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» Yo Gbullock32 could you tell us some crazy prison stories? Srs
01-08-2024, 05:40 PM
#241
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Fkn lol
So this was just last night, maybe 2220 and again I am on a double shift. Just heating up mu food, normally when I eat my second lunch, all of my partners and I are just hanging out talking about how the last few days have been, catching up and doing paperwork before we do our security checks. One guy is off doing alarm testing (making sure certain alarms work, but we do not test the buildings at night, you know, since inmates are sleeping). Suddenly we hear over the radio "Personal alarm in Alpha 2", dafuq? This must be all bad to go straight to an alarm, if it were just something minor the Booth C/O would just call us.
Again, fck my lunch I guess, we all go running from the office, maybe 200 yards, to the building. Also, man my cardio is sht, 200 yards in full equipment and I'm dying lol. We get to the building and the Booth is at the back window looking at us like "I have no idea what the fck happened, I didn't hit an alarm." We turn the alarm off, go into the building and do a security check, nothing out of the ordinary, we are confused as hell.
The guy doing alarm testing gets there (he was way in the back testing alarms when this happened), and he walks up and says "Hey, check this out" and he pushes an alarm, the building alarm goes off again. Huh, we turn it off again and he pushes the alarm again. The building alarm goes off again, which is weird. Turns out one of our Dining Hall alarm somehow is setting off the building's alarm instead of the dining alarm. No fcking clue how that worked but whatever, mystery solved and got my cardio in for the day!
Again, fck my lunch I guess, we all go running from the office, maybe 200 yards, to the building. Also, man my cardio is sht, 200 yards in full equipment and I'm dying lol. We get to the building and the Booth is at the back window looking at us like "I have no idea what the fck happened, I didn't hit an alarm." We turn the alarm off, go into the building and do a security check, nothing out of the ordinary, we are confused as hell.
The guy doing alarm testing gets there (he was way in the back testing alarms when this happened), and he walks up and says "Hey, check this out" and he pushes an alarm, the building alarm goes off again. Huh, we turn it off again and he pushes the alarm again. The building alarm goes off again, which is weird. Turns out one of our Dining Hall alarm somehow is setting off the building's alarm instead of the dining alarm. No fcking clue how that worked but whatever, mystery solved and got my cardio in for the day!
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Quote
01-08-2024, 06:58 PM
#242
Latest buy, yes I love flavored cigars and regular, but I always buy cheap ones.
Also this still stands, srs.
Also this still stands, srs.
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Lets make it more entertaining, srs. I added a decanter to my rot station. Featuring my Chiappa Rhino as gun of choice.
I will legit Venmo $40 to the first person to guess which whiskey is in it, each person only gets one guess though.
I will legit Venmo $40 to the first person to guess which whiskey is in it, each person only gets one guess though.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-08-2024, 07:14 PM
#243
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Strong sig - 4 months to recover to a lifting state from hernia surgery??
Latest buy, yes I love flavored cigars and regular, but I always buy cheap ones.
Also this still stands, srs.
Also this still stands, srs.
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01-08-2024, 07:21 PM
#244
Originally Posted By LargePeter⏩
Well, they misdiagnosed it originally so by the time I went to the ER weeks later my intestine twisted, food backed up, it tore through my abdominal wall. Meant emergency surgery, an 8 inch incision right by my belt/pelvic area, and 1 foot of intestine lost. 13 staples to keep it all shut.
Strong sig - 4 months to recover to a lifting state from hernia surgery??
Took 4 days off work then went back lol, fck it. Used duct tape over the bandage so I wouldn't bleed through my pants, lucked out and had easy spots for 3 months (they hooked it up, we look out for each other) so I was in the monitor room watching screens, then outside patrol just driving around in a truck, then working as the front desk at our onsite hospital so I just checked inmates in/out when they got there for appointments.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-08-2024, 07:54 PM
#245
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Fair call
Well, they misdiagnosed it originally so by the time I went to the ER weeks later my intestine twisted, food backed up, it tore through my abdominal wall. Meant emergency surgery, an 8 inch incision right by my belt/pelvic area, and 1 foot of intestine lost. 13 staples to keep it all shut.
Took 4 days off work then went back lol, fck it. Used duct tape over the bandage so I wouldn't bleed through my pants, lucked out and had easy spots for 3 months (they hooked it up, we look out for each other) so I was in the monitor room watching screens, then outside patrol just driving around in a truck, then working as the front desk at our onsite hospital so I just checked inmates in/out when they got there for appointments.
Took 4 days off work then went back lol, fck it. Used duct tape over the bandage so I wouldn't bleed through my pants, lucked out and had easy spots for 3 months (they hooked it up, we look out for each other) so I was in the monitor room watching screens, then outside patrol just driving around in a truck, then working as the front desk at our onsite hospital so I just checked inmates in/out when they got there for appointments.
I feel like I've got a potential issue on the side of the belly button but hasn't blown out seriously in 18 months so fuk it
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01-08-2024, 08:51 PM
#246
Originally Posted By LargePeter⏩
Yeah, got checked for another hernia, they said that belly button detached lol, it was a bad fire season and smoke was so bad I couldn't stop coughing. Need to go back and get it checked again just to be sure.
Fair call
I feel like I've got a potential issue on the side of the belly button but hasn't blown out seriously in 18 months so fuk it
I feel like I've got a potential issue on the side of the belly button but hasn't blown out seriously in 18 months so fuk it
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-08-2024, 09:01 PM
#247
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Oh chit
Yeah, got checked for another hernia, they said that belly button detached lol, it was a bad fire season and smoke was so bad I couldn't stop coughing. Need to go back and get it checked again just to be sure.
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01-09-2024, 05:31 AM
#248
So this guy I work with, we'll call him Officer R, easily the funniest guys I have ever worked with. The minute you see you are working with him you know it's going to be a good day. I'm working Delta building 2 with my partner on the floor and Officer R is in the control booth, sht this is going to be a great day! We get a new inmate in the building, and he spends an hour or so cleaning the cell he is moving into, and then he goes over to the window of the control booth and yells "Tower!" which is what the inmates call the control booth C/O when they don't know their name. Officer R goes over to the window to see what the guy wants, and he asks if he can get a shower; at the time we are in drought restrictions so shower days are only Mon/Wed/Fri and today is Sunday.
Officer R just says "You want a shower? Well, what do I get?" The inmate asks what he wants and my partner and I already know this is going to be hilarious. Officer R says "I know, lets play a game! Scavenger hunt! I want you to bring me a left shoe, an Ace of Spades, and a grey hat! Don't worry, I'm not going to take them, I just want you to bring them here. You got 5 minutes" Holy sht I did not see that coming, this is amazing. The inmate runs off and gets the card and hat pretty fast, but no one will give him a shoe, he's rushing as time goes down while Officer R uses the PA to announce the time as it counts down.
Finally with 1 minute to go the inmate gets a shoe and runs over to the window to show Officer R who just starts laughing at the inmate and says "You dummy, you were wearing a left shoe the whole time, hahahaha!" The inmate just has the look of 'fck….' on his face, but Officer R gave him a shower, he might fck with people but he's no liar. Easily one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.
I have a lot of funny stories with this guy.
Officer R just says "You want a shower? Well, what do I get?" The inmate asks what he wants and my partner and I already know this is going to be hilarious. Officer R says "I know, lets play a game! Scavenger hunt! I want you to bring me a left shoe, an Ace of Spades, and a grey hat! Don't worry, I'm not going to take them, I just want you to bring them here. You got 5 minutes" Holy sht I did not see that coming, this is amazing. The inmate runs off and gets the card and hat pretty fast, but no one will give him a shoe, he's rushing as time goes down while Officer R uses the PA to announce the time as it counts down.
Finally with 1 minute to go the inmate gets a shoe and runs over to the window to show Officer R who just starts laughing at the inmate and says "You dummy, you were wearing a left shoe the whole time, hahahaha!" The inmate just has the look of 'fck….' on his face, but Officer R gave him a shower, he might fck with people but he's no liar. Easily one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.
I have a lot of funny stories with this guy.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-09-2024, 06:16 PM
#249
Originally Posted By gwg77⏩
this. i knew my bro had some stories to tell, but this is the first ive heard them
5-star thread. Some wild stories brah!
Merica
<I.L.H.|C.O.E.>
RIP YGST
01-09-2024, 07:20 PM
#250
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
evan williams?
Lets make it more entertaining, srs. I added a decanter to my rot station. Featuring my Chiappa Rhino as gun of choice.
I will legit Venmo $40 to the first person to guess which whiskey is in it, each person only gets one guess though.
I will legit Venmo $40 to the first person to guess which whiskey is in it, each person only gets one guess though.
crocs at the gym crew
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01-10-2024, 04:00 AM
#251
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
Motherfcker…. yep; DM me Venmo. Can't believe someone nailed it in one.
evan williams?
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-10-2024, 04:22 AM
#252
Also another Officer R story, he worked swaps every Saturday and Sunday In Delta 2 control booth, so every Saturday and Sunday were my fundays.
So to go to a visit inmates need to have their ID card, which they should always have anyways, and we had one inmate who was a bit special (he was also Russian and this will come up later), just kind of dumb to be honest. Well, he had scratched the eyes out of his picture on his ID card because he thought it looked cool, that's about the intelligence we are dealing with here. He went to a visit with his Mom on Saturday but they denied him since his ID card was altered, his Mom had flown in from Russia for Sat/Sun just to visit, so he needed a new ID card by Sunday morning.
Now, this kids Mom was fcking scary to be completely honest, I'd met her once. I was the Gatehouse Officer so I checked all incoming traffic, ID people and check their trunks/vehicles for anything not allowed, it's pretty annoying. One day a limo pulls up, blacked out, professional driver and everything. In the back is a Russian lady in a very nice suit, eyes fcking cold as hell and so polite it was unsettling, checked her passport (her ID) and saw who she was visiting. No fcking way, this kids Mom ended up being Russian Mafia or some sht, easily one of the strangest things ever, like how the fck is that guy her son. Anyways though….
Officer R worked his first shift as a Security Patrol Officer, which is basically the go to guys for the Sgt. and they handle most of the paperwork for the yard, do all escorts, it's like the 'do whatever needs to be done' position; he can get this guy a new ID easily on Sunday morning before his visit and this guy knows it. So he asks Officer R if he can make it happen, really all Officer R has to do is walk to Receive & Release, print a new ID off the machine and bring it back, maybe 20 minutes of work, less if he takes the golf cart.
Well, Officer R don't work for free, so he tells this guy to hit him up at recall that night (when all inmates go in for the night), which he does. The deal this time is the inmate has to do an airplane from cell 201 to cell 250, so the whole top tier. Arms out, making airplane noises and run the tier, which he agrees to because that's easy. As he gets to cell 201 Officer R announces over the PA "Everyone please go to your doors, the show is about to begin!" as the inmate starts running and making airplane noises. This is so fcking funny, even the inmates are laughing, one other inmate yells "What is he supposed to be? A retarded zombie!" My partner and I are dying… The guy manages to run until maybe cell 230 before he's too tired (not in good shape) and he walks the rest.
Well, he did do it though, and since Officer R always keeps his word the inmate had a new ID well before his visit so he got to see his scary as hell Mom.
So to go to a visit inmates need to have their ID card, which they should always have anyways, and we had one inmate who was a bit special (he was also Russian and this will come up later), just kind of dumb to be honest. Well, he had scratched the eyes out of his picture on his ID card because he thought it looked cool, that's about the intelligence we are dealing with here. He went to a visit with his Mom on Saturday but they denied him since his ID card was altered, his Mom had flown in from Russia for Sat/Sun just to visit, so he needed a new ID card by Sunday morning.
Now, this kids Mom was fcking scary to be completely honest, I'd met her once. I was the Gatehouse Officer so I checked all incoming traffic, ID people and check their trunks/vehicles for anything not allowed, it's pretty annoying. One day a limo pulls up, blacked out, professional driver and everything. In the back is a Russian lady in a very nice suit, eyes fcking cold as hell and so polite it was unsettling, checked her passport (her ID) and saw who she was visiting. No fcking way, this kids Mom ended up being Russian Mafia or some sht, easily one of the strangest things ever, like how the fck is that guy her son. Anyways though….
Officer R worked his first shift as a Security Patrol Officer, which is basically the go to guys for the Sgt. and they handle most of the paperwork for the yard, do all escorts, it's like the 'do whatever needs to be done' position; he can get this guy a new ID easily on Sunday morning before his visit and this guy knows it. So he asks Officer R if he can make it happen, really all Officer R has to do is walk to Receive & Release, print a new ID off the machine and bring it back, maybe 20 minutes of work, less if he takes the golf cart.
Well, Officer R don't work for free, so he tells this guy to hit him up at recall that night (when all inmates go in for the night), which he does. The deal this time is the inmate has to do an airplane from cell 201 to cell 250, so the whole top tier. Arms out, making airplane noises and run the tier, which he agrees to because that's easy. As he gets to cell 201 Officer R announces over the PA "Everyone please go to your doors, the show is about to begin!" as the inmate starts running and making airplane noises. This is so fcking funny, even the inmates are laughing, one other inmate yells "What is he supposed to be? A retarded zombie!" My partner and I are dying… The guy manages to run until maybe cell 230 before he's too tired (not in good shape) and he walks the rest.
Well, he did do it though, and since Officer R always keeps his word the inmate had a new ID well before his visit so he got to see his scary as hell Mom.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-10-2024, 11:19 AM
#253
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Latest buy, yes I love flavored cigars and regular, but I always buy cheap ones.
Also this still stands, srs.
Also this still stands, srs.
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Well, they misdiagnosed it originally so by the time I went to the ER weeks later my intestine twisted, food backed up, it tore through my abdominal wall. Meant emergency surgery, an 8 inch incision right by my belt/pelvic area, and 1 foot of intestine lost. 13 staples to keep it all shut.
Took 4 days off work then went back lol, fck it. Used duct tape over the bandage so I wouldn't bleed through my pants, lucked out and had easy spots for 3 months (they hooked it up, we look out for each other) so I was in the monitor room watching screens, then outside patrol just driving around in a truck, then working as the front desk at our onsite hospital so I just checked inmates in/out when they got there for appointments.
Took 4 days off work then went back lol, fck it. Used duct tape over the bandage so I wouldn't bleed through my pants, lucked out and had easy spots for 3 months (they hooked it up, we look out for each other) so I was in the monitor room watching screens, then outside patrol just driving around in a truck, then working as the front desk at our onsite hospital so I just checked inmates in/out when they got there for appointments.
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Fuk yeah alpha af mirin
Motherfcker…. yep; DM me Venmo. Can't believe someone nailed it in one.
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01-10-2024, 11:33 AM
#254
do you think corrections is safer than being a cop in the USA?
on one hand, you are in a place which is a filter for scum whereas a cop would deal with a lot of calls that won't put him in danger
on the other hand, sometimes you do not know what you are walking into whereas at least corrections is a tightly controlled area
on one hand, you are in a place which is a filter for scum whereas a cop would deal with a lot of calls that won't put him in danger
on the other hand, sometimes you do not know what you are walking into whereas at least corrections is a tightly controlled area
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01-10-2024, 01:23 PM
#255
Originally Posted By hugobossbrah⏩
Easily corrections is 'safer', I know the type of people I am dealing with while a street cop it's just luck of the draw. Also in the prison we control the environment, we choose what doors open and close, we always have extra staff right there with minimal wait for assistance. Also I can at anytime for any reason put an inmate in cuffs, if I feel they are acting odd or hostile I can just handcuff them; for a street cop it's not always so easy. Also, no 4th amendment for me to worry about either, I can search an inmate or their cell any time I want for any reason or no reason at all.
do you think corrections is safer than being a cop in the USA?
on one hand, you are in a place which is a filter for scum whereas a cop would deal with a lot of calls that won't put him in danger
on the other hand, sometimes you do not know what you are walking into whereas at least corrections is a tightly controlled area
on one hand, you are in a place which is a filter for scum whereas a cop would deal with a lot of calls that won't put him in danger
on the other hand, sometimes you do not know what you are walking into whereas at least corrections is a tightly controlled area
The biggest thing, I don't have to deal with the public, only time I might is visiting or hospital runs and I do those very rarely. I would rather, and it's not even close, deal with inmates any day. Respect and common courtesy are understood and work both ways, while your random dumbass on the street acts like an entitled fcktard.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-10-2024, 01:49 PM
#256
Short one but…
Quick breakdown for unaware of how our shifts work. 1/w (First watch) is 2200-0600, 2/w (Second watch) is 0600-1400, and 3/w (Third watch) is 1400-2200; we get no breaks, no lunch, it's show up and work 8 hours, though there is down time, we do recall at various times for counts and stuff.
Working Alpha 5 on a swap, I'm working 3/w today and they had done mass searches earlier and went through all of Alpha 2. The inmates had to come out of their cells with their mattresses and put them in a pile so they could be run by a metal detector, then they were put in the gym and the entire building was searched. The inmates were back in their cells but we had to give the mattresses back still so the whole yard went to the building and we were opening a few cells at a time so they could go and get their matress. Pretty much meant no work for us, just standing there to make sure nothing went wrong. As we get to cells 135-141 an inmate in cell 138 says "Holy sht, Bullock! What are you doing over here you *******!" I knew this guy from B Yard years back, A yard is SNY and B yard was GP. We start bullshting back and forth, talking sht, I make fun of him for going SNY and he makes fun of how much weight I'd gain since back then; all in good fun and we both had a good laugh about it all.
As we move on a new guy looks at me and says "Hey Bullock, how long until I can be like you?" I just looked at him and said "What? An alcoholic? Anytime you want!" My joke went right over his head, this guy is… special, like legit he should probably not be a C/O, but here we are.
He just says "No, when can I talk to inmates like that?" I replied "You could start today, but I can't promise how it's going to turn out for you, might get your ass beat." He just kind of looked confused again… hiring standards are not what they used to be.
Best advice for being a C/O: If you're a dick (like I am) be a dick, it's fine, just don't fake it; be who you are, whatever that is. We work 8-16 hours pretty much every day and trying to pretend to be something your not just wont work. We have some people who just are friendly, if that's you then just be friendly, no one likes a try hard.
Quick breakdown for unaware of how our shifts work. 1/w (First watch) is 2200-0600, 2/w (Second watch) is 0600-1400, and 3/w (Third watch) is 1400-2200; we get no breaks, no lunch, it's show up and work 8 hours, though there is down time, we do recall at various times for counts and stuff.
Working Alpha 5 on a swap, I'm working 3/w today and they had done mass searches earlier and went through all of Alpha 2. The inmates had to come out of their cells with their mattresses and put them in a pile so they could be run by a metal detector, then they were put in the gym and the entire building was searched. The inmates were back in their cells but we had to give the mattresses back still so the whole yard went to the building and we were opening a few cells at a time so they could go and get their matress. Pretty much meant no work for us, just standing there to make sure nothing went wrong. As we get to cells 135-141 an inmate in cell 138 says "Holy sht, Bullock! What are you doing over here you *******!" I knew this guy from B Yard years back, A yard is SNY and B yard was GP. We start bullshting back and forth, talking sht, I make fun of him for going SNY and he makes fun of how much weight I'd gain since back then; all in good fun and we both had a good laugh about it all.
As we move on a new guy looks at me and says "Hey Bullock, how long until I can be like you?" I just looked at him and said "What? An alcoholic? Anytime you want!" My joke went right over his head, this guy is… special, like legit he should probably not be a C/O, but here we are.
He just says "No, when can I talk to inmates like that?" I replied "You could start today, but I can't promise how it's going to turn out for you, might get your ass beat." He just kind of looked confused again… hiring standards are not what they used to be.
Best advice for being a C/O: If you're a dick (like I am) be a dick, it's fine, just don't fake it; be who you are, whatever that is. We work 8-16 hours pretty much every day and trying to pretend to be something your not just wont work. We have some people who just are friendly, if that's you then just be friendly, no one likes a try hard.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-10-2024, 01:58 PM
#257
Is it possible for a guy to go to prison and just keep his head down, mind his own business and just do his time without getting mixed up in all the gangs and other prison bs?
"Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars" - Evel Knievel
01-10-2024, 02:09 PM
#258
Originally Posted By stevebec⏩
Yeah, a lot do that, but pretty much mostly only works on SNY; GP you pick a side. Just keep to yourself, it's fine to have friends and all that but don't get into gangs. Don't gamble unless you can pay it right then, never borrow or loan things, don't flaunt money or canteen (gonna get extorted), don't run your mouth, and just treat people right; do that and no one is gong to just fck with you for the sake of it. Especially if you just gert along with most people in general, staff and inmates, it makes it pretty easy to just cruise by without problems.
Is it possible for a guy to go to prison and just keep his head down, mind his own business and just do his time without getting mixed up in all the gangs and other prison bs?
We had one guy who we never had to tell him anything, to do something or stop doing something; he kept to himself, mostly just sat on the dayroom and read, talked occasionally to others but was pretty much just 'there'. Only reason I even knew the guys name was because he sent a lot of legal mail (I have to sign legal mail when it goes out); if not for that I legit wouldn't know this guy existed.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-11-2024, 10:42 AM
#259
So my first week I was working C yard as a Security Patrol Officer, and since I'm new I get to do all the bitch work, I don't mind since it makes the day go by. Well we have 8 guys who need to go to Receive & Release (R&R) for special purchases (they get delivered there, we take the inmates to get them): things like TVs, fans, hotpots, and any other appliances. All the inmates are already waiting at Work Change so I just need to go and escort them, no need for handcuffs or anything, just walk them. I have no fcking idea how to get to R&R, so this will be fun. I start walking them, and just keep right on walking, it should take me maybe 5 minutes to get there, but I went the wrong way, so instead of going right to R&R I walk around the entire fcking prison, maybe 3-4 miles we are walking, the inmates didn't say sht until we are almost there and they tell me I went the wrong way.
Well, fck you guys, thanks for saying something earlier, they said they didn't want to make me feel stupid since I was new but this was taking too long. At least they were nice about it, I was taking them to get appliances though, so better to not piss me off; we get to R&R, get the packages and on the way back I kind of let them take the lead… took us less than 5 minutes cutting through a few buildings. By the time I get back to the yard it's been over an hour and they were wondering where I'd been, fck you guys I killed over an hour!
When I started it was day one "Here's your equipment, good luck!" Now the new cops get a month of 'job shadowing' were they follow around other C/Os to learn the job, good in theory but most of them are too fcking lazy to learn sht and their first real day on the line we usually have to make them sit the fck down and learn.
Well, fck you guys, thanks for saying something earlier, they said they didn't want to make me feel stupid since I was new but this was taking too long. At least they were nice about it, I was taking them to get appliances though, so better to not piss me off; we get to R&R, get the packages and on the way back I kind of let them take the lead… took us less than 5 minutes cutting through a few buildings. By the time I get back to the yard it's been over an hour and they were wondering where I'd been, fck you guys I killed over an hour!
When I started it was day one "Here's your equipment, good luck!" Now the new cops get a month of 'job shadowing' were they follow around other C/Os to learn the job, good in theory but most of them are too fcking lazy to learn sht and their first real day on the line we usually have to make them sit the fck down and learn.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-11-2024, 01:07 PM
#260
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
So my first week I was working C yard as a Security Patrol Officer, and since I'm new I get to do all the bitch work, I don't mind since it makes the day go by. Well we have 8 guys who need to go to Receive & Release (R&R) for special purchases (they get delivered there, we take the inmates to get them): things like TVs, fans, hotpots, and any other appliances. All the inmates are already waiting at Work Change so I just need to go and escort them, no need for handcuffs or anything, just walk them. I have no fcking idea how to get to R&R, so this will be fun. I start walking them, and just keep right on walking, it should take me maybe 5 minutes to get there, but I went the wrong way, so instead of going right to R&R I walk around the entire fcking prison, maybe 3-4 miles we are walking, the inmates didn't say sht until we are almost there and they tell me I went the wrong way.
Well, fck you guys, thanks for saying something earlier, they said they didn't want to make me feel stupid since I was new but this was taking too long. At least they were nice about it, I was taking them to get appliances though, so better to not piss me off; we get to R&R, get the packages and on the way back I kind of let them take the lead… took us less than 5 minutes cutting through a few buildings. By the time I get back to the yard it's been over an hour and they were wondering where I'd been, fck you guys I killed over an hour!
When I started it was day one "Here's your equipment, good luck!" Now the new cops get a month of 'job shadowing' were they follow around other C/Os to learn the job, good in theory but most of them are too fcking lazy to learn sht and their first real day on the line we usually have to make them sit the fck down and learn.
Well, fck you guys, thanks for saying something earlier, they said they didn't want to make me feel stupid since I was new but this was taking too long. At least they were nice about it, I was taking them to get appliances though, so better to not piss me off; we get to R&R, get the packages and on the way back I kind of let them take the lead… took us less than 5 minutes cutting through a few buildings. By the time I get back to the yard it's been over an hour and they were wondering where I'd been, fck you guys I killed over an hour!
When I started it was day one "Here's your equipment, good luck!" Now the new cops get a month of 'job shadowing' were they follow around other C/Os to learn the job, good in theory but most of them are too fcking lazy to learn sht and their first real day on the line we usually have to make them sit the fck down and learn.
****…. my first day was working in the dining hall. NO clue what I was doing. Took me forever to try to do my inventory because I had no clue where everything was or what it looked like. Next thing I know I started getting calls from the guys working the night shift in the adjoining buildings wondering what the hell was going on so they can send me my workers. Eventually got them in, all 7 of them. That was fun…. Luckily HDSP only cell feed on the lvl 4 yard at that time so it was pretty cake once everything started moving. At least at the end of the shift before I sent the inmates back I was able to do my inventory much quicker…..
Free Agent…
☑*CountryMike Appreciation Crew*☑
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=177264401&p=1582345751#post1582345751
01-11-2024, 01:20 PM
#261
Originally Posted By jwtiger69⏩
Hah, my first time in dining I called the Sgt like "Hey, uh, I'm missing a mop, dustpan, and some boots." He just told me to go fck myself and only call if I was missing a hot tool like a spatula or something.
****…. my first day was working in the dining hall. NO clue what I was doing. Took me forever to try to do my inventory because I had no clue where everything was or what it looked like. Next thing I know I started getting calls from the guys working the night shift in the adjoining buildings wondering what the hell was going on so they can send me my workers. Eventually got them in, all 7 of them. That was fun…. Luckily HDSP only cell feed on the lvl 4 yard at that time so it was pretty cake once everything started moving. At least at the end of the shift before I sent the inmates back I was able to do my inventory much quicker…..
Good times.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-11-2024, 11:07 PM
#262
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
lmao, knew it. you gave it away when you said how you pick your cigars
Motherfcker…. yep; DM me Venmo. Can't believe someone nailed it in one.
i dont drink much, barely at all these days, and hardly ever in the past, but i still remember my first real encounter with evan williams and i wouldnt call it a fond memory. my buddy is on the football team and on a lot of gear, just found out his gal is a hoe and recently got ran thru (he wasnt invited) so we were having a seethe session. this dude had been drinking heavily since the womb so naturally theres always a bottle handy. we're sitting around in the dorm basement watching scuffed cult of black phillip (rip patrice) episodes, just seething you know. it takes nothing at all for me to be on the verge of hallucination, i can see the hate emanating from him on the other side of the couch. up to now we were the only people down there, but then we're joined by a group of asian kids that are part of a hip hop/bboy dance club that routinely practices in the basement of this building and they start setting up. it gets loud so we bump the volume and stop talking back at the tv, their music turns on, we bump it up louder, they make theirs even louder, its us antagonizing each other at this point and somehow i managed to open my mouth without everything id eaten that day coming out and i say to my buddy yo **** these kids lets just walk. ive literally never known dude not to pick a fight, and to my surprise he agrees. we pick up and hit the stairs, im half taking a sigh of relief that what couldve been an altercation seemed fo have been avoided, but not too big of a sigh or ill throw up everything ive ever eaten in my life and we're just at the door to go up and dude punches a whole clean through the door, like right thru the fire glass window in the metal door. wtf. dude has a whole half of the window stuck in his wrist as he pulls his hand back, you ever watch 1 guy 1 jar? you know rhat sound when the dude has his whole fist in his ass trying to pull the raw glass shards out of his ******* and its wet glass on glass rubbing each other? thats what it sounds like as hes nonchalant sifting around in his wrist pulling pieces out. he starts spurting blood and im grabbing his arm to pur pressure on the radial artery. hes mumbling some bull**** like hes about to pass out and we go to the ground. im improvising a way to stop the bleeding and from also puking myself out of existence. cadet cops show up basically immediately, then campus cops, and we're waiting for an ambulance, hes fully asleep. the asian kids music is still at full volume. emts get there and i myself am feeling warm and in need of a nice nap. theyre getting him ready to move onto the stretcher and my dude wakes up, feels like 8 people on him, and goes to war. he strikes a cop, tosses an emt, gets to his feet, and takes the whole rest of the team over the stretcher, knocks himself out. he goes to the hospital and i ride in the bqck seat of the cop car which im almost certain im going to fill to the brim with vomit. chill at the hospital for a bit and then i realize i have to get to work. i drive the zamboni at the ice rink and its almost 4am now, manage to get picked up by a teammate and dropped off at the rink. get inside the office and it was that first moment of calm at the end of the storm that finally broke me and i had my head in a bucket by my desk for the next like 15 min straight. enough time passes that i have to open the rink and get things goingx but i cant get my head out of this bucket, so im stumbling around the rink with my puke bucket and make it downstairs to get the truck ready and make the ice. its like 6am and parwnrs are here now with their kids and im driving this zamboni in cursive puking in a bucket between my legs bouncing off the walls. i already know its my last day on the job and my buddy will never play football again, and i would never, ever, want to take another sip of evan williams whiskey.
crocs at the gym crew
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01-12-2024, 03:23 AM
#263
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
Fckn' lol, the one thing I'll never have again is Captain Morgan. Was doing shots of it and for some reason one just stuck in my throat, just couldn't get it down, like my body noped out on me. Ended up puking all over my kitchen floor since I just barely failed to make it to the sink, now even the smell of Captain Morgan makes me feel sick.
lmao, knew it. you gave it away when you said how you pick your cigars
And sent, I might be a shtbag but I'm no liar.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-12-2024, 05:33 AM
#264
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
lmao no ty jefe thst also sounds miserable
Fckn' lol, the one thing I'll never have again is Captain Morgan. Was doing shots of it and for some reason one just stuck in my throat, just couldn't get it down, like my body noped out on me. Ended up puking all over my kitchen floor since I just barely failed to make it to the sink, now even the smell of Captain Morgan makes me feel sick.
And sent, I might be a shtbag but I'm no liar.
And sent, I might be a shtbag but I'm no liar.
and ty brah let it be known gbullock is the man, he means it when he says it
crocs at the gym crew
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01-12-2024, 05:49 AM
#265
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
Just trying to make the misc a bit better, one shtpost at a time.
lmao no ty jefe thst also sounds miserable
and ty brah let it be known gbullock is the man, he means it when he says it
and ty brah let it be known gbullock is the man, he means it when he says it
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-12-2024, 05:55 AM
#266
Working in D 2 and sitting at the podium with my partner, slow day and I'm only kind of paying attention when my partner elbows me and tells me to look to the right. There's an inmate, chubby white guy, wearing nothing but the tightest pants I've ever seen, he is poured into these. I don't even know how he got them on, but he has a muffin top that would make the Pillsbury Doughboy jealous, and he is just strutting back and forth like he's on a runway while a bunch of other inmates laugh and cheer him on.
WTF is going on.. you know what, fck it, I'm not about to go and ask. My partner and I just sit there laughing our asses off confused as fck. You see some wild sht, and just odd sht. This was definitely on the odd end of the spectrum.
WTF is going on.. you know what, fck it, I'm not about to go and ask. My partner and I just sit there laughing our asses off confused as fck. You see some wild sht, and just odd sht. This was definitely on the odd end of the spectrum.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
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01-12-2024, 07:51 AM
#267
So another story with inmate Muffin Top…
Our Admin was really getting on us about inmates having window covers; bassically they put cardboard up in the door window, usually cover half of it to block teir lights, but per policy they should have nothing. Admin was bored I guess so they want us to make sure they have nothing up (we give them leeway when using the toilet). Fine, want to make us work then fck it we will work.
So I'm in D 2, working the control booth, and at the start of the shift I announce on the PA to take down all window covers. We give it 10 minutes and my partners on the floor start going door to door, if you have a window cover I pop the door and they take it. No write ups, we ain't looking to do that, we just want the inmates to get the hint, no window covers. Well they get to cell 104, it has a full cover up, I pop the door and my buddy C/O Q, solid guy, never hesitates, I'd go to hell with this guy by my side, he's that good as a cop. I watched him freeze… WTF?
He suddenly yells "What the fck! Get the fck out of here!" I see inmate Muffin Top come out, that's not his cell… I see the guy whose cell it is come out too. Being me I hop on the PA and say "Well that is awkward!" the dayroom full of inmates starts cheering. Inmate Muffin Top is waving his arm like he just won a title fight, the other guy looks like his Mom just caught him jacking off.
C/O Q just tells me it smelt like ass and sweat in the cell when he took the window cover, I told him nope, no PREA (Prison Rape Elimination Act) today… they were 'watching tv' is what we're going with since he didn't actually see anything.
Just another fun day at work.
Our Admin was really getting on us about inmates having window covers; bassically they put cardboard up in the door window, usually cover half of it to block teir lights, but per policy they should have nothing. Admin was bored I guess so they want us to make sure they have nothing up (we give them leeway when using the toilet). Fine, want to make us work then fck it we will work.
So I'm in D 2, working the control booth, and at the start of the shift I announce on the PA to take down all window covers. We give it 10 minutes and my partners on the floor start going door to door, if you have a window cover I pop the door and they take it. No write ups, we ain't looking to do that, we just want the inmates to get the hint, no window covers. Well they get to cell 104, it has a full cover up, I pop the door and my buddy C/O Q, solid guy, never hesitates, I'd go to hell with this guy by my side, he's that good as a cop. I watched him freeze… WTF?
He suddenly yells "What the fck! Get the fck out of here!" I see inmate Muffin Top come out, that's not his cell… I see the guy whose cell it is come out too. Being me I hop on the PA and say "Well that is awkward!" the dayroom full of inmates starts cheering. Inmate Muffin Top is waving his arm like he just won a title fight, the other guy looks like his Mom just caught him jacking off.
C/O Q just tells me it smelt like ass and sweat in the cell when he took the window cover, I told him nope, no PREA (Prison Rape Elimination Act) today… they were 'watching tv' is what we're going with since he didn't actually see anything.
Just another fun day at work.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-14-2024, 06:46 AM
#268
Working 3/W as D 2 Control Booth, the guy I relieve is my friend, he's just there doing overtime and is back tomorrow for 3/W but on the floor in the same building. Since he is back tomorrow he leaves his duty belt in the booth instead of taking it out, big mistake because I will be fcking with it. Now I spend the whole shift thinking of something funny to do, and I get a plan; I am back tomorrow in D 2 Control for 2/W on a shift swap and I will stay for 3/W in there too, so I have time to make my plan work.
I get off at 2200 hours, I need to be back at 0600 but there is always time to fck with a friend. I swing by Walgreens and get the biggest box of flavored condoms they have and bring them in with me to work the next day. When I have a few minutes during the day I take the condoms out of the wrappers and fill his glove pouch with them, he keeps the pouch on the back of his belt so he wont notice until he goes to take out some gloves. So 3/w rolls around and my friend gets his belt, goes about his day and at some point an hour or 2 into the shift 2 of the condoms come half way out, just dangling… I have told no one what I did.
His partner on the floor sees the condoms, says nothing to him. Inmates see the condoms, say nothing to him. He's wondering why everyone keeps laughing when he walks by, but nobody says a damn thing. End of the shift he takes off his belt and finally notices the condoms (turns out he didn't need gloves that day). Just one of the ways we fck with each other to make work more fun.
Another game we had going for 3 days: we had a bagel someone brought but didn't eat, so we started putting it on each others radio antenna. The goal was to put it on their antenna and see how long until they noticed, most of us have out radios more to the back so you really don't see it. If you ended up with the bagel you had to then get it on someone else's antenna, and we did this for days, IIRC 4 hours or so was the longest someone went before noticing.
This is the dumb sht we get up to when we have 16 hours to kill on a shift and nothing much is going on.
I get off at 2200 hours, I need to be back at 0600 but there is always time to fck with a friend. I swing by Walgreens and get the biggest box of flavored condoms they have and bring them in with me to work the next day. When I have a few minutes during the day I take the condoms out of the wrappers and fill his glove pouch with them, he keeps the pouch on the back of his belt so he wont notice until he goes to take out some gloves. So 3/w rolls around and my friend gets his belt, goes about his day and at some point an hour or 2 into the shift 2 of the condoms come half way out, just dangling… I have told no one what I did.
His partner on the floor sees the condoms, says nothing to him. Inmates see the condoms, say nothing to him. He's wondering why everyone keeps laughing when he walks by, but nobody says a damn thing. End of the shift he takes off his belt and finally notices the condoms (turns out he didn't need gloves that day). Just one of the ways we fck with each other to make work more fun.
Another game we had going for 3 days: we had a bagel someone brought but didn't eat, so we started putting it on each others radio antenna. The goal was to put it on their antenna and see how long until they noticed, most of us have out radios more to the back so you really don't see it. If you ended up with the bagel you had to then get it on someone else's antenna, and we did this for days, IIRC 4 hours or so was the longest someone went before noticing.
This is the dumb sht we get up to when we have 16 hours to kill on a shift and nothing much is going on.
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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01-14-2024, 10:42 AM
#269
Originally Posted By gbullock32⏩
Working 3/W as D 2 Control Booth, the guy I relieve is my friend, he's just there doing overtime and is back tomorrow for 3/W but on the floor in the same building. Since he is back tomorrow he leaves his duty belt in the booth instead of taking it out, big mistake because I will be fcking with it. Now I spend the whole shift thinking of something funny to do, and I get a plan; I am back tomorrow in D 2 Control for 2/W on a shift swap and I will stay for 3/W in there too, so I have time to make my plan work.
I get off at 2200 hours, I need to be back at 0600 but there is always time to fck with a friend. I swing by Walgreens and get the biggest box of flavored condoms they have and bring them in with me to work the next day. When I have a few minutes during the day I take the condoms out of the wrappers and fill his glove pouch with them, he keeps the pouch on the back of his belt so he wont notice until he goes to take out some gloves. So 3/w rolls around and my friend gets his belt, goes about his day and at some point an hour or 2 into the shift 2 of the condoms come half way out, just dangling… I have told no one what I did.
His partner on the floor sees the condoms, says nothing to him. Inmates see the condoms, say nothing to him. He's wondering why everyone keeps laughing when he walks by, but nobody says a damn thing. End of the shift he takes off his belt and finally notices the condoms (turns out he didn't need gloves that day). Just one of the ways we fck with each other to make work more fun.
Another game we had going for 3 days: we had a bagel someone brought but didn't eat, so we started putting it on each others radio antenna. The goal was to put it on their antenna and see how long until they noticed, most of us have out radios more to the back so you really don't see it. If you ended up with the bagel you had to then get it on someone else's antenna, and we did this for days, IIRC 4 hours or so was the longest someone went before noticing.
This is the dumb sht we get up to when we have 16 hours to kill on a shift and nothing much is going on.
I get off at 2200 hours, I need to be back at 0600 but there is always time to fck with a friend. I swing by Walgreens and get the biggest box of flavored condoms they have and bring them in with me to work the next day. When I have a few minutes during the day I take the condoms out of the wrappers and fill his glove pouch with them, he keeps the pouch on the back of his belt so he wont notice until he goes to take out some gloves. So 3/w rolls around and my friend gets his belt, goes about his day and at some point an hour or 2 into the shift 2 of the condoms come half way out, just dangling… I have told no one what I did.
His partner on the floor sees the condoms, says nothing to him. Inmates see the condoms, say nothing to him. He's wondering why everyone keeps laughing when he walks by, but nobody says a damn thing. End of the shift he takes off his belt and finally notices the condoms (turns out he didn't need gloves that day). Just one of the ways we fck with each other to make work more fun.
Another game we had going for 3 days: we had a bagel someone brought but didn't eat, so we started putting it on each others radio antenna. The goal was to put it on their antenna and see how long until they noticed, most of us have out radios more to the back so you really don't see it. If you ended up with the bagel you had to then get it on someone else's antenna, and we did this for days, IIRC 4 hours or so was the longest someone went before noticing.
This is the dumb sht we get up to when we have 16 hours to kill on a shift and nothing much is going on.
lmao at 'can always find time to **** with someone' isnt it the truth.
we had a blow up doll that made the rounds for a semester, stuffed into peoples backpacks so it popped out in class, blown up and sat in the passwnger seat of peoples car in the parking lot, blown up and crammed into a gym bag, the all time though was valentines day and my buddy was newly single, so we made friends with the gals in the room above him in the dorm he was in (huge tower like 20+ floors) and convinced them to let us hang the blow up doll out the window and covered her tiddies with bright red lipstick, so i put her in a webbing harness and used another 20' loop to hang her from the bedpost and we sent her out the window, perfect height to be smacking into their windows. while this was happening we had taken the dude and his roommate to the dining hall and once we were good to go they walked back, theres at least 100 people in the courtyard watching and recording this doll flying through the air like superbimbo and smashing her big red tiddies into their window and leaving lipatick stains, all this on a day where we have a wind advisory with 80mph gusts. ra's got involved and the gals actuallt got written up but they were cool about it and we helped to smooth it over
crocs at the gym crew
- stegosaurus
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- stegosaurus
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01-14-2024, 12:32 PM
#270
Originally Posted By stegosaurus⏩
Lol. Halloween last year someone found a zombie door sticker that was full sized, and it was wearing a blue shirt and pants (inmate colors). They put it on the inside of the bathroom door so you wouldn't see it until you look in the mirror when washing your hands. SO I piss, go to wash my hands and just kind of notice the person shaped figure in blue out of the corner of my eye, out of habit I whip my baton out and yell "Get the fck down!" loud as hell at 0450 hours, then notice it's a door sticker and just started laughing. Whoever put it up (never found out who) got me damn good.
lmao at 'can always find time to **** with someone' isnt it the truth.
we had a blow up doll that made the rounds for a semester, stuffed into peoples backpacks so it popped out in class, blown up and sat in the passwnger seat of peoples car in the parking lot, blown up and crammed into a gym bag, the all time though was valentines day and my buddy was newly single, so we made friends with the gals in the room above him in the dorm he was in (huge tower like 20+ floors) and convinced them to let us hang the blow up doll out the window and covered her tiddies with bright red lipstick, so i put her in a webbing harness and used another 20' loop to hang her from the bedpost and we sent her out the window, perfect height to be smacking into their windows. while this was happening we had taken the dude and his roommate to the dining hall and once we were good to go they walked back, theres at least 100 people in the courtyard watching and recording this doll flying through the air like superbimbo and smashing her big red tiddies into their window and leaving lipatick stains, all this on a day where we have a wind advisory with 80mph gusts. ra's got involved and the gals actuallt got written up but they were cool about it and we helped to smooth it over
we had a blow up doll that made the rounds for a semester, stuffed into peoples backpacks so it popped out in class, blown up and sat in the passwnger seat of peoples car in the parking lot, blown up and crammed into a gym bag, the all time though was valentines day and my buddy was newly single, so we made friends with the gals in the room above him in the dorm he was in (huge tower like 20+ floors) and convinced them to let us hang the blow up doll out the window and covered her tiddies with bright red lipstick, so i put her in a webbing harness and used another 20' loop to hang her from the bedpost and we sent her out the window, perfect height to be smacking into their windows. while this was happening we had taken the dude and his roommate to the dining hall and once we were good to go they walked back, theres at least 100 people in the courtyard watching and recording this doll flying through the air like superbimbo and smashing her big red tiddies into their window and leaving lipatick stains, all this on a day where we have a wind advisory with 80mph gusts. ra's got involved and the gals actuallt got written up but they were cool about it and we helped to smooth it over
Short cuts to success are often paved with lies.
1/13/16: Massive hernia.
5/10/16: Finally back to lifting, light but improving.
Why Teens shouldn't cut/Lack of progress thread- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=169272763&p=1397509823#post1397509823
- gbullock32
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- gbullock32
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