all the could'a/would'a/should'a bullchit. There is no specific endgame, no finish line, or absoluteness. Movement is life... the journey itself is what it is all about.Failure is something people just make up in their head for an outcome the "expected" to be different.The truth is ... there is no such thing as failure... there is only results and how you interpret them. If there is one thing i've learned from playing millions of hands of poker its this:
You can play everything perfectly and still get phucked. Likewise, you can do everything poorly and still win. Just do your best, do what feels right, and let the cards fall where they may. Control is an illusion. Theonlything you control is your effort and thoughts on events as they happen.
IT IS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH. THERE WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
This is why people steal chit, why leaders that have everything take more, why celebrities that have everything fuk it up with drugs, why you waste your time chasing the next dollar and are still unsatisfied. Even people that spend their entire lives helping other people can't seem to help enough people.There is always someone with more and there is always more that you feel you need to do.
The other thing most people don't realize is that...
EXPECTATIONS ARE OFTEN CRIPPLING.
Don't like your job but don't want to quit because you're not sure the other path will meet your expectations? Don't like where you're at in life ... expected i to be better? Had a 20 in blackjack and the dealer just hit three 7's for a 21 and now your angry because you expected to win?When you least expect it ... life will fuk your plans up!
“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.” - Dan Millman
What does all this mean? It means let go of all the could'a/would'a/should'a bullchit. There is no specific endgame, no finish line, or absoluteness. Movement is life... the journey itself is what it is all about.Failure is something people just make up in their head for an outcome the "expected" to be different.The truth is ... there is no such thing as failure... there is only results and how you interpret them. If there is one thing i've learned from playing millions of hands of poker its this:
You can play everything perfectly and still get phucked. Likewise, you can do everything poorly and still win. Just do your best, do what feels right, and let the cards fall where they may. Control is an illusion. Theonlything you control is your effort and thoughts on events as they happen.
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http://steamcommunity.com/id/CNBFTBGB/
08-07-2016, 11:09 AM
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#128
- Purostaff
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Originally Posted By Auzthetics⏩
This is the correct answer.I live my life one quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters. Not the mortgage.. not the store.. not my team and all their bull****..
For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.
For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.
On a more cereal note. Life is what you make it. Make the best of what you have and do whatever makes you happy. Don't compare yourself to others. If you're unhappy where you are now, don't just cry but actually do something about it. Now I know there are some people who are born in a less fortunate circumstances and do not have as much freedom or choices are most of us do, but they, too, can be happy. It's the little things you take for granted. Just take it easy, know your priorities, and do what you love. I know it's cliche as hell, but it's really that simple in my view.
Cheers
08-07-2016, 09:02 PM
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#129
- DeadlyStriker
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- DeadlyStriker
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Keep going brahs. Will respond to some later. Some good chit in here.
Miscers surprising me with some wisdom
Miscers surprising me with some wisdom
08-08-2016, 03:50 AM
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#130
- Ashfrolicious
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- Ashfrolicious
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Excellent thread OP.... reps coming your way.
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
Positive Crew
Dentist Crew
Seen the Eiffel Tower but haven't been to France Crew
"Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny."
08-08-2016, 04:51 AM
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#131
- socrates07
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- socrates07
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ant farm designed by god cuz he was bored
Actually prefer Plato crew
Disregard Everything, Acquire Aesthetics Crew
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"Which desirest thou the most? Is it the gratification of thy desires of each day, a jewel, a bit of
finery, better raiment, more food; things quickly gone and forgotten? Or is it substantial belongings,
gold, lands, herds, merchandise, income-bringing investments? The coins thou takest from thy purse
bring the first. The coins thou leavest within it will bring the latter."
08-08-2016, 09:52 AM
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#132
- DeadlyStriker
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Originally Posted By Ashfrolicious⏩
Thanks brah and thanks for the input.Excellent thread OP.... reps coming your way.
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
Honestly that video was probably one of the most logical, well explained things i have ever heard. Once you hear it it sounds so simple. Going to binge watch his vids later when I have time. I am glad you showed us that. Puts things into perspective
Originally Posted By socrates07⏩
Why was he bored?ant farm designed by god cuz he was bored
08-08-2016, 10:00 AM
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#133
- YesWayNoWeigh
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Originally Posted By Ashfrolicious⏩
can confirm he is wise.. i used to watch alot of his stuff on youtubeExcellent thread OP.... reps coming your way.
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
Anyway, when I was younger and would dabble in towelling (cough cough)... I would often get epiphanies. Truth be told, they were life-changing. I would be forced at times to face myself, why I think the way I do, and what I can do to make my life much better.Most interestingly, I had to face my own ego...
What do I mean by much better? Doing things I would not normally do. Thinking differently about approaching hurdles, and reflecting/consolidating in a more constructive manner rather than focusing on the worst case scenario as my standard.
The Indian mystic, Sadhguru, is my favourite speaker of many of these metaphysical and philosophical discourses....
A MUST WATCH
RedskinsO'sWizards
08-08-2016, 10:05 AM
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#134
- Ashfrolicious
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Originally Posted By DeadlyStriker⏩
Haha cheers.Thanks brah and thanks for the input.
Honestly that video was probably one of the most logical, well explained things i have ever heard. Once you hear it it sounds so simple. Going to binge watch his vids later when I have time. I am glad you showed us that. Puts things into perspective
Honestly that video was probably one of the most logical, well explained things i have ever heard. Once you hear it it sounds so simple. Going to binge watch his vids later when I have time. I am glad you showed us that. Puts things into perspective
He makes lots of interesting statements about many things affecting us everyday - existential crisis, money, goals, life, marriage, love, happiness, calming yourself, meditation etc.
This is a really excellent topic... something that should be talked about more! Not this mundane nonsense everyday of ********, superfluous media, and other bullchit that doesn't really matter. Guys like Sadhguru and even prominent intellectuals should be given a greater stage in the world to speak of these things... and the media should give such topics more voice. People should be more encouraged to THINK about such things, rather than worry about useless things.
Pisses me off to no end seeing ANYTHING to do with the Kardashians etc in the media. Fuk that pointless dribble and those vapid, vacuous people [/rant over].
[QUOTE=YesWayNoWeigh post_id=1456623753]can confirm he is wise.. i used to watch alot of his stuff on youtube[/QUOTE]
Whenever I feel at some wall/trouble/hindrance etc with life or the world around me... or even myself.... I like to watch his relevant videos.
He has a very calming presence.
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"Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny."
08-08-2016, 10:20 AM
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#135
- LexBrah
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Have goals then work towards them, achieve them and then reset further goals.
Make lots of kickass memories, spend time with friends, do fun activites, make yourself sweat doing something atleast once per day, always continue to grow/evolve as a character each day. Eat nice food, drink nice drinks, improve yourself, read books, grow as a person.
These are the only real rules I follow.
I got a bit depressed, well not really depressed, but felt very, very lost earlier in the year. I had achieved all my long term goals, didnt know where to go from there. Felt like I should try and enjoy what I have, rather than taking it for granted and working towards the next thing and constantly being stressed out. However, when I tried enjoying what I had and put everything on a back burner, I found myself becoming incredibly bored. When you wake up in the morning and you have nothing to work towards or no goal, and its just 'enjoy yourself' its the most lonely, mind boggingly boring thing in the world.
I should achieve my next goal in the next 7-10 years and by then Id like to think I have children so can look after them.
Make lots of kickass memories, spend time with friends, do fun activites, make yourself sweat doing something atleast once per day, always continue to grow/evolve as a character each day. Eat nice food, drink nice drinks, improve yourself, read books, grow as a person.
These are the only real rules I follow.
I got a bit depressed, well not really depressed, but felt very, very lost earlier in the year. I had achieved all my long term goals, didnt know where to go from there. Felt like I should try and enjoy what I have, rather than taking it for granted and working towards the next thing and constantly being stressed out. However, when I tried enjoying what I had and put everything on a back burner, I found myself becoming incredibly bored. When you wake up in the morning and you have nothing to work towards or no goal, and its just 'enjoy yourself' its the most lonely, mind boggingly boring thing in the world.
I should achieve my next goal in the next 7-10 years and by then Id like to think I have children so can look after them.
08-09-2016, 12:29 AM
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#136
- DahStoryTella
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Originally Posted By DeadlyStriker⏩
I wish I could just end it because I believe that I will always be somewhat of a failure and that I'm just another one of the billions in the world. I will never be a "success" by my standards, probably because of my upbringing mixed with how I responded to said upbringing. I'm not just going to blame the cards that I was dealt because I feel that people have had worse upbringings than mine and managed to get close to their self-actualization. I blame myself for not being able to deal with what I was given.Why? You didn't explain why you wish you could just end it?
It doesn't make sense to me. I had down moments in my life. A lot actually. But I never viewed it as I was depressed necessarily. Down, yes, but I always see the good in everything.
What do you like to do? What do you wish your life could be like? Don't give me the "just wanna be dead" answer. If you had to pick a perfect life, what would it be like?
It doesn't make sense to me. I had down moments in my life. A lot actually. But I never viewed it as I was depressed necessarily. Down, yes, but I always see the good in everything.
What do you like to do? What do you wish your life could be like? Don't give me the "just wanna be dead" answer. If you had to pick a perfect life, what would it be like?
I'm stuck in the/angry with my past because I feel that I should be "better" than who I am today; I believe that people are products of their past. Unfortunately, I can't rewrite my own history to become who I should have. Then again, I often wonder who that dude even is. However, I'm pretty sure that he isn't some socially anxious, majorly depressed 24 year old, with the mind of a bitter, old man who is always a few bad instances away from wishing that he was dead.
Regardless, I believe that I will always be a failure to some degree and just be another person trying to make the best of what they have left. I'd rather not live such a life, but I unfortunately love my mother, have attachments to other close people and I'm too weak to commit suicide so here I am. It's arrogant, I know. Believe it or not, there are times when I'm content with simply working hard to make the best of what I have and focus on the present and future. Then, there are other times where I get jealous, angry and/or depressed when I see people close to my age or younger doing things that I wish I could do or could have done if I had the right path to do so when I was younger. I immediately start having thoughts like "f**k these people" or "I wish I was pushed harder when I was younger. Maybe I'd have been in their position if that was the case."
I'm keeping it short because I don't want to go into detail about issues such as being raised by a single mother that had a rough childhood herself which impacted her parenting of myself, and/or about how I'm angry about my pos biological father leaving right after I was born and eventually making another family.
To answer some of your other questions:
- I enjoy exercise, video games, hip-hop and I'm a third year university undergrad that often thinks about dropping out because I question if it's just a big waste of time. I don't really know who I would like to be nor do I have an idea of what a perfect life is. Maybe that's part of the problem. As far as academics go, I've always said that I'd like to reach a PhD/become a professor (psych major). However, I'm not entirely confident that I can achieve that goal.
Like I said, at the end of the day, f*ck life. I'm too soft to take myself out and unfortunately no one has taken me out. Hopefully I get smoked by the cops or something.
08-09-2016, 12:44 AM
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#137
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Originally Posted By DahStoryTella⏩
Hey man thanks for explaining. I feel you on that a little bit. Trust me. My family thinks I am a failure for the most part. I won't go into detail, but I don't have a good job making tons of money yet like a lot of my family. I don't exactly have a path of where I am going, etc.I wish I could just end it because I believe that I will always be somewhat of a failure and that I'm just another one of the billions in the world. I will never be a "success" by my standards, probably because of my upbringing mixed with how I responded to said upbringing. I'm not just going to blame the cards that I was dealt because I feel that people have had worse upbringings than mine and managed to get close to their self-actualization. I blame myself for not being able to deal with what I was given.
I'm stuck in the/angry with my past because I feel that I should be "better" than who I am today; I believe that people are products of their past. Unfortunately, I can't rewrite my own history to become who I should have. Then again, I often wonder who that dude even is. However, I'm pretty sure that he isn't some socially anxious, majorly depressed 24 year old, with the mind of a bitter, old man who is always a few bad instances away from wishing that he was dead.
Regardless, I believe that I will always be a failure to some degree and just be another person trying to make the best of what they have left. I'd rather not live such a life, but I unfortunately love my mother, have attachments to other close people and I'm too weak to commit suicide so here I am. It's arrogant, I know. Believe it or not, there are times when I'm content with simply working hard to make the best of what I have and focus on the present and future. Then, there are other times where I get jealous, angry and/or depressed when I see people close to my age or younger doing things that I wish I could do or could have done if I had the right path to do so when I was younger. I immediately start having thoughts like "f**k these people" or "I wish I was pushed harder when I was younger. Maybe I'd have been in their position if that was the case."
I'm keeping it short because I don't want to go into detail about issues such as being raised by a single mother that had a rough childhood herself, and/or about how I'm angry about my pos biological father leaving right after I was born and eventually making another family.
To answer some of your other questions:
- I enjoy exercise, video games, hip-hop and I'm a third year university undergrad that often thinks about dropping out because I question if it's just a big waste of time. I don't really know who I would like to be nor do I have an idea of what a perfect life is. Maybe that's part of the problem. As far as academics go, I've always said that I'd like to reach a PhD/become a professor (psych major). However, I'm not entirely confident that I can achieve that goal so I often think of dropping out.
Like I said, at the end of the day, f*ck life. I'm too soft to take myself out and unfortunately no one has taken me out. Hopefully I get smoked by the cops or something.
I'm stuck in the/angry with my past because I feel that I should be "better" than who I am today; I believe that people are products of their past. Unfortunately, I can't rewrite my own history to become who I should have. Then again, I often wonder who that dude even is. However, I'm pretty sure that he isn't some socially anxious, majorly depressed 24 year old, with the mind of a bitter, old man who is always a few bad instances away from wishing that he was dead.
Regardless, I believe that I will always be a failure to some degree and just be another person trying to make the best of what they have left. I'd rather not live such a life, but I unfortunately love my mother, have attachments to other close people and I'm too weak to commit suicide so here I am. It's arrogant, I know. Believe it or not, there are times when I'm content with simply working hard to make the best of what I have and focus on the present and future. Then, there are other times where I get jealous, angry and/or depressed when I see people close to my age or younger doing things that I wish I could do or could have done if I had the right path to do so when I was younger. I immediately start having thoughts like "f**k these people" or "I wish I was pushed harder when I was younger. Maybe I'd have been in their position if that was the case."
I'm keeping it short because I don't want to go into detail about issues such as being raised by a single mother that had a rough childhood herself, and/or about how I'm angry about my pos biological father leaving right after I was born and eventually making another family.
To answer some of your other questions:
- I enjoy exercise, video games, hip-hop and I'm a third year university undergrad that often thinks about dropping out because I question if it's just a big waste of time. I don't really know who I would like to be nor do I have an idea of what a perfect life is. Maybe that's part of the problem. As far as academics go, I've always said that I'd like to reach a PhD/become a professor (psych major). However, I'm not entirely confident that I can achieve that goal so I often think of dropping out.
Like I said, at the end of the day, f*ck life. I'm too soft to take myself out and unfortunately no one has taken me out. Hopefully I get smoked by the cops or something.
But you really need to work on your mind. 100% srs. I just made a thread about pessimism and not gonna lie, you are the epitome of a pessimist. I understand failing yourself. I spent so much time playing soccer and all through college, I planned on playing pro, I passed up going over seas to play for an academy in Croatia when I was 16, etc. In the end I just stopped playing soccer. It became my source of anger and frustration instead of my passion and fun. But through that I found lifting and powerlifting. And I can make a career through teaching people and athletes. It was like a calling when I thought I had nothing to work towards.
BUT, you need to start practicing on that inner dialogue. We all have it. I was always pretty optimistic, but I had times of just negative inner dialogue, especially with soccer. But after a sport psychologist came and spoke for my team, it changed my life. I started focusing on pushing myself and thinking positive over being negative when I was tire, sore, or hurt. I changed my life completely and have made threads about my physical change too.
But man you are young. No one has everything figured out. I don't yet. Some people do and have a path. Good for them. But what they do shouldn't matter to you. Focus on you. Make yourself better. Get more fit, get more into hip hop and go to meet ups and stuff. I beatbox and I have been for 12 years. Some dudes on here think it is cringy and laugh at me, others think it's cool. At the end of the day I couldn't give a fuk. I love it. It's how I express myself. Gonna be going to a lot of events and battles in the future. Don't care if people think it is lame.
keep rolling with the punches and see the good and opportunity in the world. You'll figure it out. Read my pessimism thread. srs.
08-09-2016, 03:05 AM
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#138
- Rexcalibr
- Handsome Rex
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- Rexcalibr
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Since everyone is so open,
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict, but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict, but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
-best poster of 2017 (haters are jealous as fuk lol ya'll can't see me i stay crispy)
08-09-2016, 09:03 PM
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#139
- faxanadu
- Registered User
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- faxanadu
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Originally Posted By DahStoryTella⏩
There is a whole chit ton of stuff you're not saying and keeping hidden. There is no way you can be as angry at life as you are with the situation you've described. I've met a wide variety of people in my life and i have a rule of thumb... "Whatever vulnerable details someone is willing to share about their life multiply it by 10 and that's the real extent of the problem." In your case, what you've described and your level of anger doesn't add up.I wish I could just end it because I believe that I will always be somewhat of a failure and that I'm just another one of the billions in the world. I will never be a "success" by my standards, probably because of my upbringing mixed with how I responded to said upbringing. I'm not just going to blame the cards that I was dealt because I feel that people have had worse upbringings than mine and managed to get close to their self-actualization. I blame myself for not being able to deal with what I was given.
I'm stuck in the/angry with my past because I feel that I should be "better" than who I am today; I believe that people are products of their past. Unfortunately, I can't rewrite my own history to become who I should have. Then again, I often wonder who that dude even is. However, I'm pretty sure that he isn't some socially anxious, majorly depressed 24 year old, with the mind of a bitter, old man who is always a few bad instances away from wishing that he was dead.
Regardless, I believe that I will always be a failure to some degree and just be another person trying to make the best of what they have left. I'd rather not live such a life, but I unfortunately love my mother, have attachments to other close people and I'm too weak to commit suicide so here I am. It's arrogant, I know. Believe it or not, there are times when I'm content with simply working hard to make the best of what I have and focus on the present and future. Then, there are other times where I get jealous, angry and/or depressed when I see people close to my age or younger doing things that I wish I could do or could have done if I had the right path to do so when I was younger. I immediately start having thoughts like "f**k these people" or "I wish I was pushed harder when I was younger. Maybe I'd have been in their position if that was the case."
I'm keeping it short because I don't want to go into detail about issues such as being raised by a single mother that had a rough childhood herself which impacted her parenting of myself, and/or about how I'm angry about my pos biological father leaving right after I was born and eventually making another family.
To answer some of your other questions:
- I enjoy exercise, video games, hip-hop and I'm a third year university undergrad that often thinks about dropping out because I question if it's just a big waste of time. I don't really know who I would like to be nor do I have an idea of what a perfect life is. Maybe that's part of the problem. As far as academics go, I've always said that I'd like to reach a PhD/become a professor (psych major). However, I'm not entirely confident that I can achieve that goal.
Like I said, at the end of the day, f*ck life. I'm too soft to take myself out and unfortunately no one has taken me out. Hopefully I get smoked by the cops or something.
I'm stuck in the/angry with my past because I feel that I should be "better" than who I am today; I believe that people are products of their past. Unfortunately, I can't rewrite my own history to become who I should have. Then again, I often wonder who that dude even is. However, I'm pretty sure that he isn't some socially anxious, majorly depressed 24 year old, with the mind of a bitter, old man who is always a few bad instances away from wishing that he was dead.
Regardless, I believe that I will always be a failure to some degree and just be another person trying to make the best of what they have left. I'd rather not live such a life, but I unfortunately love my mother, have attachments to other close people and I'm too weak to commit suicide so here I am. It's arrogant, I know. Believe it or not, there are times when I'm content with simply working hard to make the best of what I have and focus on the present and future. Then, there are other times where I get jealous, angry and/or depressed when I see people close to my age or younger doing things that I wish I could do or could have done if I had the right path to do so when I was younger. I immediately start having thoughts like "f**k these people" or "I wish I was pushed harder when I was younger. Maybe I'd have been in their position if that was the case."
I'm keeping it short because I don't want to go into detail about issues such as being raised by a single mother that had a rough childhood herself which impacted her parenting of myself, and/or about how I'm angry about my pos biological father leaving right after I was born and eventually making another family.
To answer some of your other questions:
- I enjoy exercise, video games, hip-hop and I'm a third year university undergrad that often thinks about dropping out because I question if it's just a big waste of time. I don't really know who I would like to be nor do I have an idea of what a perfect life is. Maybe that's part of the problem. As far as academics go, I've always said that I'd like to reach a PhD/become a professor (psych major). However, I'm not entirely confident that I can achieve that goal.
Like I said, at the end of the day, f*ck life. I'm too soft to take myself out and unfortunately no one has taken me out. Hopefully I get smoked by the cops or something.
You do realize that as a human being whatever questions you ask of yourself and life ... YOU WILL PROVIDE AN ANSWER.
So if you ask yourself a million times a day, "Why do i suck?" ... you will get a million negative answers from yourself confirming it. I'm not going to reinvent the wheel on this... so just watch this clip:
You want a way out of your mess? Start asking the right questions and don't answer based on what society expects, your mom expects, your father expects, your friends expect, or anyone/anything else. I bet you spend the majority of your time online playing video games or misc'ing. Turn all that chit off and go experience natureand embrace it like you were a little kid without any presumptions of the world around you. At some point in your life as a young kid or preteen, you were an empty slate. Then, over time, you let horrible question and horrible answers become the person you are right now. You must unlearn all that crap and the only way is to go back to the beginning.
"There's a fine line between salvation and drinking poison in the jungle." -Gym Jones
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
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08-09-2016, 09:34 PM
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#140
- faxanadu
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- faxanadu
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Originally Posted By Rexcalibr⏩
That's your ego giving you a reason not to stop. It's like someone with a gambling problem saying, "Well i only lost $100. That rich guy over there with the same problem just lost $100,000." Meanwhile, that rich guy is pointing at some billionaire and saying the same thing.Since everyone is so open,
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict,but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict,but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
The problem is that on some subconscious level your ego has you convinced that stopping is more painful than continuing. You've allowed your ego to overcome and silence the conscious part of you that absolutely knows what you're doing is idiotic. I'm willing to bet every time you give in ... you beat yourself up inside... and that in return hands your ego even more power making it harder to stop. I wrote the following while i suffered from similar issues:
"The duality is real. Sometimes the primal mind is so strong that the conscious mind becomes a casual observer... fully aware but almost helpless to change the script; Like the audience at a movie or play."
"There's a fine line between salvation and drinking poison in the jungle." -Gym Jones
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
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08-09-2016, 09:44 PM
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#141
- stewartrochet
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- stewartrochet
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life is basically 90% chit and 10% entertainment. i suffer from chronic progressive illness so the amount of ups and downs i have on the daily are sickening. makes it harder because i don't "look sick" and most people are generally ignorant for better or worse.
just getting through the work day leaves me getting home feeling like total chit most of the time. but if i don't work i'd go crazy sitting around - been there, done that. on the good days i am in a decent mood and have fun but the roller coaster is exhausting.
already almost died once and laying in the hospital bed i did not give one fuk - did not actively wish to die but did not feel the fight/survival instinct at all - was completely numb and indifferent. funny because before then i always feared death - or, at least, the unknown.
don't mean to be so negative - just what's in my dome right now.
just getting through the work day leaves me getting home feeling like total chit most of the time. but if i don't work i'd go crazy sitting around - been there, done that. on the good days i am in a decent mood and have fun but the roller coaster is exhausting.
already almost died once and laying in the hospital bed i did not give one fuk - did not actively wish to die but did not feel the fight/survival instinct at all - was completely numb and indifferent. funny because before then i always feared death - or, at least, the unknown.
don't mean to be so negative - just what's in my dome right now.
08-09-2016, 09:47 PM
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#142
Originally Posted By Rexcalibr⏩
Is there a reason you're still in? I wasn't happy either with a year left, but I decided to stick it out so I could deploy (which was worth it, the comradery was a lot better. Have you thought about getting out early? Some people try to say it's impossible, but idk if that's true or not.Since everyone is so open,
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict, but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
I'm not a happy person. I'm a major drug addict, but it's prescription sleeping pills so maybe I should be glad it's not something stronger, though it's taken me to the ER before after an overdose and I ended up having a concussion because the medication gets you really high if you stay awake. You start moving around, cleaning things, fixing things. One minute I'm cleaning my patio. The next, I'm in the hospital with a huge knot on my head.
Somewhere in the past year and a half, drugs became everything to me. I buy them from someone since I can't get them prescribed anymore so all my money goes to my addiction. I don't like being social or going out anymore. I lost a lot of drive and motivation that I used to have. I'm happiest now when I'm by myself.
Also, being stuck in the military makes me further unhappy but I have less than a year left and I'm finally out for good.
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08-09-2016, 10:45 PM
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#143
- faxanadu
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- faxanadu
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Of the thousands of people I've met in my life I've noticed most don't really want to solve their problems. Most of the time they just want people to listen and respond with affirmation. Most people can't admit the truth to themselves (assuming they even know their own truths ... most don't) and therefore aren't willing to hear it from other people.
The most ridiculous thing is, since the people you let into your life are usually a reflection of yourself ... the people they're asking for advice/help are generally as screwed up as they are. Which means that the opinion/help they're going to get is going to be no better than their own internal diatribe, OR, weak and uncaring because the person they've confided in has their own problems to deal with.
You absolutely must seek out people that have things right and emulate them.
The most ridiculous thing is, since the people you let into your life are usually a reflection of yourself ... the people they're asking for advice/help are generally as screwed up as they are. Which means that the opinion/help they're going to get is going to be no better than their own internal diatribe, OR, weak and uncaring because the person they've confided in has their own problems to deal with.
You absolutely must seek out people that have things right and emulate them.
"There's a fine line between salvation and drinking poison in the jungle." -Gym Jones
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius
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