IMHO the dream is to be able to take some of the burden off your kids and give them all the advantages you can while they establish themselves. Unfortunately this sounds like something very different where parents are covering their kid's bills because the kids simply can't hack it by themselves.


Gonna be rough times when more of the baby boomers hit 65-70+ and don't have the finances lined up for their next phase of life because they've been helping their children make ends meet

Just remember things like u have to factor in taxes from income and healthcare etc. Food costs, car insurance, cellphone bill, you name it. It adds up quicker than most think. but i look at all these numbersx all the time since im huge on financial independence. i also live in az! but like to travel a lot.

A few things.

The first is that more young people spend time in university nowadays, ie spending a lot of money but not earning much. For example, in 1960 only 5% of Britons went to university, in 2010 it was 35%. So if they're studying hard but not earning, it's natural for the parents to help them out at that point. If I helped my children through primary and secondary education, why wouldn't I help them through tertiary? And then when they get started in their careers I might keep helping them through sheer momentum.

The second is the perspective that comes with years of earning. If I earn $20 an hour, then when I look at something costing $100, I think, "that's five hours of work." I then compare it to other equivalent products of $60 or $200, and ask myself whether the extra features or quality or looks of the thing make the extra worth it. This is helped by inflation. If I remember when minimum wage (in Australia) was $8 an hour and a Mars bar was $1, then quite simply even though the minimum wage is now $16, that $2 Mars seems more expensive; proportionally it's the same, but the absolute number is higher than I remember, so I'm more hesitant to spend on it. And with enough hesitations you end up saving money, paying off debts and having some set aside - and why wouldn't you use what you have set aside for your family?

Lastly, many parents simply have not given their children budgeting skills. If you as a parent grew up well-off, it doesn't occur to you to teach your child to budget; if you grew up poor and now aren't poor, you say, "I never want my child to feel like I did!" and so you never teach them the skill of choosing between spending on this or spending on that - "you get both!" Schools used to have a "home economics" class, which was cooking, cleaning - and budgeting, you have $X to get food for the family for the week, what do you get? etc. So far as I know schools don't do this any more. So if the parents aren't teaching them and the schools aren't teaching them, how can they know?

And so you get circumstances like a young person I know who spends $100 a week on food and groceries for themselves, vs the $130 I spend on me, my wife and two small children. And this person is getting help from their parents - working full-time in their late 20s.

I am trying to teach my children this stuff. Basically: you can't have everything, save up for what you want, and so on.This is part of it, too. Expectations. While a good part of the USA is struggling along on the federal minimum wage of USD7.50 an hour, he thinks anything under 100k is poverty. Many young people have inflated expectations of income and lifestyle. This is of course cultural, as a good chunk of Western culture is wasteful consumerism and virtue signalling through wealth.

we're all gonna make it

Lots of lies in this thread. Getting an acceptable job isn't easy to get. Begging people to mow their lawns isn't gonna pay $500 rent(if ur lucky), food, gas, etc every month. Almost 4mil kids are born in the us every year, where are all jobs gonna come from? Now these ***0t parents are paying the price for bringing kids into an overpopulated earth.

Location: Arizona

Bruh, try to live on 20k a year in California. In some cities, that's your actual rent cost.

Some of this might need to be learned through experience. I mean you can teach budgeting, it's just numbers and there's no magic to it, but having the self-control and discipline to live within that budget is something a bit different. Part of that might come from making bad financial decisions and then dealing with the repercussions, which never happens if you're constantly bailed out by family. Another part of it might come from living in a tight financial situation and developing habits to suit -- nothing will teach you how to be frugal and function within your means like living pay cheque to pay cheque barely affording to feed yourself


Parents paying bills for their kids might be a case of sheltering them from any financial hardship, another form of bubble-wrapping. And that's not going to benefit anyone long term

This is true. But it's like for example reading. Primary school teachers tell me they can tell the difference between children who,

1. had no exposure to books before school
2. got read bedtime stories
3. got taught some letters or words

Basically, #2 puts kids 6 months ahead of their peers, and #3 12 months. Basically, they say the main thing is confidence: when the kid is around books at school, are they comfortable with them, or are they going "OMG WTF" and freaking out? And I see very similar things in my gym business, there's abigdifference between someone who's donesomethingin the gym before, however half-arsed, and someone who's never done anything. Confidence is a big part of it. Sure, there's a lot to learn - but getting started is a big deal.

So I figure it's the same with finances and budgeting. "Here's $4 pocket money, son. You must put at least $1 in the "give" box, and at least $1 in the "save" box, and whatever you like in the "spend" box. If you want something like a big lego set or a skateboard, tear the page out of the store catalogue and put that in the "spend" box to remind you." So then he has to make choices, because he can't have everything. And that's the basics of budgeting: you can't have everything, and you have to plan ahead for big expenses.

Again, it's not everything, and as you say they'll need experience to flesh it. But it's a start, and they'll be advantaged over their peers who never had that start. I think these skills are very important - the kid who grows up to earn $36k (minimum full-time wage here) and spends it well will be better off than the kid who grows up to earn $136k and pisses it away and is constantly bailed out by their parents.

But I suspect that the skills overlap; the sort of kid who budgets their money well will probably budget their study time well, and do alright with maths and english and so on, and choose a uni or trades course well and do well out of it financially, given time. I think you can probably be academically smart and budget dumb, but you're less likely to be budget smart and academically dumb.Definitely.

This is quite interesting. There has to be a middle ground. I want my daughter to have the will to succeed(because she has to) but I also don’t want her coming out into the world with 50k+ in debt. With our salaries I doubt she’ll get any aid besides scholarships and grants. I agree that being helpful but overly helpful is the best Probably.

"make your parents"

It was offered, my parents paid additional money to my sister to attend more schooling and they thought it was fair to provide the same to my brother and I, and since we didn't need it for school it was offered to help with a house. I would have bought the same house regardless.

How far does this go though?

My parents parents gave them furniture
Gave them money to do things
Bought a building
Bought a car

Etc. Etc.

In other words, they stepped in and gave money at times. Wasnt like they were paying their bills

my parents know i am a determined, disciplined and grateful individual. its taken some time to get on my feet but they have been helping me off financially and i will be forever grateful. when they get older i will take care of them.

its too bad, a lot of kids/children/people get financial support but take advantage of their parents who support them. i guess you gotta assess your kid to see if its even worth it.

Good point there is a different between using family wealth to help expand family wealth and keeping someone afloat that has no desire to help themselves.

They way the articles read it seems like they're referring to consistent financial support not an occasional one off.

I live on 5 grand a month and that's me having everything paid for

You can live on 2K a month if you're a hermit who doesn't eat, drives a ****ty car, doesn't go out, doesn't go to any events, wears ****ty clothing, etc...

It's a cultural thing.

Agree to some extent. Some asian parents pay for their kids til ded because of different living arrangements.

Despite this, I kind of disagree with this simplified generalization that if you don't pay for yourself as an adult, you are suddenly financially illiterate and a disgrace to society. There are a lot of youngsters who get a healthy heads-up on life by their parents paying their deposit on a house they could never afford to save up for or buy the house outright. Don't tell me you wouldn't do this as a parent if you had enough $$$$$$$ to throw around. Makes it sound like a bitter rant that you get mad having had to work harder than someone who was luckier than you. This doesn't make someone irresponsible with money by default.

Is there a cut off on the age of "adult children" they are using for their stats or does this include basically anyone with living parents over 18?

Assuming 18+ so a lot of students are included.

If you look at the Forbes article though it excludes students and it's still like 59% So students are only making up like 15-20% of this number.

Just noticed forbes says 18-39 but didn't see a range on the others

lol at "a little effort and common sense" ok jeff, have fun living in your chitty 1 bedroom pest infested slum driving your $800 1999 toyota tercel.

A modest studio apartment that's roach free in my area is ~$700/ month

I guess you could "survive" on 20k, but you never have had to, and never will, so it's easy to make it sound all peachy and how easy it would be from behind your computer on the misc.

man i'm in the arts scene and 90% of young people who are doing well are heavily supported by parents.

What does doing well mean? I don't understand how doing well and heavily supported can exist at the same time.

Or are you saying they're doing well because of the support (like nice housing/vehicle etc?)

My savings woulda' been up approx £50,000 by now had I been able to live with my folks during my 20s.

I'm actually quite envious of folk who can "move back home" and amass money for this, that or the other.

No disagreement there man. May be that your middle ground is helping out more and mine may be helping out a little less. I do understand your concerns because the amount of debt these colleges saddle on kids is a bit ridiculous. I didn't pay off my 30-40k of debt for a couple years. I don't know about other people, but finding a job out of college can be rather difficult too and was for me.

I mentioned this before but maybe state schools should be considered more by kids. The price different is quite huge and many state schools are a solid choice. When my kids get to be that age, that is definitely something I'm going to have them seriously consider.

Especially if their parents have a nice house that is basically a duplex/basement apartment etc.

My roommate has his dad pay his rent for him, and yet here I am giving both my parents at least $800 a month to help them pay for rent and food

Mom is 51 dad is 60, dad decided to retire early cause he was "tired of working" and wasn't financially ready to....

I send them $500/month so they can pay their mortgage, so that's fun.

That's all I'm going to say or I'll start to get upset.

Tough situation man.

On one hand they're your parents.

On the other hand wtf dad.

I don't think anything under 100k is poverty. I think if you make under 100k combined income or individually, it's in a person's best interest to continue living at home and save up until they can do....more [living in a place like san diego/la/etc. i'd say even like 150k should still live at home in even more expensive areas like san francisco. maybe 50k in cheaper cost of living places but the exact number doesn't matter)

This is coming from somebody who lives in san diego where an average house costs 600k and will likely need to spend 800k to get anything that isn't in a crime ridden community. It's not in that person's best interest to move out, pay rent while saving up for that 20% downpayment for the next 20 years.

edit: that person who lives at home making 70k (under the 100k mark) will be significantly better off if they live at home for another 2-5 years once they land that job. just through not paying rent, they'd save ~1500/month in my area. so in 2 years that's 24k anywhere from 90k saved up. That could be their entire college debt paid off. that could be the down payment on their house, etc etc.