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» Srs no joking tonight :'(
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post 1517432311 08-26-2017, 03:03 AM
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#151
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You're not special to them. Go nc and build your own castle and rule it with an iron fist. Repent and love the lord (srs)
post 1517440631 08-26-2017, 07:09 AM
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#152
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You need male friends OP.
post 1517440741 08-26-2017, 07:12 AM
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#153
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Originally Posted By JewSeeJohn
Dude, people only want to be friends with you when they can use you for something.

I learned this chit when I was like 16, are you 16 ?
So not true, you're just bitter and need better friends man.
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Be the reason someone smiles today

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post 1517440891 08-26-2017, 07:16 AM
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#154
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Originally Posted By hoganrulz
Only read cliffs, but you really shouldn't worry, friends are hard to come by nowadays with the interwebz, the only people who actually have friends are down for each other are the ones that grew up together, everybody else just focusses their love and attention on family and has a bunch of acquaintances.
Some of my best friends I have not known most of my life, one is like a literal brother to me. Sorry brosef, I have to disagree with you on this one.
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Be the reason someone smiles today

Fight the good fight every moment
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It's your only way -Triumph
post 1517441071 08-26-2017, 07:19 AM
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#155
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Originally Posted By JaymzJ
Some of my best friends I have not known most of my life, one is like a literal brother to me. Sorry brosef, I have to disagree with you on this one.
how dare you not agree!!!!!

im only messing breh, good for you mayne! tbh my best friend ive only known since 17 aswell, but in my experience, it seems very rare that you could/would be like brothers with someone who you havent come up with, or at least been through major chit with together
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post 1517441281 08-26-2017, 07:24 AM
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#156
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It's harder to find good mates than it is to find a good partner . I feel for ya op ,
Um....yeah...I dunno man 🐙 6'7 l 110kg/244lbs 🐙

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post 1517441291 08-26-2017, 07:24 AM
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4 close friends is plenty tbh. i would say i have like <10 close friends, everyone past that are like "good acquaintances" not people that i'm actually close with.
post 1517441781 08-26-2017, 07:33 AM
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#158
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Originally Posted By hoganrulz
how dare you not agree!!!!!

im only messing breh, good for you mayne! tbh my best friend ive only known since 17 aswell, but in my experience, it seems very rare that you could/would be like brothers with someone who you havent come up with, or at least been through major chit with together
We all live in different areas and we all have different experiences that shape how we think and who we are also. You are right though about it being rare, it's hard to find truly good, close friends. I like to think I am a good judge of character and you are one character I enjoy having around dawg
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post 1517441941 08-26-2017, 07:36 AM
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#159
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Originally Posted By JaymzJ
We all live in different areas and we all have different experiences that shape how we think and who we are also. You are right though about it being rare, it's hard to find truly good, close friends. I like to think I am a good judge of character and you are one character I enjoy having around dawg
ayyyyyy <3
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post 1517442061 08-26-2017, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Girlgoneweird
I understand what you're saying, really. This is not what I'm saying about myself though this is what a LOT of people have told me.

Stuff like "omg you're so funny!" "You are really nice/fun to be around" "you're the only person I can talk to that won't run their mouth"..stuff like that.

The clinginess part yes, I'll admit in the past I have called People once a week or texted them 1x a week and then not reply back and I'd get hurt and say something when they never replied...now I just stop and delete them from my phone if I haven't heard from someone in quite awhile after I've made the effort.
They may be being truthful... or they may not.
post 1517442161 08-26-2017, 07:40 AM
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#161
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Originally Posted By hoganrulz
ayyyyyy <3
Like the title says, is no joke bro *fist bump*
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Be the reason someone smiles today

Fight the good fight every moment
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post 1517442741 08-26-2017, 07:50 AM
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#162
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It isn't healthy to go through life thinking people aren't doing things with you out of dislike for you. Miscers need to realize that 95% of the time people are just busy with their own **** and if you aren't best friends with a person you may not appear to mind instantly. Almost all situations are simply oversights and are in no way meant to harm you. Even if they were, why should you care? Why would you put any thought into someone intentionally not including you out of spite. **** them if they do that, you don't need people in your life who want to do you harm. Some people only make friends because of the benefits, but not everyone in the world is ****ty. The passive aggressiveness isn't helping you out.

Cliffs:
- miscers gotta learn not everyone in the world is out to get them
- 95% of the time it's an accident you weren't included
- people are lazy AF and content with just watching netflix all ****ing night now, don't be suprised they don't want to leave their room
Can't discipline the Miscipline
post 1517443291 08-26-2017, 08:00 AM
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#163
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Honest srs post

Chances are the reason you do so much for people in the first place is because you feel that's the only way you'll get people to like you. You'll justify in it your head as you being nice or enjoying it, any maybe you do actually get enjoyment out of it because it's your chance to hang out with someone for a while... the thing is, if people want nothing to do with you unless you're doing stuff for them all the time then that's an issue you got to solve about why that is... could be something you're doing or your personality in some way, could just be that you're ugly and people are dicks

And maybe it isn't solvable and you just gotta accept that your role is always gonna be the 'helpful one' and the 'bitch boy who can be relied on' and accept that, internalize that and tell yourself (and your therapist) that it's "okay ... I guess" and live it out so you don't have to be alone
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post 1517445311 08-26-2017, 08:42 AM
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You're lucky you have 4 friends. Most of the misc has 0. SMH @ female privilege.
post 1517445441 08-26-2017, 08:45 AM
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I know the feels brosita. often told myself "fuk these goobers" after hanging out with my childhood friends. Diregard and aquire new friends. But then there is the annoying fact that these childhood friends keep sticking around, and im really not one to give up on them so the wheel just keeps spinning... Some people are just not great, but all you really need is a couple of genuinely good friends, and you should be able to stumble into a couple in due time.
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post 1517445511 08-26-2017, 08:47 AM
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#166
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Originally Posted By Slurgie
You're lucky you have 4 friends. Most of the misc has 0. SMH @ female privilege.
this, imagine not getting any of the attention you as a female are used to, the lonely ness you feel plus 100x more difficult to get sexor and maybe then you can realize the struggles of a miscer
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post 1517445821 08-26-2017, 08:52 AM
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Originally Posted By Girlgoneweird
I'm not going to keep texting people if after the third time no reply. Not gonna be a needy little bitch texting people constantly when they don't reciprocate.
If this happens then they lie when they say you're fun to be around and you have a great personality. You're probably just really weird and make them uncomfortable. I've seen it before, people saying "she's really nice", "she's a sweetheart", "she's hilarious", things like that, only to save face.

You should probably just accept that you're not a social butterfly and enjoy the few friends that you have. That's what it is, people will never go out of their way to hang out with you. Especially if you have an emotional meltdown when someone actually wants to hang out with you after 3 months, that part was hilarious.
post 1517446731 08-26-2017, 09:05 AM
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#168
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Originally Posted By Girlgoneweird
****Dear diary. Read while pooping. VERY LONG*****


-I am a genuinely nice person and treat everyone with respect.

-I text people every once in awhile to see how they are doing if I haven't heard from them.same with family from out of state.

-Will help anyone (if a friend's car is broke down I will come pick them up, have helped people move, babysat people's kids expecting nothing in return etc)

-I am usually available to go do stuff if people give me a little advance notice (so it's not like people are inviting and I'm turning them down over and over)

-People that I meet say I'm fun to be around and I have a great personality.



SO...im wondering why acquaintances never turn into friends. I literally have 4 friends but only regularly talk to 2 of them. Their choice not mine.
I'm not going to keep texting people if after the third time no reply. Not gonna be a needy little bitch texting people constantly when they don't reciprocate.


I feel due to all this, and what I feel like is getting screwed over, I have become a little bit bitter and slowly stopped trying to make friends (I figure they can call me instead of me always being the one to initiate)


Example- two people just this week that haven't talked to me in over 3 months have the audacity to text me. One asking what we needed to read for micro, and another asking me if we can meet up and study for anatomy
(in b4 5 hrs of studying lol...yes I overestimated because I timed it the other night and it's actually only about 2 hrs if constant study)



One person I completely ignored both of their texts.

The other I replied back with the Savage "who is this?"
She goes "its Laura, ...dang"

I replied back with "well I didn't know since I haven't heard anything from you in about 3 months and the only other person that has talked to me in the group is Amanda .I I get kind of salty when people drop off the "friend planet"

She replied back "i just got busy with life. ...can we study today or tomorrow"

I said "it only takes a few seconds to send someone a text and see how they're doing" "you could literally text me in the time it takes for you to take a chit"

Didn't reply after that cause i am not even gonna attempt to be someones friend that doesn't have time to cultivate a friendship.

Keep in mind she went NC for 3 fukking months but then ALL OF A SUDDEN has time again for me ..just in time for test #1 (suprise!)


Other friends either act like they don't have time, or don't invite me places unless I text them first. It's like I'm an afterthought.

Yet, these are the same people that go on and on to their other friends saying how funny I am and how fun I am to be around and that all their friends will just love me when we DO go somewhere and Im introduced.

And for anyone who hasn't caught n yet, I totally do use the misc to feel like I have somewhat of a life other than family, and school.


Cliffs..if you've made it this far
*op is a Very loyal friend
*people say op is Fun to be around
*Only has 4 friends
*2 of which talk to on the regular/do stuff with
*op is starting to get the attitude of "fuk everyone" bc hardly any friends


Just tired of people atm. I can see how genuinely weird and socially awkward girls don't have friends but I'm really not that way. I'm weird but not in a scary or off-putting way..and no I'm not super sexual to everyone irl lol
Welcome to the real world where everyone is out for themselves and you are lucky if you have one really good friend. Not that there's anything wrong with it really.

Social media hypes everything up and gives the illusion thay everyone has a ton of friends but it's all fake.

Most people are in similar situations as you, including myself. However I can be satisfied with my own company so it doesn't bother me that I don't have people hitting me up all the time because they want something from me.
post 1517447431 08-26-2017, 09:16 AM
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#169
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Originally Posted By hunsberger22
if you act like you're always available people arent going to hit you up. its basic psychology
I'm not always available, I said I'm available most times though if someone gives me a heads up.
Originally Posted By Rabbitjb
Skim read

You are married with kids and expect college aged singles to keep in touch regularly? That's just dumb ..sorry ..that's not your life and it's not theirs.

When you go around in life expecting people to react in specific ways, based on a mental rule book you keep that they have never seen, you are going to be disappointed ..stop doing that

Try taking each and every interaction at face value. Over time you get closer or further away from people dependent on physical proximity and life stage...not everyone in your life has to fulfil best friend status...a group of somewhat friends can be great for nights out

The only way to test true friendship is to have some major crisis and see who is around to support you through it and who disappears into the ether
I get that. Not expecting college students to always be available. I would expect though that id have at least a small group of acquaintances/somewhat friends that would make the effort to reach out to me at least sometimes..and I don't.

Like I said, if I am not doing 100% of the initiating it doesn't even happen. Even then, when I ask someone if they want to go do something or hang out usually it still doesn't happen.

And it's not like I'm only trying to make friends with single people. We are dying to have some other couple friends beside the ONE we have.
My husband is self employed so that also makes it hard because he is not in a conventional workplace meeting people.

We met those people in the church we used to attend and they actually didn't have much contact with us afterwards until the next year when they left as well (we didn't hold that against them though, because we understand they were brainwashed)

I don't feel like it's asking for a lot to want some friends who hit you up even just 2x a year to ask "how are you?" Or "hey we are going to eat at ....would you like to join us?"

Y'all act like married People never have time to do anything at all.

My husband has even gotten kind of annoyed at times that his friend has time to go do church activities and have them over the house for card games and chit but we have only been once.

People make time for who they really care about. Someone that has time to play in a kickball league with their church, and go out to eat, and have people over for card has time to set aside and make plans with us too.

I'm going to actually look and see if there's any meetups in our area that we could go to next weekend. I joined meetup.com but then kind of forgot about it because I felt like a loser.

Well now It's time to go meet random people who have the same problem.
**Be the change you wish to see on the misc**
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post 1517448231 08-26-2017, 09:31 AM
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#170
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Originally Posted By sunchine
If this happens then they lie when they say you're fun to be around and you have a great personality. You're probably just really weird and make them uncomfortable. I've seen it before, people saying "she's really nice", "she's a sweetheart", "she's hilarious", things like that, only to save face.

You should probably just accept that you're not a social butterfly and enjoy the few friends that you have. That's what it is, people will never go out of their way to hang out with you. Especially if you have an emotional meltdown when someone actually wants to hang out with you after 3 months, that part was hilarious.
Do you not even reading comprehension??

She called specifically for me to help her study for her test! She didn't call or text for 3+ months and used me for studying and schoolwork before that.you think it was just coincidence that all of a sudden when test time rolls around she has time for me again? Lol
Finally got tired of it and let her know what I thought.

And no these other people aren't just saying that in a patronizing way or to save face. I just want people initiating contact instead of me always doing it. A friendship is not one sided. If someone forgets about you for months or makes NO effort whatsoever when YOU are the one to not call them first, that's not a friend

There are times when I have gone a few months without talking to someone (after 3x of calling/texting with no reply I just stop) and then they'll call me saying "hey haven't heard from you!!"
It's those times where I'm like wtf because I was the one making all the effort. It feels like oh here they are apparently without anyone else to talk to and THEN they think of me.

I have already addressed that I was too clingy in the past so then I just quit trying.

I need to find some friends who are into the same thing I am. I don't go to church and I'm not interested in hanging out with religious people. I don't necessarily have to have someone exactly like me, but it would make it easier if we shared some of the same thoughts and hobbies.
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post 1517449341 08-26-2017, 09:48 AM
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#171
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Originally Posted By KingSWRV
Based on what I noticed of your mental state your goal is to become more self aware You suffer from being emotionally underdeveloped which you use as a guise for a false ego.

The first step is to understand yourself, then progress through a series of developmental periods of learning and self exploration.

You keep insisting you're not just a big dork, thats a sign you have issues with your ego. You have to be able to say "I'm a retard, now what can I do to improve myself and my self awareness?" as opposed to saying, "I'm a special snowflake and I'm nice the way I am and people should like me"

Say you're a retard, thats the first step. Then you can begin to transform into a person those people will like, but first you have to figure out what that is, and it can be as complex as needing to understand the whole world.
Lmao never said I wasn't a dork. I said as far as mentally, I'm psychologically stable. I do say things sometimes that maybe other people wouldn't find funny unless they're like me. I should just keep my mouth shut but it's hard for me to not let people see the dorky side of me sometimes.
In a way it's a catch 22. If people don't "get" me then I don't want to be friends anyways, but then again I want more friends.

I act like an adult when needed, but I also want friends that I can do this with....


I'm the shark
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post 1517449461 08-26-2017, 09:50 AM
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#172
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Originally Posted By skeetzer
this, imagine not getting any of the attention you as a female are used to, the lonely ness you feel plus 100x more difficult to get sexor and maybe then you can realize the struggles of a miscer
Yeah I know guys have it way harder.

Sometimes I wish I was super nerdy though. Seems like those nerds at comic con and magik tournaments stick together. I always see nerdy People like that in at least groups of 3. Just my observation lol
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post 1517449951 08-26-2017, 09:57 AM
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#173
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Originally Posted By Girlgoneweird
Do you not even reading comprehension??

She called specifically for me to help her study for her test! She didn't call or text for 3+ months and used me for studying and schoolwork before that.you think it was just coincidence that all of a sudden when test time rolls around she has time for me again? Lol
Finally got tired of it and let her know what I thought.

And no these other people aren't just saying that in a patronizing way or to save face. I just want people initiating contact instead of me always doing it. A friendship is not one sided. If someone forgets about you for months or makes NO effort whatsoever when YOU are the one to not call them first, that's not a friend

There are times when I have gone a few months without talking to someone (after 3x of calling/texting with no reply I just stop) and then they'll call me saying "hey haven't heard from you!!"
It's those times where I'm like wtf because I was the one making all the effort. It feels like oh here they are apparently without anyone else to talk to and THEN they think of me.

I have already addressed that I was too clingy in the past so then I just quit trying.

I need to find some friends who are into the same thing I am. I don't go to church and I'm not interested in hanging out with religious people. I don't necessarily have to have someone exactly like me, but it would make it easier if we shared some of the same thoughts and hobbies.
I'll skip that, there's only so much of this emotional female bullchit I'm willing to read in one day. Bottom line is if you were as charismatic as you think, or as people say, you wouldn't be dealing with this, get over it. You should have got over it a long time ago, assuming you're not 15 years old.
post 1517450451 08-26-2017, 10:03 AM
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#174
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Originally Posted By sunchine
I'll skip that, there's only so much of this emotional female bullchit I'm willing to read in one day. Bottom line is if you were as charismatic as you think, or as people say, you wouldn't be dealing with this, get over it. You should have got over it a long time ago, assuming you're not 15 years old.
Door >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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post 1517470301 08-26-2017, 02:05 PM
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#175
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This may sound pathetic and I guess a little clingy but After this thread I really started to think some of y'all were my real friends. We just connected so well and I feel like y'all are my besties. I went on a lot of your ******** and Snapchat and found y'all's numbers. Why haven't 20+ of you responded!!? I know where a few of you live now but it's not like I'm going to drive over there...or will I ?? 2230 south permission st, LA anyone?? Haha


See this is the **** I'm talking about. When you think someone wants to be your friend then they go NC on you.

More depressed today than ever. I hate how y'all have led me on. **** off.
























































Spoiler!
not serious lol. Ty all for the good advice last night. I will try and stop getting my feelings hurt when people stay acquaintances and put myself out there more. I realize some of it is probably my clinginess and too big of a desire to have friends. Will spread reps around when off rc
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post 1517471421 08-26-2017, 02:16 PM
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#176
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Quality of mates > quantity
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post 1517474041 08-26-2017, 02:51 PM
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#177
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1 good friend is worth 1000 acquaintances.
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post 1517474151 08-26-2017, 02:52 PM
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#178
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Originally Posted By sunchine
I'll skip that, there's only so much of this emotional female bullchit I'm willing to read in one day. Bottom line is if you were as charismatic as you think, or as people say, you wouldn't be dealing with this, get over it. You should have got over it a long time ago, assuming you're not 15 years old.
cope
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post 1517478171 08-26-2017, 03:41 PM
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#179
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Originally Posted By Melis689
Quality of mates > quantity
Ya..plus I guess maybe those people that I'm looking at with 10 "friends" they could be just acquaintances to them. I don't know whether that person actually has that many real friends.
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post 1517478771 08-26-2017, 03:47 PM
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#180
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Originally Posted By Girlgoneweird
Ya..plus I guess maybe those people that I'm looking at with 10 "friends" they could be just acquaintances to them. I don't know whether that person actually has that many real friends.
Acquaintances are better than "good friends" especially as a woman srs. I have a few close mates, one is a childhood friend but i'm telling ya now from experience, it's a dog eat dog world and at the end of the day people - even friends - just use each other. Trust yourself and no one else and don't get so hung up about not having "good" friends because a day will come when they fuk you over SRS.
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